Wanna Wrestle? #1: SummerSlam and Katy Perry

Being from the south, I grew up watching professional wrestling and gravitating towards Stone Cold Steve Austin from an early age. From there, I learned to love the craft of wrestling, and from there I learned to hate the WWE. This summer, however, WWE and wrestling as a whole has won me over again. I'm in desperate need to blog about something, and now we are here. Here's my 100% serious wrestling blog.

Undertaker + Katy Perry = Hilarious

If you happened to be watching the NBC re-run of Wrestlemania over Pre-Season football, you probably saw that the WWE edited Wrestlemania quite a bit. The first match aired was the one match that mattered at this years show, Taker vs. HHH. Now, I understand editing down the match for TV time, granted it was a match that lasted for over 20 minutes. I also understand editing the entrances because it takes The Undertaker and HHH a damn half-hour just to get to the ring. But what was incredible about the edited entrances was that they switched the songs out... maybe WWE thought it would earn a bit more main-stream appeal, but it took away from the bad-ass entrance Undertaker had to Johnny Cash. Who did they replace Johnny Cash with, you ask? Katy Perry. No, I'm serious. The dead-man/mysterious/evil/bad-ass character of The Undertaker was dubbed with Katy Perry.

Here's the full original match (It's a goodie).

ROH TV

I got the privilege this summer to go to an Ring Of Honor show. If you don't know, ROH is an indy wrestling company that usually has the best wrestlers before they move up into the "big leagues". Look it up, there are tons of incredible matches. Anyways, now they will be on TV! Fantastic! Here's a clip of their Heavyweight Champion:

SummerSlam predictions

There's four matches on the card tonight. FOUR! Unless Kelly Kelly and Beth Phoenix decides to wrestle a 60 minute five star iron match, I'm guessing there's going to be a handful of filler material. Which is why I highly recommend bootlegging the stream for the PPV tonight and not paying for it. Cee-Lo is scheduled to perform and I'm already predicting that he's going to be booed out of the arena. We have CM Punk/John Cena II and Randy Ortan/Christian V(good Lord...), so these are all matches that we've seen before. I'm sure that Punk/Cena will extend the feud a bit longer, but Christian/Ortan will (finally) wrap up their feud tonight. We also have a Diva's match that nobody cares too much about (It's dumb to have the title on Kelly Kelly, a character who's name is a joke in the first place), and we have Shamus/Mark Henry which shouldn't last too long since Henry gets exhausted just by walking these days.

Kelly Kelly(c) vs. Beth Phoenix

Should Win: Beth Phoenix

Will Win: Beth Phoenix

Why: C'mon... No really... C'mon...



Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Should Win: Seamus

Will Win: Sheamus

Why: WWE sent Sheamus to do Conan O'Brian before SS, so I guess it would be smart money to have the guy promoting the show be the guy winning the match. Henry's been on a mean streak as of late, and I'm sure that Sheamus will be the wrestler to capitalize on it and be over on Henry. Sheamus actually kind of works as a face wrestler, and I'm sure he will move on to fued against Christian for the World Championship after SumerSlam. Bonus Prediction: The whole "trying to break people's legs" angle to come into play during the match.

Christian (c) vs. Randy Ortan - No Holds Barred

Should Win: Christian

Why: Smackdown, if you haven't noticed, is a wasteland when it comes to heel wrestlers, but it's still hard for me to swallow Christian as a "main event" wrestler, since he was in his prime years ago. I'm guessing that Christian will remain champ for now, and continue on and fued with someone else in the future. Also, this has been Smackdown's main event for the past few months... time to get some new guys in on the mix.

CM Punk (c) vs. John Cena (c) - Guest Ref: HHH

Should Win: CM Punk

Why: CM Punk has got a new contract. CM Punk was given a new licensed song (The same song he used when he wrestled for ROH). CM Punk has given us one of the most legendary promo's of all time this summer. John Cena gains nothing if he becomes WWE Champion again, CM Punk gains everything from it.

CM Punk's entrance at Money In The Bank was one of the most emotional (emotional?) moments I have ever seen on any television show, and the match that followed it delivered as much as it possibly could. It caused Vince McMahon to lose his on-screen job, and it caused an entire shift in the (awful) mind set that the WWE has had over the past six years. It's the hottest thing going on and I'm sure WWE won't screw it up.

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Posted by TurboMan

Being from the south, I grew up watching professional wrestling and gravitating towards Stone Cold Steve Austin from an early age. From there, I learned to love the craft of wrestling, and from there I learned to hate the WWE. This summer, however, WWE and wrestling as a whole has won me over again. I'm in desperate need to blog about something, and now we are here. Here's my 100% serious wrestling blog.

Undertaker + Katy Perry = Hilarious

If you happened to be watching the NBC re-run of Wrestlemania over Pre-Season football, you probably saw that the WWE edited Wrestlemania quite a bit. The first match aired was the one match that mattered at this years show, Taker vs. HHH. Now, I understand editing down the match for TV time, granted it was a match that lasted for over 20 minutes. I also understand editing the entrances because it takes The Undertaker and HHH a damn half-hour just to get to the ring. But what was incredible about the edited entrances was that they switched the songs out... maybe WWE thought it would earn a bit more main-stream appeal, but it took away from the bad-ass entrance Undertaker had to Johnny Cash. Who did they replace Johnny Cash with, you ask? Katy Perry. No, I'm serious. The dead-man/mysterious/evil/bad-ass character of The Undertaker was dubbed with Katy Perry.

Here's the full original match (It's a goodie).

ROH TV

I got the privilege this summer to go to an Ring Of Honor show. If you don't know, ROH is an indy wrestling company that usually has the best wrestlers before they move up into the "big leagues". Look it up, there are tons of incredible matches. Anyways, now they will be on TV! Fantastic! Here's a clip of their Heavyweight Champion:

SummerSlam predictions

There's four matches on the card tonight. FOUR! Unless Kelly Kelly and Beth Phoenix decides to wrestle a 60 minute five star iron match, I'm guessing there's going to be a handful of filler material. Which is why I highly recommend bootlegging the stream for the PPV tonight and not paying for it. Cee-Lo is scheduled to perform and I'm already predicting that he's going to be booed out of the arena. We have CM Punk/John Cena II and Randy Ortan/Christian V(good Lord...), so these are all matches that we've seen before. I'm sure that Punk/Cena will extend the feud a bit longer, but Christian/Ortan will (finally) wrap up their feud tonight. We also have a Diva's match that nobody cares too much about (It's dumb to have the title on Kelly Kelly, a character who's name is a joke in the first place), and we have Shamus/Mark Henry which shouldn't last too long since Henry gets exhausted just by walking these days.

Kelly Kelly(c) vs. Beth Phoenix

Should Win: Beth Phoenix

Will Win: Beth Phoenix

Why: C'mon... No really... C'mon...



Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Should Win: Seamus

Will Win: Sheamus

Why: WWE sent Sheamus to do Conan O'Brian before SS, so I guess it would be smart money to have the guy promoting the show be the guy winning the match. Henry's been on a mean streak as of late, and I'm sure that Sheamus will be the wrestler to capitalize on it and be over on Henry. Sheamus actually kind of works as a face wrestler, and I'm sure he will move on to fued against Christian for the World Championship after SumerSlam. Bonus Prediction: The whole "trying to break people's legs" angle to come into play during the match.

Christian (c) vs. Randy Ortan - No Holds Barred

Should Win: Christian

Why: Smackdown, if you haven't noticed, is a wasteland when it comes to heel wrestlers, but it's still hard for me to swallow Christian as a "main event" wrestler, since he was in his prime years ago. I'm guessing that Christian will remain champ for now, and continue on and fued with someone else in the future. Also, this has been Smackdown's main event for the past few months... time to get some new guys in on the mix.

CM Punk (c) vs. John Cena (c) - Guest Ref: HHH

Should Win: CM Punk

Why: CM Punk has got a new contract. CM Punk was given a new licensed song (The same song he used when he wrestled for ROH). CM Punk has given us one of the most legendary promo's of all time this summer. John Cena gains nothing if he becomes WWE Champion again, CM Punk gains everything from it.

CM Punk's entrance at Money In The Bank was one of the most emotional (emotional?) moments I have ever seen on any television show, and the match that followed it delivered as much as it possibly could. It caused Vince McMahon to lose his on-screen job, and it caused an entire shift in the (awful) mind set that the WWE has had over the past six years. It's the hottest thing going on and I'm sure WWE won't screw it up.

Edited by TurboMan

Before people give me shit:

Edit 1: You have no idea how much I resisted naming this thing "Wanna Wrastle?"

Edited by rentfn

The thing on NBC last night was a joke. It was awful. They hardly showed anything. I thought they were going to have some behind the scene stories. I was hoping to hear about how the Miz doesn't remember a single thing because he slammed his head on concrete so hard I felt it.

I was thinking the summerslam card was a little light. They mentioned on Smackdown that Daniel Bryan and Wade Barret were going to have a match.

Posted by craigbo180

They should have gone with "Hot N Cold".

Edited by Milkman

They actually added a fifth match to the card, Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett.

Posted by ajamafalous

LOL AT THAT UNDERTAKER ENTRANCE

LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK

Posted by TurboMan

@Milkman said:

They actually added a fifth match to the card, Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett.

news to me!

My boy D. Bryan will end up winning... I hope they stretch this match out though, I haven't seen too much Wade Barrett in singles matches.

but still, five matches is SLIM. Especially when R-Truth vs. Morrison was a given, and there was a hint at a Alex Riley vs. Ziggler match. Both of those matches played out on Raw and there was no signs of continuing it. Also, does the IC title mean anything? Cody Rhodes should have to defend that thing at PPV's. Tag Team Titles has disappeared completely also... :-/

Posted by Meowshi

lets go cena

Edited by Meowshi
CENA SUCKS
Posted by Milkman

@TurboMan: Five matches does seem slim but I have a feeling they are REALLY going to play up the Punk-Cena match. I wouldn't be surprised if they gave that match like 45 minutes or something crazy like that.

Posted by ajamafalous

@TurboMan said:

Also, does the IC title mean anything? Cody Rhodes should have to defend that thing at PPV's. Tag Team Titles has disappeared completely also... :-/

You and I both know that neither of those titles have meant anything for years.

Posted by TurboMan

@Milkman: True, and I'm sure Ortan/Christian will get around 30+ minutes

Posted by GunslingerPanda

Oh fuck, forgot this was on tonight. Hope Beth Phoenix destroys Kelly Kelly, the womens division is a joke now.

If, say, a link to a stream were to appear in my PM inbox, that would be awesome. One can wish.

Posted by Cheesebob

I wanted The Undertake to wrestle Katy Perry....Shame.

Posted by DonChipotle

Beth Phoenix is, like, the only Diva I like. I haven't been following it too closely recently, but if Beth Phoenix loses I will be upset.

Posted by Animasta

I grew up watching wrestling too, and I'm from the pacific northwest, so I don't get what you being from the south has to do with anything :P unless you were making a NASCAR blog

Posted by SlightConfuse

I hope punk wins. Also ROH is awesome

Posted by Natedogg2

I wouldn't be surprised if they added two more matches to the card. I would imagine the Cody Rhodes/Ezekiel Jackson Intercontinental Title rematch would happen at the PPV. I could also see a US Title match between Dolph Ziggler and Alex Riley or a singles match between The Miz and Rey Mysterio (maybe make that last one a tag match, if you want R-Truth and John Morrison involved, but a tag match is probably unlikely).

Posted by iam3green

i haven't watched wrestling in a long time. good times back in the day when wrestling use to be good. all of the wrestlers aren't great like back in the day with stone cold steve austin, the rock, undertaker, kane, the big show, and others.

Posted by TurboMan

@Laketown said:

I grew up watching wrestling too, and I'm from the pacific northwest, so I don't get what you being from the south has to do with anything :P unless you were making a NASCAR blog

Because I grew up in Flair Country! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

MY TOWN! MY TOWN! MY TOWN!

Edited by emergency

Pretty good so far. Lets see how these two title matches turn out. Then I'll judge fully.

Edit: Good match with christian orton, but fuck that every one in two orton ppv matches end in an airko.

Posted by agentboolen
@TurboMan
I kind of understand the lyrics being somewhat in common with the Undertaker...  But yea Katy Perry is squeeky clean teenage pop singer, Undertaker Super Zombie Bad Ass Biker.  Just shows that old Vince is getting to old to know what works now a days.
 
For the Summerslam card that does look like a really shitty card.  That PPV should be only 2 hours (instead of normal 3) and priced at $19.99 instead of there over $30 price tag.  
 
For WWE, its been sucking big time IMO.  What they did with CM Punk seems to be there best moments lately, what they did with the Miz...  Well that was a cruel Joke that felt like it would never end, huge low in WWE history.  I mean really all the guys that deserved to wear that belt (Jake the Snake, Junk Yard Dog, Roddy Piper, Mr. Perfect) just to name a few and never did get it, this was a huge smack in there faces.  The only thing that guy has is he can talk, nothing else.  
 
I don't know what other wrestling fans think but past couple years I have found TNA to be more fun IMO.
Posted by emergency

@agentboolen said:

@TurboMan: I kind of understand the lyrics being somewhat in common with the Undertaker... But yea Katy Perry is squeeky clean teenage pop singer, Undertaker Super Zombie Bad Ass Biker. Just shows that old Vince is getting to old to know what works now a days. For the Summerslam card that does look like a really shitty card. That PPV should be only 2 hours (instead of normal 3) and priced at $19.99 instead of there over $30 price tag. For WWE, its been sucking big time IMO. What they did with CM Punk seems to be there best moments lately, what they did with the Miz... Well that was a cruel Joke that felt like it would never end, huge low in WWE history. I mean really all the guys that deserved to wear that belt (Jake the Snake, Junk Yard Dog, Roddy Piper, Mr. Perfect) just to name a few and never did get it, this was a huge smack in there faces. The only thing that guy has is he can talk, nothing else. I don't know what other wrestling fans think but past couple years I have found TNA to be more fun IMO.

I like the Miz, I want to see more of him. That is all.

Posted by ryanwho
@Cheesebob said:

I wanted The Undertake to wrestle Katy Perry....Shame.

He's probably old enough to be her grandfather, honestly.
Posted by Hot_Karl

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Posted by CL60

The fuck? That ending was retarded. Cenas foot on the rope, Triple H doesn't see it punk wins. Kevin Nash randomly appears and jackknives Punk, ADR cashes in MITB and wins.

Posted by Bruce
@TurboMan:  
 
The finish to Punk VS Cena was soooooooooooooooooo stupid. It might lead to some awesome things in the future, but it mostly confused me.
Posted by SlightConfuse

that ending was dumb especially with nash coming out of nowhere

Posted by zoenonstop

@TurboMan said:

It's the hottest thing going on and I'm sure WWE won't screw it up.

Oops.

Posted by rentfn

I liked Nash coming out not sure how i feel about Del Rio winning. They didn't show a replay so I think that will play a factor moving on with the story.

Edited by spankingaddict

Glad to see Del Rio finally becoming world champ! Love him. Great PPV , IMO.
 
CM Punk will get it back. After all, he's the BEST IN THE WORLD !!!!!!!!!
 
There isn't enough love for Orton in this thread. The guy has amazing in ring abilities!. It seems so natural for him. He should be World Champion !

Posted by Hot_Karl

Del Rio deserved to be champ back at WrestleMania, so this is long overdue for him. 
 
Obviously, in a perfect world, I would rather that Christian still be a champ & that Punk would be a champ too...but at least both Cena & Orton aren't both champs. 1 out of 2 ain't bad.

Posted by Milkman

That ending was some of the craziest shit I've ever seen. There's still something great about watching wrestling and being totally shocked by something. It doesn't happen enough anymore.

Posted by Tim_the_Corsair

Punk is anti-establishment and hates cliques.

Nash and HHH were a part of a backstage power group called 'the Cliq' (or Kliq, depending).

Not really rocket science as to how that ending makes sense, and what it will mean going forward.

I wonder if X-Pac will show up soon?

Posted by Milkman

I thought a lot of the matches were very good but I felt the wrong person (or at least not the person I would have picked) won in a lot of them. The six-man tag match was a total throwaway, filler match but after that, the action was pretty solid. Sheamus and Mark Henry was pretty great, even if the ending was kind of cheap. But I guess this should lead into a bigger feud, which I'm perfectly fine with. Kelly Kelly beating Beth Phoenix however was a fucking travesty. I don't know where they are going with this storyline but her retaining made absolutely no sense at all.

But it was the last three matches where shit really got good. Wade Barrett and Daniel Bryan put on a great show as always, though I definitely was not expecting Barrett to win there. But again, as with Henry and Sheamus, seems like it's just going to lead into a bigger feud and these two should be great working together. Orton and Christian might have been my favorite match of the night. Some awesome spots but also not too spot heavy. Orton winning though is kind of baffling to me. They're just setting up for Christian vs. Orton AGAIN at the next PPV. I think that will be the fourth straight PPV where they've faced each other. It was cool to see Edge anyway. Cena and Punk was a little underwhelming when you put it alongside their match at Money in the Bank but it was still very good. I'm glad the whole thing wasn't just an excuse for Triple H to point at his dick and say "HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT ME". As for that ending...fuck...I don't know what to think.

Look at me. Writing about wrestling on the internet. I should stop.

Posted by TurboMan

I fucking hated that Punk beat Cena in the bullshit "ref didn't see the foot on the ropes" ending. I feel that that's ok to do at Backlash, but not in one of your top PPV's (SS, WM, Survivor Series, etc.). Rio is facing Rey Mysterio tomorrow night for the WWE title, so I'm guessing something will happen there and Cena will complain that he never should have lost and we'll have a 4-way at the next PPV.

I like Nash's involvement. We'll have to bare through the inevitable Nash/Punk match, but Kevin Nash is still one of the best on the mic, and he could really be good for Punk's tweener character... and it might side-track Punk for a little while till it's a fued between Punk/HHH.

I hated the Del Rio cash-in at the end at first, but you have to respect the briefcase no matter who uses it.

Punk/Cena II was a great match again, but wasn't better than their perfect first match

Ortan fucking squashed Christian at the end, and Ortan winning made Christian's second title run completely pointless. But very good match between the two, and probably the best match of the night.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett was a fantastic match. Made both guys look really good.

Fuck the divas match

Sheamus losing that easily to Henry was a bit of a chin-scratcher... I guess Henry is going to go after Ortan for the Championship? That fued is going to be awful since Ortan isn't talented enough to carry Henry in any kind of main event match.

First match was filler.

overall, really good show.

Posted by dudeglove

To be fair, the Undertaker entrance isn't the gayest thing to happen to wrestling.

Posted by McGhee

@TurboMan said:

Before people give me shit:

Edit 1: You have no idea how much I resisted naming this thing "Wanna Wrastle?"

That's gotta be the single saddest video I've ever seen in my life.

Posted by W0lfbl1tzers

I hate that CM Punk isn't the champion anymore because now he will continue to talk way to fucking much. Maybe he'll do some pandering while he's at it. He's good at that.

Posted by HandsomeDead
@VinceNotVance said:
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As much as I (used to) enjoy RoH, they really have the worst crowds of all time.
Posted by scarace360

Since when does triple H where a suit?

Posted by HandsomeDead

All that for Kevin Nash? Weird.

Posted by MEATBALL

Christ, that Punk entrance really is incredible. Still gives me chills.

Edited by lavaman77

Always nice to see another wrestling fan on the forum, definitely following you.
 
I personally find Summerslam to be completely dull this year with the exception of CM Punk vs Superman Cena.
Also, Christian needs to go back to being face and actually entertaining the crowd instead of being the old creepy guy who wants his young years back.

Posted by CL60

On an unrelated note.. a mouse was seen on RAW tonight. 
 
  

Posted by atomic_dumpling
@HandsomeDead said:
All that for Kevin Nash? Weird.
Yeah. I was reading a report and when it said "Punk turned around to eat a kick from Kevin Nash" I went "Huh?". This can only work if they re-unite the Kliq and continue the "real" angle. Implying that Kevin Nash could beat anyone on the roster - let alone Punk - would be a mistake. He is old and his knees are fudge.
Posted by Meowshi
@lavaman77 said:
Always nice to see another wrestling fan on the forum, definitely following you.  I personally find Summerslam to be completely dull this year with the exception of CM Punk vs Superman Cena. Also, Christian needs to go back to being face and actually entertaining the crowd instead of being the old creepy guy who wants his young years back.
The Orton/Christian match was great.  Yes, the feud is getting tired, but they have consistently great matches.
Posted by Meowshi
@W0lfbl1tzers said:
I hate that CM Punk isn't the champion anymore because now he will continue to talk way to fucking much. Maybe he'll do some pandering while he's at it. He's good at that.
Yeah, I hate being entertained by charismatic superstars!  
Posted by lavaman77
@CL60 said:

On an unrelated note.. a mouse was seen on RAW tonight. 
 
  

Can't blame the mouse leaving, Cena is annoying when he is given a mic.
Posted by emergency

@lavaman77 said:

@CL60 said:

On an unrelated note.. a mouse was seen on RAW tonight.

Can't blame the mouse leaving, Cena is annoying when he is given a mic.

Prooven by his crap promo to end this weeks RAW.

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