This Is Why I Shouldn't Be Allowed To Play Minecraft....

I should note in starting off that my initial reaction to things that are good and pure is to destroy, so what follows may not come as a surprise if you know me.  My team-killing tendencies are now well-established, and have been for most of my many years of gaming.  This may have started back when I played co-op in Chip 'N Dale: Rescue Rangers on the original NES (an underrated gem).  There, I found the most satisfying part of the game to be arranging new ways for my partner to die.  Whether that was by way of stunning him while an enemy was attacking or simply picking him up and hurling us both off the edge, I found this more fun than the as-designed gameplay mechanics.  My tendencies didn't dissipate as I got older.  Sometimes they lay dormant for a period of time, only later to surface violently and ruin an otherwise productive evening.  I recall one time in high school playing Doom 2 cooperatively, and not being able to get through the first level because I couldn't avoid chain-sawing my teammate in the back as soon as he turned to fight enemies.  When I initially got my Xbox360, I was banned from so many games of Perfect Dark Zero that I lost count.  More recently, I have tried to do this when possible in Borderlands.  Absent friendly fire, this is difficult but not impossible.  My preferred method has been to get a passenger in my car, and then vault us both over the edge of some near-bottomless pit.  This becomes progressively more difficult to do each time, but as a result each time is more emotionally satisfying than the last.  I guess the long and the short of what I'm trying to say here is that I ruin things.
 
So when some of my friends started a Minecraft game (and for whatever reason, invited me along), I immediately started trying to think of way to destroy everything.  Of course, enemies and damage were initially turned off, so I couldn't just go straight after my teammates, lure monsters to them, or try to push them off a mountain.  What follows is an attempt to document my disease in pictures.     
 

 This is pretty close to the starting point.  As you can see, my friends were nice enough to leave a line of torches guiding me from the spawn point towards their developments.  
 
They also threw in a number of signs to help me navigate an absolutely massive, polygonal world. 
 
Another helpful sign! 
 
As you can see, here they provided me with a load of raw materials and multiple crafting tools, the implements of their own destruction. 
 
 Emerging from the inside of the mountain, I find that they have even provided a large welcome sign.  Note the torches on the letters (that's called "foreshadowing").

Right at the top I find this nicely designed castle, complete with glass windows.  Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to effectively destroy something like this, so I am forced to move on. 

I follow a glass walkway to another part of the settlement.  Its defiance of the laws of gravity infuriates me and steels my resolve. 

Finally!  Something beautiful worth destroying! 

It's pretty dangerous to have that many torches attached to a wooden support beam, don't you think?

Whoops, now how did that happen?  Must've been the pig. 

This is starting to get out of hand. 

Oh, the humanity!

 Look at that smug little pig, just sitting there while the house goes up in flames!  Not a care in the world!

 That's better, at least now it's showing some emotion.  I may have had to hit him over the head with a pickaxe to get there, but it's a start.

One last look at the devastation I've caused.  Although something tells me I'm not done yet....

    
And finally, a reminder of the type of person my friends have to deal with. 
21 Comments
22 Comments
Posted by mzuckerm

I should note in starting off that my initial reaction to things that are good and pure is to destroy, so what follows may not come as a surprise if you know me.  My team-killing tendencies are now well-established, and have been for most of my many years of gaming.  This may have started back when I played co-op in Chip 'N Dale: Rescue Rangers on the original NES (an underrated gem).  There, I found the most satisfying part of the game to be arranging new ways for my partner to die.  Whether that was by way of stunning him while an enemy was attacking or simply picking him up and hurling us both off the edge, I found this more fun than the as-designed gameplay mechanics.  My tendencies didn't dissipate as I got older.  Sometimes they lay dormant for a period of time, only later to surface violently and ruin an otherwise productive evening.  I recall one time in high school playing Doom 2 cooperatively, and not being able to get through the first level because I couldn't avoid chain-sawing my teammate in the back as soon as he turned to fight enemies.  When I initially got my Xbox360, I was banned from so many games of Perfect Dark Zero that I lost count.  More recently, I have tried to do this when possible in Borderlands.  Absent friendly fire, this is difficult but not impossible.  My preferred method has been to get a passenger in my car, and then vault us both over the edge of some near-bottomless pit.  This becomes progressively more difficult to do each time, but as a result each time is more emotionally satisfying than the last.  I guess the long and the short of what I'm trying to say here is that I ruin things.
 
So when some of my friends started a Minecraft game (and for whatever reason, invited me along), I immediately started trying to think of way to destroy everything.  Of course, enemies and damage were initially turned off, so I couldn't just go straight after my teammates, lure monsters to them, or try to push them off a mountain.  What follows is an attempt to document my disease in pictures.     
 

 This is pretty close to the starting point.  As you can see, my friends were nice enough to leave a line of torches guiding me from the spawn point towards their developments.  
 
They also threw in a number of signs to help me navigate an absolutely massive, polygonal world. 
 
Another helpful sign! 
 
As you can see, here they provided me with a load of raw materials and multiple crafting tools, the implements of their own destruction. 
 
 Emerging from the inside of the mountain, I find that they have even provided a large welcome sign.  Note the torches on the letters (that's called "foreshadowing").

Right at the top I find this nicely designed castle, complete with glass windows.  Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to effectively destroy something like this, so I am forced to move on. 

I follow a glass walkway to another part of the settlement.  Its defiance of the laws of gravity infuriates me and steels my resolve. 

Finally!  Something beautiful worth destroying! 

It's pretty dangerous to have that many torches attached to a wooden support beam, don't you think?

Whoops, now how did that happen?  Must've been the pig. 

This is starting to get out of hand. 

Oh, the humanity!

 Look at that smug little pig, just sitting there while the house goes up in flames!  Not a care in the world!

 That's better, at least now it's showing some emotion.  I may have had to hit him over the head with a pickaxe to get there, but it's a start.

One last look at the devastation I've caused.  Although something tells me I'm not done yet....

    
And finally, a reminder of the type of person my friends have to deal with. 
Posted by wickedsc3

wow.......

Edited by Ventilaator

 Jerk
 
Absolutely love this.
 
But you're still a jerk. I don't think you're a jerk, but I think I should think that you are a jerk.

Posted by W0lfbl1tzers

This is precisely how Minecraft is supposed to be played.

Posted by Muttinus_Rump

I laughed.

Posted by ahoodedfigure

You redefine the term "friendly" in the phrase "friendly fire."

Posted by BraveToaster
@W0lfbl1tzers said:
" This is precisely how Minecraft is supposed to be played. "
Indubitably
Posted by RageGummy

This game looks better every time I see someone's take on the game. I'm not sure if to pick this up at the weekend or to buy the Guild Wars complete box. I need suggestions. 

Posted by Jon47

I'm his brother, I can testify to his team-killing behavior.  The worst part of it was in Doom 2 co-op your teammates always spawn in the same place. I think I just sat and watched in horror as Mark poured every last round of ammunition he had into our poor friend Tommy as he spawed over and over again.

Posted by JJOR64

I would love to get this game, but I would get bored with it quick.

Posted by MattyFTM

That is precisely why I will never buy minecraft. I will never get into the whole creation aspect of it, all I would do for entertainment is jump into peoples servers and destroy their stuff. And that would be very dickish & mean, and it would probably get boring after a short while too.

Moderator
Posted by BraveToaster
@MattyFTM said:
" That is precisely why I will never buy minecraft. I will never get into the whole creation aspect of it, all I would do for entertainment is jump into peoples servers and destroy their stuff. And that would be very dickish & mean, and it would probably get boring after a short while too. "
That's weird, you don't seem like the type to destroy. I think I'm starting to like you. No Homo.
Posted by lawlerballer

this is the only way to have fun in minecraft

Posted by mzuckerm
@Ventilaator: Your initial reaction is exactly right, I'm the last person you'd want to play most co-op video games with.
Posted by Skywarpgold

Lol, this server's on my home machine, and I can testify to his cliff-loving ways in Borderlands.  Also, this is specifically why I built the castle and air-walkway out of glass and stone. ;)

Posted by mzuckerm
@JJOR64: I thought the same thing.  And it might still happen, but I'm surprisingly entertained for now.  I think the key is to play with people that are into it, because they'll keep things moving.
Posted by Meteora

While I would call you a awful person for doing that, that was pretty entertaining seeing you destroy someone's property.

Edited by TwoOneFive

im kinda of scared to get into this game 
i kno w i would be addicted. 

Posted by mzuckerm
@MattyFTM: I dunno, this sort of thing keeps me entertained for quite a while. 
 
@Skywarpgold: Once I figure out how to destroy things (other than wood) on a large scale, you are good and fucked.
Posted by Shirogane

Ah, Borderlands. My friend trying to beat me in a duel by using some insane shotgun, but i one shot him straight away and so it just hit me with no damage. To me that is, he totally killed himself. 
 
Seriously though, you're a dick.
Posted by TwoLines

Right.. so that's.. fun..?

Posted by mzuckerm
@TwoLines:  'Fraid so.