2011 In Review, Quick and Dirty
I rent a lot of games (Yay Gamefly). So here are my short and stupid thoughts on everything I play this year without being biased by the guilt that I plunked down $60 on anything.
List items
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Let's embark on a quest to avenge the death of a character you killed off before I could possibly care about them! To be fair, a good story wouldn't have saved this game anyway. Boring and janky.
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I have a thing for 3rd Person Shooters. This was not a good one. If I ever see it for under $10 I'll probably buy it though.
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What an enthralling experience this game was. The difficulty was so perfectly balanced in that I always seemed to be on the brink of running out of ammo and just barely surviving each encounter. Excellent game.
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What a fucking joke. The Multiplayer didn't work and the Singleplayer was just a long boring grind. Also, if you're going to have a huge open world put some interesting shit in it, jeez. Bland and broken.
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A barebones experience that offers very little to someone not interested in online competition. Tekken 6 has a full on Streets of Rage mode and Mortal Kombat is chock full of solo content, step it up Capcom.
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I could forgive the dumb story and unlikable characters (it is a FPS after all) if the game was fun, but once you've played with the leash for a couple stages you've experienced all this game has to offer. Surprisingly boring.
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Where the fuck is this dwarf's beard??? The first Dragon Age had one beardless dwarf, Dragon Age II has two beardless dwarves. That pretty much sums up the effort put into this turd. (I don't actually know the official beardless dwarf count for either game.) Lady Hawke is kinda rad, but wasted on this game.
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Hey it's Tennis! You like Tennis? This game has Tennis. (I don't know why I rented this.)
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I thought everyone was hyped for this game because of the multiplayer. Then the game comes out and everyone complains about the singleplayer. Makes me wonder if there are people who buy Call of Duty for the singleplayer. That seems like a waste of money. Don't play the campaign.
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I can't believe we're still doing the silent protagonist thing in 2011 (Homefront also had one). I'm not trying to pretend I'm the dude, make the fucking dude a character that says shit! One sided conversations are the second dumbest thing plaguing video games today (Quick Time Events still the reigning champ of dumb shit).
Rating: Stupid
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Why call this game Shift 2 if you're going to shit all over the stuff that made Shift stand out as a good NFS game? Assholes. The title is misleading, Shift 2 continues the trend of every NFS game playing differently than the last regardless of whether people liked the last game or not.
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I love it, you hate it, let's move on.
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A very enjoyable experience that thankfully doesn't seem to have spawned any new memes. Lacks any real replay value making it a perfect rental.
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Capcom could learn a thing from these guys about cramming singleplayer content into a fighting game. These guys could learn a thing or two from Capcom about rendering a character that doesn't look like ass. Take your profits and hire some new artists!
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Ugh.
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Does some things right and a lot of things wrong. I wonder if we'll ever get past the idea that flipping switches and pulling levers in an action game somehow enhances the gameplay.
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In the end, the good bits are overshadowed by awkward storytelling, seemingly out of place combat, and tedious "investigating". Still, the uniqueness of it makes it something everyone should check out for themselves.
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Seemed alright, wouldn't stop fucking crashing (the game, not my car). My favorite race type in Dirt 2 was Land Rush and there seemed to be less of that in Dirt 3, so that kinda sucked.
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I didn't think a hack n slash with a half naked elf chick could be boring. I was wrong.
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Didn't get to play enough of it to give an opinion on the game, but boo on the QA team for releasing with some hardcore game stopping glitches.
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As against this game as I was for not being Guerrilla 2, the campaign is actually pretty enjoyable. Without the awesome MP of Guerrilla however, there's no reason for me to buy it. It feels like this should've been the 'experiment with destruction tech' first game, and Guerrilla was the 'ok now lets go crazy with it and add multiplayer' sequel... Instead it's a weird, dumb step backwards.
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A little variety goes a long way guys. You made me shoot one too many switches whilst standing on another switch so I could jump across the umpteenth set of floating platforms. Oh look, it's that puzzle again!
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Everyone has an opinion on this game because we all felt the need to play it. It was bad, let's move on.
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More reminiscent of the golden age of wrestling games (those N64 gems) than I expected. I'd love to see them remove the over the top aspects and have the regular wrasslin' games use this fighting engine. Or at least make another one of these that isn't so lacking in content.
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I rented Revenge of the Fallen during a period when there was jack shit else for me to rent, and it ended up being pretty darn good. Dark of the Moon doesn't do transforming quite as well, but it's still a solid 3rd person shooter with completely serviceable multiplayer. As a bonus, the Starscream sections are goddamn hilarious.
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I felt like this game was having me shoot switches more often than enemies...
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The first FEAR was a fantastic horror FPS. FEAR 2 was a fantastic sci-fi FPS with one of the most memorable endings in video game history. FEAR 3 is at it's core still a top quality FPS, but has neither the horror of the first game or the great plot of the second game, instead bringing half assed co-op to the table. It's over far too quick, and the final payoff is horrendous. Also, another silent protagonist, FUCK!
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A better, if smaller, sequel to EDF 2017. I was really hoping they'd go all out with this one, but instead it feels scaled back quite a bit.
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With the number of examples of how to do FPS mechanics right ever increasing, it's amazing that we still get games like this where the movement, aiming, and shooting are just fundamentally bad. For some reason I suffered through it all the way to the end anyway. It never got good. The three main characters were so unlikable it made me question my hatred for silent protagonists...
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Wow. I don't give a fuck about Captain America, be it the movie or the comic book character, but holy shit this game was FUN. It's Arkham Asylum minus the stealth with a focus on offense instead of counters (although there are counters). The combat is satisfying as hell, the animations are great, and it's just flat out enjoyable to play. Madame Hydra might just be my favorite female antagonist in a video game ever <3
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I wrote a blog about it, read that!
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Probably the worst thing a hack n slash dungeon crawler can have is unsatisfying combat. Guess what this game has?
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I felt like this game was trying too hard to be artsy for artsy's sake. Unlike most reviewers, the visuals did not impress me, so I was left with a really shitty God of War clone that's only "unique" mechanic was arbitrarily pressing LB every so often. The 2D stages felt clumsy and there was nothing going on in the story that compelled me to sit through the shitty gameplay.
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I see the appeal of this game, but it just wasn't for me. When I have to shoot up a police station because I don't have the patience for stealth, you've made me feel like I'm playing the game wrong.
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From the title and the demo I was hoping this was going to be a balls out arcadey ass FPS. Unfortunately it ended up having the same plodding pace and half baked plot as your typical FPS. Still, mechanically it was fine, and I've played much, much worse.
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The additions to Franchise Mode (that should've been put in years ago) are great, but I think even my NFL obsessed ass has finally gotten tired of playing the same game every year.
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Me and 3 buddies bought this to play together and I ended up being the only one who liked it. Which actually ended up working out great, because I can't fucking STAND playing this game multiplayer. As a singleplayer game though, I love it.
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I literally fell asleep playing the campaign. I'm not even kidding.
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After Dead Island, September became a wasteland for rentals. I decided to rent this over renting nothing and I wish I would've stuck with the latter. Absolute shit. Hilariously though, if you choose women's division (or whatever it was called) from the main menu you are treated to a roster of 2 (TWO!) female fighters. Guess who's fighting who tonight?!
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