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trulyalive

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"What's Guitar Hero...?"

"Well, you uhh...I mean, I guess that you...I...plech?"

That was pretty much my response to that question at work today. I think my chances of being kept on at the Game store after Thursday are very, very slim...

3 Comments

Reflections on 'Symposium Part One: Review Scores'

Firstly, for anyone avoiding the piece, it's right here and I suggest you read it. Not because this blog won't make sense otherwise, more because it's actually a really fantastic combination of opinions on a specific matter that eventually branches out to cover so much more. It's my favourite type of discussion, the kind that stays true to it's original content whilst branching out whilst still retaining a sense of authenticity and without becoming stale.
I'm not meaning to harp on too much about how well it was written but there really wasn't a null point in there, it was an excellent example of discussion.

Right, now I'll get down to my opinions on the content of the symposium itself.
Review Scores aren't necessarily crucial, but they do seem to hold a secure place within the industry as we know it. It's actually kind of closed-minded to infer that the reviewing side of the industry can't change or expand, but as is proven repeatedly throughout the Symposium, there are a great deal of people within this...culture of ours that aren't ready to give up on scores.

I actually, kind of feel that the debate about review scores on the whole is kind of null and I always seem to groan a bit whenever Tycho from Penny Arcade or Yahtzee from Zero Punctuation exclaims that they don't believe a diverse opinion can be expressed numerically. Seriously, though, I think a part of that is because I'd assumed we all knew that already and had simply moved on with our lives. I've heard some people claiming a review isn't a review without a score, but it is. Although I mentioned the industry isn't ready for change, I rather meant that it's not ready for widespread change all across the board. We have room for variety and there are plenty of reviews scouring the internet (and I'm sure a few physical magazine publications) who feel no need to accompany their text with scores. That's cool. Personally, I am one of the few people who doesn't really mind whether a review has a score or not because if I check the score, then I tend to read the review anyway, and as long as the review is well-written and justifies it's criticisms, I'm content.

Admittedly, I don't read every review out there, it would be impossible. I don't even read every review on Giant Bomb, I tend to reserve the time it takes to read only the reviews for games that have taken my interest. Some may think that prudish, but frankly, the reviews aren't all there written just for me, and I've little doubt that a website with so large a community as ours will have some people out there who are a potential audience who will be ready to read it, The amount of comments each review recieves certainly suggests so.
Yes, I do watch every video review, but that's mostly for Vinny's editing if I'm not interested in the game, so I suppose that that's neither here nor there, although it is interesting to note that the video reviews don't recieve scores and they remain fairly popular (although I suppose those desperate for a score are only two clicks away from finding the written review).

My main train of thought behind my reasoning of Review Score Debate being redundant however, is actually one that I've never heard anybody else express before. Most people don't feel that a complex opinion about a video-game, an interactive experience, can be summed up by a number. Fair enough. But personally, I don't feel that a complex opinion about a video-game, an interactive experience, can be summed up by words either. Don't get me wrong, reviewers tend to do a fine job at approaching their work and even attempting to write a review about a video-game is admirable and can point a person in the right direction. The key word here, though, is Interactive and it's the interactivity that sets video-games apart from any other medium of media, except maybe seeing a live show and even then it's a rare and sketchy argument. I have a great deal of trouble believing that I can sum up all the flavours, all the tiny little...emotions I experience and savour during a video-game session in any form of worded article or argument and I don't believe that anybody can truly achieve such a feat.
Suggest it's because I'm a bad writer, it may be the case but this is what I think on the matter. I suppose it comes perilously close to arguing that video-games are art, which I'll avoid for the time being but experiencing video-games evokes a barrage of feelings in me and I've never yet been able to put a feeling into words that I've been able to appreciate as much as the emotion itself.

--

See, this very symposium is why I love living in the 'Now' of video games. We're all aware that we're a new culture to the world, niche at best but this sort of argument shows that we're growing. It's at a point where professionals in the field are starting to be recognised on a widespread basis and they can, for the most part, experiment, try new things, like a symposium, referring to their own field. I've expressed before how much of an exciting time to it is to be a part of a community in this field and it's times like these that I like to be reminded that it's not just our one little community here at Giant Bomb, it's an entire culture.

B[o]ut.

P.S. I read that damned symposium in an hour and half which just feels too fast ;_;

4 Comments

"Your taste sucks." The inevitable Music Blog Pt. 1

So, I just got back from a Fratellis gig at the Engine Shed. It was good and I felt compelled to do some writing. So lets get to it:

R.E.M.

Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R.E.M.
Most known for: Michael Stipe
Been going since: 1980
I don't know whether this is artistic, or just damn creepy...
I don't know whether this is artistic, or just damn creepy...
Chances are, unless you've been living under a very quiet and boring rock for the past 28 years, you've heard of R.E.M.[.]
This band, hailing from Athens, Georgia, US, are often considered one of the best bands of today (usually compared with and spoken in the same breath as U2). They were also the first band I ever saw play live.
Twice.
So it was a good 4-5 years ago and my parents decided that it was time to really bring my sister and I into the music scene that they so cherished and loved. We'd all heard and appreciated the same music, but when my parents learned that R.E.M. were playing just a few hours away from home they decided not to go alone but to bring us as well. Even today, I appreciate that because as surreal as the experience was, it was also very important to my growth as a person, the growth of my musical appreciation and as well as that it was fucking awesome.
Arriving in Sheffield, we were pumped. We did some shopping during the day, ate a nice meal as the sun settled into the horizon and waited patiently in the que for only 30 or so minutes. Sitting down, we listened to the support act and chatted with those sitting next to us. They were nice people.
Then with not even a dimming of the lights, Michael Stipe wanders onto stage. Some cheer, some freak out. Most just wonder to themselves if this is how R.E.M. 'kickstart' every show. Apparently, it wasn't.
Michael thanks us all for coming down but it's not long until he's explaining that the show won't be taking place. Bassist Mike Mills is feeling particularly ill and isn't able to perform. There's a slither of laughter as the audience catch onto the joke that isn't there; Michael is serious. It's only a few moments before a women in front of me is breaking down: "This is the second time I've come to see them and both times they've had to cancel.". At the time I felt her pain...now I think she was funny as hell.
Dissapointment rings thick in the air, but Michael, God bless him, is a tremendous sport. He brings out Peter Buck who's sporting an acoustic guitar and the two of them slam out a half dozen of R.E.M.'s classics before saying that the show is to be re-arranged and we'll all be admitted as long as we have our tickets.
So two months later, we find ourselves in the same stadium, same seats, with the same drinks and the same food. We've had another good day in Sheffield and we're ready to see one of the worlds greatest bands play a great show, and they really do not disapoint. The lyrics bind with the music in a fashion that only a true artist of the highest pedigree can truly conjure up. Michael's banter with the audience is both funny and endearing, and there is little that has touched me more than Michael commenting on his discontent with the American Government before launching into a rendition of Final Straw.
Quite a few feel that Around the Sun was a weak R.E.M. album but I loved it, I loved the Around the Sun tour, twice and although no song will top some of R.E.M.'s classics, their combination of past hits and present chart toppers was an experience I wouldn't trade in for anything.

Favourite Song: Losing My Religion (1991)
  


Tenacious D

Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tenacious_D
Most known for: Rocking out! or Jack Black...
Been going since: 1994
Truly two Kings to be marvelled.
Truly two Kings to be marvelled.
It feels odd to follow up a band so phenomonal in their talent as R.E.M. with such a niche little rock-core band such as Tenacious D. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if half of you haven't even heard of Tenacious D. That said...if you've never heard of them before, now you have no excuse. If you don't listen to them then you're missing out on life and have only yourself to blame. Trust me.
This two-man band from Los Angeles, California is truly a band of kings. Doubly so as they are often referred to as Two Kings or sometimes simply 'the D'.
The bands music has a tendency to be as obscure as the bands name (a name which nobody really seems to understand) but Black's charisma and Gass's frantic, yet masterful playing of the guitar (usually acoustic) see the D through even the darkest of times. When the D aren't singing about getting high, or dominating a crumbling society, their main target seems to be the genre of Rock and all it's subsidiaries including, but not limited to: metal, heavy, techno, indie, jazz, blues, screamo, etc. One of the most attractive qualities that our beloved Two Kings use to their advantage is their appreciation to the history and art of good Rock and the feeling that these two fat slobs love rock just as much as you bridges the gap between listener and superstar. It's easy to forget that Jack Black is one of Hollywood's biggest names when he's screaming about the incredulous invention he's come up with to furthur the skill of Rock singers everywhere.
My memories of seeing the D are shaky and hectic. I was undergoing my Drama GCSE (that's a big compulsory UK examination) at school and found out that a teacher was selling Tenacious D tickets. The next week I finished my final examination, hopped in the back of my friend Dave's car with two other friends, Kelly and James and we began an epic 3 hour journey to Blackpool in order to see them. I should have been exhausted, having just finished such an important exam, but I was pumped. This was the D and I was going to savour it.
When we got to the stadium, we were greeted by, of all things, a standup comic as our support act. If anyone has ever seen the Tenacious D movie...yeah. Same guy. He had an odd habit of slating the audience and convincing us all to shout 'Cranberry Sauce' at the top of our voices before he left. And he threw coins at us. That hurt...
Eventually, Gass and Black made their way on stage, a stage that had been set up to look like an apartment and I was treated to the greatest show of my life. Not a gig...not a concert...they didn't just sing their back catalogue, they put on a performance. Literally, an entire story in which JB and KG got killed, went to hell and met up with Colonel Sanders and the Anti-Christ and started a rockband in Hell, before defeating Satan. I shit you not, it was easily the most genius thing I have ever seen in my life.
The music, as expected was great, but there was something about seeing Kyle slam down the riffs on an open stage, and seeing Jack sing "I do not need a microphone" whilst throwing away a microphone that made it all so much more compelling. It was obvious Jack had a headset so he could continue to sing, but hell, sometimes the magic is too strong to be killed by a few facts. It may not have been the best concert of my life, but there's no doubt in my mind that it was the best stage production.

Favourite Song: Rock Your Socks (2001) *editors note:* If I have one complaint about TD's setlist, it's that this track was omitted.
  

However, I am willing to admit that Master Exploder (2006) is also an immense song worthy of space on your iPod/mp3 player.
  


Snow Patrol

Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snow_Patrol
Most known for: Chasing Cars (20006)
Been going since: 1994
Trust me, they aren't emo. They are good.
Trust me, they aren't emo. They are good.
I have to admit, Snow Patrol took some time to grow on me. They're such a great band though, that advertisers seemed to have a habit of getting to their best songs before I did. Run, from their 2003 album, Final Straw was picked up immensely over here in the UK and I never really appreciated it until 2006's Eyes Open. Same deal with Chasing Cars, which picked up massive publicity in the US, and the world over. However, it's impossible to deny their passion for their music.
I saw Snow Patrol during their Eyes Open tour and walking in, I didn't appreciate the Irish/Scottish band at all. Walking out, I certainly did.
This was another family gig, with my Mom, Dad and Sister accompanying me. The support act was a then little known band called The Young Knives, who I'd actually been keeping track of. They gave the evening a good start by playing fantastically. But you know how it is. Somehow the support act never quite matches up to the band or artist you're going to see.
It's odd but there was nothing about the show that stood out as amazing, rather just the sheer tightness of the production. The band performed and they sounded perfect, the lights were incredible and probably most importantly there was a real sense of atmosphere to the arena. See, I've always said that skill and atmosphere are two different things. You can play a song and play it well, perfectly even, but if there's no sense of atmosphere, you're just a dude with a guitar, or a microphone, or a drum, or a theramin (all those of you who don't know what a theramin is, Google it). To really nail a concert experience you need to be able to play well and nail the atmosphere. Sometimes, the atmosphere can beat out the playing, so if you're playing badly it might not seem so bad or even be noticeable. Not only did Snow Patrol play well, they hit the atmosphere and they hit it hard. They showed themselves as a Rock Band and got the audience going as well. They got me going and I was cynical as hell walking in. Atmosphere can do a lot of weird things.
Something else, also worth noting is that Snow Patrol has a strong roster of songs to back up their skill and atmosphere. I mentioned how Run and Chasing Cars became somewhat overused, even slightly trite and cheap, but at the heart of the music, they're really good songs. All it takes is an unbiased perspective and you'd be surprised just how decent a lot of songs you'd written off as over-used really are.
So, I was happy with the show. More than happy even. The experience I will forever remember about Snow Patrol's gig is how they just turned me onto their music. There was actually a moment two songs in when I felt something click and realised that i was really enjoying the show. That I really liked this band.
It's the little moments that have been known to make a difference, that stay with you until the day you die and that no-one can ever take away from you, no matter how hard they try. All of these bands, all of these gigs have had their special moments (well, most of them...) but Snow Patrol's moment lasts with me because it was so small, so subtle and so impossible to miss that it was evidently genuine. It's the little moments that can't be faked.

Favourite song: Set the FIre to the Third Bar (2006)
  


Wow. This turned out longer than I expected, and I'm only 1/3rd of the way through. I would finish now but caps lock is stuck, so i have to hold down the shift key, which makes proper grammar and punctuation increasingly difficult. Tomorrow, once I've sussed out my keyboard, I'll get on pt. 2.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading ^_^
B[o]ut.
11 Comments

Babes, Babes and more Babes! / Platforming Fall

Yes, the title was intended as a double entendre. Yes, I am aware it was not a very good pun. Yes, it's true: I suck.

Allow me to give you the debriefing of exactly what I've been doing since my last blogophon. I've been gaming.
Big fucking surprise, considering this is a gaming website. I wonder if I can get any more obvious, like, I don't know...explaining the above play on words...?
...Yeah, looks like I can: This Fall* I've been playing Platformers. All titles are for the Xbox 360, the run down is as follows:

  • Mirror's Edge
    Cyber Babe
    Cyber Babe
  • Tomb Raider Underworld
Raider Babe
Raider Babe
  • Prince of Persia
Manly...Babe?
Manly...Babe?












So first things first: Mirror's Edge. I want it to be known across the land that this isn't a First-Person Action Adventure game, it's a First-Person Platformer. You run, you jump from platform to platform: It's a platformer. And an adequate one at that...but that's all there is to say in summary. It's adequate but it never really hits it's peak. I enjoyed the campaign but the time trials are naught but a pain that really put me off revisiting the game in the near future. I suppose the only reason I'll play it again is to beat it on Hard with guns.

So far, I've played through the game twice, the first time on Normal and I was aiming to get the Test of Faith achievement. For those amongst you who aren't aware of what this is, basically you don't shoot anyone. So I did it. All the way up to the last level. Then in the server room (yeah, you guys who have played the game know what I mean...) some guy leaps out at me.I fired the gun to shoot out the server and he gets in the way.
I have to admit, I was devastated. I started wondering if the guy had a wife, a child, maybe a pregnant girlfriend with a set of quintuplets on the way. I had a dream that night that I (as Faith, naturally) broke into the morgue and checked his fingers for some level of reassurance that he wasn't married.  He had no ring, so I decided to just steal whatever money he had in his wallet...but oh...as I checked his pockets...oh...I found...an engagement ring...OH THE HUMANITY ;_;
Anyway, after that heart breaking experience, I played a speed run on Easy in order to get the Test of Faith achievement and ploughed through the game in 1 hour and 45 minutes.

...

Moving swiftly along: Tomb Raider Underworld. Here is where if we were speaking face-to-face I would sigh. And not the 'Oh, that Lara Croft, she gets me off every evening.' kind of sigh (and you'll never hear that sigh because it doesn't exist...seriously o_O;). Much more the sigh that evokes feelings of adequate fulfillment, yet hollowing emptiness all at once.
Tomb Raider Underworld is a good game. It's got a decent plot and better dialogue than Tomb Raider Legend had. And some of the puzzles are actually kind of hard, which is nice to see in a series that is touted as a puzzle/platformer that usually finds itself late to work and forgets to bring the puzzle element of the experience to the office (not unlike how I can never remember my name badge...) but unfortunately that is around about where the praise stops. No wait, sorry, the graphical design is beautiful. But that's where the praise stops.
The level design rarely integrates the puzzles well and most of the annoying features of previous games is still here. Nothing particularly new in terms of gameplay, same old broken camera, the fact that Lara must secretly be that cop from Mirror's Edge that really wants to die, given how often she jumps south when I'm pointing North. I just don't understand this woman's death wish, it's inane, insane and excruciatingly frustrating
I suppose I can let her off because she's a total babe, although there will always be something unsettling about the girl of your dreams wielding what you are led to believe is a God's hammer, despite it looking like a hatchet. I suppose it's a good job this is just a video-game rather than real life-imagery because I would be feeling all weird inside were she not a digitally rendered computer graphics display. Not the good kind of weird either.

...I have got to stop finishing paragraphs on awkward moments. Maybe I should try starting one on an awkward moment instead...

So I'm in love with the Prince of Persia. Yeah. That will just about do it.
PoP's Real Babe ...Ancient Babe?
PoP's Real Babe ...Ancient Babe?

In all seriousness though...I don't like Men. I'd take Elika over the Prince any day and not just because she is the real babe of the game. More because she is probably my favourite gaming mechanic of the year.
That's right, screw your Dog, Fable. Screw your Mortar, Gears. Screw your Zombies, L4D (a: I don't know why the first 3 I thought of were X360 exclusives and b: I am thoroughly aware that all the images composed by this sentence are messed up.)
See, at first, I hated the thought of Prince of Persia, one of my favourite gaming franchises (thanks in large part to The Sands of Time trilogy) being tainted by a No Death sort of system, but as I came to play it, I realised it's just a checkpoint system without the loading screens and an excellent way to explain how the Prince can mess up the same trap so many times without dying and somehow being ressurected.
And then I became completely forgiving because this system gave way to what is perhaps my favourite Boss Battle/Puzzle since you had to face off against Psycho Mantis in MGS1. That's a bold claim to throw around and I know that not many people will agree with me, but I thought it was clever and enchanting. You'll see when you get there.

I don't want to say a great deal more about any of these games, because hopefully I'll be finding time to write up a review for each soon.
I am particularly broke so I won't be playing anything else until after Christmas and because of my last minute Prince of Persia purchase, it looks like Mom is going to have to go without a present this year. Sorry Mom!

In Non game related news: Both jobs are going ok, I crashed my moped last week and cut my legs up to fuck and my iPod is broke and I can't afford to buy a new one until after Christmas when I am going to be in debt and will already have a Gaming Chair, a Wii and about 15 games on the "To be purchased" list already. Great.


Anyway, thanks for stopping by.

B[o]ut.
10 Comments

Immersion, IMMERSION, MOTHERFUCKING IMMERSION!!

"Don't you get it...THERE'S NO HUD!"
Is it just me or is the whole aim for every developer to make their games immersive starting to get a little bit fucking old?
Don't get me wrong, 5 months ago when the Dead Space hype machine was just turning it's first gears and we heard about the immersive qualities attributed to the lack of a HUD we all took it in, mostly because we were all sort of preoccupied with the spectacular levels of gore which was naturally coupled by the notion of strategic dismemberment, but now the whole idea is just getting silly.
I suppose it doesn't feel fair to criticize Peter Molyneux and the Fable series for constantly touting the ever increasing realism in the games as an immersive quality, seeing as they've been milking that cashcow forever and there's little likelihood of them ever stopping but it gets to a point where people spending a year telling you how immersive their game is and how you'll be so immersed in the immersibly immersive experience of immersibility that it starts to detract from the actual experience. You pop the game in, play 5 or so humdrum minutes before realising "Hey, what the fuck, I know I'm playing a video game, those fuckers lied to me."
The audience isn't stupid (well, most of the audience isn't stupid) and no matter how well you try to disguise the fact that your video game is in fact just a form of electronic media we're going to pick up on it.
Hell, even Neo the computer spaz from The Matrix picked up on that virtual reality simulator and if he can notice that sort of facade then why do developers constantly think we'll be suckered into believing that we
"I feel like I should just...end it all" ;_;
are a hot asian chick who runs around on rooftops, just because the game is in a first person view?
Fuck the immersion, just let me enjoy the sodding game.

Also, if they think their games are so immersive, what do they expect will happen if you're playing it and the power cuts out? It can't be good, surely...
9 Comments

Max Payne (2008) Review

I like to think this is relevant

Once the Funk Bunch split, Marky-Mark lost it.
Once the Funk Bunch split, Marky-Mark lost it.
Directed by:
John Moore

Written by:
Beau Thorne
Sam Lake

Starring:
Mark Wahlberg
Mila Kunis

The Review:
What is it with video game movies? Why do they have such a tendency to suck?
I figured a while back that it had something to do with the studios looking at them as hot properties when they bought the name, but as time passed everyone concerned lost interest. The studios would give the project to some first-timer who wouldn't know what to do with himself. The project would break even, if lucky and a month later, no-one would remember. No-one except the first time director who had great plans that were crushed by one bad film.
I figured that was the case until I heard that George A. Romero was given Resident Evil and wrote a script for it. His version of the film never got made, which is a shame.
More of a shame is that Max Payne, based on the 2001 video game of the same name, got held back by John Moore who has yet to make a particularly good movie at all.
It's particularly unfortunate given how much the film had going for it before some amateur problems started to stall the films progress.

First things first, the casting is pretty good all across the board. No-one was expecting any exceptional performances from Max Payne but we got what we came for, hard boiled film-noir cops and druggies. It works. Mark Wahlberg just fits into the role without trying...I say that because you get the feeling that he isn't trying. Still, that's kind of the point of the character, and it doesn't hurt that Marky-Mark has a strong likeness to the character of the game.
So far, so good, right?
The visuals throughout the film are nothing short of lovely to look at. The poster shown above is a pretty good example of the visual style of Max Payne and it rarely lets up. Occasionally, there'll be a scene in behind closed doors that doesn't exactly feel in sync with the hard coldness of the rest of the film, but other than that the visual style is superb. The script however is particularly flawed.

Dialogue throughout the picture feels fairly natural. It matches the tone and the mise-en-scene of the film and it's unlikely you'll find much to complain about. It's when you make the mistake of thinking about the plot as it progresses. Characters just appearing at locations with no explanation as to why they're there or how about the most frustrating situation in a film ever. Tell me if you've heard it before:
Character A saves Character B.
After 20 seconds, Character A turns on Character B. It's downright infuriating. You can't help but wander what was the point in saving Character B in the firstplace? That in itself wouldn't even be all too bad, if only there was a director on board who knew how to handle the script. John Moore does not know how to handle the script.
The film stops and starts after every little event making it feel like you're on a malfunctioning rollercoaster. It's almost as if as soon as a new element has to be added to the plot, they try and side-step everything else they've established instead of incorporating it into the main arc of the story. It's stupid, amateur and nauseating and goes to show how much effort went into the flow and fluidity of editing the piece together (either that or they just shot the movie really badly).
Don't make any mistake about it, Max Payne is a really bad movie.
So why did I like it? Why did I walk out of the theatre smiling? I love Mark Wahlberg as much as the next guy, but still, was that enough to savour the experience? The action was short, the plot was skittish and the execution was horrendous but I still came out happy.

I think in the end it comes down to one important thing. Can you overlook problems in plot, flow and execution and just enjoy the beautiful art design and the spectacular orange muzzle flashes that litter the screen in the final shoot outs in a film?
If you can get past the problems and enjoy Max Payne as the flawed anti-drug advert that it is you might come out with a smile on your face to. If you want a film that makes sense, however, you might want to skip this one.
And the whole Video-game movie genre as a whole, actually.

B[o]ut
1 Comments

9 minutes.

This has no relevance to video games at all, but it's something I jjust came across and remembered. It's a story I wrote over a year ago, when I was sitting in a maths test having finished my work and was waiting for the test to finish.
There are a few grammatical errors, and towards the end, it gets a little sterotypical, but I still think it's one of the best stories I've ever written.

9 minutes.
9 Minutes
Jack Thomas sat anxiously waiting for the clock to tick down. The following lesson, science, was no better but the agonising silence that was realised upon completing a maths test soon became crippling. The occasional scratch of a pen or cough brought about by some bubbling chest infection was not enough to retain sanity. Looking around at his classmates he realised he was staring at a tormenting depiction of the future the school board wanted.
They were like machines. Sitting, focused on their work and nothing else. Robots that have no purpose but to function as programmed. And when a machine doesn’t function it is always fixed. Or destroyed.
The fear of appearing to malfunction kept Jack in his place. He looked up and saw the teacher looking at the longing in his eyes. The longing for something more than a Maths test. But to her, Jack wasn’t a person. He was number 34B on the register, and Jack knew that’s how she saw him. That’s how all the teachers saw him.
A book. It was time to read a book. Not any book, but a text book. Exams were in just a few weeks and Jack needed to know a lot. Opening the book all Jack saw were numbers and all 34B saw was work. But there was another. Another that looked at the book and saw a code. Another that realised the enigma. Another that knew the rules and abided by them. Another that was called serial number 32496 by its examiners.
Jack tore his eyes from the book and put them to the clock.

6 Minutes
If 34B had no purpose for those few seconds, did he really exist? This was something Jack pondered for a second. If he ceased to have purpose what effect would that have on the universe? After much consideration over a series of consecutive maths lessons, 32496 had come to the conclusion that consideration of the unknown was futile. Regardless though, futility was what drove Jack. It was, in the end, 34B who had suggested that for a creature to exist without purpose would undoubtedly result in the Universe disappearing into the unknown. 32496 stayed quiet. Jack was confused. Surely sitting staring at the clock…
5 minutes
…would result in the end of everything?Of course not, 34B noted. This very thought is your purpose: it is necessary. 32496 concurred with 34B’s thesis but quickly seemed to put the conversation out of mind. It doesn’t ‘compute’.

3 Minutes
Sitting with only his thoughts, Jack felt alone. 34B was coping. 32496 saw no difference from normality. Suddenly a slight noise slid through the silence. Jack felt the ultimate desire to listen. 34B said to put it out of mind. 32496 wasn’t affected by anything that didn’t have specific interaction with it.
Slowly, the noise crept into Jack’s ear.”…but what if he likes you?”It made sense…
“But what if he doesn’t like me?”
It did compute…
“I’ve heard things from Jimmy Bell!”
They were talking. Jack was astonished and overjoyed. There was life! 34B was confused. It was a test, they couldn’t talk. 32496 wasn’t affected by anything that didn’t have specific interaction with it.

2 Minutes
Suddenly, Jack felt a touch on his shoulder. He turned and saw Stacey, a model of the female line.

“Jack…”34B didn’t want to respond. Jack was confused. 32496 recognised specific interaction…
“Jack Thomas!”
Jack turned to see the programmer standing infuriated.
Interaction, 32496 thought.
He stood so that he could look his maths teacher in the eye.
“Yes, Miss?”

”If I catch you talking on my line again, Jack, I will take you off it!”
34B sat down. 32496 understood that the order computed. Jack lowered himself and looked around. No. He looked around at the his classmates. His register. His fellow produce coming off the line. There was 39B, 52G, 43B who were otherwise known as 21797, 452616 and 92317. No

1 Minute
34B told him to sit. 32496 ordered him to sit.

”No,” Jack stammered”That does not compute.”
The teacher, the programmer, the woman from the line watched Jack and pulled a phone from her desk. After a quick dial, she spoke:

”We have a problem with 32496.”
Jack looked up, horrified.

”My name is Jack.”
No it isn’t, 34B sneered.
32496 felt that the idea of name was irrelevant.
“I’m Jack!”
His cries gathered strange looks from the class.
The classroom door opened. Two men in black entered and stood. It was impossible to distinguish the humanoids from each other. They were so blunt, so cold and so large.
“32496?”
Jack was scared and watched on in horror as the woman on the line pointed to him.
“No…I’m…I’M JACK!” he yelled.
34B didn’t resist.

32496 understood.
One of the men stepped forward.
“You need to come with us.”

Jack stood his ground.
”You’ve malfunctioned.”

0 Minutes

5 Comments

I'm going to attempt something with this blog...

I refuse to talk about the NXE. At all.
Because every blog in the kingdom will have it mentioned somewhere.

So anyway, Picked up Gears 2, got half the achievements and am currently trawling through insane mode. Can't play Horde for a while because the servers are getting fucked.
I can only assume that's because...oh, Goddammit.

B[o]ut ;_;

3 Comments

Giant Bomb...You bastards...

I got paid today, and decided to heed your advice on Gears 2.
But not 5 minutes after I returned home from the store, you posted about the new merch?
Now I can't afford a Luchadeer hoodie =(
What do you want me to spend money on, Games or Merch.

;_;

B[o]ut

4 Comments