If the video game industry tried to fix the economy....

So, the American economy. It still exists, right? That one hasn't been busted by those people on that one Discovery Channel show, yeah? Okay, good. Then that means this blog will still be relevant before all the Communists in the world swoop down upon us all, mocking and saying "LOL" at multiple intervals in the same sentence at the expense of capitalism. Perhaps because my mind has been rendered mildly incoherent thanks to a sickness that's been roaming around the university campus, I took some time out of my day (ie: the extremely long swath of time that is 20 seconds) to ponder what life would be like if the video game industry took the reigns and tried its own methods of fixing the not-yet-fictional economy. The results of such a hypothetical nature both amazed me and terrified me simultaneously, a result whic probably stems from my insanity. Thus, here's a list which runs down what would happen in such an event, which is, of course, entirely serious and not influenced in any way, shape, or form by the debacle that is the Obama administration attempting to get a proper Treasury secretary. Oh, and there's plenty of non-proofreading ahoy after this introductory paragraph. I thought that would make for a nice touch and has nothing to do with this cold of mine whatsoever.


We wouldn't have these problems in the first place if the Vectrex was still alive.
1. Microsoft or Nintendo, depending on who would run be running the show, would simply make their online services' respective points system the standard national currency, finally replacing that pesky dollar for financial supremacy.

I bring up this point more or less because Wii and Microsoft points are immune to that horrid spectre which befalls today's currencies: inflation. When you go onto Xbox Live or the Wii Shop and you take a look at that copy of Mega Man 9 they'll let you download, the price of that game won't go up or go down. It will be a steady $10 for all eternity, come hell or high water. Because such a practice clearly makes sense in a realistic setting, the principle would be naturally applied to every other transaction imaginable. Want to go grocery shopping? You can expect that gallon of milk to cost 500 points today, tomorrow, next month, next year, and so on, at least until Jack Thompson returns to remind us of how immoral it is to base our economy on video games. Naturally, because the concept of interest doesn't exist within these intangible points, credit thusly wouldn't exist. Oh wait, does it still exist right now? If they didn't bust the economy myth on that one show, they certainly must have bust interest, at the very least. Woops. Moving on....

2. Downloadable content influences jobs and the sorts of benefits you get from the very start.
Yes, you'll have to pay for your protection so this minigame doesn't become a reality. Soviets. :*(

As it is right now, if you get a job that is not mine, you might be entitled to some benefits. Whether it's a retirement fund (oh, dammit, that one was busted, too), health benefits, or Communist protection, you're probably entitled to some perks up until the point your boss spots you surfing fanfiction.net and DeviantArt to satisfy your bizarre fetishes on the job. Clearly, that system is too nice to people and makes them happy to have their jobs. What the video game industry would thusly do is strip away all of these benefits which would come with your job by default and instead make them the analog equivalent of DLC. I say DLC and not patches because then it gives employees the impression that they'll get their benefits sooner or later by just spamming forums for an update, and that's clearly a huge no-no. No, if you want that dental insurance, eye care coverage, horse armor, or even the extremely essential Communist protection, you're going to have to pony up some of your own paycheck in order to upgrade your experience to something which is vaguely respectable. That money then gets funelled back to Activision so they can fund some more of their cocaine-infused development team parties so they can recall what their own company was like back in the 70s. Because that's the natural extension of all this DLC stuff.


Wait. Onechanbara. That can save our economy. OF COURSE! It all makes sense now!
3. I don't have any more ideas, so this list is going to be rather anticlimactic. Maybe you can think of something?

This cold of mine apparently prevents me from making lists which are longer than two items in length. So instead, I'll turn to you, the reader who absorbed all of my ramblings about the economy and Communism with a straight face. What else do you think the video game industry would try to do with the economy if it was running it? I'm somewhat certain that there are lots of you who don't have a cold and therefore possess more uninhibited insanity than I do. I guess you could say this is a call for some user-generated content. On a blog.

Oh, wait, I didn't get the chance to talk about that here. Damn.
4 Comments
5 Comments
Posted by Pepsiman

So, the American economy. It still exists, right? That one hasn't been busted by those people on that one Discovery Channel show, yeah? Okay, good. Then that means this blog will still be relevant before all the Communists in the world swoop down upon us all, mocking and saying "LOL" at multiple intervals in the same sentence at the expense of capitalism. Perhaps because my mind has been rendered mildly incoherent thanks to a sickness that's been roaming around the university campus, I took some time out of my day (ie: the extremely long swath of time that is 20 seconds) to ponder what life would be like if the video game industry took the reigns and tried its own methods of fixing the not-yet-fictional economy. The results of such a hypothetical nature both amazed me and terrified me simultaneously, a result whic probably stems from my insanity. Thus, here's a list which runs down what would happen in such an event, which is, of course, entirely serious and not influenced in any way, shape, or form by the debacle that is the Obama administration attempting to get a proper Treasury secretary. Oh, and there's plenty of non-proofreading ahoy after this introductory paragraph. I thought that would make for a nice touch and has nothing to do with this cold of mine whatsoever.


We wouldn't have these problems in the first place if the Vectrex was still alive.
1. Microsoft or Nintendo, depending on who would run be running the show, would simply make their online services' respective points system the standard national currency, finally replacing that pesky dollar for financial supremacy.

I bring up this point more or less because Wii and Microsoft points are immune to that horrid spectre which befalls today's currencies: inflation. When you go onto Xbox Live or the Wii Shop and you take a look at that copy of Mega Man 9 they'll let you download, the price of that game won't go up or go down. It will be a steady $10 for all eternity, come hell or high water. Because such a practice clearly makes sense in a realistic setting, the principle would be naturally applied to every other transaction imaginable. Want to go grocery shopping? You can expect that gallon of milk to cost 500 points today, tomorrow, next month, next year, and so on, at least until Jack Thompson returns to remind us of how immoral it is to base our economy on video games. Naturally, because the concept of interest doesn't exist within these intangible points, credit thusly wouldn't exist. Oh wait, does it still exist right now? If they didn't bust the economy myth on that one show, they certainly must have bust interest, at the very least. Woops. Moving on....

2. Downloadable content influences jobs and the sorts of benefits you get from the very start.
Yes, you'll have to pay for your protection so this minigame doesn't become a reality. Soviets. :*(

As it is right now, if you get a job that is not mine, you might be entitled to some benefits. Whether it's a retirement fund (oh, dammit, that one was busted, too), health benefits, or Communist protection, you're probably entitled to some perks up until the point your boss spots you surfing fanfiction.net and DeviantArt to satisfy your bizarre fetishes on the job. Clearly, that system is too nice to people and makes them happy to have their jobs. What the video game industry would thusly do is strip away all of these benefits which would come with your job by default and instead make them the analog equivalent of DLC. I say DLC and not patches because then it gives employees the impression that they'll get their benefits sooner or later by just spamming forums for an update, and that's clearly a huge no-no. No, if you want that dental insurance, eye care coverage, horse armor, or even the extremely essential Communist protection, you're going to have to pony up some of your own paycheck in order to upgrade your experience to something which is vaguely respectable. That money then gets funelled back to Activision so they can fund some more of their cocaine-infused development team parties so they can recall what their own company was like back in the 70s. Because that's the natural extension of all this DLC stuff.


Wait. Onechanbara. That can save our economy. OF COURSE! It all makes sense now!
3. I don't have any more ideas, so this list is going to be rather anticlimactic. Maybe you can think of something?

This cold of mine apparently prevents me from making lists which are longer than two items in length. So instead, I'll turn to you, the reader who absorbed all of my ramblings about the economy and Communism with a straight face. What else do you think the video game industry would try to do with the economy if it was running it? I'm somewhat certain that there are lots of you who don't have a cold and therefore possess more uninhibited insanity than I do. I guess you could say this is a call for some user-generated content. On a blog.

Oh, wait, I didn't get the chance to talk about that here. Damn.
Posted by ahoodedfigure

Just erased what I wrote, didn't make much sense to me.

Um...  if we base an economy on video game scrip, lessee...  Those who forge the money would change to the computer crime types from straight false printer dudes.  In some way that would be easier, some ways harder to go after people. 

Beyond that, inflation is the result of a tactic that governments use to make up for the loss in currency fluidity.  You print more money, then the money doesn't start skyrocketing in value and making...  damn it, I give up.  I need some food.

Posted by Sweep

it makes SO MUCH SENSE?!?!


Damn those pesky Soviets...
Moderator
Posted by TG_SOLID

I agree with your first point. Also we already are Soviets, why should be protect ourselves from  Soviets. Didn't you know? Ever since Jan. 20th we've officially added another S to the USA.

Edited by Pepsiman
TG_SOLID said:
"I agree with your first point. Also we already are Soviets, why should be protect ourselves from  Soviets. Didn't you know? Ever since Jan. 20th we've officially added another S to the USA.
"
The Soviets remark is, much like the rest of the blog's content, a joke. I'd rather not have the blog's comment section/thread turn into a political argument for the sake of one, if at all possible, since that wasn't the intent when I wrote it. Not everyone on the site is American and nor does everyone think Marxism, Communism, Socialism, and the like are complete jokes or unworthy of serious contemplation, either. Different strokes for different folks, after all.

Back to the topic at hand, who here agrees that Segata Sanshiro should become the treasury secretary, what with video games infiltrating the economy and all?