By Sweep 29 Comments
Somebody wrote this about the GB mods, specifically me I guess, and stuck it on the forums. I'm kind of impressed that I managed to piss someone off that they went to all this effort! If this is the sort of person we are banning then I guess this is vindication that I'm doing something right.
After the success of Journey to Modship: MB Edition, I promise a lot of you a Sweep Edition of how he became a cunt like MB. Well here's the thing, I only have a few tid bits on Sweep, all I know that he kissed ass for modship despite trolling and spamming up the forums during his pre-mod days, but after speaking with Kush, I got everything I need to know.
Sweep was a happy-go-lucky boy who's inspired to be a homosexual lumberjack. One day when learning how to get double penetrated with dildos made out of sandpaper by a accomplished homosexual lumberjack (rumor has it that it's The Beast), he tells him that he got to where he's at due to a modship know as GiantBomb modship.
The next day Sweep went to the next best place to achieve the modship - a gay sex club. There he meets a former GiantBomb mod name Kush. Kush tells him about what he had to do to get it, and that's by kissing the mods/GiantBomb's ass. But Kush also warns Sweep about the aftermath of kissing ass for the modship. "It will descend you into madness!" says Kush. But the eager Sweep desperately replies: "It's my dream to be a homosexual lumberjack!"
After he learns the art of ass kissing from Kush. Sweep creates his account, and like any asshole user on GiantBomb, he trolls, spams, and ass kisses in the GiantBomb forums. The ass kissing he provided wasn't enough. Sweep grew weary, and sad the his dream wasn't going to come true, but he remained determined. Sweep knew that he has to have the right opportunity to prove his ass kissing-ness. So when GiantBomb unveiled the point system - a system that exploits every users as cattle to be milked off of for points - it angered a lot of the good users of GiantBomb. So Sweep's opportunity arrived, and posted a shameful blog about how amazing the points system is.
Meanwhile at his bathroom tub,nude, covering himself with feces and taking photos of himself for his Facebook page, MB takes notice at Sweep's ass kissing:and says: "Wow! This guy is the biggest kiss ass since MattyFTM!" So MB looks through his past post, and like the other users that became a mod, MB ignores all the trolling and spamming that Sweeps has done and only focuses on the ass kissing. MB knew he was a perfect candidate so he gave him the mod status. It made Sweep very proud.
So Sweep is now a proud homosexual lumberjack getting fucked by many fellow lumberjacks before him. But what Kush warn him about was starting to get to Sweep. . . . . .
I miss Kush. Whatever happened to that guy?