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sku

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S-Ranks?

Full disclosure: I did not join this site when S-Ranks were a thing. I just hear word that they were catalogued as such. That being said, I'll share everything I have on record as having all achievements unlocked or trophies earned! Like Mento's wonderful list I'll give a difficulty and regret score because if there's one thing I like, it's pointless categorization.

List items

  • DIFFICULTY: 2/5

    REGRET: 1/5

    I love this game's style. Getting A-ranks on every stage is no big hassle, and if you don't mind wrestling with the controls it's a nice time. I can see why people would dislike this game, though. I can see why the editor in chief of one Giant Bomb dot com would dislike this game.

  • DIFFICULTY: 4/5

    REGRET: 4/5

    When I set out to make this list, I thought this would be the game I got my dander up about. Somehow, I never factored in Sonic Unleashed, which leaves me with slightly less to yell about. Not that I can't--grinding the same stages over and over again is a slog, mission mode has some real shitty missions it throws at you, raising the ultimate Chao is an extreme timesink, Big the Cat levels in general--but really, it pales in comparison to what you have to do with some of the other games on this list.

    I only regret this slightly less than Sonic Unleashed because this has been a demon of mine, something that after the longest time I never truly completed... and in the end, it wasn't worth it.

  • DIFFICULTY: 1/5

    REGRET: 4/5

    We all need some City Connection in our lives. It's a hell of a game. The soundtrack is fresh. Most importantly, the Arcade Archives trophies are exceedingly easy to obtain. One thing leads to another, as they do.

  • DIFFICULTY: 1/5

    REGRET: 5/5

    Don't ask.

  • DIFFICULTY: 5/5

    REGRET: 4/5

    This motherfucker.

    Now, I like Sonic Unleashed. I won't defend every single thing it does, but I think at its core it's really... alright. But my good god, getting the platinum trophy is not a decision one can make lightly. You have to grind. You have to be the absolute best at this game. You have to play a stage that takes almost an hour if you don't know what you're doing a MINIMUM of four times. To what end? Hahaha, to what fucking end indeed.

    Can I swear on this website? I'm sorry if I can't.

  • DIFFICULTY: 3/5

    REGRET: 2/5

    Assassin's Creed has been in somewhat of a sophomore-type slump in recent years. The luster's dulled and what used to be a cool historical stab-em-up has become a map puke cleanup simulator. Syndicate is only sort of different in that the gameplay's fun and there's less clutter to clean up. Also: no multiplayer achievements! Thank Christ almighty!

    I didn't buy the DLC. Sorry, Aisha Tyler.

  • DIFFICULTY: 3/5

    REGRET: 5/5

    Putty Squad is an awful game made by horrible people and if you get a platinum in it like I did then you are out of your goddamned mind.

  • DIFFICULTY: 3/5

    REGRET: 5/5

    FULL DISCLOSURE: I am missing precisely one trophy: getting to a certain rank in, well, Ranked. Why do I count this as finished, then? Because quite frankly it's as finished as it can be, and with Tekken 7 on the horizon I doubt the Tag 2 servers will be up for much longer. My regret score is only as high as it is because I should have dedicated myself to the game far earlier than I ended up doing.

  • DIFFICULTY: 2/5

    REGRET: 4/5

    This game is goofy and cute and all, but it's got an easy platinum that quite frankly I don't believe I deserve to call an achievement. Because it's a trophy. Hee hee.

  • DIFFICULTY: 5/5

    REGRET: 1/5

    Ah, the crown jewel in my trophy case. Like Dark Souls 3, a lot of people have this platinum, but the difference between that and Bloodborne's is that the latter requires real, actual skill and perseverance, rather than the kind of iron will that lets you play the game 7 different times. Fun fact: I was watching one Brad Shoemaker attempt the same platinum as I was going for it myself. I beat the dog before he did.

    THE OLD HUNTERS

    DIFFICULTY: 5/5

    REGRET: 1/5

    I also cleaned up the DLC! It's hard as hell! Orphan of Kos is awful! Ludwig is somehow worse!

  • DIFFICULTY: 4/5

    REGRET: 4/5

    Oh, look, a Souls game! Who'd have thought. Dark Souls 3 is fun, and I liked playing it a lot. Specifically, I liked playing it for the first couple playthroughs. After I committed to platinuming it, though, it was an absolute chore. Unlike a certain other Souls game I'm about to get to, this game's completion checklist is an actual, no-nonsense checklist. Every spell, every ring, every EVERYTHING and for what? Literally nothing except a system notification and bragging rights. And everybody who plays this got the platinum, too, so it means literally nothing.

  • DIFFICULTY: 4/5

    REGRET: 2/5

    Beating the main game with top marks isn't the problem with this one. It's doing everything else. Some of the side missions are real, REAL aggravating (looking squarely at Vector the Crocodile on this one) and some of the miscellaneous achievement-only missions are just... the worst. Beating the final boss without getting hit was a shitter. The worst part? I tried going back to this game about a month ago and I didn't like it. S-ranked, but at what cost?

  • DIFFICULTY: 4/5

    REGRET: 5/5

    Let's start with this, because of course I platinumed Knack, of COURSE I did. Knack isn't the worst game. It's not great, and I wouldn't really consider it good. It's passable. It's competent. Getting all there is to get in Knack is a goddamned chore. The worst of it is grinding chests with random drops and, if you don't get the right one, reloading your save time after agonizing time until you get every single Knack there is to get. Not to mention that the game is already tough enough as is on its standard mode--the harder modes are BRUTAL. At least I can say I did it. For what it's worth.

  • DIFFICULTY: 4/5

    REGRET: 3/5

    There's something about Sega game rereleases, man. Sonic Adventure 2, ever the fan-favorite, gets to be real bullshit if you try to A-rank every single thing in the game, and your reward? It's just Green Hill Zone. Don't bother. It's still not a TERRIBLE game, just only sort of.

  • DIFFICULTY: 3/5

    REGRET: 1/5

    I hear word that a lot of people consider this the best 2D Sonic game. I agree! Sonic CD is a hell of a game, and I didn't mind completionisting it at all. I think the hardest thing to do is a tie between blitzing time trials in under 20 minutes combined or busting every robot maker and Metal Sonic hologram in every level, which is more busywork than anything.

  • DIFFICULTY: 4/5

    REGRET: 2/5

    Moving on to Steam games--and say what you will about the value of a Steam achievement--and here's one that was on the whole pretty fun to clean house in! There were definitely some real bastards of achievements in there, not that I can remember specifics offhand, but JSR is still pretty great.

  • DIFFICULTY: 3/5

    REGRET: 3/5

    I love the hell out of some Meteos. This is not, in fact, a good port of Meteos. Without a stylus and a touch screen, the game becomes so much clunkier and way less fast-paced, which works against the core tenets of what made Meteos so danged good in the first place. As it happens, though, I wasn't a picky young man, so I spent my time with this and did all I could do. Not worth the 200G.

  • DIFFICULTY: 4/5

    REGRET: 3/5

    See above as to my thoughts re: these LEGO games. This one's a little more embarrassing, though, because it's the dang Hobbit. Also: it was kind of a pain to complete all the way? A big hub world and a lot of fetch questing to do.

  • DIFFICULTY: 3/5

    REGRET: 2/5

    In the grand scheme of things, Traveler's Tales' LEGO games are easy to finish. It takes time to finish them, but there are by no means brick walls of difficulty to overcome in order to claim the spoils of war. LEGO Marvel Super Heroes is no different. It's a fun time, though--these games usually are--so if you're that godforsaken soul in 2016 who still hunts for achievements, here's an easy 1000G!

  • DIFFICULTY: 1/5

    REGRET: 5/5

    Look. We all have these games that we play for easy achievements. Some folks have that Avatar game. I have Microsoft Mahjong.

  • DIFFICULTY: 2/5

    REGRET: 1/5

    I'm only giving this a higher difficulty than its prequel because Tooie's a real motherfucker.

  • DIFFICULTY: 1/5

    REGRET: 1/5

    Both this and Banjo-Tooie have some pitifully easy achievements that basically just serve as a retelling of your journey, if that. I still like these two games, though, so no hard feelings.

  • DIFFICULTY: 2/5

    REGRET: 1/5

    To my credit, I didn't do that good old GWFL trick that I heard about. This was 100% legit on the 360, and it's one of the earliest 1000G I've ever earned. I never got around to completing, much less purchasing the DLC, but I don't really plan on going back to this game and I can live with it.