By soulmanim3 0 Comments
I've never written a blog post before so I hope I can these thoughts out correctly. Be gentle.
The news of Ryan's passing took me, like everyone else, by complete surprise. I came home from working another long day filled with aiding people who need me and putting out the fires my industry brings. I sat down with a beer and fired up Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen. I usually listen to something Giantbomb related to pass the time while grinding and completing yet another fetch quest. I don't know why, but I never visited the site on Monday until it was almost time for bed. The news on the front page backed over me like an Interview Dump Truck at E3. I ran upstairs to relay the news to my wife who is also oddly passionate about this "dumb" site. Sadly, a quick Google search confirmed that this was not the joke that the Bomb Squad finally took too far. Our hearts and minds immediately felt sadness for Anna, Jeff, and the rest of team.
I knew I was sad and I thought I knew why I should be sad as well; however, I couldn't find the words to properly express the weight of the loss without sounding absurdly selfish . The hours of spent thinking about this since reading the news have been enlightening. The loss of Ryan Davis is profoundly saddening. I am more sad still for Anna. We are always told to never take the ones you love for granted, but the routine of life always causes us to the very thing we are told not to do. We can never know the hour or day when we will be forced to come to grips with saying goodbye to a spouse. The thought of losing my spouse and best friend of eight years is almost crippling. I am forced to acknowledge just how selfish life makes us. I constantly take the amazing blessing of my wife for granted. All I could do was hug her when we heard the terrible news. I recall telling her that she's not allowed to go anywhere. She, being much wiser than I, reminded me that we don't get to take that decision; however, she affirmed me with the reminder that every day we had would always be worthwhile and special. I take some solace in knowing that Ryan passed during the happiest week of his life, but it makes the weight of the reality that much harder to understand.
Selfishly, I know the content I've come to rely upon to help gather the strength to give to the people who need me has been irreversibly changed. I recall a similar selfish feeling when 1UP collapsed in 2009. However, being sad on this level alone would be incredibly shallow - not learning anything from this experience would be equally tragic. Here is what I've taken away from this event: Stop taking the beautiful gift who sits next to you day in and day out for granted. You can never know when life will change forever. Hug them, laugh with them, and/or just call them for no other reason than to just hear their voice because you just never know. At the risk of being too cliche, I hope I can finally practice what I preach. Ultimately, my wife (or that special person for you) is more important than the junk that keeps me from investing in her life.
Giantbomb will continue to thrive. This site and this community is led by the most talented people in the industry. I am proud to be a premium member of this site! However, life will continue to march forward whether we like it or not. The real question can't be how to move forward; rather, what will we do to make sure what we have learned from this experience isn't wasted. Tonight, I'm leaving work early. There will always be more work waiting for me somewhere. I'd rather just be with my amazing wife while I have her.
Truth told, it will be some time before I can go back through the amazingly deep catalog of Ryan Davis' portfolio. Seeing Ryan's big chair broke me as much as the ending of the most recent podcast. Thank you all so much for the countless hours of entertainment you provide us. My dumb words cannot do justice to the last 5 years. This fiercely loyal community will be here to support you all when you are comfortable coming back to the set. In the meantime, we'll continue to celebrate Ryan for who he was and all he accomplished personally and professionally. I think I'm going to go call my wife at work. Rest in peace Ryan Davis.