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TrashMustache

Virtua Davis

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Sell Me A Dream: Stigma, Emotion, Logic and Escapism

Nostalgia is one of the most powerful feelings and it can impair a person psychologically. It is one of the most useless feelings in the world. It does nothing for you, except distract and hurt you. Other people, colder people, often feel wiser or smarter than the person who speaks nostalgically. They gather information from the outspoken nature of said nostalgic person but cancel out all of the emotion that triggers the person to speak out in the first place. They do not try to understand someone emotionally, but intellectually. They treat you like a math problem and try to solve you and your problem logically.

These people are most likely your best friends.

Nostalgia is not a choice. Depression is not a way of life. To people like me, it is frightening to realize that some people will never understand this. In my teenage years I pitied my self constantly, thinking I was a victim and in certain ways, I was, but it took me years to realize, that logical reasoning Is something I had not been gifted with. The people who were supposed to be emotionally and intellectually invested in me, never saw this flaw in me. I needed to become my own balance. You cannot rely on someone who's too emotional, but you cannot trust someone who thinks only in logical terms. One day, I woke up, literally, and I haven't felt sorry for myself ever since. Those same people would say, It's good that I left depression behind. The truth is, I didn't do anything, I didn't choose anything. I believe my mind acted out of self preservation and did not include me in the process. For that I am fortunate, but many people don't enjoy the same fate.

Some people accept this life. They accept that they were conceived and that they will one day die. Others obsess over existence and question it constantly. The former group of people feel wiser for this reason but in what aspect? To become wiser, you have to gain knowledge. But these people are frauds to wisdom and to emotion. They did not gain anything, they just assume their logic way of thinking grants them complete wisdom. They live in between themselves, picking their intellectual battles and use emotion as a trick up their sleeve for when their intellect fails them, but how can someone who does not question existence claim to know the answers to your life?

I don't congratulate my nostalgia, It just creeps up on me.

A few months ago I played through the Metal Gear HD collection, but was especially excited to play MGS2. While playing I felt emptiness. I started to remember my former self in the days I first played the game. I remembered the times I spent with the game, the accompanying memories of friends, hopes, dreams, even the smell of certain foods. I couldn't adjust to the reality I was in and I realized something about my present. Ever since the day I woke up, I did not move forward. I started to analyze details of my life from that moment on and realized that all I am constantly trying to do, is relive my past, re-create emotions, chasing dreams but never materializing them. I felt like I was gravitating towards an empty dimension. To A place where nothing exists, a place where I don't exist.

These HD collections capitalize on that one feeling. Nostalgia. But what's there to be gained?

4 Comments

4 Comments

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fattony12000

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Edited By fattony12000

@TrashMustache: REGRET NOTHING! Everything we do we learn from, that's one of the best things about having a brain! It sounds to me like you have some unresolved feelings or thoughts on some bad things that happened in the past. 'Working through' these tricky issues is not the same as trying to repress or conceal them. However, I don't really know what I'm talking about, so keep on doin' what you do.

Peace.

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TrashMustache

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Edited By TrashMustache

@Fattony12000: It's a day later now and I really regret posting this blog. It makes me look suicidal and I didn't intend to say that HD collections are crap. In fact they are exactly like you say, very handy go-to packages and I could have mentioned that I think MGS2 is still excellent and that it was indeed cool to see the game in HD and earn trophies. but I was also hurt by the memories it brought up and was in a dark place in general yesterday, needless to say. I'll keep the blog posted for "historical" purposes, and I thank you for reminding me that nostalgia isn't necessarily a bad thing.

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fattony12000

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Edited By fattony12000

@TrashMustache: They also give some of us (not me, in the case of Metal Gear, I already own what I need) the opportunity to check out older games in a better resolution and frame rate than they were originally released in. Or on a more convenient, centralised system (with just a PS3 you can experience all those Metal Gear games from 1987 to 2010, without having to dig out your MSX2). Although these collections can of course be fucked up in some cases (Silent Hill), on the whole it's just another way for a company to sell more product, product that has already been created, and just needs a little polishing up. I believe that these collections capitalize on capitalism, mostly.

This is, however, an interesting and thoughtful post that you've created. But I would disagree with the notion that HD collections solely exploit nostalgia, and furthermore that nostalgia is, in and of itself, negative.

It does not seem to have treated you well, however. And that's a damn shame.

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TrashMustache

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Edited By TrashMustache

Nostalgia is one of the most powerful feelings and it can impair a person psychologically. It is one of the most useless feelings in the world. It does nothing for you, except distract and hurt you. Other people, colder people, often feel wiser or smarter than the person who speaks nostalgically. They gather information from the outspoken nature of said nostalgic person but cancel out all of the emotion that triggers the person to speak out in the first place. They do not try to understand someone emotionally, but intellectually. They treat you like a math problem and try to solve you and your problem logically.

These people are most likely your best friends.

Nostalgia is not a choice. Depression is not a way of life. To people like me, it is frightening to realize that some people will never understand this. In my teenage years I pitied my self constantly, thinking I was a victim and in certain ways, I was, but it took me years to realize, that logical reasoning Is something I had not been gifted with. The people who were supposed to be emotionally and intellectually invested in me, never saw this flaw in me. I needed to become my own balance. You cannot rely on someone who's too emotional, but you cannot trust someone who thinks only in logical terms. One day, I woke up, literally, and I haven't felt sorry for myself ever since. Those same people would say, It's good that I left depression behind. The truth is, I didn't do anything, I didn't choose anything. I believe my mind acted out of self preservation and did not include me in the process. For that I am fortunate, but many people don't enjoy the same fate.

Some people accept this life. They accept that they were conceived and that they will one day die. Others obsess over existence and question it constantly. The former group of people feel wiser for this reason but in what aspect? To become wiser, you have to gain knowledge. But these people are frauds to wisdom and to emotion. They did not gain anything, they just assume their logic way of thinking grants them complete wisdom. They live in between themselves, picking their intellectual battles and use emotion as a trick up their sleeve for when their intellect fails them, but how can someone who does not question existence claim to know the answers to your life?

I don't congratulate my nostalgia, It just creeps up on me.

A few months ago I played through the Metal Gear HD collection, but was especially excited to play MGS2. While playing I felt emptiness. I started to remember my former self in the days I first played the game. I remembered the times I spent with the game, the accompanying memories of friends, hopes, dreams, even the smell of certain foods. I couldn't adjust to the reality I was in and I realized something about my present. Ever since the day I woke up, I did not move forward. I started to analyze details of my life from that moment on and realized that all I am constantly trying to do, is relive my past, re-create emotions, chasing dreams but never materializing them. I felt like I was gravitating towards an empty dimension. To A place where nothing exists, a place where I don't exist.

These HD collections capitalize on that one feeling. Nostalgia. But what's there to be gained?