Castlevania Checklist: A Miserable Little Pile of Draculas Yet To Beat

I'm a big fan of Konami's series of vampire killing platformers, perhaps their most famous franchise that doesn't involve cardboard boxes. Yet I'll be daggered if I still don't have a veritable holy waterfall of these gothic adventures left to whip in the keister, so I axed myself why I haven't taken the time to stopwatch I'm doing and cross off the rest. So that's what this is: a list of Castlevania games I've beaten followed by a list I have yet to see the ending of (though I suspect they could end with the all-too-transitory death of one Mr. D. Dracula).

I am of course excepting those Pachinko games. Because what the fuck.

List items

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  1. Castlevania

  Like more than a couple of people, this was my first Castlevania. Took damn near forever to finish too. I suspect my entire history with the Castlevania series came about due to some residual Stockholm Syndrome from playing this game.

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  2. Castlevania: The Adventure

  The first GB one. Liked "Battle of the Holy", its default music. I don't really recall much of the rest, besides that there were a hell of a lot of chains to climb up. Chains hanging everywhere were a thing in the 80s thanks in part to Terminator, Die Hard and Alice Cooper music videos.

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  3. Super Castlevania IV

  Actually had to revisit this one some time after the SNES era. It's like the first, but with way more Mode 7 screen-tilting shenanigans.

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  4. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

  This game stole my soul and made me its slave. And yet I give tribute?! I don't belong in this world...

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  5. Castlevania

  The risible Castlevania 64. It's precisely as scary as The Fear Gauntlet would have you believe.

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  6. Castlevania: Circle of the Moon

  The first in a long line of GBA/DS Castlevanias that borrowed from Symphony of the Night's groundbreaking infusion of RPG elements and non-linear exploration. It's not particularly good though.

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  7. Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance

  Juste Belmont, the clearest indication that Alucard had it away with a female Belmont relative at some point in the past. I feel this was Konami having its cake and eating it too. Like Circle of the Moon it's another GBA SOTN, but a pretty good one.

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  8. Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow

  Of course, Harmony of Dissonance can't whip a candle compared to the duology of one Soma Cruz. The soul mechanics were what made this game stand out. It's still one of my favorites.

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  9. Castlevania: Lament of Innocence

  "I'll kill you AND the night!" And so began the Belmont family's proclivity for vampire-hunting and absurd melodramatic statements. 3D Castlevanias still had some ways to go.

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  10. Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow

  Soma's still struggling with his inner demons with this DS sequel. Curiously, it's not that much graphically superior to its forebear. But holy hell does it have things you can tap on now. Wheeee.

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  11. Castlevania: Curse of Darkness

  Castlevania somehow gets even gothicker with this rather good 3D Castlevania starring a couple of effete morally-dark alchemists.

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  12. Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin

  Protagonist-switching makes its triumphant return with this quest of two Belmont wannabes as they hunt a vicious vampire and his adoptive twin daughters through a series of magical paintings. Mario 64 did it already.

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  13. Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia

  This was the Castlevania portable set revisiting its roots by being bastard difficult. Shanoa's "The Tattooed Lady" act was an even dumber/awesomer version of Soma's soul-stealing gimmick.

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  14. Castlevania: Harmony of Despair

  Does it count if I played enough of this XBLA game to know that I didn't want to play any more of it? I don't believe it even has an end point, unless buying all the DLC was the end point. It would certainly be the point at which I would want to end myself.

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  15. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

  I was in the process of playing this game when I made this list. Past instances where I professed to like it were fraudulent. I'm not the type to throw in the towel with an entire series after one bad iteration, but holy shit did this game tempt me.

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  16. Castlevania

  What follows now are all the games I have yet to beat but someday (maybe) want to. I'm not sure why I feel the need to "catch them all" as it were, since many of these games aren't even available in English, but you can't get enough Dracula whippin'. That's what I've never always said.

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  17. Castlevania II: Simon's Quest

  I just get completely lost every time I try to play this game. After watching and listening to various people talk about their experiences with it, I'm starting to get the idea that I need a circa 1989 Nintendo Power magazine in order to get anywhere. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, GRAVEYARD DUCK?

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  18. Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse

  This game is damn tough. I pride myself for being able to defeat the other games on this list without any sort of cheating trickery (and lord knows I don't have much else to be proud about), but this one is sorely testing my resolve. If Kacho Arino couldn't beat it, what chance do I have?

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  19. Kid Dracula

  I think there are a couple of these cutesy takes on the Castlevania mythos, starring Dracula/Alucard as a tyke. I haven't tried either of them yet. I did however beat the Twisted Tales of Spike McFang, for whatever that's worth.

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  20. Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge

  The second GB adventure. These games have probably aged a bit, but I wouldn't mind checking them out.

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  21. Castlevania: Rondo of Blood

  Basically, the Castlevania series split three ways here for the 16-bit consoles, each one receiving their own unique iteration. This was the PC Engine/Turbografx one that never left Japan. But there's a few ways I can play it now, either through the Wii's Virtual Console or that PSP Chronicles collection.

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  22. Castlevania: Bloodlines

  And this is the Genesis one. Shouldn't be too hard to track down and I hear it's every bit as fun as Super Castlevania.

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  23. Castlevania: Dracula X

  I might skip Dracula X/Vampire's Kiss. From all reports it's just a rehashed Rondo of Blood. I'm sure purists would disagree.

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  24. Castlevania Legends

  The third GB adventure, famously denounced as non-canon by Castlevania's producer Koji Igarashi. Despite that, it doesn't look too bad. I mean, for a Game Boy game.

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  25. Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness

  The other N64 game, the one with the werewolf. At least if I start playing this, it'll have to try super hard to be worse than my already low expectations for it.

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  26. Castlevania Judgment

  I have no real intention of playing this game. If I ever get bitten by the curiosity bat, I'll just watch Giant Bomb's hilarious QL of it again.

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  27. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2

  Now I'm really on the fence about this game. The ending to LoS was absolutely insane, so I'm slightly interested in where they're taking it. But do I want to play it if it's anything like the first? Allow me to answer my own question: NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE.

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  28. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate

  Dang, I almost forgot about this one. This is the odd 3DS spin-off that's due out soon that flits around history looking at what some other Belmonts and Alucard are up to in this new-ish universe. Could be interesting. Or terrible.