So, I watched 2 movies this weekend: Outland, and Battle Royale. I highly recommend both of them, but....

What the shit.

Ok, I’ll start with Outland. Outland is High Noon set in space, starring Sean Connery, Which sounds like one of my wet dreams,   so I was pretty psyched to see it. And honestly, I think I liked it more than High Noon. There was a lot more tension to the story, and the motivations of the characters made more sense, and the characters themselves had much deeper personalities. Connery’s federal marshal is a broken, lonely man who is trying to prove that his life has some meaning. He’s sent to work in a mining colony on Io (Jupiter’s moon), where everyone just wants their next paycheck and couldn’t care less what happens to anyone else. So yes, this is totally about space truckers, and honestly they’re a much more interesting bunch than the cowardly townsfolk in the ‘classic’ High Noon. The movie goes along at a much better pace than the original, and the visuals hold up very well, considering how long ago it was made. The director is the same guy that did 2010, and the special effects here are basically just as good as in that beauty. Connery does a wonderful job, and is much more subdued than in most other movies; no quips or winks to be seen here. The supporting cast does a great job too.   I don’t want to talk about this too much because it’s fun to see what happens differently, but although the basic plot here is the same as High Noon, it really is a much better version of the story, and one that makes a lot more sense.

 Now, about Battle Royale…

What the shit.

Battle Royale is, in a nutshell, Lord of the Flies meets the Most Dangerous Game. That description also manages to leave out everything that’s relevant about this movie. It is one of the most insane movies I’ve ever seen. It’s incredibly violent, and almost all the violence is against kids around 15 years old. But at the same time, this isn’t really violent in an exploitative sort of way. Or maybe it is. I can’t really tell, which makes me think it isn’t. The whole movie is very sad, but it’s so fucking crazy you forget to cry (not that I would. Being a man and all). 

Basically, the story is that in the near future, Japan sucks, and so all the adults decide to blame everything on the younger generation, and they make them fight each other. Apparently it’s based on a book, but I haven’t read it so I dunno whether that’s worth checking out. I will say that this movie is a must see, if only to have your mind blown. I still don’t know what I really think about it. I think it’s really fucking good, but it’s just so damn weird I… I just don’t know anymore. Who knows, I might start drinking because of this movie.   I mean, I get what was going on, the plot isn’t hard to understand. I just don’t know how to describe it. If you think at all about this happening to you, it really fucks with your head. I’ll just say that if you watch it, and think the fight scenes are ‘awesome’, you’re missing the whole fucking point.  I think.  The only thing I can say with any certainty is that this is probably the most attractive group of high schoolers I've ever seen.