By pepsicolagirl 42 Comments
So I thought I’d better take the time out of my busy schedule to address a serious issue that threatens to stab at the heart of us all and affect the very quality of the site itself – my obviously low Gamerscore.
While a precursory reading of the situation might seem to reveal simply a lousy and un-kept profile resultant from an un-healthy combination of too-few games and you know, simply being a girl – such an interpretation would be wholly premature.
Why? You’re foolishly forgetting the luigi-peach principal of course.
Now while we’re all familiar with the math – lets take the opportunity to revise anyway shall we?
According to the pioneering theoretical principles outlined by the groundbreaking Luigi-Peach paper from MIT’s prestigious Mushroom Labs in the late 1980’s - The rate at which any given female plays a given game and proceeds to accrue in game rewards is equal to that rate at which her perfect intellectual equal who happens to be but by no coincidence is a boy, accrues said achievements: then divided by a factor of exactly 1.4015.
Now, a factor of 1.4015 may seem somewhat arbitrary, but careful reading Luigi-Peach’s seminal observations reveal the origins of the value to be perfectly rational and in fact, utterly unavoidable.
Considering all relevant conditions and variables, it was emphatically demonstrated that by dividing Meryl’s secret codec frequency from Metal Gear Solid, 140.15, by a factor of 10^2, we come to the value of 1.4015 – with the derivation of the factor 10^2 of course coming from the observation that MGS was approximately 100 times better than any other game released at the time, hence requiring all values originally expressed in the context of the game to be re-calculated at normal, non-MGS levels.
Having realised this, Luigi and Peach had clearly just discovered the only logical means by which a girl’s gaming performance can be accurately calculated and definitively determined. Hence – Taking the approximate average Gamerscore of around 5500 points into account (which we can safely assume to be principally constituted by the scores of male players), the Luigi-Peach principle predicts that the gamerscore of a given female gamer would be around 3924 points.
Now, as we can all readily determine; my score of 4100 points is discernibly higher than what should be mathematically possible.
The conclusion? Well, in the interests of continuing good natured interactions with Gant Bomb community as a whole: I’ll leave it to you to interpret my freakish ability to defy mathematical certainty however you like.
(1) If by busy schedule you realise I mean the newest episode of the big bang theory hasn’t been uploaded on TV Shack.com and found myself with nothing to do.
(2) In game rewards meaning ‘Achievements’ or ‘Trophies’, in the modern layman’s tongue.
(3) Clearly I jest – the only possible interpretation must surely be my sheer unadulterated awesomeness.