Horrible Things I Do -- 5/11/2011

   

Alright! I've been told by a few people (JJWeatherman and PsEG, specifically) to start blogging. JJ even went as far to make a banner for this. He's just that dedicated, I guess. That's cool, right? Anyways, I'm not sure if this'll be a useless weekly/bi-weekly/monthly/bi-monthly feature from myself. Or maybe one of those magical once-in-a-blue moon details, hell, I dunno. I'm not a writer. Or punctual, get off my back, homie. But if this goes poorly? I have scapegoats.

Anyways, this should be pretty magical. Like simple dog of Hyperbole and a Half fame! She can make her own food so she never goes hungry!

Pink lemonade puke, it's magically delicious! 

...Anyways. I'm going to do be doing things that would normally make people pull their hair out or question whatever it is that they are doing. What will be the first thing I dive into that is horrible and something I don't understand. Reading a Princess Diana manga. You can read along with me, it'll be great! And you get to read backwards, if you weren't aware of that! Top right to bottom left, but you read the text like you would normally, top left to bottom right. IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. SO MUCH SENSE.

Princess Diana

It's not too bad, I guess. I mean, Japanese people love people who aren't them, right? At least Prince Charles knows what he likes.

Magic is the new Puberty. 

"My body! It's changing!"
"...I'm a wizard. And that looks fucked up."
Magic is what is causing poor self esteem in young people, not hormones! Mystery solved.
They go through a brief awkward flirting stage, considering he was out to see her sister and Diana's sister was all "Nah, girrrrrrrrrrrl, I ain't want him as mymaaaaaaan." Di swoons and has this brief dancing fantasy. I like to call it dantasy. Or fancing, even!

Uh... 
I don't know about you, but when I dance with people, my eyes don't become soulless. And there is also no-wait, the shit is he doing with his leg? Diana, you so saucy!

I honestly can't read this because the English is so so so bad. (Or good, great, wonderful!~) But Charles visits the Spencer Manor to invite Diana's sister as a date/guest to a party. Diana is chosen instead and she stands there all awkward like any 17 year old girl who was blown off by her date and instead of saying anything, she is gossiped about for being a young'n and just stares at Charles as he dances with another. She gets all worked up because he's not returning her secret schoolgirl-love crush. And she has another brief moment of daydreaming time. He smiles while still dancing with this other woman(?).

 His eyes, he's so beautiful! Dem eyelashes, splendid!

I imagine this woman cackling like a witch and flapping off into the sunset. And while I'm giggling over this and she is mentally insulting the young Diana about not having a dance partner, this guy in a fly ass jacket appears:

 Why, hello, young lady. I have a fly ass gentleman's jacket.
The woman of the previous page is all angry and jealous, but as soon as this rather fly ass homie asks Diana to dance, she exclaims how she's afraid! So very afraid. And has had no experience... Dancing. She ends up dancing all over the entire ballroom, causing flowers to rain from the sky and make everything sparkle, shimmer, and shine. The other attendants are all flabbergasted and all "GIRRRL, WAT YOU DOIN'? NUH-UH, GIRL." So far, I don't like any of the characters we've seen. Unless Fly Ass Gentleman's Jacket is a character. But, hey, this manga has CLICHÉD ROMANTIC SETUPS. WHAT A TWEEST. After displaying our young-princess-to-be as a delightful piece of dancing lady meat, everyone at the party drops what they're doing, Charles ditches his original partner, Caramello. Wait, no, that's me being groggy. Her name isn't Caramello, but it should be! Then she'd be my favorite. And tasty. But anyways, girl dun get ditched, her eyes are void of color and her heart fills with rage. Diana goes to thank man in the Fly Ass Gentleman's Jacket (FAGJ is a character now, don't give a shit) before he disappears, but he's gone regardless. She knows nothing on his name and Charles pounces her on the dancefloor. You're so impatient.

Because I'm reading this over a scan service, I get adverts! From people who buy manga solely to rip the book apart and scan it for saps like me. *Shrug* Whatevs.

...Charles, don't act surprised that you know how she dances better than you thought. We all know what you really mean by that. Yeah. On to you. You're really talking about how she dances better than you! He says how he can't believe how all the Spencer girls are all good dancers. I feel like he's trying to say something else... IS THIS WHY DIANA'S SISTER BLEW YOU OFF? FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF DRAGON BALL Z. Okay. Diana explains how when she is at home, she likes to watch her sister perform in the living room. And she stares silently, jealous of her graceful posture. Charlie, boy, the look on your face. It made me stop this before I get too far into this. I'd say I don't like any of these characters and wouldn't mind watching them suffer... But I know better than that. I read the ending first, that's how I knew. (Actually, I didn't. These are jokes I'm trying to make. I haven't had certain people around to make my jokes look good.)

Moving on, look what else I've been doing!

Mindjolt - Three Towers Solitare

I just started this Facebook game earlier this week. Why? ...I don't know. Maybe it's because that prince looks totally irresistible.

I wish my skin was half as flawless. 
This game actually isn't too bad. Why? Because I'm kicking my mom's ass! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...This is bad. I'm playing solely to attack my mother's score. Does this make me a bad child? No? Okay.

Twitter - Food Confessions

Earlier today, I made a comment about how I prefer to have

Cooked Spinach! 
...instead of...

Ice Cream! 
Then my sanity was put into question. Various friends and Giant Bomb users did not hesitate to call me insane. So what do I do?

I rattle off more foods I don't care for: milk, candy, most donuts, bologna, burritos, Mountain Dew, cherries, and grapes.

Newten, being a foodporndaily sort of guy, was one of the first to really snap. Oopsie. But you know what, maybe what I do isn't that terrible. JJWeatherman doesn't like lasagna, or Sweep! No longer a man. I killed grapes for another member by comparing them to eyeballs and one went as far as to say I deserved a banning! But what if I don't like toast? I can't be toast. Son-of-a-bitch. The things I do. D:

...And to think I was doing this as a way to avoid other things I could be doing. Like playing Brink!

The worst thing I've done to myself? Writing a blog. Why...

Yep. Text Thing. I did it. Do it again, though? Maybe no. But I did use the banner made for me.

So now I won't feel as awful if I never touch it again! :D
19 Comments
19 Comments
Posted by Sparklykiss
   

Alright! I've been told by a few people (JJWeatherman and PsEG, specifically) to start blogging. JJ even went as far to make a banner for this. He's just that dedicated, I guess. That's cool, right? Anyways, I'm not sure if this'll be a useless weekly/bi-weekly/monthly/bi-monthly feature from myself. Or maybe one of those magical once-in-a-blue moon details, hell, I dunno. I'm not a writer. Or punctual, get off my back, homie. But if this goes poorly? I have scapegoats.

Anyways, this should be pretty magical. Like simple dog of Hyperbole and a Half fame! She can make her own food so she never goes hungry!

Pink lemonade puke, it's magically delicious! 

...Anyways. I'm going to do be doing things that would normally make people pull their hair out or question whatever it is that they are doing. What will be the first thing I dive into that is horrible and something I don't understand. Reading a Princess Diana manga. You can read along with me, it'll be great! And you get to read backwards, if you weren't aware of that! Top right to bottom left, but you read the text like you would normally, top left to bottom right. IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. SO MUCH SENSE.

Princess Diana

It's not too bad, I guess. I mean, Japanese people love people who aren't them, right? At least Prince Charles knows what he likes.

Magic is the new Puberty. 

"My body! It's changing!"
"...I'm a wizard. And that looks fucked up."
Magic is what is causing poor self esteem in young people, not hormones! Mystery solved.
They go through a brief awkward flirting stage, considering he was out to see her sister and Diana's sister was all "Nah, girrrrrrrrrrrl, I ain't want him as mymaaaaaaan." Di swoons and has this brief dancing fantasy. I like to call it dantasy. Or fancing, even!

Uh... 
I don't know about you, but when I dance with people, my eyes don't become soulless. And there is also no-wait, the shit is he doing with his leg? Diana, you so saucy!

I honestly can't read this because the English is so so so bad. (Or good, great, wonderful!~) But Charles visits the Spencer Manor to invite Diana's sister as a date/guest to a party. Diana is chosen instead and she stands there all awkward like any 17 year old girl who was blown off by her date and instead of saying anything, she is gossiped about for being a young'n and just stares at Charles as he dances with another. She gets all worked up because he's not returning her secret schoolgirl-love crush. And she has another brief moment of daydreaming time. He smiles while still dancing with this other woman(?).

 His eyes, he's so beautiful! Dem eyelashes, splendid!

I imagine this woman cackling like a witch and flapping off into the sunset. And while I'm giggling over this and she is mentally insulting the young Diana about not having a dance partner, this guy in a fly ass jacket appears:

 Why, hello, young lady. I have a fly ass gentleman's jacket.
The woman of the previous page is all angry and jealous, but as soon as this rather fly ass homie asks Diana to dance, she exclaims how she's afraid! So very afraid. And has had no experience... Dancing. She ends up dancing all over the entire ballroom, causing flowers to rain from the sky and make everything sparkle, shimmer, and shine. The other attendants are all flabbergasted and all "GIRRRL, WAT YOU DOIN'? NUH-UH, GIRL." So far, I don't like any of the characters we've seen. Unless Fly Ass Gentleman's Jacket is a character. But, hey, this manga has CLICHÉD ROMANTIC SETUPS. WHAT A TWEEST. After displaying our young-princess-to-be as a delightful piece of dancing lady meat, everyone at the party drops what they're doing, Charles ditches his original partner, Caramello. Wait, no, that's me being groggy. Her name isn't Caramello, but it should be! Then she'd be my favorite. And tasty. But anyways, girl dun get ditched, her eyes are void of color and her heart fills with rage. Diana goes to thank man in the Fly Ass Gentleman's Jacket (FAGJ is a character now, don't give a shit) before he disappears, but he's gone regardless. She knows nothing on his name and Charles pounces her on the dancefloor. You're so impatient.

Because I'm reading this over a scan service, I get adverts! From people who buy manga solely to rip the book apart and scan it for saps like me. *Shrug* Whatevs.

...Charles, don't act surprised that you know how she dances better than you thought. We all know what you really mean by that. Yeah. On to you. You're really talking about how she dances better than you! He says how he can't believe how all the Spencer girls are all good dancers. I feel like he's trying to say something else... IS THIS WHY DIANA'S SISTER BLEW YOU OFF? FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF DRAGON BALL Z. Okay. Diana explains how when she is at home, she likes to watch her sister perform in the living room. And she stares silently, jealous of her graceful posture. Charlie, boy, the look on your face. It made me stop this before I get too far into this. I'd say I don't like any of these characters and wouldn't mind watching them suffer... But I know better than that. I read the ending first, that's how I knew. (Actually, I didn't. These are jokes I'm trying to make. I haven't had certain people around to make my jokes look good.)

Moving on, look what else I've been doing!

Mindjolt - Three Towers Solitare

I just started this Facebook game earlier this week. Why? ...I don't know. Maybe it's because that prince looks totally irresistible.

I wish my skin was half as flawless. 
This game actually isn't too bad. Why? Because I'm kicking my mom's ass! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...This is bad. I'm playing solely to attack my mother's score. Does this make me a bad child? No? Okay.

Twitter - Food Confessions

Earlier today, I made a comment about how I prefer to have

Cooked Spinach! 
...instead of...

Ice Cream! 
Then my sanity was put into question. Various friends and Giant Bomb users did not hesitate to call me insane. So what do I do?

I rattle off more foods I don't care for: milk, candy, most donuts, bologna, burritos, Mountain Dew, cherries, and grapes.

Newten, being a foodporndaily sort of guy, was one of the first to really snap. Oopsie. But you know what, maybe what I do isn't that terrible. JJWeatherman doesn't like lasagna, or Sweep! No longer a man. I killed grapes for another member by comparing them to eyeballs and one went as far as to say I deserved a banning! But what if I don't like toast? I can't be toast. Son-of-a-bitch. The things I do. D:

...And to think I was doing this as a way to avoid other things I could be doing. Like playing Brink!

The worst thing I've done to myself? Writing a blog. Why...

Yep. Text Thing. I did it. Do it again, though? Maybe no. But I did use the banner made for me.

So now I won't feel as awful if I never touch it again! :D
Moderator
Posted by Claude

I heard that facebook games take your soul. Unlike WoW which is the devil so I've heard, facebook games leave your soul in limbo.

Edited by Sparklykiss
@Claude: I'm working on my fruit farm. Peaches, oranges, bananas, apples, and avocados. Spam invites to all my friends. Still soulless? ...Probably.
Moderator
Posted by Sweep

JJ loves me really, he just doesn't like it when I'm inside his mouth.


Speaking of things being in peoples mouths, I am now hungry for spinach. So thanks for that.



This is a great blog! Keep up the good work :D
Moderator
Posted by Sparklykiss
@Sweep: I think if you ate less red meat and more peaches 'n cream, you'd be sweeter for everyone! (Ew, I just said that.) At this rate, I should have kept everything in the spinach board, I'm such a failure.
If I had known, Sweep, I would have saved you some instead of eating all of it, om nom nom.


Really? You crazy, but alright. :D
Moderator
Edited by Underachiever007

You should keep this up. It was entertaining. :D

Posted by WoodenPlatypus


Im glad JJ encouraged you to write a blog. It was amusing, especially when talking about the Princess Diana manga. Made me laugh at an arkward part during Criminal Minds and now my sister thinks I was laughing at a pregnant woman being killed :|

 

So em, good read :D

Posted by JJWeatherman
@Sweep: Sorry Sweep, but I just don't want you inside me. Time to end the charade. I'd still like to be friends though. Ya know, if you wanna.  :P

Anyway, glad you wrote this blog, because it was amazing in a manic and crazy kind of way. But of course that's a good thing.

I can't say I support spinach over ice cream, playing Facebook games just to show up your mother, or reading Princess Diana Manga. But one thing I wouldn't hesitate to recommend is the linked  Hyperbole and a Half site. There's lots of fun stuff there. You guys should all check it out.

Oh yeah, and that's one sexy banner you have there.
Posted by Daniel_Newton

I see a link to FoodPornDaily, this blog gets my seal of approval.


Also, maybe you should try spinach ice cream?...
Posted by PatVB

It boggles the mind that someone purporting to be a human being can choose spinach over ice cream.

Posted by Godot

Hah, you got round to reading the Princess Diana manga I see.

Truly, there are some things we were never meant to understand.

Posted by SMTDante89

Truth be told, most of the food you mentioned that you don't like I don't like either or eat sparingly. 

Anyway, this was a fun little blog.  I say keep doing it, some fun and unexpected things could come out of this.

Posted by Daveyo520

NEVER listen to anything JJ has to say!

Posted by JJWeatherman
@Daveyo520 said:
" NEVER listen to anything JJ has to say! "
Hey! I say good things that are worth listening to on occasion!  :(
Posted by Sparklykiss
@WoodenPlatypus: Heh, better than laughing at something a lady said in a Lifetime movie. And then have your mom turn to you and say something along the lines "She's dead now. This was based on a true story. You are laughing at a real dead woman, Sparkly." D:

@Newten: Pfft, I've had green tea ice cream and shark meat before, why not.

@Godot: I knew I forgot credit somewhere. This is all your fault. >:(

@Daveyo520: I should work on that. This is all his fault. >:(

But, uh, thanks for reading or something, people. o.o;;
I reread stuff myself this morning and learned that I'm a babbling insane person. It was an adventure.

...Yep!
Moderator
Posted by Daniel_Newton
@Sparklykiss: Wait wait wait... shark meat or shark meat ice cream? Because I've eaten shark before, no big deal, but shark ice cream, that would be something to write home about.
Posted by Sparklykiss
@Newten: Word order: I'm good at it. Just shark meat. Baha. Although Dad has been wanting to try trout ice cream because of Earthbound and Iron Chef.

Oh. I've also had wasabi on ice cream. And bacon. All unknown before I ate it.
Moderator
Posted by Daniel_Newton
@Sparklykiss: I totally want to try bacon ice cream.
Posted by rybrad

I don't mind some spinach but damn that pic you used looks gross.