By TrashMustache 4 Comments
Nostalgia is one of the most powerful feelings and it can impair a person psychologically. It is one of the most useless feelings in the world. It does nothing for you, except distract and hurt you. Other people, colder people, often feel wiser or smarter than the person who speaks nostalgically. They gather information from the outspoken nature of said nostalgic person but cancel out all of the emotion that triggers the person to speak out in the first place. They do not try to understand someone emotionally, but intellectually. They treat you like a math problem and try to solve you and your problem logically.
These people are most likely your best friends.
Nostalgia is not a choice. Depression is not a way of life. To people like me, it is frightening to realize that some people will never understand this. In my teenage years I pitied my self constantly, thinking I was a victim and in certain ways, I was, but it took me years to realize, that logical reasoning Is something I had not been gifted with. The people who were supposed to be emotionally and intellectually invested in me, never saw this flaw in me. I needed to become my own balance. You cannot rely on someone who's too emotional, but you cannot trust someone who thinks only in logical terms. One day, I woke up, literally, and I haven't felt sorry for myself ever since. Those same people would say, It's good that I left depression behind. The truth is, I didn't do anything, I didn't choose anything. I believe my mind acted out of self preservation and did not include me in the process. For that I am fortunate, but many people don't enjoy the same fate.
Some people accept this life. They accept that they were conceived and that they will one day die. Others obsess over existence and question it constantly. The former group of people feel wiser for this reason but in what aspect? To become wiser, you have to gain knowledge. But these people are frauds to wisdom and to emotion. They did not gain anything, they just assume their logic way of thinking grants them complete wisdom. They live in between themselves, picking their intellectual battles and use emotion as a trick up their sleeve for when their intellect fails them, but how can someone who does not question existence claim to know the answers to your life?
I don't congratulate my nostalgia, It just creeps up on me.
A few months ago I played through the Metal Gear HD collection, but was especially excited to play MGS2. While playing I felt emptiness. I started to remember my former self in the days I first played the game. I remembered the times I spent with the game, the accompanying memories of friends, hopes, dreams, even the smell of certain foods. I couldn't adjust to the reality I was in and I realized something about my present. Ever since the day I woke up, I did not move forward. I started to analyze details of my life from that moment on and realized that all I am constantly trying to do, is relive my past, re-create emotions, chasing dreams but never materializing them. I felt like I was gravitating towards an empty dimension. To A place where nothing exists, a place where I don't exist.
These HD collections capitalize on that one feeling. Nostalgia. But what's there to be gained?