KILL SWITCH
By TrashMustache 2 Comments
A much needed introduction
Like so many other things I saw on tv, as a kid, Seagal was around somewhere in my subconcious. I used to watch him in his early movies, breaking bones, it looked cool. Later on, I would see parts of his direct-to-video movies on tv but didn't pay attention. Years later, after seeing Kill Switch I became completely obsessed with his works, especially his straight-to-dvd stuff.
I first saw Kill Switch with my uncle, who had once bought it on Blu Ray, had watched it and had never spoken to me about it. In retrospect It made me wonder why anyone would buy anything Seagal makes, let alone on blu ray, and why he didn't feel the need to mention that this movie is one the most fantastic pieces of shit ever made. My enjoyment was (and still is) purely ironic in nature, but it made me fall to the floor crying tears of laughter. At the time that I wrote the film review, which was about a year ago, I was the only person to have done so on the internet. I felt a bit proud, maybe that's why I took it upon myself to nurture his movies.
Yes, Seriously:
My Ideas for Kill Switch: The Game
Since I can't believe there are no Steven Seagal games (there was one in development for the SNES but it got canceled) here's my two cents based on this movie:
Kill Switch: The game would most definitely feature FMV cut-scenes, while the actual gameplay could be a sidescroller in which the character moves by skipping frames while being able to switch to a first person view. Seagal's mission could be to find the killer of his twin brother Daniel, a storyline that is completely redundant in the movie, and in order to do so he has to beat the shit out of his enemies. Beating an enemy would require 100 punches and/or kicks. However, with your hard earned cash, you could hire stunt doubles to ease this task, but you'll have to use them strategically as you can only use 5 max over the course of the game.
At the end of the stage you get to relax in your home and figure out the clues to the killer's location in a puzzle mini game in which you'd have to solve astrology riddles. You'd also get bonus points for neglecting your girlfriend and for hitting the "Lord Have Mercy" catchphrase prompts which are hidden throughout the game. Preferably, the game would require the use of a Move controller or other peripheral, in order to really be immersed in the beating the shit experience. Something similar to The Fight: Lights Out. The game could also feature a two player mode in which the second player has to edit player one's camera angles in real time. Or Maybe it could be closer to Stay Dead, a title he yet has to use for one of his movies.
2 Comments