First entries are always awkward. It’s kind of like sex. There’s this unusual pressure to be entertaining from the outset, but you don’t want to blow your best moves on the introduction. Before you know it you just end up over-analysing the whole affair and it turns out rubbish.
You’re pretty sure you were doing it wrong anyway.
So what's all this about then? Well, sex jokes aside, I'm Joseph, a 20 year old gamer-come-student-come-writer-come-vagabond hailing from the glorious mass of floating land that is Great Britain -- which of course means that, yes, I only drink tea, have dreadful dental hygiene, regularly ride around on penny-farthings to the tune of Benny Hill and personally know the queen. Well, three out of four isn't bad.
But wait! A writer, you say? My dear Joseph, what kind of writer?! Lord knows there's millions! And Lord would be right, dear Narrator. But me? I'm a screenwriter, which is basically just a rather pretentious way of saying I write films. Or, y'know, for the screen. Don't you love it when stuff clicks together like that? I love it when stuff clicks together like that.
Now, enough exposition; what say we get down to business and start talking about the real reason I'm here? Games! I was brought up on the Mega Drive with my older brother, and over the years have owned everything from Game Gear's to Xbox's. These days I'm rocking a standard 360-PS3 set up, a glorious win-win situation not too dissimilar from World War II if Hitler had decided he wasn't all that angry at the Jews after all and took them out for ice cream and crumpets instead. Dare I even call it a union of bliss.
Yet with such a union comes the inevitable 'favourite game' conundrum -- a conundrum which, I'm afraid, I'm still yet unable to answer. One minute it'll be Grim Fandango, the next Final Fantasy X. And then when I've convinced myself that it is FFX, I'll remember all the unbridled joy I had playing Mass Effect the first time through and be right back at square one. Seriously, anyone who can answer that question with a definitive answer is some sort of wizard. I doubt I could even manage a top ten.
Harry Potter, I am not.
And now, because I'm sure you're all delightfully interested (and totally not because I've run out of things to say), here're a few random facts about me: I'm a tad on the short side at 5'6". I'm laughably afraid of spiders. My lucky number is twenty-two. I tend to fall in love with every pretty girl who shows me the slightest bit of attention. I regularly attempt to drink copious amounts of alcohol even though I shouldn't. I love the word 'copious' and wish I had the opportunity to use it more often. I possess an unhealthy addiction to Wikipedia. I have a habit of rambling on incoherently when nervous or uncomfortable. I pretend to text to defuse awkward situations. I secretly wish I could play the guitar. And I like long walks on the beach, candle-lit dinners and literary clichés.
Apparently I also like saying 'I' a lot.
That about sums it up for now. Hopefully I'll start blogging properly over the coming days/weeks/months, and I'll even try and drop a post or two over at the forums sometime. So, what I guess I'm trying to say in a really long-winded-kind-of-way is -- hi, Giant Bomb. It's nice to meet you.
Now, must dash; I've luncheon with Elizabeth at noon. Toodles!