By SquirrelGOD 3 Comments
I'm playing through Dead Space right now. I got DS2 pretty cheap off Amazon, and having never finished the first game, I felt that it was only right to make sure that I go back and experience the magic. I'm really not sure why I never finished the game when it first came out. I really love the atmosphere and the feel of the game, so I have no real clue why I got to Chapter 10 and just stopped. Though, after a moment that just happened, I think I may have an idea.
So, for those few not fully familiar with Dead Space, you play as Isaac. Isaac isn't a soldier of any sorts, he's just a simple spaceship engineer. So, when all this insane necromorph stuff goes down, he's just doing his best to survive. At EVERY damn turn, a new problem presents itself. Whether it's the fact that the ship he's in is falling out of orbit, the air is poisoned and needs to be cleansed, the tram is down, or just the fact that he's dealing with an army of creepy damn space zombies, the dude is simply having a bad day.
So, I can't help but imagine the look of pure rage underneath that helmet when one of his crewmates, Kendra, a woman who has been just sort of hiding and hacking into the ship's computers says something along the lines of "Man...I don't know how much more of this I can take."
FUCK YOU, LADY! I just had to kill a goddamn space anus with three bone tentacles that was shooting fireballs at me! I had to deep freeze an invincible, regenerating space zombie! I've had to see some horrible shit caused by a half-dead crew that has gone completely insane, yet still has decided that killing ME would be a fun way to spend the evening. All that has happened, and I'm not even HALFWAY THROUGH THE GAME. There's probably going to be a giant cyborg zombie that quotes Dane Cook and Carrot Top jokes while blaring Kenny G music through giant speakers that I have to fight before this game is over, and YOU don't know how much more YOU can take?!
Is this how our video game heroes should be treated? We only truly celebrate them AFTER they've accomplished an impossible mission? Maybe Mario shouldn't have just been told to get his ass to the next castle after saving the wrong captive for the 6th time. Would it have killed Toad to say "Thank you, Mario. But, our princess is in another castle. But, hold up a minute. Take a breather. You want a lemonade? How about a burger? If you want to take 30 minutes to catch a quick nap, that would be cool." Maybe if Commander Shepard had been told that his armor looks nice today, he wouldn't have felt the urge to kick a dude through a window (if you played the game the RIGHT way). Hey, how about taking a moment in between the never-changing wars to give Solid Snake a damn hug? And, for the love of GOD, have someone besides Ramirez do something!
So, to everyone that takes the hero busting his ass to save yours for granted: SHAME. And, Kendra, I get the feeling that you're going to do something stupid before this game's over which will lead to a hopefully satisfying demise. If not, then I hope you don't survive the sequel. Your death will make me happy.