How the hell am I the only birthday this year?

Yep, it's my birthday

( But how am I the only one this year?) Last year, there were so many birthdays flooding the forums that you'd think Satan Claus's escaped elves decided to fuck all the Earth women during the Christmas season. This year, I seem to be the only one celebrating another year closer to the Reaper's grasp. Despite this, I decided to swim against the non-existent tide and do the unprecedented: travel into the future so I can know what happened on my birthday, even as I'm doing it! And time-travel I did, meeting myself at noon, destroying any chance of lunch, what with the ensuing horrific identity crisis. But oh, how we made up for it! We (what the hell is the plural first person when you're with yourself? Damn the English language!) spent the day beating/losing to each other in Brawl, using those pesky Mooninites as target practice, and permanently vowing NEVER to do anything like this. (Oddly enough, the English language DOES have a word for that: Ouroboros.)
 
Of course, after a long day of giving a stern fuck you to causality, we decided to go out for dinner (it was not Ouroboros!) at Uno's. We had a pretty good time, the only regret being that I couldn't continue waxing philosophical with Icemael. (That was an incredibly heated and intellectual discussion. He's a pretty worthy opponent.) The best I could do was discuss Descartes with myself, and we found myself agreeing with Søren Kierkegaard on the matter. (If you find that sentence a bit dry for your tastes, just focus on how funny that Danish guy's name is.) When dinner finally ended, we were greeted with a surprise party, and, in a great panic, I shot the nearest soldier. Then I shot him again because the act reminded me of this one battle from Tactics Ogre, a game that's kinda pissing me off at this point. After said soldier was taken to the nearest hospital, out came the presents! A list of them:
 
  • A wireless adapter for my 360. OK, this one was just a replacement for one that was previously lost, but not by me. I suspect the goblins got to it.
  • This shirt. I realize what a flagrant offense this is to Mario canon, which is why I'll wear it, anyway. Somebody's gotta shake up the Former Mushroom Kingdom.
  • A fridge. Somebody must've heard about my love for fridge sled races.
  • A cell-phone. OK, this one just confuses me, since I already have that video phone thing from that one episode of Futurama.
  • Singularity. I refused to play it today due to the time travel mechanic; I don't want a meta birthday.
  • Dragon Quest IX. Despite the character creation feature, I'm not playing as Bushwald Sexyface this time. Although...
 

His Holiness, Bushwald Sexyface.

I also intend on getting Metroid: Other M tomorrow, something I'm used to in terms of games and birthdays. A shitload of awesome games come out on the 31st, yet I could only find four that came out on my birthday. One of them was The Guy Game. You understand my pain, no? Then give me better gifts than The Guy Game, damn you!
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Posted by Video_Game_King

Yep, it's my birthday

( But how am I the only one this year?) Last year, there were so many birthdays flooding the forums that you'd think Satan Claus's escaped elves decided to fuck all the Earth women during the Christmas season. This year, I seem to be the only one celebrating another year closer to the Reaper's grasp. Despite this, I decided to swim against the non-existent tide and do the unprecedented: travel into the future so I can know what happened on my birthday, even as I'm doing it! And time-travel I did, meeting myself at noon, destroying any chance of lunch, what with the ensuing horrific identity crisis. But oh, how we made up for it! We (what the hell is the plural first person when you're with yourself? Damn the English language!) spent the day beating/losing to each other in Brawl, using those pesky Mooninites as target practice, and permanently vowing NEVER to do anything like this. (Oddly enough, the English language DOES have a word for that: Ouroboros.)
 
Of course, after a long day of giving a stern fuck you to causality, we decided to go out for dinner (it was not Ouroboros!) at Uno's. We had a pretty good time, the only regret being that I couldn't continue waxing philosophical with Icemael. (That was an incredibly heated and intellectual discussion. He's a pretty worthy opponent.) The best I could do was discuss Descartes with myself, and we found myself agreeing with Søren Kierkegaard on the matter. (If you find that sentence a bit dry for your tastes, just focus on how funny that Danish guy's name is.) When dinner finally ended, we were greeted with a surprise party, and, in a great panic, I shot the nearest soldier. Then I shot him again because the act reminded me of this one battle from Tactics Ogre, a game that's kinda pissing me off at this point. After said soldier was taken to the nearest hospital, out came the presents! A list of them:
 
  • A wireless adapter for my 360. OK, this one was just a replacement for one that was previously lost, but not by me. I suspect the goblins got to it.
  • This shirt. I realize what a flagrant offense this is to Mario canon, which is why I'll wear it, anyway. Somebody's gotta shake up the Former Mushroom Kingdom.
  • A fridge. Somebody must've heard about my love for fridge sled races.
  • A cell-phone. OK, this one just confuses me, since I already have that video phone thing from that one episode of Futurama.
  • Singularity. I refused to play it today due to the time travel mechanic; I don't want a meta birthday.
  • Dragon Quest IX. Despite the character creation feature, I'm not playing as Bushwald Sexyface this time. Although...
 

His Holiness, Bushwald Sexyface.

I also intend on getting Metroid: Other M tomorrow, something I'm used to in terms of games and birthdays. A shitload of awesome games come out on the 31st, yet I could only find four that came out on my birthday. One of them was The Guy Game. You understand my pain, no? Then give me better gifts than The Guy Game, damn you!
Online
Posted by KaosAngel

Happy birthday kiddo.  It was my birthday last Sunday by the way.  :P

Posted by Video_Game_King
@KaosAngel said:
"kiddo"
The hell? Did you hit quadruple digits last week?
Online
Posted by BulletproofMonk

There's a Uno's on the Moon? Damn.

Edited by No0b0rAmA

Happy Birthday! I also got a cellphone yesterday!

Posted by Sweep

HAPP BIRTH DAY VGK!! What are you drinking tonight?

Moderator
Posted by KaosAngel
@No0b0rAmA said:
" Happy Belated Birthday? I also got a cellphone yesterday! "
Wanna swap numbers then?
Posted by Video_Game_King
@No0b0rAmA: 
 
No, my birthday's today. It's just that I'm expecting to see myself this noon.
 
@Sweep:
 
If I remember correctly, whatever the hell makes me able to spell that Soren guy's name. It's some strong shit.
Online
Posted by c1337us

Happy birthday. Sounds like you had a good one. I plan on getting Metroid: Other M as well but it isn't out until the 2nd where I am from so I will have to do some time travelling as well if I want to get it any earlier.

Posted by BraveToaster

Happy Birthday. This blog was entertaining.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@c1337us: 
 
Shit, why didn't I think of the time travel thing?
Online
Posted by CaptainObvious

Happy Birthday! Can you send me pics of that fridge?

Edited by Jeust

Happy birthday you little moonie!  
 
And i see you went on a romantic dinner. Good for you! ^^ 

Posted by No0b0rAmA
@KaosAngel:
I live in Canada, so we have 14 digit phone numbers.
 
 
 
@Video_Game_King: I don't know what your talking about....I said happy birthday.
Posted by WoodenPlatypus

Happy Birthday and all.  
I'd be happier if there was no one else going on about their birthday on my birthday. 
Posted by PenguinDust

My birthday was yesterday (the 29th) but at my age I don't like to be reminded of it let alone celebrate it.  I did have some cake, though.  Anyway, Happy Birthday, your majesty. 
 
Bushwald Sexyface always surprises me.  It's like he's in my dreams.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@Jeust: 
 
Romantic? You mean Ouroboros, right?
 
@No0b0rAmA:
 
You said it was "belated." And you can't spell that without saying "elated", and honestly, this birthday wasn't particularly horny.
 
@WoodenPlatypus:
 
I'm just confused, since the only logical explanation is that half the GB users died, and that half was born around this time.
 
@PenguinDust:

"Like?" You mean he isn't already there?
Online
Posted by WoodenPlatypus
@Video_Game_King:
Someone probably killed them off so it could be only your special day. 
What a way to say happy birthday eh?
Posted by MistaSparkle

Heyo!!! Happy Birthday, bro! Mines on the 5th.

Posted by Jeust
@Video_Game_King: Yeah, right! ^^
Posted by Feanor
@KaosAngel: It was also my birthday last sunday
Posted by Oni

Happy birthday duder, that was an entertaining blog.

Posted by FlyingRat

Happy Birthday, sir!

Posted by Atomasist

Happy birthday, here is a picture of Tom Hanks.

Posted by bonbolapti

The least I could give you for your birthday is a fight to the death.
If you prevail, I will acknowledge your manhood. maybe we'll also go for ice cream.

Posted by Guided_By_Tigers

Happy birthday

Posted by Video_Game_King

  @WoodenPlatypus: 
 
Seems rather morbid, when you think about it.
 
@Atomasist:
 
Couldn't afford Burt Reynolds, could you?
 
@bonbolapti:
 
Be aware of my musical powers. * turns on battle music, transforms into Black Knight* You stand no chance!
 
Also, somewhat unoriginal of everybody just to say "happy birthday", isn't it?

Online
Posted by Yummylee

I..can't even begin to comprehend all this crazy. So...happy birthday, broski!....And I'll leave it at that.

Posted by eroticfishcake

Happy Birthday VGK. I hope the arthritis sets in quickly you bastard!

Posted by AgentJ

Yeah, that game sucked something horrendous.  
  
Wait, what are we talking about? 
 
Oh, Happy Birthday. 

Posted by Crono11

Happy Birthday, have Batman.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@eroticfishcake: 
 
It's been nearly 400 years; I think it would've set in by now.
 
@AgentJ:
 
I think you're trying to remember a gift from last year: Devil Survivor. Yes, it was a horrendous game, and bits of it are leaking into my once-kinda-OK Tactics Ogre.
Online
Posted by wefwefasdf

Happy birthday! All hail to the king?

Posted by Claude

Happy Birthday my King.
 

Signed:  Your adoring fan.
Posted by CL60

Why should I wish a moon person happy birthday? DIRTY MOON BEING.

Posted by JJWeatherman

Happy Birthday Bro Montana.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@SpikeSpiegel: 
 
No question marks. If anything, it needs punctuation that dictates how serious it is.......How about a semicolon?
 
@CL60:
 
* transforms into Golbez* You looking for trouble? I can double team your ass today.
 
@JJWeatherman:
 
I am not related to the Cyruseses, nor would I want to be.
Online
Posted by JJWeatherman
@Video_Game_King said:
"@JJWeatherman:  I am not related to the Cyruseses, nor would I want to be. "
I thought you were Joe Montana's brother.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@JJWeatherman: 
 
No, the Montanas are not royalty. If they were, it would be hard to explain why they're confined to your Earth football camps.
Online
Posted by iam3green

happy birthday, your not the only one. i have seen other birthday threads lately. i hope that you get what you want for your birthday.

Posted by CL60
@Video_Game_King: Bring it!
Posted by Video_Game_King
@CL60: 
 
Fine, I'm game. *blasts you with lightning, steals crystal* Your move. Wait, hold on. *blows up Mount Ordeals* There, now I'm ready.
Online
Posted by AhmadMetallic
@Video_Game_King: 
 mine was in march but i neither celebrate it nor care about it 
 i passionately curse and loathe that cursed day 
 so thats why !  for me atleast 
 
happy birthday king
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Ahmad_Metallic: 
 
I'd give you my time machine, but I know that you'd drag all of us along for the ride into paradoxes.
Online
Posted by CL60
@Video_Game_King: I give up again! One of these days, I will get you! Dirty moon being.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@CL60 said:
" @Video_Game_King: I give up again! One of these days, I will get you! Dirty moon being. "
At least my little dog's safe.
Online
Posted by AjayRaz

i gave you some david bowie tickets last year.. did you ever use them?  
anyway, happy birthday vgk! my present is giving up on you playing Carmageddon 64! 

Posted by AhmadMetallic
@Video_Game_King said:
" @Ahmad_Metallic:   I'd give you my time machine, but I know that you'd drag all of us along for the ride into paradoxes. "
all i wanna do is help my mom choke on a grape while she's pregnant with me 
please your majesty please
Posted by ArbitraryWater

Happy Birthday my good King.

Posted by crusader8463

My birthday is on the 21st of September. I just know that no one cares so I'm not singing about it from the roof tops.

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