What's New On The DVR - Fall TV

I recorded the pilot to Fringe last night, but haven't yet watched it.  So far, there's only been two fall shows that I've been watching:

Terminator - The Sarah Conner Chronicles, Season 2

The first season moved way to slow, and it doesn't look like that trend is going to end with season 2.  I was actually quite a bit disappointed with the season opener, but the last 10 seconds made me yell "THAT is how you end an episode."  I'm interested to see what they do with the existing and new villains on the show.  I'd still like to know what's up with Summer Glau's Chickinator.  I guarantee you that they don't reveal too much there.

Wipeout

Technically this isn't a new show, either, as there were a handful of episodes last season.  Basically, the show is an obstacle course, where different contestants try to complete each section in the least amount of time.  While Ninja Warrior might come to mind, it's more like MXC (see below) without being racist against Japanese people.  Each stage is pretty tough, but it's more about humiliating the people that try to get through the course.  They get hit in the nuts, dumped into mud, and do about a dozen face plants en route to the final stage.  The commentary, by SportsCenter host John Anderson and former Talk Soup host John Hanson, as well as the wonderful use of replay make this show the funniest damn thing on TV right now.

MXC
  

On a semi-related note, I watched all three seasons of the web series Wainy Days with David Wain.  It's about his attempts at finding the right girl, whether that be to marry or just bang.  It's off-the-wall, kind of stupid, but undoubtedly hilarious.  Each episode is only 5 minutes long, so you can plow through a season in under an hour.  It's free, check it out.

Wainy Days, Episode 4
  

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I Challenge Diddy (or Midnight Brown) To Sample Battletoads

In the Angry Videogame Nerd's ravaging of Battletoads, he makes fun of the pause music from Battletoads (see youtube vid below).  I always thought the music was badass.  I think it's high time that we get some East Coast rappers, some West Coast rappers, and some homies from the ATL to take this beat and run with it.

Of course, if Midnight Brown wanted to have at it, that'd be cool, too.

  
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Texas Flood In Rock Band!? Wheee!

Harmonix broke their slate of albums for the rest of the year - they said that six albums would come out in 2008 before Rush's "Moving Pictures" was announced - and there really is something for everyone.  I'm a huge Stevie Ray Vaughan fan, so I'm very stoked about Texas Flood.  The others are awesome, too:

Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble - "Texas Flood"
Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Blood Sugar Sex Magik"
Foo Fighters - "The Colour And The Shape"
Megadeth - "Peace Sells...But Who's Buying"
Jane's Addiction - "Nothing's Shocking"

No word on release dates or pricing, and there's also a Best of No Doubt pack coming.  SWEET!

P.S.  Here are the lyrics to RHCP's Sir Psycho Sexy, which I seriously doubt will make it into the game.  You may be able to filter out random bad words and make a song work, but this entire song is about fucking:

A long, long, long, long time ago
Before the wind, before the snow
Lived a man, lived a man I know
Lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho

Sir Psycho Sexy that is me
Sometimes I find I need to scream

He's a freak of nature
But we love him so
He's a freak of nature
But we let him go

Deep inside the garden of Eden
Standing there with my hard-on bleedin'
Theres a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen
Good God no that would be treason
Believe me Eve she gave good reason
Botty looking too good not to be squeezin'
Creamy beaver hotter than a fever
I'm a givin' 'cause she's the receiver
I won't and I don't hang up until I please her
Makin' her feel like an over-achiever
I take it away for a minute just to tease her
Then I give it back a little bit deeper

(chorus)

Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yea
he's the man that I met one time

Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yea
he's the man that left me blind

Sir Psycho Sir Psycho yea
he's the man he's the man he's the man

He's a freak of nature
But we love him so
He's a freak of nature
But we let him go

I got stopped by a lady cop
In my automobile
She said get out and spread your legs
And then she tried to cop a feel
That cop she was all dressed in blue
Was she pretty? Boy I'm tellin' you
She stuck my butt with her big black stick
I said, "What's up? Now suck my dick!"
Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb
She whimpered just a little when she felt my ham
On her crotch so very warm
I could feel her getting wet through her uniform
Proppin' her up on the black and white
Unzipped and slipped "ooh that's tight"
I swatted her like no swat team can
Turned a cherry pie right into jam

(chorus)

Hello young woman that I love
Pretty punk rock mama that I'm thinking of
Hold me naked if you will
In your arms in your legs in your pussy I'd kill
To be with you, to kiss with you, I do miss you
I love you

Lay me down...
Descending waves of graceful pleasure
For your love there is no measure
Her curves they bend with subtle splendor

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the funk will make me freak
If I should die before I waked
Allow me Lord to rock out naked
Bored by the ordinary time to take a trip
Calling up a little girl with a bull whip
Lickity split go snap "shnap"
Girl gettin' off all in my lap
The tallest tree the sweetest sap
Blowin' my ass right off the map
Ooo and it's nice out here
I think I'll stay for a while

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On XBLA and The F'n Phillies!

Microsoft really isn't kidding about this being the "Summer of Xbox Live Arcade."  I'd acquired a handful of games over the first six months of getting a 360, but I've picked up three in the last month, and am thinking about grabbing Catan.

I finished Braid last night, and am still amazed at the polish and devilish simplicity of the game design.  Everyone on this site has heard enough about it, and I don't have much to add, but I will say that I was disappointed that I beat it so quickly; it took me three sessions to clear it out.  A few of the puzzles in levels 4, 5, and 6 were difficult for me, but I still figured them out relatively quickly.  While I don't know that I got my full 1200 MS points out of the game, I hope that my purchasing the game will ultimately help show other independent designers that they can craft a masterpiece and make some money on XBLA, thus enticing them to try it.  I really hope that Jonathan Blow makes some good cash from Braid.

I'm still grinding through Puzzle Quest, and it definitely feels like grinding at this point.  There are few normal enemies that can beat me, and I usually only struggle during item crafting or boss fights.  I think the appeal has worn off, but I'll keep at it.  The real competition is my girlfriend.  She kicks my ass at that game.  I think it likes her better.

I've been attempting to improve my scores in Geometry Wars 2, but have only made progress on Pacifism.  Wilkins III owns four top spots from my friends list (I hold the top spot for Pacifism and King).  I don't know that I'll top 7.5 million in Deadline or 45 million in Sequence, but I'm not far behind in Waves and I could get a lucky round of Evolved.  I hate Waves so much.

Lastly, I've been recording the last half of Reaper's first season, because I missed the finale.  Last night was supposed to be the finale, but the fucking Phillies game went into extra innings!  Damn it!  Guess it's off to Bittorrent.

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"Oh yeah THAT game"

The one thing I really enjoy about Giant Bomb is sort of floating around the site, being taken to all kinds of different pages that I normally wouldn't see.  Typically, that results in plenty of wiki points, like when I ran across the, then empty, Parodius page.  The same thing happened to me today when I ran afoul of a blank page for Revenant on the PC.  I remember finding that game in the bargain bin, so I picked it up.  It's not a great game by any stretch - it's just a Diablo clone - but it did have a few interesting ideas, and a pretty decent story.  Well, the story actually sucked, but the main character kept it interesting.

Next thing I know, I've got two paragraphs, a ton of concepts and related games, and 49 new wiki points.

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Value Gaming & Random Awesomeness

  • According to cheapassgamer.com, 1600 MS Points cards are on sale at Target again this week!  Last time I only picked up three, but as a Rock Band DLC whore, I'll probably need to get more this time.  The sale is a $20 card for $15, meaning that 80 MS point RB tracks actually cost 75c, and Braid will only wind up costing $11.25
  • Lastly, I picked up Burnout Paradise for $30 on Sunday.  Though I haven't gotten very far into it, I am digging how the game works.  I just need to figure out how to cause massive wrecks and line up tricks.  That sort of stuff comes with knowing the roads.
  • My buddy at work got a spam message entitled "Blair: I'm not gay, that's just my accent."  The e-mail itself was gibberish written in German, but that tagline was too damn funny.  I have no idea how my name got on a tagline to his e-mail.
  • Leaving off with something awesome: Rodrigo y Gabriela's cover of Stairway to Heaven.  Turns into pure insanity at the 2:45 mark.
      
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Rock Band 2 No Fail Mode + Real Guitar = Fun!

Though I can barely play anything on guitar, whenever I hear a great riff in Rock Band, I'll go look up the tab and try to recreate it on my own.  Sometimes, though, I can't get the rhythm down right away and need to hear the song a few more times.  Playing along with the mp3 is fine, but once I know the riff, I'd like to play along to the song without the guitar track getting in the way.  Since Rock Band 2 will have a no-fail option, I'll finally have a way to play the other tracks to the song, and just strip out the guitar.  I'm looking forward to that.

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