The Joys Of Moderation

Somebody wrote this about the GB mods, specifically me I guess, and stuck it on the forums. I'm kind of impressed that I managed to piss someone off that they went to all this effort! If this is the sort of person we are banning then I guess this is vindication that I'm doing something right.

Anyway, enjoy:

After the success of Journey to Modship: MB Edition, I promise a lot of you a Sweep Edition of how he became a cunt like MB. Well here's the thing, I only have a few tid bits on Sweep, all I know that he kissed ass for modship despite trolling and spamming up the forums during his pre-mod days, but after speaking with Kush, I got everything I need to know.

Sweep was a happy-go-lucky boy who's inspired to be a homosexual lumberjack. One day when learning how to get double penetrated with dildos made out of sandpaper by a accomplished homosexual lumberjack (rumor has it that it's The Beast), he tells him that he got to where he's at due to a modship know as GiantBomb modship.

The next day Sweep went to the next best place to achieve the modship - a gay sex club. There he meets a former GiantBomb mod name Kush. Kush tells him about what he had to do to get it, and that's by kissing the mods/GiantBomb's ass. But Kush also warns Sweep about the aftermath of kissing ass for the modship. "It will descend you into madness!" says Kush. But the eager Sweep desperately replies: "It's my dream to be a homosexual lumberjack!"

After he learns the art of ass kissing from Kush. Sweep creates his account, and like any asshole user on GiantBomb, he trolls, spams, and ass kisses in the GiantBomb forums. The ass kissing he provided wasn't enough. Sweep grew weary, and sad the his dream wasn't going to come true, but he remained determined. Sweep knew that he has to have the right opportunity to prove his ass kissing-ness. So when GiantBomb unveiled the point system - a system that exploits every users as cattle to be milked off of for points - it angered a lot of the good users of GiantBomb. So Sweep's opportunity arrived, and posted a shameful blog about how amazing the points system is.

May not be an ass, but he's still kissing it.

Meanwhile at his bathroom tub,nude, covering himself with feces and taking photos of himself for his Facebook page, MB takes notice at Sweep's ass kissing:and says: "Wow! This guy is the biggest kiss ass since MattyFTM!" So MB looks through his past post, and like the other users that became a mod, MB ignores all the trolling and spamming that Sweeps has done and only focuses on the ass kissing. MB knew he was a perfect candidate so he gave him the mod status. It made Sweep very proud.

So Sweep is now a proud homosexual lumberjack getting fucked by many fellow lumberjacks before him. But what Kush warn him about was starting to get to Sweep. . . . . .

The end?

---

TWUUUUE WUUUUV~

I miss Kush. Whatever happened to that guy?

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Posted by Sweep

Somebody wrote this about the GB mods, specifically me I guess, and stuck it on the forums. I'm kind of impressed that I managed to piss someone off that they went to all this effort! If this is the sort of person we are banning then I guess this is vindication that I'm doing something right.

Anyway, enjoy:

After the success of Journey to Modship: MB Edition, I promise a lot of you a Sweep Edition of how he became a cunt like MB. Well here's the thing, I only have a few tid bits on Sweep, all I know that he kissed ass for modship despite trolling and spamming up the forums during his pre-mod days, but after speaking with Kush, I got everything I need to know.

Sweep was a happy-go-lucky boy who's inspired to be a homosexual lumberjack. One day when learning how to get double penetrated with dildos made out of sandpaper by a accomplished homosexual lumberjack (rumor has it that it's The Beast), he tells him that he got to where he's at due to a modship know as GiantBomb modship.

The next day Sweep went to the next best place to achieve the modship - a gay sex club. There he meets a former GiantBomb mod name Kush. Kush tells him about what he had to do to get it, and that's by kissing the mods/GiantBomb's ass. But Kush also warns Sweep about the aftermath of kissing ass for the modship. "It will descend you into madness!" says Kush. But the eager Sweep desperately replies: "It's my dream to be a homosexual lumberjack!"

After he learns the art of ass kissing from Kush. Sweep creates his account, and like any asshole user on GiantBomb, he trolls, spams, and ass kisses in the GiantBomb forums. The ass kissing he provided wasn't enough. Sweep grew weary, and sad the his dream wasn't going to come true, but he remained determined. Sweep knew that he has to have the right opportunity to prove his ass kissing-ness. So when GiantBomb unveiled the point system - a system that exploits every users as cattle to be milked off of for points - it angered a lot of the good users of GiantBomb. So Sweep's opportunity arrived, and posted a shameful blog about how amazing the points system is.

May not be an ass, but he's still kissing it.

Meanwhile at his bathroom tub,nude, covering himself with feces and taking photos of himself for his Facebook page, MB takes notice at Sweep's ass kissing:and says: "Wow! This guy is the biggest kiss ass since MattyFTM!" So MB looks through his past post, and like the other users that became a mod, MB ignores all the trolling and spamming that Sweeps has done and only focuses on the ass kissing. MB knew he was a perfect candidate so he gave him the mod status. It made Sweep very proud.

So Sweep is now a proud homosexual lumberjack getting fucked by many fellow lumberjacks before him. But what Kush warn him about was starting to get to Sweep. . . . . .

The end?

---

TWUUUUE WUUUUV~

I miss Kush. Whatever happened to that guy?

Moderator
Posted by rmanthorp

What the actual fuck? This has to be you that wrote this right? Who has that much time in their life to give that much of a shit?! This is straight up sociopath creepy. 10/10

Moderator
Posted by poisonmonkey

Thank god you and the other mods are here to weed out these people, thanks for the things you do peeps.

Posted by Fattony12000

Well, I would.

Posted by Elazul

Man, he started off so strong with the "inspired to be a homosexual lumberjack" thing, but just hammered it into the ground until the whole post just came off as a boring, poorly-written, vaguely-homophobic rant. 2 out of 5.

Posted by Sparklykiss

Wait. We have a secret lumberjack club and you guys never told me?

Assholes. :|

Moderator
Posted by AlexanderSheen

Wow... wow...

@Sparklykiss said:

Wait. We have a secret lumberjack club and you guys never told me? Assholes. :|

*whisper* Shhh... it's a secret.

Posted by JackSukeru

This is the first time I've been included in one of these crazy user mass PM's, now I truly feel like a part of this community.

Posted by ajamafalous
@RockmanBionics said:

This is the first time I've been included in one of these crazy user mass PM's, now I truly feel like a part of this community.

It's my second! 
 
 
The vindictive mod spam from this guy has gone from dumb to hilarious with how hard he's trying.
Posted by DeF

@rmanthorp said:

What the actual fuck? This has to be you that wrote this right? Who has that much time in their life to give that much of a shit?! This is straight up sociopath creepy. 10/10

nope, it's real. 'twas spread via mass-PM to a bunch of members.

Posted by jimmyfenix

why was this in my inbox ?

Posted by Video_Game_King

@Sparklykiss said:

Wait. We have a secret lumberjack club and you guys never told me? Assholes. :|

Don't worry; you're next. (Literally, you're next. That's what the PM promised.)

Posted by Sparky_Buzzsaw

Is it weird I want to see your hamburger dressed up as a lumberjack? Ohhhhh, sweet, sweet, lumberjack burger....

Moderator
Posted by dudeglove

No homo.

Posted by Enigma777

Not gonna lie. I'm looking forward to the Sparklykiss one.

Posted by ZombiePie

If you know your Giant Bomb history I was actually Kush's replacement and Marino and mracoon were brought in to do wiki moderation stuff (man how things have changed). If you wanted to know Kush actually left the site to manage his own commercial video game blog Pixelated Sausage which specializes in reviewing Xbox Live Indie Games.

Moderator
Posted by Sparklykiss

@Video_Game_King said:

@Sparklykiss said:

Wait. We have a secret lumberjack club and you guys never told me? Assholes. :|

Don't worry; you're next. (Literally, you're next. That's what the PM promised.)

@Enigma777 said:

Not gonna lie. I'm looking forward to the Sparklykiss one.

I'm not even in that PM, so... Jokes on that guy~

Moderator
Posted by Sparky_Buzzsaw

@ZombiePie: I was curious about that. You'd think he'd pop in now and again and advertise. I'd never even heard of it until now.

Moderator
Posted by Video_Game_King

@Sparklykiss:

He was banned, so just wait a few months and he'll create a new account and write a fanfiction about you being a homosexual lumberjack, too, or something.

Posted by AlexanderSheen

@Video_Game_King said:

@Sparklykiss:

He was banned, so just wait a few months and he'll create a new account and write a fanfiction about you being a homosexual lumberjack, too, or something.

I had lesbian lumberjack fantasies before... what?

Posted by dvdhaus

It's kind of weird reading this on Sweep's page with all those eyes staring at me....

Posted by _Zombie_

@Sparklykiss said:

Wait. We have a secret lumberjack club and you guys never told me? Assholes. :|

We didn't know if we could trust you with the secret.

Posted by ArbitraryWater

Aw man. I didn't get this one. I certainly got the last one. It's ok Sweep. I think you abuse your power appropriately!

Do we know who this guy is? Is it the vengeful ghost of Hitman? The Wii Defense Force back to undermine us all? That one guy who really liked Street Fighter III?

Posted by Fallen189

You sure do love your attention

Posted by Sweep

@Fallen189 said:

You sure do love your attention

I love that you keep giving it to me.

Moderator
Posted by MariachiMacabre

Oh god that's hilariously sad. You must have locked one too many of their threads. Mod hate is the funniest/saddest thing on these forums. HitmanAgent47, you are missed.

Posted by Virago

Aww somebody LOVES you! Does this have to do with that PM that went out a few days ago? I agree though, where did Kush go?

Posted by Slag

That was strange.

Somebody clearly has too much free time on their hands!

honestly I have no clue why anyone would ever want to mod. Pretty thankless job.

Posted by Thordain

If no one ever gave you shit Sweep, you'd get cocky. YOU GOT TOO BIG SWEEP, PEOPLE GOTTA KNOCK YOU DOWN SOME NOTCHES!!!

Posted by Sweep

*Throws rock *

Moderator