I found your opening spiel amusing. Good job. Plus you reminded me how much I love Oblivion. Gosh it was so good. Skyrim is pretty and all, but can't hold a candle to that Dark Brotherhood quest where you are effectively part of Big Brother where you murder all the other house mates. Or persuade them to murder each other. Or the culmination of the Thieves Guild where you steal a fucking Elder Scroll.
Plus that Expansion. Such a let down Skyrim never got a proper Expansion like Shivering Isles. Sheogorath was a boss.
I considered Dragonborn to sort of be that. It's not as good as Shivering Isles, but I guess it's the closest we're gonna get.