So, what happens when you reverse Cookie Monster? Something fantastic, that's what!

That has nothing to do with today's reviews, I just wanted to post it up here. Two for you today, because I'm tired and have to leave to work shortly. But hey, it's the weekend! Almost! Hooray!

Faxanadu

A little background

Oh man, somebody really went crazy with the sharpie on that one. Wanted to make sure everybody knew you owned it forever, huh? Until it showed up at the used game store, I guess.

Faxanadu is a Hudson Soft joint (makers of such fine products as Adventure Island and Bomberman), released in August of 1989. It's a classic story of Elves vs Dwarves, and the people stuck in the middle. It's a classic action RPG in the vein of Zelda 2, The Battle of Olympus or (shudder) 8 Eyes. This is also a game I wanted for a really long time but could never find a copy in stores, so when one showed up (even with a ruined label) I still had to pick it up.

First impressions last forever

This game is really, really brown. Lots of dark browns and muddy greens here. It also looks like the world graphics of Zelda 2 had a baby with the UI from 8 Eyes. Which I guess can be good or bad depending on what you like.

The game has solid controls, though, and I like the music. It's also extremely difficult.

But as I played further...

Faxanadu is widely considered a cult classic, but I just think it's ok. Don't get me wrong; it isn't bad by any means, it's just...really hard. It's hard, ok? Lots of level grinding, lots of people to talk to, lots of stuff to buy, lots of dying; you get the point. The action RPG elements help make it so the grind isn't as tedious, and I do like the various locations you can explore and the little quirks the game has to offer. For example, you can buy "titles" (like "Warrior," etc.) from a title...selling guy, and then flaunt these titles around town to get people to give you money. Yeah, it's weird, but that's Faxanadu!

Part of me thinks this game could have been better than Zelda II if only they'd put more effort into it, but after several hours I'm just sort of lukewarm to the whole game. Though I do like it a bit better than The Battle of Olympus, it still didn't quite suck me in.

So what's the conclusion?

I still think Faxanadu is worth getting, especially if you're a fan of Zelda II. While the game is very brown (what a muted color pallet!) and also very hard, it's a classic action RPG that still manages to do just about everything right. If you're into those kinds of games, and want a long, action-rpg quest with plenty of locations to visit and enemies to kill, you could do a lot worse than Faxanadu.

Copies (if you can find them) are usually $10 or less.

Fester's Quest

A little background

Sunsoft, you tards. Sometimes you make really good games, like Batman and Blaster Master. And sometimes you make total, undefendable trash, like Fester's Quest.

Obviously based on the Addams Family, Fester's Quest was forcefully ejected into the world by Sunsoft in September of 1989. It's interesting to note that the overhead engine used for most of the game was the same engine used for the overhead sections in Blaster Master, as this game came after Blaster Master. Why it's still so horrible after they made that excellent game is beyond me.

Also, he should probably do something about that spider on his head. Just sayin.

First impressions last forever

For using the Blaster Master engine, this game looks hideous. Fester is like a black mound of round pixels, and the enemies are either unidentifiable objects or toads. The controls aren't half bad (probably, again, because of the Blaster Master engine) but the power-ups are just awful. The wave gun doesn't pass through anything, so if you're in an enclosed space the shots just...go away! Who designed this?

But as I played further...

There are I guess one or two interesting things about Festers Quest. The big one being the 3D rooms when you go inside houses. Those are actually kind of cool, even if the rooms are completely empty mazes. I guess.

It seems I only had one nice thing to say, not two. This game is trash. Complete and utter trash.

So what's the conclusion?

I have a weird knack for buying games AVGN references because frequently I think he's wrong about them (for example, Jaws really isn't that awful), but he nailed this one right on the head: Fester's Quest is just not a good game. Even for curiosity, it isn't worth picking up. You'll play it for a few seconds, get annoyed, and quit. This is one of the few instances I'd suggest trying it first on an emulator before buying it, because the two minutes you spend playing it will be enough to last you the rest of your life.

It's a mess, don't buy it, don't look at it, don't acknowledge its existence.

Copies are too much, whatever the price.