Coinciding with depression, are those feelings of derealization/depersonalization; the "unreality" of existence, both "internally" and "externally"; where one's inherent emptiness starts to disclose itself, so that we may comes to grips with it. This truth is of no actual use or purpose beyond its happening, and yet we still find ourselves in pain and discontent. For we are very much still engaged, subjecting ourselves to other people's notions and ideas about life and how to go about living it. It can leave one feeling apathetic and lethargic, to the point where lying on the floor and acting a corpse is a viable way to spend an evening, or even multiple years; you don't even know who you are, let alone what your story is going to be; so what use are you to anyone? and you can't help but wonder "How does anyone get anything done?"
Depression keeps one at odds with themselves, turning about-face the will; severely crippling your sense of freedom, and desire to get up(once again). To the point where you neglect your well-being, never trusting yourself to do what's right for your life, because you're terrified of not knowing what happens after you fail; after something you poured your life into, dies. So, you're left in a state of inaction, holding on instead of letting go.
I still struggle, but that's ok. It's the only way you learn. Be a fool, be kind, and keep going with what has you in love. it's all void anyways. "Life is painful, suffering is optional." Sylvia Boorstein
Once again, Patrick, another compelling read. (fist bump)
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