You know you've been in Denmark for long, if

 

  • You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
  • You think its normal to pick up a girl in a pub, walk her to her bike and ride with her back home.
  • You think its impolite to sit next to someone in a bus if there is a bench where you can sit on your own.
  • You go to the supermarket and buy three good beers and 10 not too good ones.
  • You can open a beer bottle with almost anything.
  • You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long.
  • You can tell the difference between a Grøn Tuborg and a Carlsberg beer.
  • The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is to look for the queue number machine.
  • You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
  • When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:

a. he is drunk; b. he is insane; c. he is British; d. he is all of the above.

  • Silence is fun.
  • It no longer seems excessive to spend 800 kr. on alcohol in a single night.
  • You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".
  • You use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.
  • The word "yes" is an intake of breath.
  • You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank
  • Traditional dinners may not necessarily mean a cooked meal.
  • You forget how to open canned beer.
  • Can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".
  • You frown at "guest workers" who use "please" and "excuse me" for not integrating!
  • You will leave a pub if you can't find a seat.
  • Your wardrobe no longer has suits but blue shirts and mustard colored sports jackets and lots of denim.
  • You don't mind paying the same for a 200-metre bus ride as you do for going 10 kms.
  • You don't look twice at businessmen in dark suits wearing white sport socks.
  • You start to believe that if it weren't for Denmark's efforts, the world would probably collapse pretty soon.
  • You find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than the name of the wine.
  • It feels natural to wear sport clothes and a backpack everywhere.
  • You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word "hyggelig".
  • You are very surprised when you receive compliments about ANYTHING - including your appearance/clothing! In fact when you do, you find it suspicious and start thinking they might have ulterior motives.
  • You no longer offer to get the cheque on a date - for fear of physical attack from your felame companion.
  • You don't think it strange that no one ever comes by to visit without being invited and you never show up at any one's place unannounced either.
  • You find yourself lighting candles when you have guests - even if it is brightly sunny outside and 20 degrees.
  • You offer people strange-tasting brown alcoholic liquids with their coffee in the MORNING!
  • You find the idea walking across the street when the light is red unforgivable, even though there are no cars in sight and it's 3am in the morning!
  • You consider a 6 month InterRail or Backpacking trip sufficient to "know" the world and thus proclaim Denmark to be the pinnacle of civilization. For thereafter to settle back into mediocracy, smug in the knowledge that you "braved those wild frontiers" :P
  • You understand that Danes aren't rude and abrupt like they may appear, just a little more reserved than most but once you gain their trust they will be your friend for life.
  • You accept the stereotype that Swedes are always drunk, Germans are always nude when they have sand under their feet and English speaking people tend to smile to hide confusion.
  • The highlight of your evening is the hotdog with remoulade or the calzone from 7/11 at the end of the night-end of the night being the arrival of the first bus in the morning!
  • You consider standing in the Airport Arrivals hall waving a danish flag normal and "hyggeligt"
  • You've become the master guru of bicycle repair
  • You find normal spending the whole week-end with your mates rather than with your partner
  • You start setting up Dannebrog everywhere
  • You think someone saying Undskyld is just a weirdo
  • You start yelling at pedestrians crossing at red light while there is no car in sight
  • You think anyone who is not convinced any single thing in Denmark is great (but maybe the weather, ok), and the Danes the most civilized people on earth should just go home
  • You are sincerely unable to understand someone asking for the Strøget if the ø is hesitant, the stød isn't pronounced enough, the g not smelted into an l or the t is heard
  • You know anything else than a Danish diploma cannot have any value
  • You say Skål at every sip because you can't find anything else to say
  • You dance around the christmas tree singing carols
  • You consider anyone who has bought property and sold it on at a profit to be a "shark" and thus a fair target for all sorts of negative comments and bad feelings!
  • You don't check for other pedestrians behind you before you stop in a crowded street.
  • You don't really want things to go TOO well for anyone, unless they make you proud of being from Denmark.
  • You can say rød grød med fløde, Blåbærsyltetøj, and Angstskrig.
  • You are not surprised to have the closing door slam you in the face if following too closely behind somebody. Why should you hold the door for someone else?!?
  • You know the rules of handball!
  • You think its okay to walk away from a conversation without excusing yourself
  • You, every time you're in an awkward silence, have the urge to say "jo-jooooo..."
  • You consider spending more than 30 minutes on a bike and/or bus/train to get to school totally normal
  • You no longer freak out about getting to the train station in plenty of time because you know that DSB will be late anyway
  • You plan your trips allowing plenty of time for the DSB train you're on which will undoubtedly be late
  • You can't remember what a party without alcohol is like
  • You no longer have the urge to stand up and dance at a club or a party until you have consumed large amounts of alcohol
  • You have given up all hope of finding any logic in the pronunciation of the Danish language
  • You feel comfortable laughing at jokes about Swedes
  • You find the idea that somewhere in the world there are "no-smoking" signs in restaurants, train stations, etc, foreign
  • You think it is interesting to discuss the pronunciation of the words håndklæde (towel), hindbær (raspberries), sort (black) and hjort (deer)
  • You think it's perfectly fine too steal a bike if you're drunk enough
  • You believe that the days of the week are named after the nothern mythology
  • You think it is normal being paid 90 kr. a hour for working at a supermarket
  • You only refer football clubs by their initials
  • You hate everyone from the other side of Bæltet
  • You consider the Island of Funen (Fyn) to be a speedbump
  • You can bakke snagvendt (altså snakke bagvendt)
  • You have completely forgotten the concept of twist-off bottle caps
  • Tipping waiters/barstaff/taxi drivers seems overly gratuitous
  • You have forgotten the meaning of the word "gratuitous"
  • You complain about only having 5 weeks of vacation a year
  • You no longer notice the noxious gasses given off by the cheese in your fridge
  • You no longer notice all the windmills
  • You think it normal for there to be over 10 political parties to choose from
  • You for that matter, think it normal for 'Venstre' to be a right-wing party
  • You know your teacher, doctor and/or in-laws by their first names
  • You like to think the fact that the Queen is a chain-smoker makes her 'down-to-earth'
  • When making a right-hand turn while driving, you habitually check over your shoulder for bicyclists
  • You find yourself reading the subtitles even when watching something in english
  • You no longer consider joining Scouts to be completely geeky
  • You have given up trying to find a radio station with good music
  • You buy a hot dog with a credit card
  • You find it normal that shops close earlier on weekends
  • You find girls with a beer belly attractive
  • You have an insurance on your bike
  • You trash any leftovers
  • You answer calls by saying your name (which confuses people abroad)
  • You start to MISS an openly corrupt government
  • You take your wallet to a private party
  • You fill your own car with petrol
  • You pack your own groceries
  • You consider it a BAD idea unless it was agreed upon by the "group"
  • You never say "Thank You" to the bus driver for driving you all around the city
  • You no longer find this list funny - just painfully true!
  • You love all Norwegians.
Start the Conversation