" You know if your going to review bad games and then give them bad scores. There really is no point at all in you doing it. We already know they are bad games. "

You know if your going to review bad games and then give them bad scores. There really is no point at all in you doing it.
We already know they are bad games.

" Samus collecting babies and killing Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde in the process is just too weird for me though. "

" Back in the day, I got a cover disc on some Playstation mag or other that had a buttload of Net Yaroze game which had numbers 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 on your list. I actually quite like Blitter Boy, though! "

Back in the day, I got a cover disc on some Playstation mag or other that had a buttload of Net Yaroze game which had numbers 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 on your list. I actually quite like Blitter Boy, though!

" @Scooper said:

" When you get to Gravitation make sure you get a friend over and a few beers. It's one of the best multiplayer games ever. Had soo much fun playing Gravitation with my buddy back in the day. "

Sounds like fun, I'll make my buddy play all of those these awful, awful multiplayer games with me. He'll be glad there's at least one decent game in that pile of excrement. "

" When you get to Gravitation make sure you get a friend over and a few beers. It's one of the best multiplayer games ever. Had soo much fun playing Gravitation with my buddy back in the day. "

When you get to Gravitation make sure you get a friend over and a few beers. It's one of the best multiplayer games ever. Had soo much fun playing Gravitation with my buddy back in the day.

I remember playing Terra Incognita, Blitter Boy and Rocks 'n' Gems all the time, hahaha. I don't remember Gas Girl though, what the fuck?

" Net Yaroze was fucking quality, some were stinkers, but there were some great gems too. Rocks and Gems, Total Soccer was amazing as well. "

Net Yaroze was fucking quality, some were stinkers, but there were some great gems too. Rocks and Gems, Total Soccer was amazing as well.

" I remember Net Yaroze. There were two games I used to play all the time. One was a rocket flying round through mazes and the other was called Rocks 'N' Gems where you had to run round a map collecting gems but if you ran underneath a rock, it would fall on you.  EDIT: Nice mention of Rocks 'N' Gems. So glad it's not just me that remembers it. "

" I remember Net Yaroze. There were two games I used to play all the time. One was a rocket flying round through mazes and the other was called Rocks 'N' Gems where you had to run round a map collecting gems but if you ran underneath a rock, it would fall on you.  EDIT: Nice mention of Rocks 'N' Gems. So glad it's not just me that remembers it. "

I remember Net Yaroze. There were two games I used to play all the time. One was a rocket flying round through mazes and the other was called Rocks 'N' Gems where you had to run round a map collecting gems but if you ran underneath a rock, it would fall on you.
 
EDIT: Nice mention of Rocks 'N' Gems. So glad it's not just me that remembers it.

Haha, these games looks like hidden gems!

This is great stuff, but I demand a full review for Gas Girl! The gameplay elements are just so intriguing... Is she using it as propulsion to run faster in that screenshot? Never since Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure have I been so enthralled.

" @TwoLines:  OH MY FUCKING GOD! I had this demo disk as a kid, I still do, somewhere, How crap were these games, but back then we played it innit? That soccer game, I played that with my dad a couple of times, it was awesome.  "

 Remember? Net Yaroze? You don't? Good. Run for your life.

It’s actually nettoyaroze (from japaneese "Let's do it!")- and that’s how I pronounce this development kit for the PS1. What is it? Well, nothing more than homebrew games of the old, like those Xbox indie games today. Sweet, sweet moonshine that turns into bitter vomit once you push the start button. I’m going to write a small review of these games, yeah I’m that masochistic. So I just downloaded the 83(!!) Yaroze games from the internet, and I'm going to play them using an emulator. Judge me not, these games were practically free back in the day, now they're nowhere to be found. I got my hands on some of them back then by buying the "Playstation Magazine" with demo CDs.

Well- thank the Lord that’s out of the way, let’s play our first stinker.

#1 "Terra Incognita"

I push the start button- choose a language with the select button (Japaneese or English, hmm..) and then I'm presented with the story:

 
 
Next game: 
#2 "Blitter Boy: Operation Monster Mall"

I don’t want to say much about this game. Because.. well.. it's weird. You collect babies. Yeah, caucasian and afro american babies. I don' t know why there are no asian babies there. Or maybe there are- it's tough to say, the graphics are.. well it looks like it was made on  the SNES. it's not that I don't like 16 bit graphics- but.. you know what, whatever. The game's awful. You collect babies, transport them somewhere, kill ghost that look like they were ripped straight from pac man.. I don't want to play this anymore. There's this one thing though.. it's kinda buggin' me. The main protagonist has a very familiar logo on his helmet, that- by the way- also looks familiar... well, it's only my imagination, I'm sure. Let's carry on.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Next:

#3 "The Incredible Coneman"

3D Pac man clone.  Really, nothing more can be said. Oh yeah, it stinks.

Next:

#4 "A Dog Tale"

Jesus Christ.. You know what- no. This game is so bad, I.. I won't get past the first level. I'll show you a screenshot of this 2d turd,  and let's move on. Really, the controlls.. I know- it's homebrew but.. Argh! It's the WORST 2D platformer I have ever played. Hell- i've been more entertained by crappy cell phone games than.. Oh, whatever.  Also- shouldn't it be called "Dog's tale"? 
P.S.: Pro tip: The cacti are deadly.

 
Next:

#5 "Rocks n’ Gems"

Boulderdash clone. A pretty good one, but I never liked the original, why would I like the clone? Not for me. Moving on.

 
Next:

#6 "Total Soccer"

A top down view soccer game. I don't like soccer, I don't like this game.

 
 Next:

#7 "Mah Jong"

Yup, it's Mah Jong all right!

 
Next:

#8 "Haunted maze"

Yeah, the name's terrible. But the game is.. good. it's addicting. Like a good flash game. Sure, it looks like total crap. Yeah, it's simple, and there's no story whatsoever. But- it's not broken, and it doesn't piss me off. So that's something. I've played through 10 levels, which is saying a lot. The concept is really simple- you run around avoiding zombies and collecting weird floating tokens. You collect all the tokens, an exit opens up, you leave- next level. A simple, but well done, arcade game. Nice.

Next:

#9 "Bouncer 2"

Was there a Bouncer 1? The controlls are terrible. They're not explained well enough- and you're left scratching your head. It sucks. The graphics are.. there are no graphics. It's like I'm playing Atari again. Oh shit, I named the screenshot amiga.. ah, whatever. See- taht's how much I care about this game- I'm adressing a screenshot mishap instead of reviewing this shit. 
It's like breakout, only more complicated. No, thank you.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Next:

#10 "Stonegate"

  I'm greeted with a half-assed menu, and a giant title- Stonegate. Okay, at least it's trying to be original. I check out the "info" of the game. And there it is- a short note on the bottom of the screen: "This game isn't complete(...)". Awesome. He goes on to say he did not have enough time to complete it, yadda yadda yadda. Damn, this has to be awesome. At least something to laugh about! Let the battle of the titans comence!
 

...
NEXT!

#11 "Gas Girl"

You fart to kill enemies...