The Eternal Hell of Having a Noob Gamer Dad

For my father's birthday, I bought him an Xbox 360. This was probably the worst decision of my life. I must've been abducted by aliens and had all my neo-cortex removed, including the part which held the devastating memories of how terrible he is at video games. And not just terrible. I mean a noob gamer mixed with an impatient/angry gamer mixed with someone who thinks that it's all for young people and that I'm withholding information from him simply because I want to see him suffer endlessly finding his way out of the proverbial paper bag!

Since the only games it came with were Kinect enabled, I lent him Fable 2 (because apparently finding his hand and holding it up without activating the Kinect menu and then promptly quitting the entire Xbox 360 was too difficult). Thinking he'd be okay with it (I mean the reason I disliked that game was purely because it was far simpler than the first game) I left it at that. Now I'm literally getting calls at 10pm, and even one at midnight, asking for advice with the game. He went through the entire first few days only pressing one button, and despite not being able to do most things, refused to press any others in case he killed any more villagers. Which he does. Often. Because apparently the B button is in the wrong place.

I tell him there are hints at the top of the screen, but he swears he cannot see them. Despite sitting mere feet away. Things got especially testy when he was helping a store owner clear his store of beetles during the tutorial, and accidentally knocked over a barrel which (due to a glitch) trapped him between the wall, a box and the barrel. Refusing to break it (God forbid you lose karma!!) he literally sat there for 10 minutes waiting for something to happen, unable to move, simply staring at the screen and cursing what a terrible game Fable 2 was. If there wasn't a massive glowing trail leading to the next objective, I'm sure he'd wander around the same area endlessly until he begged me to release him.

I've tried assimilating him with gaming in the past - Half-Life 2 saw him rage quit (yes, my non gamer dad began rage-quitting before rage-quitting was probably commonplace!) before he even found a weapon. Halo saw him set the difficulty to easy and still die every few minutes. Wipeout literally saw him destroy our controllers with his button mashing (and he wonders why his vehicles continually move on their own and slam into walls!). And he restarted Morrowind only a few quests out from finishing the story because he saved right when a hard enemy was on him and he literally cannot use the Look and Move joysticks at once, so died instantly every time. No game has truly worked, except the first Fable game.

So as I write now, I'm sitting at his house "assisting him" in his ventures. He's currently spamming the entire populous of Albion with emotional actions, so every few seconds I hear some villager say in an incredibly annoying voice "Oooo! How lovely!" or "More more more!" It's as if he is simply doing it to piss me off or to boost his ego so far that he doesn't need to complete the game.

A family friend wants us to join his Battlefield 3 clan and play online with him. He goaded my dad into buying the game, but neither person is connected to LIVE yet, so the storm is still brewing. I just can't wait to see the reaction when they both inevitably get told they're newbs by some snotty ten year old who's balls haven't dropped yet. And I'll probably bear the brunt of the blame, for not teaching well enough or going slow enough. Thus the eternal hell will continue and not only will I have to deal with my dad's gaming prowess, but also have my entire squad filled with people who will sit at spawn waiting for the attackers. Lest they deplete our entire respawn count between them alone...

So next time you have a relative or parent or friend who you think would benefit from an online gaming experience, don't. Just don't. Take caution from my tale and tell them to stick to board games and cards or adopt some twelve year old just so they can then bother THEM with questions.

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Posted by SpawnMan

For my father's birthday, I bought him an Xbox 360. This was probably the worst decision of my life. I must've been abducted by aliens and had all my neo-cortex removed, including the part which held the devastating memories of how terrible he is at video games. And not just terrible. I mean a noob gamer mixed with an impatient/angry gamer mixed with someone who thinks that it's all for young people and that I'm withholding information from him simply because I want to see him suffer endlessly finding his way out of the proverbial paper bag!

Since the only games it came with were Kinect enabled, I lent him Fable 2 (because apparently finding his hand and holding it up without activating the Kinect menu and then promptly quitting the entire Xbox 360 was too difficult). Thinking he'd be okay with it (I mean the reason I disliked that game was purely because it was far simpler than the first game) I left it at that. Now I'm literally getting calls at 10pm, and even one at midnight, asking for advice with the game. He went through the entire first few days only pressing one button, and despite not being able to do most things, refused to press any others in case he killed any more villagers. Which he does. Often. Because apparently the B button is in the wrong place.

I tell him there are hints at the top of the screen, but he swears he cannot see them. Despite sitting mere feet away. Things got especially testy when he was helping a store owner clear his store of beetles during the tutorial, and accidentally knocked over a barrel which (due to a glitch) trapped him between the wall, a box and the barrel. Refusing to break it (God forbid you lose karma!!) he literally sat there for 10 minutes waiting for something to happen, unable to move, simply staring at the screen and cursing what a terrible game Fable 2 was. If there wasn't a massive glowing trail leading to the next objective, I'm sure he'd wander around the same area endlessly until he begged me to release him.

I've tried assimilating him with gaming in the past - Half-Life 2 saw him rage quit (yes, my non gamer dad began rage-quitting before rage-quitting was probably commonplace!) before he even found a weapon. Halo saw him set the difficulty to easy and still die every few minutes. Wipeout literally saw him destroy our controllers with his button mashing (and he wonders why his vehicles continually move on their own and slam into walls!). And he restarted Morrowind only a few quests out from finishing the story because he saved right when a hard enemy was on him and he literally cannot use the Look and Move joysticks at once, so died instantly every time. No game has truly worked, except the first Fable game.

So as I write now, I'm sitting at his house "assisting him" in his ventures. He's currently spamming the entire populous of Albion with emotional actions, so every few seconds I hear some villager say in an incredibly annoying voice "Oooo! How lovely!" or "More more more!" It's as if he is simply doing it to piss me off or to boost his ego so far that he doesn't need to complete the game.

A family friend wants us to join his Battlefield 3 clan and play online with him. He goaded my dad into buying the game, but neither person is connected to LIVE yet, so the storm is still brewing. I just can't wait to see the reaction when they both inevitably get told they're newbs by some snotty ten year old who's balls haven't dropped yet. And I'll probably bear the brunt of the blame, for not teaching well enough or going slow enough. Thus the eternal hell will continue and not only will I have to deal with my dad's gaming prowess, but also have my entire squad filled with people who will sit at spawn waiting for the attackers. Lest they deplete our entire respawn count between them alone...

So next time you have a relative or parent or friend who you think would benefit from an online gaming experience, don't. Just don't. Take caution from my tale and tell them to stick to board games and cards or adopt some twelve year old just so they can then bother THEM with questions.

Posted by AhmadMetallic

Wow.... condolences, brother.

Posted by Grissefar

Lend him Dark Souls, see how he likes that. Hee hee.

Posted by crusader8463

One word little word will solve all of your problems. Patricide.

Posted by PenguinDust

You probably should have picked something grounded in a little more reality than Fable II as an introduction for him. A racing game like Forza or Need for Speed would have been a better choice in my opinion. He knows how to drive already so the mechanics are familiar and the concept, win the race, is easy to grasp. Burnout Paradise is a lot of fun, be the whole "stop-light triggers an event" element would probably be too much of a hassle for him right off the bat. Think about what interests him in the real world and see if there are any simple video game adaptions of that. Also, get him used to "easy" difficulty to reduce his frustration.

Posted by SpicyRichter

Maybe games just aren't for your dad. My dad plays online poker, tell him to give that a try.

Posted by Nentisys

I actually played a few coop sessions of the original Halo with my dad when it was new. He was pretty good considering it was his first time using a controller. He just wanted to see what all the fuss (me and my friends played that game to death on coop) was about.

Posted by Neferon

Hehehe, excellent post. Feed the rage!

Edited by plaintomato

The fact that he will even try it for more than a few minutes is a mind boggling success. That he is asking questions, and actually trying and continuing to try to play games...really I'm blown away.

Anybody I've ever met that fits the general old dog paradigm you describe might play something long enough to humor you and never ever touch the machine if you weren't around...unless maybe they were into movies enough to want to figure out the 360 as a movie rental machine.

Anyway, you've had more success with this particular endeavor than most ever will. This is like bitching that you've trained your dog to crap in the toilet but it won't flush and still drinks the toilet water - it's just impressive that you made it as far as you did.

Posted by OtakuGamer

You know, at least he actually attempts to play video games. My dad’s more within the lines of, GAMES ARE SHIT, PLAYIN TO MUCH, WASTIN YOUR LIFE.

Posted by DeeGee

You bought your dad who does not like or understand games a games console and games to play.

Am I missing something here?

Posted by lclay

My father played half life 1 and I think tomb raider 2 when they were new but he's never shown any interest in any others games. It's pretty weird.

Posted by Sir_Loin_of_Beef

Wow I actually read all of that lol, cool story, I can't wait to hear about how this Battlefield 3 clan pans out xD

Posted by Hizang

Video games are not for everybody, trade in that 360 and get him a Kindle.

Posted by gamefreak9

@plaintomato said:

The fact that he will even try it for more than a few minutes is a mind boggling success. That he is asking questions, and actually trying and continuing to try to play games...really I'm blown away.

Anybody I've ever met that fits the general old dog paradigm you describe might play something long enough to humor you and never ever touch the machine if you weren't around...unless maybe they were into movies enough to want to figure out the 360 as a movie rental machine.

Anyway, you've had more success with this particular endeavor than most ever will. This is like bitching that you've trained your dog to crap in the toilet but it won't flush and still drinks the toilet water - it's just impressive that you made it as far as you did.

this... i tried a couple of times... there were even times when i thought i was successful in sparking interest... but as soon as i'm out the room, it goes away.

Posted by left4doof
@Hizang: then he can rage quit a book 
Posted by kmdrkul

My dad has played video games for as long as I can remember (the SNES days) but in the last five or so years he only plays the yearly iteration of Call of Duty games. He actually told me the other day that he had to turn the difficulty up in MW3 because he wasn't getting enough of a challenge.

Posted by Deusx

This was a great read. Just let him play minecraft. He can't do anything wrong in that game.

Edited by weegieanawrench

The only games my dad plays right now is Solitaire or Bejeweled 3. We used to play a lot of Pitfall: The Mayan Adventure, Doom 1, 2, and Final Doom. He has not shown any interest since. Man those were some fun games to play together.

Posted by SpawnMan

@Grissefar said:

Lend him Dark Souls, see how he likes that. Hee hee.

He's actually seen me playing it and was like "Wow, that looks like a game I can play... right?" I lol'ed inside and thought to myself "No dad, no it's not". But yes, I'm totally going to give it to him. I don't think he'll get out of the first few corridors lol.

@PenguinDust said:

You probably should have picked something grounded in a little more reality than Fable II as an introduction for him. A racing game like Forza or Need for Speed would have been a better choice in my opinion. He knows how to drive already so the mechanics are familiar and the concept, win the race, is easy to grasp. Burnout Paradise is a lot of fun, be the whole "stop-light triggers an event" element would probably be too much of a hassle for him right off the bat. Think about what interests him in the real world and see if there are any simple video game adaptions of that. Also, get him used to "easy" difficulty to reduce his frustration.

He BEGGED me to let him play Fable 2 because he loved the first game on the original Xbox. I have got him Burnout Paradise for Christmas too since it was cheap and we can play it online, but I can already envision me sitting there going "Okay, to finish the challenge, you just need to jump through the hoop there" one hour later............

@DeeGee said:

You bought your dad who does not like or understand games a games console and games to play.

Am I missing something here?

Despite hating and not being good at about 99.99999999999999991% of all games, he still really wanted an Xbox 360 lol. And for the record, I advised him against playing Fable 2 since it'd only ruin the series for him, and told him to just stick to his turn based stuff. But alas, he pined for the 360.

Posted by yoshimitz707

I wish my dad would make an effort to play video games. He thinks they've ruined me, though. So odds aren't very good on that.

Posted by TheHBK

NEWB!!!!

Posted by Akyho

Let me run down some choice things my dadhas done when playing Games "JUMP! JUMP!!! YOU FUCKER!!! FUCKING!!! JUMP!! STUPID FUCKING ARSE JUMP!!!" *increasingly pulling the controller across him like it was a playstation 6 axis and mimicing the motion to jump* "FUCKING JUMP!" *controller flys across the room* "STUPID FUCKING GAME ANYWAYS!"

This was 93 with the SEGA Mastersystem playing Sonic the Hedghog 1. My dad has played games since then and after the first five years stopped throwing the controller.

My dad has completed hundreds of computers games and somehow manages to cope. He played fighting games alot untill arthrities in his hands got too bad to even finish one round. We played VS alot so it was a bit sad. We then got Half life 1 for the ps2. (horrible i know) And so my dad got used to FPS well....we had DOOM and the like befor but not so much of a free crosshair. So halo comes and he can play that....however "Were the fuck did that thing come from!! THATS FUCKIN CHEATING! I want to the fly them! why cant i fly them! Fucking cheaters." He is talking about Banshees.

My dad started playing Splintercell Conviction. He loved Chaos Theory so it should be fine. We go through the tutorial with Sam in his house and his daughter.....my dad goes "when the fuck do I get a gun?" I said "soon" We get down stares the game slows down to let you shoot my dad goes "What the fuck? why cant i move....I cant do anything!" I was about to say and he switched off the xbox.......he then asked again "how long till i get a gun!?" "Dad.....2 seconds from then......"

Recently I witnessed my dad start Skyrim......it was torture as I hadnt played it yet. I usaly get all games first but my dad has been drooling over Skyrim for ages, We both playing Morrowind and Oblivion alot aswell as Fallout and NV,

So I am watching him. Dragon attacks.......and my dad runs around in circles. There is one man at a keep shouting "COME HERE!" while there is that other guy. I missed him in my own play. So i watch 5mins befor telling him to go in the keep. We go up and dragon bursts through. we are told to jump.....my dad does that....just not towards anything....dead.

Often through the night i hear these sounds nowadays. *dap dap dap bch......dap dap dap dap bch.....dap dap dap bach* "AHH FUCK NO NO NO NO YOU FUCK OFF GET AWAY!!!" *SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BOOOOOOM!!* "AWWWWWWWWWWWWW you cunt you fucking destroyed my house! FUCKING CREEPER!!!"

My dad plays minecraft......shouldnt have shown him it.

Posted by PeasantAbuse

My dad will get super addicted to simple games. First it was Pac-Man on the 2600, then Bosconian on some TV plug in and play thing my mom bought him as a joke, and most recently it's been Angry Birds on the iPad. He also plays spider solitaire all the time.

Posted by coakroach

I remember my dad used to play Civilization on Deity and take over the whole god damn world.

Couldn't shoot to save his life in Halo, but damn he could build one hell of an empire.

Posted by SpawnMan

@coakroach: Damn, you just described my dad. He played Civ II so much, and I was terrible at it, but he was so good. Then I bought Civ 4 & 5 later on and I kicked ass at them and I think it was because of that that he decided the games were terrible and not as good as the older ones.

@Akyho: Damn dads are both a mixture of hilarity and frustration to watch eh? My dad does the same with jumping. He literally couldn't jump up one ledge on Halo. He tried for days, and I just watched him. He'd run forward raise his controller, but not jump properly and do nothing. He finally relented and gave me the controller and I did it in one second. Literally. And he does the same with car games - the controller swerves from side to side like moving the controller is actually going to stop him slamming into another wall. Either way, it usually ends in a rage quit and a "Stupid game..." utterance. Or the hallowed "The game cheats!" accusation to me the following morning when I see him.

Posted by iam3green

my father and i use to play goldeneye together. he was  pretty bad at the game. good times, every once in a while he will ask me what game am i playing.

Posted by Matfei90

Sounds like you shouldn't have bought him a 360. Both of my parents aren't interested in it, so I gave up trying to get them into it 14 years ago.

Posted by SSully

My dad got me into games as a kid. I used to watch him play LoZ LTTP and eventually started to play snes and n64 games with him. I surpassed him on the n64 and he slowly stopped playing. A few years ago I got him hooked on Joint Operations, and he actually got really good at it. He has fallen off after playing it for 3 or so years, but I like to think he could still hold his own if I ever got him to play another game.

Posted by MikkaQ

At least he tries. My dad just says it gives him a headache and gave up. In the N64 era.

Now the only time he's impressed by games is every time a new Forza comes out,

Posted by BlinkyTM

My Dad won't even play games with me anymore. I tried playing sports games...I guess I shouldn't have won 20-0 in the Bigs 2, shooters...pretty much any awesome game I can think of. Parents just don't like games! They also think it's for little kids, don't know how you can say that with games like Gears 3 and Skyrim...but whatever.

Posted by ZeForgotten

All I got out of that story was that you're kinda dumb. buying a gaming console for a guy who seems to not like and understand gaming. 
It's nice having a lot of money to waste on stuff , isn't it? I often just spend money on weird stuff, never for other people though, just me. 

Posted by Sjosz

Without really encouraging my dad to do so, he ended up picking up both Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 for PC to show support (I worked on ME2). Although he came to me with a couple questions and complaints about the game being pretty difficult at points, he has now completed ME2 a staggering 6 times, and that for someone who doesn't really play games beyond minesweeper, solitaire, etc.

Good luck and keep having patience. At some point your dad will either stop altogether, or get good enough to make it a fun time for all involved.

Posted by SpawnMan

@ZeForgotten said:

All I got out of that story was that you're kinda dumb. buying a gaming console for a guy who seems to not like and understand gaming. It's nice having a lot of money to waste on stuff , isn't it? I often just spend money on weird stuff, never for other people though, just me.

All that I got from your comment is that 1) You're a c*nt. 2) You're a really BIG c*nt. 3) You don't read the comments below as you'd know that I've already answered that he ASKED for the Xbox despite not liking it. 4) Your grammar is pretty sh*t. 5) You're probably a selfish ass... And of course 6) You're a HUGE c*nt.

Have a nice day. : )

Posted by Tim_the_Corsair

My dad got me into games with Karateka on our old Apple, and gamed right through the DOS and early Windows eras but he has dropped off playing them completely now; he bought a beast of a PC and plays Hearts on it, sigh.

He was pretty fantastic at Desert Combat, and has always been very good at RTSes and Civ-style games. Used to steal my gameboy for hours on end playing Tetris too.

Posted by Afroman269

I'm not bothered that my dad just can't comprehend using a gamepad...well I was frustrated at first because of how he couldn't figure out how to use the two analog sticks properly but I did get over it. He prefers playing the Wii.

Posted by McGhee

I've seen people like this, especially when trying to play FPSs with a controller, but I just don't understand how people can be as bad as they are. How do you instantly forget what a button does? Repeatedly? I had a roommate who wasn't much of a gamer, but not this bad. I was playing Ninja Gaiden, one of the hardest games of all time, and he wanted to get in on it. All day and night, he'd shout at me through the apartment, "Just help me through this one part. I'm stuck!" I helped him a little at first but then I just told him the only way he was going to get through it was to struggle through it himself. He yelled at me repeatedly and I would just turn up my music. Eventually he did finish it and I felt myself like a proud parent.

But how do people like your dad even survive in life? How did they survive riding a bike and driving a car? These things are not much different than gaming.

Edited by MideonNViscera

I only allow my dad to play baseball, and CoD games on recruit.

EDIT: The most frightening day of my life was when he sat down and seemed to become very interested in what was happening in Mass Effect 2.

Edited by ZeForgotten
@SpawnMan said:

@ZeForgotten said:

All I got out of that story was that you're kinda dumb. buying a gaming console for a guy who seems to not like and understand gaming. It's nice having a lot of money to waste on stuff , isn't it? I often just spend money on weird stuff, never for other people though, just me.

All that I got from your comment is that 1) You're a c*nt. 2) You're a really BIG c*nt. 3) You don't read the comments below as you'd know that I've already answered that he ASKED for the Xbox despite not liking it. 4) Your grammar is pretty sh*t. 5) You're probably a selfish ass... And of course 6) You're a HUGE c*nt.

Have a nice day. : )

1) It's ok, kid, you can say "cunt" on here if you feel like it. Not that it matters since I think most people here have a brain (ahahahahaha) and don't take joke comments seriously, well except maybe you.  
2) a "Big" cunt? how does that work? is it like a giant hole in a wall or something? 
3) Yes, I did read it, still found it really dumb to "waste" that "much" money on a console for him, but that's fine if you felt like doing it. I didn't mean it like a huge insult to you, at first, now I do :) 
4) Oh no, I'm not a pathetic american or british fucktard who don't know english that well, sue me.  
5) Selfish? of course, Why would I give a flying fuck about you? :P you're funny, sure but you are just a nobody to me and I hope to some religions nutjobs "god" that you getting insulted by me is a joke. If not then that means I have an impact on your life and that makes me more important to you than you are to me.  
6) There it is again, is the hole bigger now? speaking from experience or something with sloppy vaginas or something? 
 
7) Don't insult people for no reason, boy, it doesn't suit you at all. Take a joke once in a while or just sit back and think "could he be joking" and ask. If you had done that first you would know that I was joking. But it's ok, you can insult me all you want whenever you feel like it. Better to be hated and remembered than to be a nobody. :)
Posted by Vinny_Says

One time I played blitz 99 with my dad for like 3 minutes. Another time he saw my brother play Super Mario Galaxy and pointed out to me: "Hey remember playing this when you were younger?" (alluding to Super mario 64...I'm 99% sure he thought both were the same game)

The last video game moment with my dad was him visiting while I was playing with the autovista mode in forza 4 and being impressed. You dad is miles further down the road on this whole playing videogames thing. Congrats!!

Posted by TheDudeOfGaming
@SpawnMan said:

@ZeForgotten said:

All I got out of that story was that you're kinda dumb. buying a gaming console for a guy who seems to not like and understand gaming. It's nice having a lot of money to waste on stuff , isn't it? I often just spend money on weird stuff, never for other people though, just me.

All that I got from your comment is that 1) You're a c*nt. 2) You're a really BIG c*nt. 3) You don't read the comments below as you'd know that I've already answered that he ASKED for the Xbox despite not liking it. 4) Your grammar is pretty sh*t. 5) You're probably a selfish ass... And of course 6) You're a HUGE c*nt.

Have a nice day. : )

You sir, are a complete asshole. Your dad should have beat the shit out of you, instead of trying to play video games.
Edited by ZeForgotten
@TheDudeOfGaming said:

@SpawnMan said:

@ZeForgotten said:

All I got out of that story was that you're kinda dumb. buying a gaming console for a guy who seems to not like and understand gaming. It's nice having a lot of money to waste on stuff , isn't it? I often just spend money on weird stuff, never for other people though, just me.

All that I got from your comment is that 1) You're a c*nt. 2) You're a really BIG c*nt. 3) You don't read the comments below as you'd know that I've already answered that he ASKED for the Xbox despite not liking it. 4) Your grammar is pretty sh*t. 5) You're probably a selfish ass... And of course 6) You're a HUGE c*nt.

Have a nice day. : )

You sir, are a complete asshole. Your dad should have beat the shit out of you, instead of trying to play video games.
Nono, it's ok. He got sad because of my joke about  his waste of money :P
Also, his dad probably already did beat him up, why else would anyone turn out like that?
Posted by Still_I_Cry

Ha, that was a fun read.

My parents used to play my N64 but they gave that up.

Now they don't even bother trying.

Posted by Rattle618
@SpawnMan: Just start him up with something simple and have him work his way up to RPGs. No matter how dumb an rpg is it is still a hell of a lot more to deal with than a shooter or something like that. 
On the other hand if you want him to die just get him geometry wars.
Edited by SpawnMan

@ZeForgotten said:

@SpawnMan said:

@ZeForgotten said:

All I got out of that story was that you're kinda dumb. buying a gaming console for a guy who seems to not like and understand gaming. It's nice having a lot of money to waste on stuff , isn't it? I often just spend money on weird stuff, never for other people though, just me.

All that I got from your comment is that 1) You're a c*nt. 2) You're a really BIG c*nt. 3) You don't read the comments below as you'd know that I've already answered that he ASKED for the Xbox despite not liking it. 4) Your grammar is pretty sh*t. 5) You're probably a selfish ass... And of course 6) You're a HUGE c*nt.

Have a nice day. : )

1) It's ok, kid, you can say "cunt" on here if you feel like it. Not that it matters since I think most people here have a brain (ahahahahaha) and don't take joke comments seriously, well except maybe you. 2) a "Big" cunt? how does that work? is it like a giant hole in a wall or something? 3) Yes, I did read it, still found it really dumb to "waste" that "much" money on a console for him, but that's fine if you felt like doing it. I didn't mean it like a huge insult to you, at first, now I do :) 4) Oh no, I'm not a pathetic american or british fucktard who don't know english that well, sue me. 5) Selfish? of course, Why would I give a flying fuck about you? :P you're funny, sure but you are just a nobody to me and I hope to some religions nutjobs "god" that you getting insulted by me is a joke. If not then that means I have an impact on your life and that makes me more important to you than you are to me. 6) There it is again, is the hole bigger now? speaking from experience or something with sloppy vaginas or something? 7) Don't insult people for no reason, boy, it doesn't suit you at all. Take a joke once in a while or just sit back and think "could he be joking" and ask. If you had done that first you would know that I was joking. But it's ok, you can insult me all you want whenever you feel like it. Better to be hated and remembered than to be a nobody. :)

Wait, who are you? Oh yerrr that annoying guy with a chip on his soldier. My reply was a joke too, but since you're taking it so seriously, well damn son! And I like how you refer to me as "boy" and "kid". This shows me two things - you probably have trouble stepping out of your daddy's shadow and because you'll never be as great as him, you take to treating other people as children to make yourself feel like a bigger man. This also shows, that while flawed, you are also quite smart as the "boy" comment is a great way to get a rise out of males, who's main communication method is "One-upmanship", but alas it doesn't work on me. P.S. Use the enter button so your paragraphs don't look so big and rambling, thus giving your argument more form and credence.

The fact you're trying a whole list of insults merely proves that you are used to trolling on here, but are not smart enough however to figure out exactly what will make me "tick". The fact you've used so many, from God insulting to "boy" and beyond means that getting a rise out of people is VERY important to you and it's most likely that all your internet communications revolve around getting people to have a strong reaction to people (as proven by your statement "Better to be hated and remembered than to be a nobody). The fact you're trying so hard to be remembered on the web probably means that you are quite the opposite in real life - ignored and/or underwhelmed with your life and hopelessly seeking an outlet to be important on.

And yes, bigger vag*nas ARE better. They're the only ones that will fit my beast. And by beast I mean p*nis. Just ask your mum - with the big head and ego you have, I'm pretty sure she's messed up down there. ; )

@TheDudeOfGaming: My comments were in the same "humour" that ZeForgotten made his comments in. At least mine was informed rather than still asking why I bought the console for my dad. Thanks for your comment though dude. : )

Posted by Cloudenvy

@SpawnMan: Give it a rest already.

And I really doubt you know anything about pyschology.

Posted by SpawnMan

@Cloudenvy: Lol, so he's allowed to troll and I'm not. LOL. And no, that wasn't psychology - it was common sense. : )

Posted by ZeForgotten
@SpawnMan said:

@ZeForgotten said:

@SpawnMan said:

@ZeForgotten said:

All I got out of that story was that you're kinda dumb. buying a gaming console for a guy who seems to not like and understand gaming. It's nice having a lot of money to waste on stuff , isn't it? I often just spend money on weird stuff, never for other people though, just me.

All that I got from your comment is that 1) You're a c*nt. 2) You're a really BIG c*nt. 3) You don't read the comments below as you'd know that I've already answered that he ASKED for the Xbox despite not liking it. 4) Your grammar is pretty sh*t. 5) You're probably a selfish ass... And of course 6) You're a HUGE c*nt.

Have a nice day. : )

1) It's ok, kid, you can say "cunt" on here if you feel like it. Not that it matters since I think most people here have a brain (ahahahahaha) and don't take joke comments seriously, well except maybe you. 2) a "Big" cunt? how does that work? is it like a giant hole in a wall or something? 3) Yes, I did read it, still found it really dumb to "waste" that "much" money on a console for him, but that's fine if you felt like doing it. I didn't mean it like a huge insult to you, at first, now I do :) 4) Oh no, I'm not a pathetic american or british fucktard who don't know english that well, sue me. 5) Selfish? of course, Why would I give a flying fuck about you? :P you're funny, sure but you are just a nobody to me and I hope to some religions nutjobs "god" that you getting insulted by me is a joke. If not then that means I have an impact on your life and that makes me more important to you than you are to me. 6) There it is again, is the hole bigger now? speaking from experience or something with sloppy vaginas or something? 7) Don't insult people for no reason, boy, it doesn't suit you at all. Take a joke once in a while or just sit back and think "could he be joking" and ask. If you had done that first you would know that I was joking. But it's ok, you can insult me all you want whenever you feel like it. Better to be hated and remembered than to be a nobody. :)

Wait, who are you? Oh yerrr that annoying guy with a chip on his soldier. My reply was a joke too, but since you're taking it so seriously, well damn son! And I like how you refer to me as "boy" and "kid". This shows me two things - you probably have trouble stepping out of your daddy's shadow and because you'll never be as great as him, you take to treating other people as children to make yourself feel like a bigger man. This also shows, that while flawed, you are also quite smart as the "boy" comment is a great way to get a rise out of males, who's main communication method is "One-upmanship", but alas it doesn't work on me. P.S. Use the enter button so your paragraphs don't look so big and rambling, thus giving your argument more form and credence.

The fact you're trying a whole list of insults merely proves that you are used to trolling on here, but are not smart enough however to figure out exactly what will make me "tick". The fact you've used so many, from God insulting to "boy" and beyond means that getting a rise out of people is VERY important to you and it's most likely that all your internet communications revolve around getting people to have a strong reaction to people (as proven by your statement "Better to be hated and remembered than to be a nobody). The fact you're trying so hard to be remembered on the web probably means that you are quite the opposite in real life - ignored and/or underwhelmed with your life and hopelessly seeking an outlet to be important on.

And yes, bigger vag*nas ARE better. They're the only ones that will fit my beast. And by beast I mean p*nis. Just ask your mum - with the big head and ego you have, I'm pretty sure she's messed up down there. ; )

@TheDudeOfGaming: My comments were in the same "humour" that ZeForgotten made his comments in. At least mine was informed rather than still asking why I bought the console for my dad. Thanks for your comment though dude. : )

Haha, sure you were joking, the "cunt" part and the butt-hurt comments sure gave that away and wow how original. "My penis is big" and "I fucked your mom" jokes, and you still wonder why I call you a kid? Come on, that's like an "insult" from a 10 year old. 
Posted by SpawnMan

@ZeForgotten: See what I mean? Such a shame you can't see that I'm totally non-serious, but in any case I'll adhere to "DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS". : )

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