How can they program in weird things like this but not program the game to just lock up to prevent piracy all together?
I think the idea is that piracy will never really be stopped, and people will pirate things regardless. By doing something that doesn't restrict the game completely, it means that people can still play the game and realise it's worth buying, whilst simultaneously having a message saying "Hey, we know what you're doing, and we're going to make you look bad for not buying it. Have some decency."
If the game just locked up on a pirated version, the only two things that'd happen are:
1 - The kind of pirate who downloads all the latest releases regardless of their interest (which seem to be a lot of them) would say "Well fuck this" and delete it, not play it, and just move on to the next game, without even considering buying it.
2 - If a legitimate customer somehow trips the copy protection, they'd still be able to play the game, and be able to prove to the developers that they bought it, so the developers can find out why it triggered and patch it. The customer would then still be able to play it in the meantime while it gets fixed. It'd also save some hassle in the future when the copy protection becomes outdated, so they wouldn't have to manually remove it. (That's why everyone hates Games for Windows Live after all. No protection lasts forever, and it can screw over players of older games when the protection no longer works, or becomes inaccessible online.)
The problem with 'intentionally screwing over the player' types of copy protection (like Batman not being able to glide, and randomly inserting other weird game-breaking bugs) is that pirates get it, say "This port is buggy as hell!" and then never buy it, whilst telling everyone they know "Yeah, don't get that PC port, it's awful."
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