Sayishere's forum posts

#1 Edited by Sayishere (1838 posts) -
#2 Edited by Sayishere (1838 posts) -

@axialcartographer said:

You're not alone. I was the victim of verbal abuse regularly throughout elementary and middle school. This not only destroyed my ability to socialize in a healthy manner, but also purged any ounce of self-confidence and self-worth that a healthy individual should posses. It also destroyed my desire to do well in school, as I was typically more pre-occupied with being made fun of than I was with paying attention in class. As a result, I was consistently failing and barely passing my classes in school. In High School, kids got much less confrontational (not everyone's experience, just mine) and instead of making fun of people "they" didn't like, you were simply ignored. This kind of "shunning" was in some way just as bad as the bullying I experienced beforehand, and further encouraged my social exile from humanity.

I experienced my first "break" in Senior year, after being assigned to a weight lifting elective. I couldn't work up the courage to actually go to the counselors and select my electives for the new semester. If you didn't select your own electives the school would assign them to you at random, but I was absolutely opposed to spending any more time at school than I had to so I never selected them. My experience in weight lifting was an immense boost in confidence. I lost weight, got in much better shape and people began to actually notice me, which in a way tells you how fucked up people are. With my slightly improved confidence, I started being able to actually talk to some people and made a few friends. Our little group was all alike in that we were the outcasts of the school, but they were good people generally. I found a job at a local grocery store, which actually helped even more as I was forced to interact with people everyday. I finally started to develop social skills that had escaped me for so long. I learned how to approach people, how to greet them, and how to make general conversation.

I still struggle with it somewhat, but not necessarily anxiety. Because of my life experiences I've become a very cynical and jaded individual, and can have difficulty relating to others.

You're not alone.

Your experiences remind me alot of my own. I wouldnt say i suffer from serious social anxiety, but i say i do have some tendencies. I was also bullied, made fun of, verbal abuse, sometimes even physical. Got less worse over time, but theres a nagging feeling in the back of my head that wants to run away from social situations. I try to adapt and be friendly...sometimes that isnt enough for me, my brain just tells me 'get the fuck outta here'. But as i say its got much better, but i still find it hard to connect with people. If your my friend? DAMN im the best friend you could ever have. Just an acquaintance? well you won't get me at my 100%.

#3 Edited by Sayishere (1838 posts) -

Lol, this is amazing, is it bad for me to like seeing him squirm? this is sadistic, and amazing. I wanna play Gone Home again....while eating a pepper!

#4 Posted by Sayishere (1838 posts) -

I end up playing old retro games on my phones, the most recent one ive been playing is Street fighter 2.....fucked up controls but OMG, ITS STREET FIGHTER 2!

#5 Posted by Sayishere (1838 posts) -

I really hope it doesnt, i feel like when a game goes free to play it becomes solely focused on trying to make more money. A good example of a game doing this is SWTOR, where the cartel market is just filth. They sell remodeled mounts/pets and expect people to open packs to get these items. It just dampens the game and actually playing a game and achieving something just becomes a one click fair...instant gratification i guess. It just bums me out and makes me want to high tail outta there.

#6 Edited by Sayishere (1838 posts) -

I dont hate Origin, its just Steam has been around for longer, and holds primarily all my games. I feel it just a nuisance to go over to Origin to play a select few games.

#7 Posted by Sayishere (1838 posts) -

Ok well, thats amazing, and i tip my hat .

#8 Posted by Sayishere (1838 posts) -

This is way to much for me to handle. I had nightmares yesterday....FUCK...serves me right.

#9 Edited by Sayishere (1838 posts) -

Just make a character at not peak times, and stay afk with your toon, thats the only way :D

#10 Posted by Sayishere (1838 posts) -

Any euro players around? Not made a character yet, wondering what server to make it on;)