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Ping5000

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PRETEND BREAKING NEWS: Battlefield 3 unites the world

In a startling announcement today, President Barack Obama and all major world leaders announced plans to declare world peace to get ready for Battlefield 3.

"My PC parts just arrived and I don't really care about Libya anymore." said Moammar Gadhafi, ousted ruler of Libya.

Peace talks occured roughly 30 minutes after Digital Illusions (DICE) released their latest Battlefield 3 trailer on YouTube. Boasting full-scale destruction and 64-player online warfare on the PC, all world leaders promptly started making diplomatic calls to one another.

The trailer displayed an online carnage atypical of what games offer today, with a wide selection of armored vehicles, air transport and massive maps for players to wage war in. Rendered using DICE's own proprietary Frostbite 2.0 engine, the visuals on display were on the bleeding edge of technical excellence.

"After that trailer, all bets were off," said President Barack Obama "I wasn't really too keen after the beta, but this trailer just changed my mind completely."

Obama added that he understood the slight irony of the situation in how a war game would promote world peace.

"I think that's the secret all along." said Obama "We all know war can be thrilling as long as no one gets hurts, but that's never ever the case. It's always tragic, always full of despair, but those moments of do or die -- the intensity, the adrenaline rush of combat, that RPG screaming past right above your head -- that's something I'm sure people want to experience and DICE has done that. They've made war fun."

DICE was not surprised by the sudden willingness from all nations to finally join hands in unison and work together to achieve a better world.

"It was one of the unintended side effects when working on Battlefield 3, so we're not surprised at all." said Lars Gustavsson, lead multiplayer designer for Battlefield 3. "Towards the end of development, we got reports from our playtesters saying that they had sudden urges to promote world peace."

DICE will be the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts in promoting and ultimately securing world peace.

"Just another trophy for our trophy case. Not really a big deal." said Gustavsson.

With only 6 days left until the release of Battlefield 3, world leaders are quickly reaching terms of agreement before the impending release.

Obama hopes world peace will be established before October 21st, so everyone can start preloading the game.

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