I saw this dude feasting on a rosemary-laden hog. i asked him to give me some of that fing, and he growled menacingly. i booted him off his chair and stole his evening meal. i had to run extra fast to escape his crazed, slavering pursuit.
2. Roger Federer
I saw roger federer stacking it on a treadmill. he rolled over and over like a car tyre, and each of his continued oscillations made me laugh exponentially harder. nearby people asked me to leave, so I left but not before looking back at federer who was lying in a foetal position, and gave me a sly wink as I left.
3. Jim Raynor
I saw jim raynor on a train, and he was a bum on the train who was groping people, and sniggering to himself. i told him to stop doing that, but he stole my iphone and then fled like stephen baldwin. when he was halfway out the door, he was heard to remark, "we better fled", and then he was off.
I saw lion-o and he was prancing around pretending to be a tiger. he tried to bite my arm, and I got rabies, I blamed lion-o for those rabies that he had given me, and each time I foamed at the mouth, I remembered that horrible thing lion-o and his diseased mouth and lips.
I saw the batman, and he threw five batarangs at me. i was super pissed so I hid a rancid egg in his favourite batman suit. it wasn't for several hours after he adorned that fing that he noticed the smell, ahhh, but that was too late. when the illumination of the hidden egg filled his brain, he looked up, and I was there, nodding in a knowing fashion.
6. Duke Nukem
I saw duke nukem, but not this fool in the picture, i mean the 2d character who liked collecting things and doing flips. he was super rad, and we hung out for hours. when the grim spectre of his future 3d persona entered the conversation, he became belligerent and starting throwing things at me. it was uncalled for, so eff that dude.
I saw a goomba hiding in the bushes. he tried to convince me to go in there with him, with a sly grin on his face, but I managed to ward him off with capsicum spray. i went back a few hours later, and he was coaxing an elderly gentleman in there. he caught my eye, and made the shhh sign with his non-existent hand.