Tough to say as both systems have their pros and cons. With the PS3, you're getting a system with a number of superb exclusives (Uncharted series, Journey, Infamous 1&2, MGS 4, LittleBigPlanet 1&2, Demon Souls etc.) and has a few more exclusives on the way (The Last of Us, Beyond, maybe The Last Guardian) but it's also nearing the end of its console cycle.
3DS has a few good exclusives already, (Super Mario 3D Land, Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask, Theatrhthm Final Fantasy) but nearly as many as the PS3. However, the 3DS still has a ways to go before finishing its cycle and has a new Fire Emblem and Pokemon on the way. Really, it depends on how much you game outside your home and which kinds of games you prefer.
As for the 3DS vs. the XL, every review I've read puts the XL above its predecessor -- even with the lower pixel density.
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