By Sarumarine 4 Comments
I've been working on a pair of games recently. Kirby: Canvas Curse and Call of Duty 4. They're pretty far apart in some respects but share one thing in common. They're god damn unforgiving.
Kirby: Paint Panic (feat. Canvas Curse) Kirby: Canvas Curse was a fairly gimmicky launch title for the DS where Kirby is turned into a helpless ball that you have to guide by drawing lines with the stylus. It's not a terrible game and it's not your standard Kirby adventure, but the real draw for me is a mini-game called Paint Panic. It's basically connect-the-dots on speed (as my friend put it) where you face off against Paint Roller. There's a pattern of dots on the screen that he'll trace a line through that you have to match. Of course, Paint Roller's lines don't stay up so it's a memory game too. All while this is going on, Kirby is rolling through a pipe at the top of the screen. Each mistake you make brings a parade of walking bombs closer to Kirby. Screw up four times and it's game over.
Paint Panic has one of those dick scoring methods (like the Trauma Center series) where even if you do fairly well, you'll get the lowest score ever because you weren't absolutely flawless. The scoring on Paint Panic is brutal. To give you an idea, they have a G rank. Below F. The highest I ever got (on the easiest setting) was an AA rank probably because I managed to get through ten easy pictures without messing up but I can't be sure. Combine this with a medium and hard setting and Paint Panic becomes an epic quest for high scores. Each difficulty increases the number of pictures you have to beat, how complicated they are, and lowers the number of mistakes you can make before the bombs catch up with Kirby.
Paint Roller can be a real jerk and use pictures that have several phases to it, like you draw the body, then he adds a face, or an accessory. One of the hardest pictures I've never been able to beat is the last boss of Kirby's Adventure on the NES. There's like five goddamn steps to drawing it and they have tons of dots... Still, I want to see if I can swing an AA rank on medium or hard. Draw fast, draw pretty, draw to win.
YouTube Visual Aide: Paint Roller in Story Mode
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (on Veteran) I went crazy a few weeks ago and decided to play through Call of Duty 4 on Veteran. I had a lot of fun on Hardened and decided that I wasn't going to touch Veteran because of a few key levels that I couldn't imagine myself beating under any circumstances. Somehow all the Ferris Wheels and Nuclear Bombs in the world wasn't enough to keep me from giving it a try.
For starters, Veteran is not fun. Not in the traditional way. Every enemy in this mode is equipped with a Soap-detecting radar so they can shoot you at a thousand yards with a pistol through heavy brush and a broken window. There have been points in this game where I was literally shot halfway across the map by enemies I couldn't even see. And they're infinite too. They will keep coming unless you make suicidal charges to move up the front line. Very quickly, I learned that Veteran is about crouching every second of every fight, hugging corners and making full runs across open ground hoping that I wouldn't get shot to death. It does a good job of making you feel like the only reason you beat a level is because you got lucky instead of being a good player.
It's safe to say I totally chickened out on the "One Shot, One Kill" level and cowered in the corner of a building while MacMillan fended for himself. Of course, once the evac chopper arrives you still have to pick up your paraplegic CO and get on board. Still died a million times before I actually beat it. One time I was jumped by a dog for some reason. And it's a shame too, because "All Ghillied Up" is such a bad ass level that going out at that stupid Ferris Wheel is a crime. If Price doesn't have night terrors about carnivals and infinite angry Russians, he damn well should.
I'm almost done with the game on Veteran at this point. There are three or four levels left. Basically the nuclear silo. I don't expect those will be any more painful than "One Shot, One Kill" so it shouldn't take too long. I don't know about the Mile High Club plane mission because I've heard tons of awful stuff about that and it's an optional stage. The high point of Veteran so far has been the "Crew Expendable" cargo ship mission and the untouchable "Death From Above". I'm pretty sure that an AC-130 can save anything at this point. They make everything great.
Perks I'd bring from Modern Warfare 2 to Call of Duty 4's Veteran mode.
- Marathon Pro
- Danger Close Pro
- SitRep Pro