Horrible Things I Do -- 7/3/2011


There's a drumming noise inside my head. It fills my head up and gets louder and louder. (Seriously, this blog will be more enjoyable if you click that link and admire her dancing. (Or her red hair. (Or DEM LEGS.)))

Anyways...

Bugs

Let's just get this out there now: I don't like bugs, y'all. I hate them. They make me scream and writhe and shake with absolute terror, disgust, and agony. AKA, I am a weak-minded diva and tiny things with odd appendages just don't appeal to me. I have slaughtered enough ants in the past week to consider this a new career path for myself. As long as my uniform was a hazmat suit with the arms and legs rubber banded off. Oh, and if I get to take a torch to whatever little multi-legged freak I'm around at the time.

There was a spider scare when I was trying to participate in the Forza 3 Scrub League that turned into me yelling and being an angry bitch. I never found the bastard, but I do know that if those guys didn't hate me then, then BOY are they going to hate me now. I also had a pretty high amount of anxiety after all that as well... Considering that bastard was huge (by my standards, at least) and I saw a clump of hair on the floor and thought he was coming closer. NOT OKAY. HAIR WADS HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE LOOKIN' LIKE SPIDERS. Does not help that our very own artofwar420 Tweeted something rather traumatizing that is making me hate my life even more. (If you're of a weak deposition, aka me, don't click! (Or do click! I know telling people not to do something tempts them. SO CLICK THAT. AND HATE YOURSELF.))

Motivation

Or should I say my lack of. I'm enrolled in year-round online classes and I hit that wall where I just don't feel like I can do anything and it's all become pointless and I just get... Lazy. The job I had aimed at getting never happened, or at least, I never heard back after being told I'd be great for it. That was a few weeks back and it's insanely difficult to stay positive in a time like this, but dammit, I'm trying. I worry that I put too much time and heart into doing things for funsies, neglecting my real life responsibilities, and winding up sick, but my inability to focus and my lack of drive to accomplish anything after a few failures really puts a damper on how I view things. But, yep! Now to be a bit less serious again!

Yay, games! Those things that I play when I don't feel the urge to do anything else! That's positive, right? ...Right? Truth be told, I've played a lot of games recently, but these are the ones I remember the best and most vividly.

American McGee's Alice

I'm going to extend two giant birds in the direction of American McGee's Alice. My sister purchased Alice: Madness Returns recently. She's seen the entire first game played over a series of YouTube videos. I, had not. So I promptly decided to load up the first game and give it a go. It was all fine and dandy until I got to the Pool of Tears. I slipped off my leaf a few times and flipped the fuck out over the fish that were there. But that was okay. I could just reload to when I was on land and keep going, and NOT FUCK IT UP. But, hey, white girl here can't jump. So GUESS WHO WAS RELOADING A WHOLE LOT?

I eventually stumble into the Hollow Hideaway... A place with even more lilypads and those demon creatures I hate so much. I sorta of rushed through a lot just to be out of the damn water areas already and I slipped off my leaf. I thought, "No worries. I'll just bash the A button so that I stay above and rush over to that plot of land that I need to be at... Funny how lily pads are right here, though... It's like they don't want you to just swim like this over to the led-OHMYFUCKINGGOD. FUCK FUCK FUCK. OH. MY. FUCKING GOD, SHIT SHIT SHIT. FUCK. SHIT. BALLS." A giant fish rose up and ate me and that was the one thing I was avoiding. I thought if I hurried over that I wouldn't have to deal with that. But no. I was beyond wrong. Swimming after the turtle later on was my own personal hell. I was cruising along as calmly as I could possibly be, fish would chase me, I would panic, but I'd be over it after telling them to fuck off. But then I have to swim through a small portion of a tunnel. Turtle makes it on fine, juuust fine. I was right up his ass and what happens? Guess! Fucking guess! DEMON FISH POPS UP TO EAT ME. It missed, I said fuck this, paused, saved, and didn't play for a few more days. Eventually I picked it up again only to realize that if I stayed swimming for 30 more seconds I would've been done. OH WELL, FUCK IT. Got past the Mirror World and that's all I need. I don't give a fuck. Fuck fish, those slimy creepy bastards. You are only good for eating, asswipes. >:(

Halo Reach

I participated in a game night. I sucked. The end.

Champions Online

My sister has been addicted the moment this became a free game. I made a character and didn't touch it again until it was on Steam. I decided to tease my sister's style of play by making a new character with a slutty little costume. I set her stance to the beast one and didn't change it. So how did Skanky McSkankpants get around?

Why, on all fours of course! And no one told me how to change it for a good chunk of time. I selected my travel skill and that let me run on all fours at hyper speed! Ass in the air and anything! Took like... 2 more hours to find how to change it. Now I run like a regular skank who fights with a bow! Yay! The game is a tad bizarre, but it's worth a dabble in. I'm a bit more biased to when City of Heroes releases as a F2P. I want to be evil! I want to be a jerk! I want to throw dark.

Trenched

It's a game about love! Picked this up and hadn't played it 'til rather recently... Small part of me regrets that. I was missing out on the fabulous times I could have had sooner! That's not good! I'm terrible! I played with lovely people like pat4327, Matt, and Lemon. And less than desirable turd burgers like Babylonian and GlenTennis. ...But especially GlenTennis. >:( Sure, Intern Nick may be a bit (or a lot of) a hipster dorkface, but did you know he's racist? He's racist. And a fan of Sklarping. But at least he's not like Intern Ben... Trenched was a bucket of fun even though most of the time I was out of it and not ready for the game about love, but ah well! I played games and it was lovely. Until...

Raskulls

FUCK YOU, BEN. YOU FUCKING CHEATY MCUGHFACE URGH ARGH RAGE STOMPSTOMPSTOMP.

My sister joined in on this action and I swear to Yevon those two were secretly plotting against me. And they turned my jokes around on me the whole time. And cheated! Asshats. The both of them. Cheating, lying, filthy asshats! Makes me soo bitter.*

*I'm not bitter, but they are cheaters.

  

Despite all the ughface stuff and a bad game experience, I have had some nicer things happen.

Weight Loss

Won't give out too many specifics, but, uh, yeah! 9 lb drop over the course of a week! I really wasn't trying too hard which is the really surprising part. A bit of me thinks it's because I've been sick and my body is in "I hate you and want to give you false hope" mode, but fuck it! That's 9 pounds... GONE. I'm content.

Friendship, y'all!

Despite the slump and the not-so-great beginning to this year (HOLY FUCK, IT IS HALF OVER WITH NOW, SHIT) I've made a few great friends, some going out of their way to motivate and support me. It's surprising, flattering, and a bit of an honor to have gained these new people in my life. Nice to know I have some people to try and keep my humble and sane and sincerely care. I am such a fucking sap. :')

Um, and with that, I'm going to say I'm done writing for now. Thanks for reading, hopefully I wasn't too dull/insane/awkward/personal/typicalmeeep!

-Sparkly

20 Comments
20 Comments
Edited by Sparklykiss

There's a drumming noise inside my head. It fills my head up and gets louder and louder. (Seriously, this blog will be more enjoyable if you click that link and admire her dancing. (Or her red hair. (Or DEM LEGS.)))

Anyways...

Bugs

Let's just get this out there now: I don't like bugs, y'all. I hate them. They make me scream and writhe and shake with absolute terror, disgust, and agony. AKA, I am a weak-minded diva and tiny things with odd appendages just don't appeal to me. I have slaughtered enough ants in the past week to consider this a new career path for myself. As long as my uniform was a hazmat suit with the arms and legs rubber banded off. Oh, and if I get to take a torch to whatever little multi-legged freak I'm around at the time.

There was a spider scare when I was trying to participate in the Forza 3 Scrub League that turned into me yelling and being an angry bitch. I never found the bastard, but I do know that if those guys didn't hate me then, then BOY are they going to hate me now. I also had a pretty high amount of anxiety after all that as well... Considering that bastard was huge (by my standards, at least) and I saw a clump of hair on the floor and thought he was coming closer. NOT OKAY. HAIR WADS HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE LOOKIN' LIKE SPIDERS. Does not help that our very own artofwar420 Tweeted something rather traumatizing that is making me hate my life even more. (If you're of a weak deposition, aka me, don't click! (Or do click! I know telling people not to do something tempts them. SO CLICK THAT. AND HATE YOURSELF.))

Motivation

Or should I say my lack of. I'm enrolled in year-round online classes and I hit that wall where I just don't feel like I can do anything and it's all become pointless and I just get... Lazy. The job I had aimed at getting never happened, or at least, I never heard back after being told I'd be great for it. That was a few weeks back and it's insanely difficult to stay positive in a time like this, but dammit, I'm trying. I worry that I put too much time and heart into doing things for funsies, neglecting my real life responsibilities, and winding up sick, but my inability to focus and my lack of drive to accomplish anything after a few failures really puts a damper on how I view things. But, yep! Now to be a bit less serious again!

Yay, games! Those things that I play when I don't feel the urge to do anything else! That's positive, right? ...Right? Truth be told, I've played a lot of games recently, but these are the ones I remember the best and most vividly.

American McGee's Alice

I'm going to extend two giant birds in the direction of American McGee's Alice. My sister purchased Alice: Madness Returns recently. She's seen the entire first game played over a series of YouTube videos. I, had not. So I promptly decided to load up the first game and give it a go. It was all fine and dandy until I got to the Pool of Tears. I slipped off my leaf a few times and flipped the fuck out over the fish that were there. But that was okay. I could just reload to when I was on land and keep going, and NOT FUCK IT UP. But, hey, white girl here can't jump. So GUESS WHO WAS RELOADING A WHOLE LOT?

I eventually stumble into the Hollow Hideaway... A place with even more lilypads and those demon creatures I hate so much. I sorta of rushed through a lot just to be out of the damn water areas already and I slipped off my leaf. I thought, "No worries. I'll just bash the A button so that I stay above and rush over to that plot of land that I need to be at... Funny how lily pads are right here, though... It's like they don't want you to just swim like this over to the led-OHMYFUCKINGGOD. FUCK FUCK FUCK. OH. MY. FUCKING GOD, SHIT SHIT SHIT. FUCK. SHIT. BALLS." A giant fish rose up and ate me and that was the one thing I was avoiding. I thought if I hurried over that I wouldn't have to deal with that. But no. I was beyond wrong. Swimming after the turtle later on was my own personal hell. I was cruising along as calmly as I could possibly be, fish would chase me, I would panic, but I'd be over it after telling them to fuck off. But then I have to swim through a small portion of a tunnel. Turtle makes it on fine, juuust fine. I was right up his ass and what happens? Guess! Fucking guess! DEMON FISH POPS UP TO EAT ME. It missed, I said fuck this, paused, saved, and didn't play for a few more days. Eventually I picked it up again only to realize that if I stayed swimming for 30 more seconds I would've been done. OH WELL, FUCK IT. Got past the Mirror World and that's all I need. I don't give a fuck. Fuck fish, those slimy creepy bastards. You are only good for eating, asswipes. >:(

Halo Reach

I participated in a game night. I sucked. The end.

Champions Online

My sister has been addicted the moment this became a free game. I made a character and didn't touch it again until it was on Steam. I decided to tease my sister's style of play by making a new character with a slutty little costume. I set her stance to the beast one and didn't change it. So how did Skanky McSkankpants get around?

Why, on all fours of course! And no one told me how to change it for a good chunk of time. I selected my travel skill and that let me run on all fours at hyper speed! Ass in the air and anything! Took like... 2 more hours to find how to change it. Now I run like a regular skank who fights with a bow! Yay! The game is a tad bizarre, but it's worth a dabble in. I'm a bit more biased to when City of Heroes releases as a F2P. I want to be evil! I want to be a jerk! I want to throw dark.

Trenched

It's a game about love! Picked this up and hadn't played it 'til rather recently... Small part of me regrets that. I was missing out on the fabulous times I could have had sooner! That's not good! I'm terrible! I played with lovely people like pat4327, Matt, and Lemon. And less than desirable turd burgers like Babylonian and GlenTennis. ...But especially GlenTennis. >:( Sure, Intern Nick may be a bit (or a lot of) a hipster dorkface, but did you know he's racist? He's racist. And a fan of Sklarping. But at least he's not like Intern Ben... Trenched was a bucket of fun even though most of the time I was out of it and not ready for the game about love, but ah well! I played games and it was lovely. Until...

Raskulls

FUCK YOU, BEN. YOU FUCKING CHEATY MCUGHFACE URGH ARGH RAGE STOMPSTOMPSTOMP.

My sister joined in on this action and I swear to Yevon those two were secretly plotting against me. And they turned my jokes around on me the whole time. And cheated! Asshats. The both of them. Cheating, lying, filthy asshats! Makes me soo bitter.*

*I'm not bitter, but they are cheaters.

  

Despite all the ughface stuff and a bad game experience, I have had some nicer things happen.

Weight Loss

Won't give out too many specifics, but, uh, yeah! 9 lb drop over the course of a week! I really wasn't trying too hard which is the really surprising part. A bit of me thinks it's because I've been sick and my body is in "I hate you and want to give you false hope" mode, but fuck it! That's 9 pounds... GONE. I'm content.

Friendship, y'all!

Despite the slump and the not-so-great beginning to this year (HOLY FUCK, IT IS HALF OVER WITH NOW, SHIT) I've made a few great friends, some going out of their way to motivate and support me. It's surprising, flattering, and a bit of an honor to have gained these new people in my life. Nice to know I have some people to try and keep my humble and sane and sincerely care. I am such a fucking sap. :')

Um, and with that, I'm going to say I'm done writing for now. Thanks for reading, hopefully I wasn't too dull/insane/awkward/personal/typicalmeeep!

-Sparkly

Moderator
Posted by oatz

Those 9 pounds will be back, bro. I lost 17 lbs last time I had the flu and it came right back. It's just a bunch of waterweight temporarily disappearing.

Posted by Sparklykiss

@oatz: D: Shutupshutupshutup! I'm aware that could be the case, but I'm going to remain a teensy bit hopeful.

Moderator
Posted by oatz
@Sparklykiss said:

@oatz: D: Shutupshutupshutup! I'm aware that could be the case, but I'm going to remain a teensy bit hopeful.

You could always use this opportunity to lose a little real weight, now that you have a head start of sorts. It sure as hell won't be as depressing as watching the scale climb back up will be.
Posted by JJWeatherman

You didn't suck at Halo game night! It's all about fun, and love, and happiness! Not skill level!

(It's also about hiding behind trees and messing around instead of shooting, but shhhhh.)

ANYWAY, good blog. :)

Posted by L1GHTN1N

Clicked the link you told me to not to. Somehow I hate people more than I did before I clicked.

Posted by Yanngc33

Raskulls is a hard ass game, I gave up on it because of the ludicrous time trials and the "not perfect enough" controls that were driving me mad. Also, the original Alice is also hard but mainly due to the shitty controls and Alice's god awful jump

Posted by Tebbit

I just went on a 20 minute Florence + the Machine bender. Thanks. A. Lot.

Posted by ArclightBorealis

Your fear of bugs reminds me of my sister. Oddly enough, I enjoy it when she freaks out.

Edited by MetalGearSunny

So you suck at Halo, Trenched, and Wipeout? Jeez. :P

Edited by TooWalrus

Man, you should have seen some of the six-inch centipedes in Hawaii, or the dinner-plate size spiders in the Philippines... I traveled around a bunch when I was a kid, it pretty much beat the fear of bugs right out of me, I used to hate them as much as you do!

Posted by Sparklykiss

@L1GHTN1N: What? That's so backwards.

@Yanngc33: I hate her jump. I really do. I time things as perfectly as I can and it's so relentless! Bleck.

@Tebbit: It's my civic duty to mankind. You're welcome!

@Alaska_Gamer: It's not so much a fear as much as it is an absolute loathing. Hate the bastards.

@Metal_Gear_Sunny: Hey now. I don't suck at Trenched or Wipeout! I'm fairly average on one and the other is super new to me.

@TooWalrus: Oh god, fuuuuuuuuuuck that. I can see me in a hazmat suit with rubber bands on my ankles and wrists or something crazy. I'd be miserable.

Moderator
Posted by TheDudeOfGaming
@Sparklykiss: SAY Y'ALL ONE MORE TIME, I DARE YOU, I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER! SAY Y'ALL ONE MORE TIME!
Posted by Sparklykiss

@TheDudeOfGaming: English, motherfucker, do y'all speak it?

Moderator
Posted by buzz_clik

Yay for good blogs! And for nice headers! And for that scene in Temple of Doom where Willie is covered in hundreds of insec... never mind.

Moderator
Posted by TheDudeOfGaming
@Sparklykiss: Yeah, that kind of works, i can see Samuel putting on a cowboy hat and saying that. 
Posted by MetalGearSunny
@Sparklykiss said: 

@Metal_Gear_Sunny: Hey now. I don't suck at Trenched or Wipeout! I'm fairly average on one and the other is super new to me.

THATS WHAT ALL THE GIRL GAMERS SAY
Posted by Sparklykiss

@buzz_clik: Thanks! All header credit goes to JJWeatherman, though! Or else I'd just have rainbow boxes with smiley faces in them. But that video? OH GOD, WHY DID I WATCH THAT. I HATE MY LIFE.

@TheDudeOfGaming: And then I loved it again. This is one of greatest images, movie needs to be remade now.

Moderator
Posted by Sparklykiss
@Metal_Gear_Sunny said:
@Sparklykiss said: 

@Metal_Gear_Sunny: Hey now. I don't suck at Trenched or Wipeout! I'm fairly average on one and the other is super new to me.

THATS WHAT ALL THE GIRL GAMERS SAY
You're filthy.
Moderator
Posted by MetalGearSunny
@Sparklykiss said:
@Metal_Gear_Sunny said:
@Sparklykiss said: 

@Metal_Gear_Sunny: Hey now. I don't suck at Trenched or Wipeout! I'm fairly average on one and the other is super new to me.

THATS WHAT ALL THE GIRL GAMERS SAY
You're filthy.
I wouldn't keep making that bad joke if you hadn't said that in voice chat. :P