I have dysthymia and major depression. I was in therapy and taking Pristiq for over a month but I dropped everything at the start of this month because I'm an idiot. Now I just lay in my room all day and do nothing. All of my friends have stopped calling me because I told them about my depression and now they tiptoe around me as if one wrong word will slit my wrists, and my parents are anything but understanding. It's a scene, man.
Have you tried talking to them about it? A lot of people want to be helpful and accommodating but honestly just don't know how. Let them know you're still you and they shouldn't act like such goddamn strangers. Let them know the things they can do to help. I think you should give it a shot.
What happens if you can no longer receive your medication? Is your happiness even real or just a figment created by a drug?
Your brain has neural transmitters called serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine (referred to together as monoamines), that regulate things like reactions to stress, your appetite, sleepiness, your sex drive, and most importantly your emotions. For some people, there is an inherent imbalance of monoamines that interferes with one's emotions. Antidepressants work to correct this imbalance and effectively stabilize everything the monoamines govern. Basically what the medication does is let you feel happiness, not make you feel it. Asking someone on antidepressants if their happiness is real is like asking someone with a hip replacement if their ability to move is real. ''Well that's silly, I can see them moving!' you might say. Aha! Therein lies the reason why there is still stigma surrounding mental health even today; You can't see it the way you can with physical health and naturally the things people can't see are both harder to believe and inherently off-putting. I believe that eventually people will find the courage and understanding to accept and embrace mental health, and anyone reading this could be the next to join the club.