Hey, I'm not a psychologist. But, while the thoughts may be different, I recognize the feelings, and I think you might be talking about clinical depression. I'm not qualified to diagnose that, but...
Seriously, go to your primary. Tell them whats up, and they may give you something that may help. Then make an appointment with a therapist and a psychiatrist. If you can, before anything else, talk to your family and tell them you're afraid you may be depressed, and have them help you.
Not being satisfied with your life, with your situation? Normal. A choking cloud of negative emotions, sapping your will and energy that you could use to change it, combined with a haunting voice whenever you're not distracted that always tells you things can never get be as you wish they could and whispering that that's your fault? That's not normal, and it doesn't have to be that way. I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. I speak from experience.
Seriously, please consider this. Things can get better.