Toodles the Turtle

There once was a turtle with no name. He had a large adam’s apple and for fear of his life, he hid his face -and throat- away in any -and every- situation. He didn’t have many friends and constantly moved around, carrying his home on his back as all turtles tend to do. All day every day he’d travel far and wide looking for a purpose.

One day he came across a very nice girl. She wondered if he was scared of dieing by being hit in the throat. “Yes” said the nameless turtle. And after hearing his sob story, she assured him she’d never punch him in the throat. The turtle and the girl become best friends.

Spending everyday with the girl, she wondered why he was always traveling. To find a reason. “Almost like your…toodeling?” said the girl with a giant grin on her face. The turtle stared blankly right on through her. “That’s what I’ll call you” exclaimed the girl. “Toodles the Turtle”.

“Must you call me that?” Groaned the turtle. The girl then made flipper-like gestures in his face with her hands and simply said, “Toodle Toodle.”

-Toodling all day everyday-

“Hey Toodles!” said the girl. “Uggg, what..” Moaned Toodles. “I guess since you’re Toodles it must be Toodle Time!”. She laughed. and laughed. She even made a parody to the song Party Rocky by LMFAO by replacing shufflin’ to Toodlin’.

While Toodles was not impressed… he didn’t notice he was about to fall off the precarious cliff they had been toodling on all day. “TOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDLLLES!” Screamed the girl as she held on to his tiny toodlin’ paw. Trying to pull him up she lost grip and Toodles went plummeting to his, well what we could only assume was his death.

Luckily, Toodles landed on his back. The girl yelled down to him “Toodles, don’t forget. It’s Toodle time. START TOODLING!” But you know how turtle are on their back… yep, Worthless. So he tried and tried but no amount of effort could ever get Toodles to turn upright.

He died.

The girl cried. She stood up and brushed herself off. And in Toodles memory she wrote him a song heard here:

TOODLES, why have you flown the coop?

TOODLES, has turned into a bowl of soup.

TOODLES, you shall be missed.

TOODLES, It’s hot and your probably now a crisp.

TOODLES, I think of you all the time.

TOODLES, Kissing makes it kind of hard to rhyme.

TOODLES, Never really got to experience life.

TOODLES, Will never please his -future- wife.

TOODLES, Never got to experience intimacy.

TOODLES, lived the life of celibacy.

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