When someone great is gone.

I've had time to deal with this,

The Bombcast and indeed Ryan has been, a real force of good in my life, I've relied,,, heavily, on them, throughout the last few years, and increasingly over the last 2.

Headphones on at work, going about my daily routine, paying debt, work hasn't been fulfilling in any way for some time, and the bombcast is how I keep sane in the mundane, it's how I cope with how god-awful my job is for my brain, I switch off, go on autopilot and am regaled by these amazing people, who allow us, no, who invite us, into their lives, who treat their fanbase as something other than just fucking clicks on a webpage,

When I found out, I was just stunned, I asked for time off work but had to come in to cover until they could get someone to cover my shift, I just couldn't deal, I snapped at people, telling them I just lost a good friend, i needed to get out, so I left, headed to the liquor store, bought a litre bottle of Jack grabbed my Duvel goblet and succumbed myself to the maudlin,

I drank to the bottom of that bottle..

.

If you haven't read this blog post from Tidel, I urge you to do so because it's so on point to how this whole situation is from the users side,

http://www.giantbomb.com/forums/general-discussion-30/it-s-tuesday-1444364/

"I am sad and angry and grateful. These are my feelsballs; watch me juggle."

While I was in my drunken stupor, I looked up Ryan's "this is my jam" page, https://www.thisismyjam.com/taswell

taswell’s last jam was:

Take It As It Comes

byVivian Girls

That fucking slayed me, and through it I found it to be an apt last message from him, take it as it comes. Fuck man,

Listening to the latest bombcast has been the last piece of catharsis that I needed, I'm ready to continue, I'm in the headspace that I can go to work, old Bombcast's on repeat and deal with this, I mean,

I've had time to deal with this.. Right?

5 Comments
5 Comments
Posted by CaptainSandwich

I feel the same. I've never celebrated my birthday, as someone raised Jehovah's Witness for a time, who has no basis for celebration aside from drinking... I turned 31 yesterday. I felt like drinking to forget, though. didn't want to play video games, but ended up doing it anyway for most of the day because that's what I love. That's what we love. Fuck. Now I'm crying.... thanks for sharing your feelings, man. Thanks so much.

Posted by doejonathan

@red12b: Hey Red, hang in there, pal. It's not about forgetting a new void that has opened up in life, nor trying futilely to fill it with something else. It's there, it's there tomorrow and the next, it's about trying to accept that this is what it is. It will take time, it will change, but it won't go away. Go to work, stay off the bottle.

Posted by Binman88

Yeah man, this is truly awful. I feel terrible for all he's left behind and what he won't get to experience. 34 is too fucking young to die. Dude was living an awesome life and deserved a happy future.

The only consolation for anyone grieving his loss is that time really does significantly help us to move on from shit like this. It'll never be the same, but the anger and feeling of hopelessness will fade with time. Just sucks getting to that point.

Posted by dankempster

Sorry it took me a while to get round to reading this man. It's been a pretty hectic week so far - kind of appreciated because it helps keep my mind off things, but it's also kept me from reading a lot of these blog tributes to Ryan.

I feel weird trying to leave a comment on any of these blogs, yours included, because although they're all sharing the same sentiment, each one is personal, and therefore different from the next. It's nice to read them because they reflect that although we're all different, we're also unified under the banner of this incredible community. To see so many different kinds of tributes all conveying the same message is very poignant.

I don't really have anything to add, I just want to echo the sentiments of the comments above. It sure as hell doesn't seem like it now, but time will be a big factor in the healing process for all of us. @doejonathan has put it brilliantly, in a far better way than I ever could. Take it easy man, and remember that this community as a collective is here for you, and for each other.

Posted by Red12b