By MooseyMcMan 3 Comments
That's right, it's that time of year again! If you've been reading my nonsense for the last couple years, just skip the next paragraph whilst I get explaining.
See, most random users on websites like Giant Bomb are content with doing a top ten list of their favorite games of the year. Well, that's not good enough for old MooseyMcMan. Instead, I created the Moosies; my own video game awards. Sure, it'll end with a top ten list, but do top ten lists tell you what game had the best use of facial hair? I thought not!
But this year's Moosies are going to be bigger and better than ever. Why? Two reasons. The first is that I've made a logo!
But that snazzy new logo isn't all! In addition to The Fourth Annual Moosies Video Game Awards, you'll also be getting...
That's right! I was looking for someone to sponsor my new "Retro" themed video game awards, and Mr. Tannen was looking for something to sponsor (for tax reasons, I'm told), so the fit was perfect!
But what is this madness? "Video Game Awards Retro"? As you may or may not remember, every year in the Moosies I have an award for the best game I beat that year that I hadn't beaten in a previous year. But this year I played so many top notch games from previous years that I didn't think subjugating them to one lousy award was enough, so now they have their own completely separate thing.
"But when are these fabulous awards being given?" Well, I'm glad you asked! The Biff Tannen Presents The First Annual Moosies Video Game Awards Retro nominees are being announced on the Monday of next week, and the winners will be announced the Friday of the same week. I'm afraid that even with Mr. Tannen's sponsorship I can't quite afford the dog and pony show that Spike TV can, so I won't be having any trailers with one-armed men or Samuel L. Jackson. Or even video, because it's just a blog (you wouldn't want to see me or hear my voice anyway, trust me, neither is anything special).
Then the Monday after (December 24th, also known as Boxing Day Eve Eve) I shall be announcing the nominees for The Fourth Annual Moosies Video Game Awards. The Friday after (the 28th) shall have the winners for those awards, and my top ten list shall... Well, it'll be two lists of five. The first (ten through six) on Monday (the 31st), and the second (the top five) on Tuesday (the first of the New Year). Why? To create more suspense, and to allow me to write even more nonsense about these games, because I know you guys can only take so much of my writing at once.
And there may be more surprises in wait, but there probably won't be. I don't want to promise anything based on something vague that someone I know said to me, but I've already said too much!
Also, please bear in mind that I live in a part of the world where a freak snowstorm could roll in any day and take out the power, and if that happens I apologize for any delays it causes to The Moosies. And because I have no smart phone or anything, I'll be completely out of sync with the internet should that happen.
But please stay tuned for this year's Moosies! Have I reached too far? Will I, in my hubris filled quest to fly to the sun, wind up burned and careening toward the ground like young Icarus of old? Or will it be a resounding success that future generations will sing songs of? Probably neither!
Nolan North, who did not return my calls where I asked him to sponsor my awards.