I wanted to write down some of my thoughts about Ryan Davis.

Two years ago Ryan Davis passed away.

Most people in the my life have no idea who this person is, but to me, this was one of the saddest moments of my life.

Ryan Davis was a gaming journalist and personality who most recently worked for the website Giantbomb.com, a video game website that focuses mostly on long form video of newly released games and have a podcast every Tuesday, the Giant Bombcast, where they discuss that week in gaming, and the various going ons in their lives.

I first discovered Giant Bomb in 2012 on the Penny-Arcade forums. I don't remember exactly how, but I somehow found a few YouTube videos of their podcast, one of which was a story about how Ryan tweeted about how the floor of the hotel his room was on reeked of weed. After this he took a nap and when he awoke, found he had been responded to by the hotel, saying they informed the manager and would be taking action, meaning he accidentally “narced out” a couple of “harmless weed smokers.”

From then I have not gone a week without consuming some content from Giant Bomb, be it video, audio, or articles. This is primarily due to the personalities on the site and how well they play off each other. Ryan was the host of the Giant Bombcast and his personality was immediately likable and hilarious.

Over they years, despite never having met them, I felt like I knew these people. Hundreds of hours of listening to their voices, discovering new things in video games, and having something to look forward to after a bad day. No matter how shitty I felt I knew watching one of their videos would make me laugh and forget about what was bothering me, at least for a little bit.

Two years ago today Ryan Davis died. News of this hadn't gotten out until a few days later out of respect for his family. Reading the short article posted on the website was one of the most shocking things to have happened to me. I didn't believe it at first and thought it was a joke, since he was taking time off for his wedding. Unfortunately this was not the case. Less then a week after his wedding, he was gone. This voice that I had spent hundreds of hours listening too was gone, and would never be back. I would never have a chance to meet him and tell him how great he was.

This is the only time I've cried about someone I've never meet dying. It seems silly. I didn't actually know him. He didn't know me. We never talked or e-mailed. I never even tweeted at him, mostly because I don't use Twitter, but the point is I never actually interacted with him.

In my mind, I know this. But it still doesn't change how I feel. A great man died, someone who I had hoped to meet one day, someone who brought joy to the lives of so many people, someone who had not been married a week. He's gone, and there's nothing I can do to change that...

The only thing I can do is remember who he was to me, introduce him to people who I think might enjoy his personality, and keep on gaming.

While writing this, I almost started crying. It took a lot to hold back the tears... years later, I still miss him. Love Ryan Davis.