By UnhappyCanadian 54 Comments
During my freshman year I had an incident that involved having hot chicks as the background on your laptop. I used to cycle through various sexy images of Mila Kunis, Melanie Iglesias, and other incredible women that make my dick wiggle.
So a few weeks into my first year of college I visited my girlfriend at UVA. She was a relatively understanding girl, but thanks to better judgment I decided to change my background. Since TnA are the two greatest things in this world, before I left my background was a less-than-moderately dressed Kate Upton; I replaced it with a picture of a gorgeous meadow with trees and daisies and a sign that said “I’m Gay” in the background. Or it might as well have. In retrospect, I went a little overboard.
I was visiting for the weekend, and when Saturday rolled around I was playing around on my laptop while she was getting ready so we could go to the football game. When she came out she said with intense urgency that we had to leave immediately and pulled me out of my chair. While I had switched my background, I had forgotten to change my screen-saver, which still cycled through most of the inappropriate pictures on my hard-drive. This would not be too bad, but all of my girlfriend’s suite-mates had their families visiting for the weekend. Honestly, everyone and their dog showed up, and to make it worse almost all of them were devout Christians.
When we got back I was greeted by one of the mothers with “your wallpapers are very…interesting”. It was a pretty bad first impression, and I’m fairly certain that they all thought I was a slut, a scumbag, or both.
In retrospect, they were not really wrong. That is what that signifies, and I have always thought that slutty wallpapers make guys look like douches that cannot get a girl on their own so they stare at one on their screen all day. I know it is not that pathetic, but it can easily be viewed that way.
To be honest, sexy wallpapers are probably never a good idea, and truthfully I really do not need another reminder to masturbate. I am already thinking about sex on a regular basis and I could really do without a picture on my screen reminding me to take my dick out every time I boot it up. I already waste enough of my time with that.