I should start with the disclaimer that I'm not much of a social networking kind of guy. I like Twitter because I don't need to offer up much in the way of personal information, and I can follow the comments of friends and interesting people easily. Facebook doesn't serve much of a purpose for me; in fact, the only reason I have a Facebook account is because I accidentally completed the account creation process while trying to figure out if an automated "check your address book" system was the reason my dad had been getting spammed with Facebook invites. I've since glanced at Facebook occasionally, but I have all of five friends on there. Five. I don't see a reason to network with hundreds of people I don't know or care about, since that seems a tad insincere.

That said, I like the new social networking additions to Xbox Live, but I really wish more effort was put into better integrating Facebook, Twitter, and last.fm into the service as a whole. Simply having them as stand-alone applications smattered across the NXE interface cheapens their existence somewhat, and really makes me think Microsoft rushed these ideas out, or wasn't all that interested in them to begin with.

Let's start with Twitter. The interface you launch into is fine for an external interface, but how about giving the option to tweet in the middle of a game by opening up the guide? I'd even be interested in the option of having a Twitter-colored notification pop up, much like for achievements or friends signing on, any time I receive an @ reply through Twitter (though that would be an incredible nuisance for anyone with a mass following).

I understand there are future plans for Facebook integration with Facebook connect, but I'd like to see a lot more integration for Facebook than Twitter. Wouldn't those notorious Uncharted 2-style Twitter updates work better posted as automatic summaries on Facebook? I'd be all right with my Xbox reporting to Facebook that I broke a certain gamerscore barrier or beat a game, along with other significant accomplishments. Furthermore, with the emphasis on Facebook's photo albums, I'd love to have the option to post any pictures I took in Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, Forza 3, or any other game directly to albums on my account.

As for last.fm, I think everyone wants to be able to use that feature outside of the application. Plain and simple.

Certainly a lot of these ideas would require game developers to jump on board and force Microsoft to retool the NXE interface. I think the lack of any of that shows just how poorly Microsoft planned out these features. Is that a shame? Absolutely. I still think there's a lot of potential in proper integration on consoles that would increase the value of both these internet social networks and Xbox Live at the same time.

(I have no comments on the Zune marketplace. I still avoid watching movies ever since my eyes gazed upon the Rollerball remake.)

Week 1 surprised me in that I'm actually making progress on my summer list, and not letting the Internet distract me from my Xbox 360. I'm satisfied so far! My completionist fury picks up where it left off, with...

Project Gotham Racing 4

or

The Boosting Session From Hell

Last week I discussed my ability to use two controllers at once to nab an achievement while hurting the hell out of my hands. I think this week rivals that pain.

I had a "boosting" session scheduled for July 4th with seven other players. Typically, these groups are really handy for achievements that require playing modes no one would normally even touch. In our case, the main goal was the Team Domination achievement, awarded for a whole four-person team finishing ahead of all the other team's players in a ranked team championship. Considering how difficult it is to find four people (or even one person) on the ranked playlists at any given time, gathering a group for the explicit purposes of this achievement was a must. It's not exactly how I'd like to earn these achievements, but once a game's multiplayer has been practically abandoned, what choice do you have?

Well, you could play normally and leave the achievement unearned, but that's no fun. As someone who's pretty used to badgehunting in certain MMOs, I have learned to enjoy torturous levels of tedium!

Anyways, our time for the meeting was 4 p.m., so I fired up PGR4 at 2 p.m. to try for a few unrelated achievements. Right as I'm about to join a match, the group organizer sends me an invite. OK, this seems fine, maybe he's looking to do a few achievements on the side as well.

Nope!

The next two hours involve me sitting in a player lobby waiting for everyone else to join. I can barely communicate with the organizer, who appears to be from the Netherlands and speaks broken English, and I don't want to quit out for the fear he might misunderstand that I want to do something more fascinating than stare at a listing of players for two hours, and replace me with another willing participant. What's worse is that he seemed to misunderstand the concept of time zones, as I hear him muttering repeatedly about "fucking retards" not showing up when there's still an hour and a half before the set time.

So almost two hours burnt at a lobby screen waiting for people to join. There wasn't even anything interesting on TV to pass the time, being July 4th and all. Could it get any worse?

Oh yes.

PGR4, and PGR3 for that matter, have one of the absolute worst matchmaking systems I've ever dealt with, especially when very few players are looking for a specific match. In PGR3, it took 15 minutes to match me up with two friends when we were assuredly the only people looking for a specific ranked race. I expected that the system wouldn't be any better this time around, and its ineptness did not disappoint.

Cue a ten-minute waiting session full of complaints and anger, followed by racing. Sure, we got the achievements, but man. The effort it took just to make the whole process come together was a hilarious clusterfuck in itself. There's nothing like staring at a game's matchmaking system in awe when it can't figure out that 4 + 4 = A FULL MATCH.

Sometimes boosting for achievements feels just as satisfying as struggling to earn achievements via normal means. This is one such occasion.

Zombie Wranglers

or

How To Make a Boring Zombie Game

OK, so maybe this wasn't a good week in the fun department. If you're one of the 17 other people on Giant Bomb who's actually played Zombie Wranglers, you can sympathize with the mediocrity I had to struggle through.

I ended up winning Zombie Wranglers over Twitter, through a random guess at a certain Microsoft employee's trivia questions. I wasn't exactly gunning for it, but I was bored, put in an educated guess for the year of one of the shuttle launches, and boom. Free game. I wasn't expecting the greatest game in the world, but I also didn't think someone could screw up a zombie game this much.

Basic concept: zombies run amuck in a city, and you have to shoot them or vacuum them up while collecting items or completing side tasks. Repeat ad nauseum for twenty levels. It might've been more interesting with more fluid controls and more lenient aiming, but as it stands, half the time you're running away from zombies to get a clean shot, and the other half is shooting and hoping you don't miss due to the bad controls.

Heck, I can't even recall the storyline. There were zombies, something wacky and "hilarious" turning people into zombies, then you fight a doctor and some ending song with horrible sound levels plays. It's all rather confusing, but thankfully the single-player achievements were easy enough. After finding someone who had the multiplayer achievements, I finished this game and ran. About the only reason I'll pick it up again is if I feel like adding to its wiki or helping someone out with its achievements.

I didn't mention this game has achievements with scores that don't end in 0 or 5, did I? Yeah. That's certainly encouragement to get 200/200. It's not that I mind having an uneven gamerscore, but I sure as hell don't want to have to explain that I played this game to get all abnormal in the first place.

Scene It? Box Office Smash

or

Scene It? I Haven't!

I finished up last week with a decent trivia game about movies. That's something, I guess.

Look, I don't know anything about movies, OK? I haven't been to a movie theater since I went to see the remake of Rollerball. I can't go back. It'd be like walking into a dark alley to be stabbed by the same crazed hobo again. It's scarred me for life. I have nightmares about that horrible 20-minute nightvision scene where LL Cool J dies.

That said, I just had to try these nifty buzzer controllers. I've been playing alone, off and on, making educated guesses about movies I've never seen. Surprisingly, this game's still mildly playable that way!

It'll take a while, but I'll get all 1250 points from Scene It? in due time. I just have to get lucky with certain topics, like knowing which of ten movies [insert actor/actress here] has been in. I'm not even sure I could name five movies any given actor or actress has been in.

Now, if only Scene It? released a game about TV trivia, I might have a chance. Then again, it'd probably be about Seinfeld, Friends, Sopranos, and all those other shows I never cared about...

Week 2 Stats

Starting Score: 16500
End of Week 1 Score: 16820
End of Week 2 Score: 17195
Weekly Gain: 375 points!
Total Gain: 695 points!

Starting Completion: 69.25%
End of Week 1 Completion: 70.01%
End of Week 2 Completion: 70.04%
Weekly Gain: 0.03%. :(
Total Gain: 0.79%!

NEXT WEEK:

• I get distracted by Worms 2: Armageddon!
• PGR3 is a lonely place full of nothing!
• Maybe Peggle or Crackdown stuff!

Can't say I care at all about cell phone games. While I'll certainly accept that their quality in general is probably getting better, I really don't consider a cell phone a worthwhile gaming platform. If I want to play games on the go, I can always carry a Nintendo DS with me.

I'm currently between cell phones, and can't say I'm suffering at all without one. When I get around to picking up another cell phone, the only functions that currently pique my interest are keylock/keyguard, the ability to text (which I'll never use anyways), and maybe the ability to use a Twitter app (which I'll also probably never use due to cost and unwillingness to stroke my own ego).

For me, that makes cell phones a non-gaming utility more than anything else. For now, I'd prefer they remain that way.

Just over a week ago, I answered Giant Bomb's question of the "day" and talked about increasing my achievement scores in a bunch of Xbox 360 games I've neglected or otherwise haven't completed to my satisfaction. I feel it'd be appropriate to write about any progress I make on a weekly basis.

It's important to clarify that I'm looking to improve my achievement percentage, rather than just my gamerscore. I could buy a bunch of new games for easy achievements, but I'd much rather work on my completion rate with what I already have. Call me cheap, but I enjoy completing games to the point where I know there's nothing else I can accomplish without an insane amount of dedication.

Anyways, onward to the tales of progress!

Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts

or

The Joy of Ragequitting

I was already finished with the main story of Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, and considering I thoroughly enjoyed it, purchasing the Lost Challenges DLC was a given. There's not a whole lot to say about the DLC in general: It's tougher than the previous challenges, I cursed a lot over some of the more annoying tasks, and all the single-player tasks were completed in a day or two of sporadic gameplay.

Right, that was quick.
Only Nuts & Bolts' multiplayer achievements remained, and I was expecting the absolute worst. Ranked matches where I have to win by large enough margins to pull off some arrogant maneuvers? Finding someone who actually had the DLC and beating them in multiplayer? I figured that I wouldn't find any opponents in the first place, and that I'd have to join a boosting group of some sort to get achievements.

I didn't expect that I'd get every multiplayer achievement through ragequitting.

The whole ordeal started out rather oddly. In a match type that encouraged naval battles, I decided to try for the achievement of winning with a custom vehicle, and made the mistake of picking a boat with severely underpowered weapons. Finding out all my opponents had opted for planes didn't help quell the sudden feeling that I was utterly screwed. The round seemed hopeless, as I struggled to find a way to shoot egg cannons upward, while dodging deadly barrages torpedoes and lasers raining down on me from the sky.

I had already accepted my loss when, with a minute to go, two of my three opponents got fed up with each other and quit, leaving me to realize the third opponent had been flying off on his own and accumulating quite the negative score. Victory for PsEG, 0 to -6!

My strange luck continued. An opponent realized the default vehicle for an oval "drag" race couldn't hold up to even the most basic custom racer, and quit after a single lap. Same for a sumo match where I brought a rather vicious vehicle to the fray. Even an underpowered jet car with wings frustrated a crowd of people two turns into a race, mere seconds after I had passed for the lead and dodged their weapon fire.

The ragequits were glorious, and I now proudly stand with an S-Rank in Banjo-Kazooie. My advice for anyone that might be reading this? Don't ever give up in an online match, especially not during a race. You never know when your opponent might make a major mistake or lose their connection.

You lose 100% of the races you don't finish, right? Not counting poorly conceived ranking systems where disconnects don't harm your standing, of course.

Virtual-ON

or

My Day as the Glass Joe of Robots

Having earned a full 1250/1250, I moved on from my daily grind as bear and bird to frantic fights with giant mechs. A month or so ago, I won a copy of Virtual-ON when Major Nelson dropped a few Xbox Live codes into his chatroom while flying to E3. Playing games obtained with little to no effort will be a recurring trend, I assure you. I am cheap to a fault.

Anyways, Virtual-ON has perhaps the easiest single-player mode I've ever played. Upon dropping the difficulty down to very easy, the only tactics necessary for victory involved learning how to move the mech, dashing, and firing at anything looking like the enemy mech. As a person who considers himself inept at fighting games but skilled at repeating the same tired tactic to death, I had no trouble whatsoever. Only the Japanese fanatics in multiplayer stood in my way of an S-Rank.

Oh, wait, the multiplayer achievements only require playing ten ranked matches, not winning them. No problem, then!

It's a lot easier facing players with hundreds of matches under their belt when you don't care about beating them. These matches had some of the most pathetic tactics I've ever employed in a fighting game. Dash right, fire rockets. Wait. Dash right again, fire more rockets. Dash...left, fire more rockets! I'd also open several rounds with a powerful laser blast that usually caught the enemy off-guard and cut their health in half, which usually ensured that they beat me with only half their health remaining.

I was fully expecting a 0-10 record, but an unsuccessful Japanese player showed up for my tenth fight, allowing me to pull a stunning upset, and retire with a 1-9 (1 KO) record. I also ended up earning my first negative rating for not having enough skill. For once, I agree.

PGR4

or

Why My Pinky Finger Still Hurts

There's not much to talk about this week regarding Project Gotham Racing 4. Its multiplayer is quite desolate, so I've had to join a group looking to boost achievements. More on that next week.

I did, however, manage to nab the game's only split-screen achievement by myself. The "Back It Up!" achievement requires both players in a split-screen match to finish 1st and 2nd against at least one AI opponent while reversing across the finish line. The only way for me to complete this normally would involve inviting a friend over for the sole purpose of accomplishing the achievement, and let's face it -- that'd be awkward as hell, not to mention a little sad. Well, sadder.

Fast forward to me struggling to hold two controllers in my hands, keeping one car stable on an oval track while my pinky finger holds down the throttle on the bottom controller for the second car, which wall rides around the track. Ten laps and several stretched-out and aching fingers later, I had the achievement.

Perhaps my effort was excessive for just ten points of gamerscore. I keep telling myself it's the memories and experiences that'll stick with me to make this all worthwhile...not to mention the arthritis.

Week 1 Stats

Starting Score: 16500
End of Week 1 Score: 16820
Weekly Gain: 320 points!

Starting Completion: 69.25%
End of Week 1 Completion: 70.01%
Weekly Gain: 0.76%!

NEXT WEEK:

• PGR4 and the "fun" of organized boosting
• Zombie Wranglers and the "fun" of games that aren't fun
• More attempts to find fun and not "fun" while gaining gamerscore!

One constant in my life these days is college. Over the summer I'll continue attending a few business classes, since I'd quite like to avoid spending too many more years in school. There is no longer time for indecision on a future career in my life.

That alone isn't a very interesting answer. It's intentionally vague, too! I should probably talk about something gaming-related.

Provided collegework doesn't become too menacing (and by all means it shouldn't), I'm looking into going back to play a bunch of older games and rack up achievements I've missed in them. To say Giant Bomb's new achievement ranking system isn't factoring into this decision at all would be an outright lie. I've earned almost 70% of the possible gamerscore I can earn with all the games I've played, and I'd like to get that figure closer to 75% overall. Failing that, I'll settle for a few more S-ranks and a few less C and D-ranks.

What can I say? I like being a completionist and getting as much value as I can out of my games.

Anyways, here's a broad summary of some of the more pressing tasks I'd like to accomplish before a wave of new releases hits:

• Finish the multiplayer achievements in Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, then deal with the DLC. I am not looking forward to having to play Klungo Saves The Universe.
• Find remnants of humanity that might actually play PGR3 and PGR4, and get multiplayer achievements for both those games. PGR3 will be a tremendous challenge, since its multiplayer makes ghost towns look crowded.
• Get good or lucky enough at Peggle to finally beat someone by over 100k in a party game. That probably means I need to learn how to score over 100k on a consistent basis!
• Finally collect all the bloody hidden orbs in Crackdown. Maybe I'll be able to coerce my old teammate in Crackdown to jump into finishing time trials on psychotic with me, too!
• Find out why I'm so bad at Pac-Man C.E., and fix that matter right proper.
• Enter Test Drive Unlimited, find the handful of people who still play that, and beg them to let me win in multiplayer and club races. I suppose I could find normal people willing to help with that, too, but that's a lot of effort.
• Maybe finish GTA IV. Not terribly psyched for that idea. It takes far too long for me to set up for missions.
• Maybe run through the campaigns of both Gears of War games at higher difficulties. I only touched Gears of War 1 once for a co-op playthrough on the easiest difficulty. It was one crazy six-hour stint. I probably owe the game more attention.
• Maybe play that Undertow game Microsoft gave out as an apology for downtime? Ehh. Maybe not.

Will I complete this all before I get the urge to buy new games? Of course not. It'll be interesting to try anyways, though, not to mention it'll keep me away from soul-draining addictions like MMOs.