A moment of compassion for the hero.

I'm playing through Dead Space right now.  I got DS2 pretty cheap off Amazon, and having never finished the first game, I felt that it was only right to make sure that I go back and experience the magic.  I'm really not sure why I never finished the game when it first came out.  I really love the atmosphere and the feel of the game, so I have no real clue why I got to Chapter 10 and just stopped.  Though, after a moment that just happened, I think I may have an idea. 
 
So, for those few not fully familiar with Dead Space, you play as Isaac.  Isaac isn't a soldier of any sorts, he's just a simple spaceship engineer.  So, when all this insane necromorph stuff goes down, he's just doing his best to survive.  At EVERY damn turn, a new problem presents itself.  Whether it's the fact that the ship he's in is falling out of orbit, the air is poisoned and needs to be cleansed, the tram is down, or just the fact that he's dealing with an army of creepy damn space zombies, the dude is simply having a bad day.   
 
So, I can't help but imagine the look of pure rage underneath that helmet when one of his crewmates, Kendra, a woman who has been just sort of hiding and hacking into the ship's computers says something along the lines of "Man...I don't know how much more of this I can take." 
 
... 
 
FUCK YOU, LADY!  I just had to kill a goddamn space anus with three bone tentacles that was shooting fireballs at me!  I had to deep freeze an invincible, regenerating space zombie!  I've had to see some horrible shit caused by a half-dead crew that has gone completely insane, yet still has decided that killing ME would be a fun way to spend the evening.  All that has happened, and I'm not even HALFWAY THROUGH THE GAME.  There's probably going to be a giant cyborg zombie that quotes Dane Cook and Carrot Top jokes while blaring Kenny G music through giant speakers that I have to fight before this game is over, and YOU don't know how much more YOU can take?! 
 
Is this how our video game heroes should be treated?  We only truly celebrate them AFTER they've accomplished an impossible mission?  Maybe Mario shouldn't have just been told to get his ass to the next castle after saving the wrong captive for the 6th time.  Would it have killed Toad to say "Thank you, Mario.  But, our princess is in another castle.  But, hold up a minute.  Take a breather.  You want a lemonade?  How about a burger?  If you want to take 30 minutes to catch a quick nap, that would be cool."  Maybe if Commander Shepard had been told that his armor looks nice today, he wouldn't have felt the urge to kick a dude through a window (if you played the game the RIGHT way).  Hey, how about taking a moment in between the never-changing wars to give Solid Snake a damn hug?  And, for the love of GOD, have someone besides Ramirez do something!
 
So, to everyone that takes the hero busting his ass to save yours for granted: SHAME.  And, Kendra, I get the feeling that you're going to do something stupid before this game's over which will lead to a hopefully satisfying demise.  If not, then I hope you don't survive the sequel.  Your death will make me happy.

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The biggest problem with Black Ops' Multiplayer.

So, I'm really liking Black Ops.  Much more than I even thought I would.  However, there is one glaring problem that Treyarch made when creating the maps:
 
There are too many windows.
 
Now, this may not SEEM like a big problem, but it is.  Let me explain:  In this iteration of Call of Duty, you can now dive into a prone position.  Meaning, that while you are running, you can hold down the crouch button, and you will dive a few feet, onto your stomach, and be in prone.  It's kind of a fun little thing that they added.  However, this neat little addition can be problematic when introduced into Multiplayer and its numerous windows.  Why?  Because Treyarch had the foresight to make it so you can dive through windows.  John Woo style.  And once you've tasted the sweet ambrosia that is diving out of a two-story window, landing on your stomach, and killing some poor bastard who never knew what hit him, you will never stop trying to recreate that moment.  I had the misfortune of killing someone in such a fashion as the game winning kill earlier.  That sort of thing changes a man.  You go from "steely-eyed killing machine", to "moron running through gunfire and charging towards glass just to hear that sweet, sweet shattering sound" in less than a second. 
 
Treyarch knew damn well what they were doing when they did this. We gamers are a simple folk at heart.  Oh, sure, we claim to love the artsy indie crap.  But, when introduced to giant fireballs, massive weaponry, and even simple shattering glass, we revert to a caveman state.  Hell, we still lose our shit when we see working reflections in mirrors!  So, I hope the game's creators are happy with what they've done.  It's too late to undo most of the damage.  But, maybe they could make a tutorial to teach us how to fight such impulses?  I don't know.  I'm going to go play a bit more and continue to hate myself when I'm unable to resist the urge to dive.

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