By Sweep 7 Comments
Last Friday I graduated from university. I would have liked to play that off as something other than a big deal, but I am unable to do so. It is a big deal. For the first time in my life, I don't know what happens next. I'm not going to lie to you here... I'm pretty fucking terrified.
The last week has been... well... it's been fast. I like to think there's a difference between drinking and celebrating, but those two lines draw dangerously close as each night progresses. And then E3 started, and then the alcohol stopped being an excuse and started being a result. This is what happens when you take an extremely exhausted, malnourished, lost human being and expose them to an overwhelmingly crippling wealth of information: Simply put, after the first day of E3 I pretty much mentally surrendered. I took note of events but my ability to care was significantly hindered by both my psychological and physical state. I spent the last seventy two hours on autopilot, sub-consciously water-skiing; terrified that if I stopped moving I would sink and drown.
I'm leaving university, where I have lived for 3 years, and I might never come back. I'm leaving all my friends and I might never see them again. I have no money, no job, nowhere to live except back with my parents. These are problems to which solutions must be found. For the first time in a long time, shit is happening. Things of relatively great importance. E3... well... E3 can wait.
It's times like these that you have to stop and look at what you are doing, what you have done, and what you are going to do. Fresh perspective is hard to find, and being granted such perspective is an opportunity, a privilege, that cannot be wasted. So right now I'm looking at myself and I'm trying to figure out if I like what I see.
...This might take a while.
As always, thanks for reading.