Bad to The Boll

I was just watching two of Uwe Boll's movies last month and goodness gracious me, did they suck. I guess the critics were right after all. Uwe Boll's video game movies really suck so bad. Not only did the films stray from the source materials but also the acting, dialogues and production were awful. I'm no film director but when I watched his movies I was correcting the films in my head telling myself that some parts should've been this way, some parts should say it this way and so on. I think a 10 year old kid could do a better job than him.


So the movies I watched were House of The Dead and Alone In The Dark. House of The Dead I gotta admit was really not that bad but the only thing that ruined it was the storyline. Rather than having the infamous duo (Thomas Rogan and Agent G) as the main characters and Dr. Curion as the main antagonist, what we got instead was something totally bizarre. The only thing I gave credit to HoTD were the action scenes. Some parts were totally inappropriate and unnecessary but it could've been worse. 

Now, Alone In The Dark was a real s**t bomb. It had nothing to do with the original franchise as well as common sense so why was I watching it? The movie was supposed to involve monsters, mysteries, haunted mansions, horror and dark magic but no, that didn't seem to be the case. I still have some other Uwe Boll movies to watch like In The Name of The King, Far Cry and the infamously abysmal Bloodrayne but only God can save me from watching them with pain and agony.


Psykhophear
5 Comments
6 Comments
Posted by Psykhophear

I was just watching two of Uwe Boll's movies last month and goodness gracious me, did they suck. I guess the critics were right after all. Uwe Boll's video game movies really suck so bad. Not only did the films stray from the source materials but also the acting, dialogues and production were awful. I'm no film director but when I watched his movies I was correcting the films in my head telling myself that some parts should've been this way, some parts should say it this way and so on. I think a 10 year old kid could do a better job than him.


So the movies I watched were House of The Dead and Alone In The Dark. House of The Dead I gotta admit was really not that bad but the only thing that ruined it was the storyline. Rather than having the infamous duo (Thomas Rogan and Agent G) as the main characters and Dr. Curion as the main antagonist, what we got instead was something totally bizarre. The only thing I gave credit to HoTD were the action scenes. Some parts were totally inappropriate and unnecessary but it could've been worse. 

Now, Alone In The Dark was a real s**t bomb. It had nothing to do with the original franchise as well as common sense so why was I watching it? The movie was supposed to involve monsters, mysteries, haunted mansions, horror and dark magic but no, that didn't seem to be the case. I still have some other Uwe Boll movies to watch like In The Name of The King, Far Cry and the infamously abysmal Bloodrayne but only God can save me from watching them with pain and agony.


Psykhophear
Posted by CL60

Never watch Bloodrayne...ever.

Posted by Meltbrain

Thankfully, I have not seen one of this dudes films. Because of the way he makes his films and because he pretty much has no interest in making a quality movie of any kind, only making money, I will never watch one of his films. The guy is awful. Not only an awful director but an awful person with a terribly crude sense of humour. I hope he dies in a fire.

Online
Posted by UweBoll

I'd like to see you do better!

Posted by Tireyo
@CL60 said:
" Never watch Bloodrayne...ever. "
Posted by buzz_clik

Alone in the Dark is friggin' hilarious. There are so many things wrong with it that I was constantly rewinding to see I wasn't hallucinating. And I've actually watched it more than once, too.
 
The story's a mess, the acting makes cardboard seem hyperactive and the effects are naff. Oh, and the editing's poor in spots - a one point you can see someone who is supposed to be dead lifting their head for a couple of frames.
 
As an aside, here's a great article.
 
@UweBoll said:

" I'd like to see you do better! "
The difference is that we've not chosen to make movies for a living. However, feel free to critique me on my graphic design skills, "Uwe".
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