By N7 63 Comments
And I have been here for a few days over a year now. My lust for Giant Bomb(And since then, Whiskey Media), however, began long before that. I will que, December 3rd, 2009. The Joystiq Meta Review changed my life forever. It was here that I peered my hungry little eyes into the comment section. What did I find? What you can find for yourself here
I went, I saw, I was conquered. I had never seen a website in all my life that was both funny and informative. Just saying those words together, the swift sensation of TBS flushed over my entire being. Okay not really but the shit was hilarious and I've never seen something like that before. I was like, okay cool, this website might be special. I didn't know Jeff Gerstmann was behind it(Or even how to spell his name!) until someone mentioned it. I only knew Jeff like I'd imagine most of you do today: The guy who was fired for reviewing Kane and Charles Manson or whatever it was.
It was internet love at first site. No, not for Jeff Gerstmann. I only love him in the most professional way possible without becoming homoerotic or creepy, but we'll save that for one anti-depressant fueled blog post later. I lurked this website and I lurked it haaaaard(Just look at all them fuckin' a's). Of course, during this time, my father was dying of cancer. Safe to say, my life at that point was complete shit. Seeing someone you have spent your entire life with just, degrade, was not a fun process. Thankfully, Giant Bomb was a nice salvation. It was easy to go back two or three pages and catch up on some QL's, maybe even watch the Rogue Warrior QL again.
In fact, to be specific, I was watching the Celebrity Poker quick-look when I received word that my father was living his final moments. It was pretty terrible.
It wasn't until around my birthday that I signed up. I can't remember if I signed up on my birthday or not, but I do remember I subscribed on my birthday. This site was the shit. The community was the best and the worst all at the same time and the moderators didn't suck. It was weird how this site could have existed in any such capacity that I was unaware of it for so long. But I found it. And I found it haaaa-okay enough of that.
I remember I was so surprised when I got my shirt because it had taken so long getting here I completely forgot about it. Then I put it on. Oh my god. It was magical. How funny is it that the best shirt I've ever owned was one I got from this website? It was so soft, so comfortable, so perfect. It's my colors. I wear that shirt when shit is about to go south. People can see the authority that shirt commands just rippling through my soul. It's perfect.
This shirt has seen a lot of hard times though. It's got a few tiny holes and the logo on both the front and the back are cracked beyond all hell, though still easily recognizable. When I die, I'm taking this thing with me. It's my soulmate. My soulmate is made by American Apparel.
The most peculiar thing I've ever experienced on the internet, however, is the fact that we can fucking swear the shit out of these forums at any given goddamn moment. You don't understand how amazing this is. I went to the forums I used to go to a long time ago and called one of my buddies, JOKINGLY, a stupid idiot-face. And I got a warning. I've called people worse things on this website and, a few days over a year so far, not a single warning. NOTHING. Like, the fuck dude. This place is a haven. Any other website, I would have been banned at least once by now. Or multiple times. Maybe even a dozen. Nope. Not a one.
So far, I haven't found anything bad about this website, except maybe the horrendous hatred people seem to have for Bioware. It's almost comparable to Reddit's supreme hatred for any religion. It's scary. But then again, this isn't a review for this website, so who gives a shit.
It was funny really, how shortly after I signed up, they announced Alex was leaving for New York. It bummed me out a bunch, because that guy is as cool as chrome wheels going 125 miles per hour down route 66. That shit is cool. It was like I was the cause or something. But time goes on, Alex is still here in some regard, and the site is still inspiring. I think if any other website had as dedicated a fanbase as you guys, well, never mind, because no other website DOES have a community so dedicated. So suck on that, commies.
I recently sent in the payment for my second yearly subscription at Whiskey Media, and I would like to extend my hand to not just the community, but the staff as well, for making something smoother and hotter than greased lightning itself, something sweeter than sugar , and more accessible than... a website?(Yeah, I got nothing)
So, no. This isn't as heartwarming as finding the absolute love of my life(Unless comedy counts, I like comedy a lot. I don't want to brag but I think we have something special), so, thanks. Thanks for making this husk of a man find comfort in the confines of virtual space. And thanks for being so tootin awesome :)