A very special diabetes edition of Renegade Ego.



Captain Novolin

( What, that surprised you?) This blog is actually called Renegade Ego, and it isn't the first time I've done this. Wait, you're confused about the diabetes thing? I thought you'd be more confused about my blatantly obvious bait-and-switch joke, but whatever, I can understand the confusion, so let me explain: there is a genre of video games called edutainment. Aside from Oregon Trail and maybe Number Munchers, they all suck, especially when they're teaching you about diabetes. They suck even more if, like Captain Novolin, they don't teach you anything.
 
Hell, I left the game more confused than I'd entered. It starts off with the mayor being kidnapped by aliens, which, for whatever reason, take the form of ice cream and donuts and other sweets. Rather than eat the threat away, the citizens of Wherever-ville decide to ask Captain Novolin for help. Already, I find myself asking a question: how could they fuck up what is essentially a Powerpuff Girls rip-off? Keep in mind that I haven't even said anything of Captain Novolin yet, mainly because there's not much to say about him. He's muscly and looks like the villain from Who Framed Roger Rabbit whilst riding a boat, but other than that, not much to mention. Hell, not even superpowers, since he doesn't have any superpowers. I blame this on the diabetes he constantly loves to mention; it's hard to be badass when you have to remind people supposedly less powerful than you that you might need medical help if you scarf down too many sugary treats in one day, so I guess the developers decided to focus all their attention on the diabetes part and less on the good part. Just look at the world of Wherever-ville: everybody's either a diabetes expert or crippled with type 1 diabetes (type 2 isn't included in this game, because the developers hate people with type 2 diabetes). Now I can see why my Powerpuff Plan wouldn't work: because the donut-alien-things would win. Also, they wouldn't know how the plan would work, since YouTube only has the anime version in its databanks.
 
 The Dark Crystal: Diabetes Edition is like porn to Captain Novolin.
Also, I imagine they have an easier plan: just fucking walk to the alien headquarters. After all, that's what Captain Novolin does. That's all the gameplay there is: you walk right, occasionally jumping over things. You can't attack anything, so it's sub-Kung Fu, and that game was the pioneer of walking in one direction until the credits rolled. Speaking of Kung-Fu, remember how all the enemies had kinda easy to predict patterns? Captain Novolin saw fit to fix this problem by making it worse; whatever enemies don't walk to you in a straight line will bounce toward you in a straight line. As I said before, there's also a boat, but it's just like walking, so fuck it. I'd also mention some other gameplay features, like the time or nothing else, but we know what this is all about: the diabetes. How exactly does this game fuck up diabetes education? Before I answer that, let me ask you to write down all the ways in which you think they fucked up that somewhat simple task. No, go ahead, I'll wait. * turns on some long music* OK, you done with that list? Hand it over. *glances over it a bit* Even though I didn't really bother reading it, I know for a fact that you could not have listed off all the fuck-ups this game commits.
 
The obvious one is time: each part of a level doesn't correspond to a time of day, wherein you're supposed to eat certain foods to keep up your glucose levels. However, the time of day has no bearing on the game itself, so fuck it like I fucked the boat. Ignoring my love for fucking boats and Father Time, there's that eating thing I barely mentioned before. Unlike all the other parts of the game, diabetes plays a major role. At the beginning of each level, something approximating a human tells you which foods you can eat in a level. Pay attention to him VERY carefully; fuck up his instructions, and you'll pass out on the street in a diabetic coma. I don't know what happens if you underdose on food, so I'll assume that you starve to death. Still more fun than placing a stupid limit on how much crap you can collect, especially a limit you don't know until it's far too late. Why couldn't there be some way to check your blood sugar levels? You know, like a button of some type? Eh, it doesn't matter; it's not like the game actually teaches you anything about diabetes; it just spouts facts at you without doing much with them. That's fine for a textbook, but damn it, this is a video game, and we have standards! If you're gonna make a game of any kind, you have to make it fun; otherwise, whatever you're saying will just be taken as an argument to destroy those responsible for this game. That's why I wish to find a cure for diabetes: so people stop making shitty diabetes games. Also, Failure Award for Being Less Entertaining than an Episode of King of the Hill.
 

Review Synopsis

  • Wow, Captain Novolin is a pussy.
  • Wow, this game is really easy.
  • Wow, diabetes is irrelevant.
 
 
 
 
A better reason to avoid sweet foods: they will destroy your life. You'll shit in small bowls and wake children up at night in the hopes that they'll eat it. There's a reason it cuts away to the house when he screams.
  
  

Packy & Marlon

( Who the hell would've thought that there are TWO diabetes games on the SNES?) Well, I guess I'm the only one, since I actually had to create the page for this game. That means I'm the only person who's heard of this game, and trust me, the wiki community knows about some obscure- ass games; what does it say about them that somebody pretty lax about the wiki had to add what they never did? That this game isn't that good, and the only reason it deserves attention is because it focuses on diabetes? But Captain Novolin did that, too, so fuck this game? Yea, let's go with that.
 
 Packy & Marlon : taking the "education" out of "diabetes education."
Oddly enough, despite being incredibly similar to Captain Novolin, the one part it (thankfully) doesn't rip off is the story. Instead of playing as a superhero who doesn't have any superpowers, you instead play as an elephant child at a diabetes camp. Frankly, I find that to be bullshit; there is no such thing as diabetes camp, but there are such things as failed fat camps. I suspect that it's easier to relabel it a diabetes camp than it is to say, "Look, we know how much we suck at this and that we're horrible people, but hey, at least they lost weight." Their failure becomes even more evident when a bunch of rats, things that look like rats, and things that aren't rats decide to swipe all the diabetes supplies, for some reason. Their plan? Send one of the campers to retrieve it all, of course! Oh, and it's not like they can't get the supplies or anything; there are several camp counselors in each level, but their only purpose is to ask diabetes questions ripped straight from Captain Novolin. Meanwhile, Babar Jr. has to fetch the supplies in around a week, and he's not the most qualified child out there; besides being stupidly stupid, he, like the protagonist of every single diabetes game, has diabetes. This means that in addition to finding all the missing diabetes supplies, he must check his blood sugar levels several time a day, maintain a healthy diet, AND take insulin shots twice a day. All without his diabetes supplies. Dicks.
 
As you can tell, diabetes plays a huge role in this diabetes-themed game, too, and like before, it doesn't work. Like the diabetes code I didn't mention before, Packy & Marlon asks you to enter your insulin shot plan thing before the game begins, but it doesn't have any affect on the game whatsoever, so what's the point? To teach kids about diabetes? You're not teaching them about diabetes, you're just putting it in there! If you want to teach them about diabetes, make it have some type of effect on the game; otherwise, it's just an annoying, useless gameplay feature you're thrusting in their face. STOP THRUSTING YOUR DIABETES INTO THE FACES OF THESE YOUNG CHILDREN! Or if you're gonna continue shoving your diabetes in their young faces, at least make it accurate; if I'm gonna be forced to eat a certain amount of meals per food group per level, at least match them up properly so that cheese is not a meat brick. Not only does it make them feel bad about their diabetes (this game knows more about your diabetes than you do, and it doesn't even have diabetes), but it only makes it that much more obvious that you have absolutely nothing else to offer with your game. OK, so it's not as bad Captain Novolin, since it's an actual game, but the gameplay is still kinda crap.
 
How, you ask? Well, for one, it's kinda misleading, at least by that screenshot from before. It looks like Super Mario World meets Pokemon meets my crap tracing ability, but if I had to compare it to any game at all, it'd be more like Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. Yea, you can already see how this isn't a good gift for your kids. In each level, you're tasked with retrieving a given diabetes item, like a logbook or insulin, and then defeating a boss IN THAT ORDER, meaning the actual item is more or less a key than important. Also, the bosses are Romancing SaGa stupid, so they're just enemies with special sprites. Wait a second, I'm spotting a recurring problem: laziness. I know it may sound a bit nitpicky, but it absolutely destroys the game, since the generic feel to levels makes them harder to navigate than the original "you can't see dick" Dragon Quest dungeons. Not exactly a good thing when your entire game revolves around finding certain objects in huge levels. It gets especially bad in the underwater levels, which I'll leave at "they would confuse the Minotaur." The only rule for any type of navigation in this game is "you find the 'key' first, then go to the boss"; if you find the "locked door" to the boss, you know that the "key" must be nearby. Other than that, good luck. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Captain Novolin is the diabetes game. How can this be? Packy & Marlon is actually a game. Granted, it's a shit game, but at least it has gameplay of some type. How can it be beat by nothing itself? You know what, Packy & Marlon? Both of you get the Mega Failure Award for Being Less Entertaining than Captain Fucking Novolin.
 

Review Synopsis

  • Is there a single diabetes game that actually makes diabetes fun?
  • Everything about this game is generic as hell, including the diabetes, somehow.
  • Generic everything=hard to navigate levels.
43 Comments
43 Comments
Posted by Video_Game_King


Captain Novolin

( What, that surprised you?) This blog is actually called Renegade Ego, and it isn't the first time I've done this. Wait, you're confused about the diabetes thing? I thought you'd be more confused about my blatantly obvious bait-and-switch joke, but whatever, I can understand the confusion, so let me explain: there is a genre of video games called edutainment. Aside from Oregon Trail and maybe Number Munchers, they all suck, especially when they're teaching you about diabetes. They suck even more if, like Captain Novolin, they don't teach you anything.
 
Hell, I left the game more confused than I'd entered. It starts off with the mayor being kidnapped by aliens, which, for whatever reason, take the form of ice cream and donuts and other sweets. Rather than eat the threat away, the citizens of Wherever-ville decide to ask Captain Novolin for help. Already, I find myself asking a question: how could they fuck up what is essentially a Powerpuff Girls rip-off? Keep in mind that I haven't even said anything of Captain Novolin yet, mainly because there's not much to say about him. He's muscly and looks like the villain from Who Framed Roger Rabbit whilst riding a boat, but other than that, not much to mention. Hell, not even superpowers, since he doesn't have any superpowers. I blame this on the diabetes he constantly loves to mention; it's hard to be badass when you have to remind people supposedly less powerful than you that you might need medical help if you scarf down too many sugary treats in one day, so I guess the developers decided to focus all their attention on the diabetes part and less on the good part. Just look at the world of Wherever-ville: everybody's either a diabetes expert or crippled with type 1 diabetes (type 2 isn't included in this game, because the developers hate people with type 2 diabetes). Now I can see why my Powerpuff Plan wouldn't work: because the donut-alien-things would win. Also, they wouldn't know how the plan would work, since YouTube only has the anime version in its databanks.
 
 The Dark Crystal: Diabetes Edition is like porn to Captain Novolin.
Also, I imagine they have an easier plan: just fucking walk to the alien headquarters. After all, that's what Captain Novolin does. That's all the gameplay there is: you walk right, occasionally jumping over things. You can't attack anything, so it's sub-Kung Fu, and that game was the pioneer of walking in one direction until the credits rolled. Speaking of Kung-Fu, remember how all the enemies had kinda easy to predict patterns? Captain Novolin saw fit to fix this problem by making it worse; whatever enemies don't walk to you in a straight line will bounce toward you in a straight line. As I said before, there's also a boat, but it's just like walking, so fuck it. I'd also mention some other gameplay features, like the time or nothing else, but we know what this is all about: the diabetes. How exactly does this game fuck up diabetes education? Before I answer that, let me ask you to write down all the ways in which you think they fucked up that somewhat simple task. No, go ahead, I'll wait. * turns on some long music* OK, you done with that list? Hand it over. *glances over it a bit* Even though I didn't really bother reading it, I know for a fact that you could not have listed off all the fuck-ups this game commits.
 
The obvious one is time: each part of a level doesn't correspond to a time of day, wherein you're supposed to eat certain foods to keep up your glucose levels. However, the time of day has no bearing on the game itself, so fuck it like I fucked the boat. Ignoring my love for fucking boats and Father Time, there's that eating thing I barely mentioned before. Unlike all the other parts of the game, diabetes plays a major role. At the beginning of each level, something approximating a human tells you which foods you can eat in a level. Pay attention to him VERY carefully; fuck up his instructions, and you'll pass out on the street in a diabetic coma. I don't know what happens if you underdose on food, so I'll assume that you starve to death. Still more fun than placing a stupid limit on how much crap you can collect, especially a limit you don't know until it's far too late. Why couldn't there be some way to check your blood sugar levels? You know, like a button of some type? Eh, it doesn't matter; it's not like the game actually teaches you anything about diabetes; it just spouts facts at you without doing much with them. That's fine for a textbook, but damn it, this is a video game, and we have standards! If you're gonna make a game of any kind, you have to make it fun; otherwise, whatever you're saying will just be taken as an argument to destroy those responsible for this game. That's why I wish to find a cure for diabetes: so people stop making shitty diabetes games. Also, Failure Award for Being Less Entertaining than an Episode of King of the Hill.
 

Review Synopsis

  • Wow, Captain Novolin is a pussy.
  • Wow, this game is really easy.
  • Wow, diabetes is irrelevant.
 
 
 
 
A better reason to avoid sweet foods: they will destroy your life. You'll shit in small bowls and wake children up at night in the hopes that they'll eat it. There's a reason it cuts away to the house when he screams.
  
  

Packy & Marlon

( Who the hell would've thought that there are TWO diabetes games on the SNES?) Well, I guess I'm the only one, since I actually had to create the page for this game. That means I'm the only person who's heard of this game, and trust me, the wiki community knows about some obscure- ass games; what does it say about them that somebody pretty lax about the wiki had to add what they never did? That this game isn't that good, and the only reason it deserves attention is because it focuses on diabetes? But Captain Novolin did that, too, so fuck this game? Yea, let's go with that.
 
 Packy & Marlon : taking the "education" out of "diabetes education."
Oddly enough, despite being incredibly similar to Captain Novolin, the one part it (thankfully) doesn't rip off is the story. Instead of playing as a superhero who doesn't have any superpowers, you instead play as an elephant child at a diabetes camp. Frankly, I find that to be bullshit; there is no such thing as diabetes camp, but there are such things as failed fat camps. I suspect that it's easier to relabel it a diabetes camp than it is to say, "Look, we know how much we suck at this and that we're horrible people, but hey, at least they lost weight." Their failure becomes even more evident when a bunch of rats, things that look like rats, and things that aren't rats decide to swipe all the diabetes supplies, for some reason. Their plan? Send one of the campers to retrieve it all, of course! Oh, and it's not like they can't get the supplies or anything; there are several camp counselors in each level, but their only purpose is to ask diabetes questions ripped straight from Captain Novolin. Meanwhile, Babar Jr. has to fetch the supplies in around a week, and he's not the most qualified child out there; besides being stupidly stupid, he, like the protagonist of every single diabetes game, has diabetes. This means that in addition to finding all the missing diabetes supplies, he must check his blood sugar levels several time a day, maintain a healthy diet, AND take insulin shots twice a day. All without his diabetes supplies. Dicks.
 
As you can tell, diabetes plays a huge role in this diabetes-themed game, too, and like before, it doesn't work. Like the diabetes code I didn't mention before, Packy & Marlon asks you to enter your insulin shot plan thing before the game begins, but it doesn't have any affect on the game whatsoever, so what's the point? To teach kids about diabetes? You're not teaching them about diabetes, you're just putting it in there! If you want to teach them about diabetes, make it have some type of effect on the game; otherwise, it's just an annoying, useless gameplay feature you're thrusting in their face. STOP THRUSTING YOUR DIABETES INTO THE FACES OF THESE YOUNG CHILDREN! Or if you're gonna continue shoving your diabetes in their young faces, at least make it accurate; if I'm gonna be forced to eat a certain amount of meals per food group per level, at least match them up properly so that cheese is not a meat brick. Not only does it make them feel bad about their diabetes (this game knows more about your diabetes than you do, and it doesn't even have diabetes), but it only makes it that much more obvious that you have absolutely nothing else to offer with your game. OK, so it's not as bad Captain Novolin, since it's an actual game, but the gameplay is still kinda crap.
 
How, you ask? Well, for one, it's kinda misleading, at least by that screenshot from before. It looks like Super Mario World meets Pokemon meets my crap tracing ability, but if I had to compare it to any game at all, it'd be more like Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. Yea, you can already see how this isn't a good gift for your kids. In each level, you're tasked with retrieving a given diabetes item, like a logbook or insulin, and then defeating a boss IN THAT ORDER, meaning the actual item is more or less a key than important. Also, the bosses are Romancing SaGa stupid, so they're just enemies with special sprites. Wait a second, I'm spotting a recurring problem: laziness. I know it may sound a bit nitpicky, but it absolutely destroys the game, since the generic feel to levels makes them harder to navigate than the original "you can't see dick" Dragon Quest dungeons. Not exactly a good thing when your entire game revolves around finding certain objects in huge levels. It gets especially bad in the underwater levels, which I'll leave at "they would confuse the Minotaur." The only rule for any type of navigation in this game is "you find the 'key' first, then go to the boss"; if you find the "locked door" to the boss, you know that the "key" must be nearby. Other than that, good luck. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Captain Novolin is the diabetes game. How can this be? Packy & Marlon is actually a game. Granted, it's a shit game, but at least it has gameplay of some type. How can it be beat by nothing itself? You know what, Packy & Marlon? Both of you get the Mega Failure Award for Being Less Entertaining than Captain Fucking Novolin.
 

Review Synopsis

  • Is there a single diabetes game that actually makes diabetes fun?
  • Everything about this game is generic as hell, including the diabetes, somehow.
  • Generic everything=hard to navigate levels.
Posted by dankempster

I don't think I've ever seen the word "diabetes" repeated so many times in a single blog post. 
 
...Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen the word "diabetes" in a blog post, period. 
 
Thanks, King, for playing these games so we don't have to. You're like a gaming version of the Nostalgia Critic or something. Also, I fear just a little bit for your sanity.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@dankempster: 
 
That's because nobody knew that there were diabetes games for the SNES. Again, I had to add the Packy & Marlon page to the site.
 
Nostalgia Critic? The guy who does that pretentious orgasm catchphrase thing at the beginning of each of his videos? Oddly enough, the name fits like a glove.
Posted by Tebbit

Wilford Brimley's gonna be fucking pissed.

Posted by mylifeforAiur

Now that I think about it, I probably like Rugrats more than King of the Hill. Anyway, only 32 games left! Keep fighting the good fight^^

Posted by Video_Game_King
@Tebbit: 
 
I thought he had diabeetus.
 
@mylifeforAiur:
 
That's probably the same for all people. Oh, and funny thing, that: the related videos to this are fucked up, one of them featuring Hank spraying a naked Bobby. I only know this via the video thumbnail. I've seen a few that aren't that, and they all suck. Except for this one:
 
  
  

Posted by Tebbit
@Video_Game_King: How embarrassing. This is just like that time I got AIDS mixed up with "aides".
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Tebbit: 
 
And then that guy had sex with you, because he was thinking, "Oh, he has AIDS, I have AIDS, what's the problem? Let's get it on!"?
Posted by Tebbit
@Video_Game_King: It's not the first time I've been mistaken for Freddy Mercury, and it won't be the last.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Tebbit: 
 
Given that the guy's dead, it probably will be.
Posted by Tebbit
@Video_Game_King: You'd be surprised.
Posted by Jeust
@dankempster said:
" I don't think I've ever seen the word "diabetes" repeated so many times in a single blog post. 
 
...Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen the word "diabetes" in a blog post, period. 
 
Thanks, King, for playing these games so we don't have to. You're like a gaming version of the Nostalgia Critic or something. Also, I fear just a little bit for your sanity. "
I think it is safe to say that he, besides being the Video_Game_king, is also a professional in the field of diabetes by now. 
 
It is good to have such a sovereign! 
 
All hail the Video_Game_King!!!
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Jeust: 
 
That's more like it! Everybody else must hereby do exactly what he's doing, or else...I'll....uh...I'll...give you diabetes! Yes! You'll be forced to take the diabetes pill and get diabetes! That's how it works, right? These games aren't really helpful with diabetes, somehow.
Posted by BraveToaster

My head exploded.

Posted by Jeust
@Video_Game_King said:
" @Jeust:   That's more like it! Everybody else must hereby do exactly what he's doing, or else...I'll....uh...I'll...give you diabetes! Yes! You'll be forced to take the diabetes pill and get diabetes! That's how it works, right? These games aren't really helpful with diabetes, somehow. "
hehehe I imagine. Those games were probably painful to play too!
Posted by LordAndrew

This blog more than exceeds my daily recommended intake of diabeetus.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@Jeust: 
 
Let me put it this way: they're awful.
 
@LordAndrew:
 
Wait, I thought diabeetus was something different. Is it the same as diabetes?
Posted by Jeust
@Video_Game_King: I imagine. Keep the good work King!
Posted by ArbitraryWater

I know people in my family who have the diabetes, so I find this blog offensive. Fie upon you sir, and all you stand for. Ok. Not really. But, you probably should play like... Fire Emblem or something. Wash away all the mediocre obscure platformers and insulin resistance information games with some good old fashioned sadistic tactical action.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@ArbitraryWater: 
 
Sorry, but I've kinda milked the series dry, at this point. True, there's still Shin Monshou no Nazo, but that still needs to be released in America. I'll just have to make due with Advance Wars or Warsong, the two closest things.
Posted by Claude
@Video_Game_King said:
" @ArbitraryWater:   Sorry, but I've kinda milked the series dry, at this point. True, there's still Shin Monshou no Nazo, but that still needs to be released in America. I'll just have to make due with Advance Wars or Warsong, the two closest things. "
@ArbitraryWater said:
" I know people in my family who have the diabetes, so I find this blog offensive. Fie upon you sir, and all you stand for. Ok. Not really. But, you probably should play like... Fire Emblem or something. Wash away all the mediocre obscure platformers and insulin resistance information games with some good old fashioned sadistic tactical action. "
Diabetes should be joked about and brought to a human cognitive scale.
 
My wife is diabetic, but it's more Lupus... very complicated. Amputations can happen with people with Neuropathy. 
 
It's weird, but funny.
 


The aftermath, just real.  
 


  I told her she would be a perfect peg leg pirate. Or Frankenstein's Monster... 
 

 Wrong answer.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Claude: 
 
Wait, she has diabetes and lupus? Does that mean that if her blood sugar gets too low, she becomes a werewolf or something? Actually, that would be a good idea for a game, maybe.
 
Other than that, holy shit, those pictures make me uncomfortable.
Posted by Claude
@Video_Game_King said:
" @Claude:   Wait, she has diabetes and lupus? Does that mean that if her blood sugar gets too low, she becomes a werewolf or something? Actually, that would be a good idea for a game, maybe.  Other than that, holy shit, those pictures make me uncomfortable. "
You could not imagine. I've seen some strange things, things we forget, and she doesn't remember. Even doctors and nurses learn something new.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Claude: 
 
Not sure how that works, given that they're the ones doing surgery. What, do they suddenly have an epiphany that the inside of the human leg is not made of cement?
Edited by Claude
@Video_Game_King said:

" @Claude:   Not sure how that works, given that they're the ones doing surgery. What, do they suddenly have an epiphany that the inside of the human leg is not made of cement? "

She had a diabetic ulcer that caused an infection in the bone of her heel. It had to go... the fevers got worse. The werewolf showed its face. The limb had to go. But Lupus still remains. Sorry to hijack. Crap.
Posted by Dalai

I'm beginning to think you're now making up games just to pad your still very insane number of games you've played/finished. 
 
And now... back to my bag of M&M's.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@Dalai: 
 
I've beaten more obscure games, you know. Ones with less video proof.
Posted by Claude
@Dalai said:
  And now... back to my bag of M&M's. "
I'm more of a beer man when I enjoy the chaos that is... THE INTERNET
 
"Lights a cigarette, the beer is gone."
Posted by ArbitraryWater
@Claude: The person I know was recently diagnosed, so it's still kind of a sensitive issue. However, if you can joke about something as totally morbid as your wife having to have her leg amputated because of Diabetic Lupus, then good on you. I probably couldn't do that. 
 
@Video_Game_King: Advance Wars 2 is a fairly hateful game, at least what I remember of the later missions. The last mission especially: You have 30 days to destroy the enemy deathray, which happens to fire every 7 days right in the path of pretty much all your units. Did I mention that the enemy has a significant advantage in military and financial resources? It makes the last missions of AW1 and Dual Strike look pretty easy. Don't know about Days of Ruin though, other than the part where the campaign is apparently pretty much trial and error and they introduce concepts to the player at a Final Fantasy XIII pace.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@ArbitraryWater said:
" at a Final Fantasy XIII pace. "
You mean introduce concepts somewhat normally at the beginning, and then throw one in at random near the end, just so people can call it a 30 hour tutorial? Dicks.
Posted by Claude
@ArbitraryWater:  Listen, we joke because it's real. I give to St. Judes every month because I can. Love, hope and laughter go a long way.
Posted by ArbitraryWater
@Video_Game_King said:
" @ArbitraryWater said:
" at a Final Fantasy XIII pace. "
You mean introduce concepts somewhat normally at the beginning, and then throw one in at random near the end, just so people can call it a 30 hour tutorial? Dicks. "
No, I mean you don't get access to the ability to load your CO in a unit (which is what differentiates the COs in the first place) until somewhere around 2/3 through the campaign. That, and from what I played (on a friend's copy) imply that it's a pretty bad campaign anyways.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@ArbitraryWater: 
 
I'd lecture you on all the ways you're wrong, but I'm lazy. Besides, we must talk about shitty diabetes games. When will they stop?
Posted by Claude
@Video_Game_King said:
" @ArbitraryWater:   I'd lecture you on all the ways you're wrong, but I'm lazy. Besides, we must talk about shitty diabetes games. When will they stop? "
Next blog?
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Claude said:
" @Video_Game_King said:
" @ArbitraryWater:   I'd lecture you on all the ways you're wrong, but I'm lazy. Besides, we must talk about shitty diabetes games. When will they stop? "
Next blog? "
Yea, kinda.
Posted by ArbitraryWater
@Video_Game_King:  They will stop when the Diabetes stops? Or when the N64 gets released? I mean, other than on Wiiware, where have you seen an educational game released on a conventional system?
Posted by Video_Game_King
@ArbitraryWater: 
 
Somehow, even though the original quote is right above you, I've forgotten what this is about. Also, the two games I just blogged about. SNES is conventional, right?
Edited by Claude
Posted by luce

Balls. 
 
That is my contribution to this blog. 
 
Also this:  
 



Posted by Video_Game_King
@luce: 
 
You idiot! Balls don't cure diabetes! Wait, is that true? Somebody get me Captain Novolin so I can force him to suck my balls!
Posted by zepp

Hah, Packy & Marlon game sounds like a hoot.  I love games that attempt to be educational but, fail miserably at doing so.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@zepp: 
 
Really? Because I absolutely hate them. They make for interesting blogs, but that's about it.
Posted by zepp
@Video_Game_King:  Oh I only love them for their potential entertainment value. I love games or any form of entertainment, that takes it's self too seriously, while conveying a message that is either extremely odd or really stupid .