LSD at parties: wow, didn't expect this.



LSD

( In case you're wondering, yes, that is an actual game.) Sort of; it's hard to call this thing a game, since it doesn't meet a lot of standards for what you'd call a game. OK, so you press buttons and that results in things happening, but keep in mind (hard, I know, since this game will destroy your mind) that there are no goals, no way to lose, no way to die, really, no ending (I had to come up with the custom (and oddly apt) 100 days thing to beat it), and nothing to do.
 
Shit, I just remembered something: this game has no story. Whatever, I'll make up for it by replicating the LSD experience in this very blog. How, you ask? By linking random phrases to even more random shit I found! Anyway, LSD was marketed as a dream emulator (you'd think dream simulator (build up for backward LSD), but it covers the LSD acronym part A LOT), which already brings up a few issues. First, I'm sure NiGHTS into Dreams covered the whole dream emulation thing about two years prior. Second, I was emulating this apparently-rare-as-hell game, meaning I was emulating an emulation. I'm not sure how that works, and that's not even factoring in that I'm emulating dreams. Is that illegal? Do I live in an Orwellian state or some type of corporate oligarchy, where even my most personal thoughts are ultimately the rightful products of some faceless being, using me only for their own selfish ends?
 
 Anybody know what this says? All I know is that there's a lot of underwear in this.
The weird thing, though, is that I called this a dream emulator. There's no way that it works like that. Instead, you wander around random areas, ranging from a lonely and incredibly depressing city (in my visit, I saw two dead bodies, an outline, and a trash can full of used limbs) to a spiral staircase that leads absolutely nowhere. You can't get stuck, however, as by touching any random object nearby, you'll be flashed away to a random location by a color with some type of hidden meaning. Hell, it doesn't even have to be an object, it just has to be something you can touch. Now repeat this until your dream is over next decade, and you get a graph corresponding to your experience. Here's mine from the final day. Notice how all the days seemed to gravitate toward the center. That's because these stats don't mean shit. That dream I mentioned earlier, where the only other people I found were dead? Turns out the game considers that an upper dream, since we all know the greatest cure for depression is a dead body. The only constant I found was that the man in black is a major bummer. You can't do anything with him, as he flashes away when you approach. Just who the hell is this mystery man?
 
Of course, the game had me asking a lot more questions than that. Why is everything coated in Japanese? Why do some dreams consist merely of weird-ass videos? What the hell is the flashback option, and why does it go away when I jump off cliffs in my dreams? Most importantly, why the hell isn't anything happening? Once you get used to the weird nature of this game, you slowly start to realize just how much nothing there is in this game. You can only interact with things by walking straight into them, so your first instinct in each area will be to run face first into the nearest object, which, now that I think about it, is my approach to dating. The only difference is the amount of success here, in that there's a little bit. Some objects unlock neat little movies, others warp you to places, but the only way you can find out is through trial, error, and more error. Error results in being warped to a random location, although things get less random when you realize that levels repeat A LOT. It'll try to hid this by covering the levels in Japanese or using other weird textures, but you'll catch on quick. There was this one area the game repeated a lot: it was a large square with two exits and a giant hole. My first instinct upon seeing this area was to run into the nearest object just to get the hell out of there. Of course, the game gets weird with the warping, sometimes sending you to the same place where you just were, or launching you into the sky, but I needed ANYTHING to get away from that damn square room! GRR!!! Why couldn't you have more variety, LSD? I expected more from a game named after a drug. That's why I'm giving you the Cough Drop Overdose Award for Being Crap in Terms of Druggery.
 

Review Synopsis

  • Weird as shit, impossible to lose.
  • Runs out of steam pretty damn fast.
  • 日本語の多く。
 
 
 
 
As long as we're on the subject of dreams and things that are as confusing as shit...
 
 

Mario Party 3

( Come on, I just had to do this game.) Look at that number I've been awkwardly inserting into my headers for the past 18 blogs: 64. How could I not do an N64 game? That'd be like blogging about parody films without mentioning how shit they are. Besides, it's a decent game, and isn't that enough reason to blog about it? No, it isn't? Well, how about this: it has a dildo joke buried in there at some point. Happy now?
 
Anyway, Mario Party 3: every 1000 years, a Millennium Star is born with a full mustache and bushy eyebrows. Like just about everything in the Mario Party universe, it grants a wish...under certain circumstances, of course. Before he'll do anything for you, you need to fill out a stamp card, like you're doing some weird Disneyland family activity or some shit. After you fill out each stamp, you'll see Bowser come onto the scene for the Douche Dance before everybody walks away out of some deep sense of shame. This may not sound like much, since the story's so formulaic that it's taught in calculus classes across the world, but unlike the other Mario Party games, there's a good reason for the story: it has a story mode. You know, for the poor bastards who want to party alone before drowning their sorrows in lukewarm beer and salty tears. Wow, your sadness is poetic.
 
 That explains all those images I found on Google.
Of course, for those of us who...OK, I wasn't playing this game multiplayer, but only because I gave the multiplayer love to Melee. I could at least transfer that easily into beating up the computers in the new duel mode, what's your excuse? Oh, you don't know what duel mode is? That's not even not an excuse; that's, like, the opposite of an excuse, whatever that is! I think it's duel mode, maybe, since I can't think of anything opposite "excuse." Anyway, duel mode's pretty much like a downgraded version of the regular game (no items, only 2 players, about 3 space types, etc.), but with one redeeming feature: combat. You and your opponent each get one partner (and another one later) who will beat the shit out of the opposition until the game ends. It sounds simple, and while it definitely is, and while it isn't the most balanced thing out there (land on a reverse space, and your opponent is SCREWED), I always found something satisfying about pairing Piranha Plants with Snipits to get Super Mega Death Team. That probably explains why nobody would play multiplayer with me: nobody else ever loved that mode as much as I did. "Screw them", I would say, shaking my fist at them, "I can still get it in single player!"
 
Meanwhile, they'd be playing some random mini-game, not even aware that I was shaking my fist. We all know how it works: collect stars, play some mini-games, collect more stars, somehow don't get the prediction to win (I guess you can buy more stars with half a coin) and at the end of it all, the Millenium Star furiously vibrates like a rampaging dildo in a ceremony to announce the winner. That hasn't really changed, as should be obvious to anybody not stuck on the picture of Cockzilla. What isn't obvious is that Cockzilla is on his way to your house. Also, the gameplay's been pretty damn refined, like how Bowser now gives out coins to those in last place (apparently the Bowser Revolution didn't piss off Republicans enough), or how you can carry multiple items. Yes, multiple items. You're still limited to one per turn, but that means you can begin one turn with a genie lamp, another with a Boo bell, and the third with a boot up your ass. That's what strategy gets you.
 
Oh, wait, that's the one thing Nintendo forgot to improve when making this game: the balance issues. Baby Bowser stars are gone, but that's about it, and it isn't even much when you consider what they've added. Specifically, that asshole Shy Guy, who steals your money, forces you into his casino, screwing you up the ass harder than that boot from the last paragraph. I guess in order to balance this out, Nintendo made computer AI so stupid that it'll call Bowser on itself. (The lesson to take away from that sentence is that communists are stupid.) I guess to balance that out, they added a shitton of games (good) that usually tend to favor one side (bad). OK, I'm probably exaggerating on that, especially since the game's still pretty damn fun as it is, but it's still hard to keep a controller out of somebody's throat when you find yourself paired up with the computer in the two vs two mini-games. That certainly explains why I gave this game the Melee Award for Most Violent Game with No Actual Violence.
 

Review Synopsis

  • Finally, Nintendo threw a bone to those without friends! And another, in the form of duel mode!
  • Mostly the same, but that's not a bad thing.
  • No, that comes up when you lose all your coins to that damn Shy Guy, only to watch the computer waste a magic lamp you would've stolen from them had you landed a few spaces further.

26 Comments
27 Comments
Posted by Video_Game_King


LSD

( In case you're wondering, yes, that is an actual game.) Sort of; it's hard to call this thing a game, since it doesn't meet a lot of standards for what you'd call a game. OK, so you press buttons and that results in things happening, but keep in mind (hard, I know, since this game will destroy your mind) that there are no goals, no way to lose, no way to die, really, no ending (I had to come up with the custom (and oddly apt) 100 days thing to beat it), and nothing to do.
 
Shit, I just remembered something: this game has no story. Whatever, I'll make up for it by replicating the LSD experience in this very blog. How, you ask? By linking random phrases to even more random shit I found! Anyway, LSD was marketed as a dream emulator (you'd think dream simulator (build up for backward LSD), but it covers the LSD acronym part A LOT), which already brings up a few issues. First, I'm sure NiGHTS into Dreams covered the whole dream emulation thing about two years prior. Second, I was emulating this apparently-rare-as-hell game, meaning I was emulating an emulation. I'm not sure how that works, and that's not even factoring in that I'm emulating dreams. Is that illegal? Do I live in an Orwellian state or some type of corporate oligarchy, where even my most personal thoughts are ultimately the rightful products of some faceless being, using me only for their own selfish ends?
 
 Anybody know what this says? All I know is that there's a lot of underwear in this.
The weird thing, though, is that I called this a dream emulator. There's no way that it works like that. Instead, you wander around random areas, ranging from a lonely and incredibly depressing city (in my visit, I saw two dead bodies, an outline, and a trash can full of used limbs) to a spiral staircase that leads absolutely nowhere. You can't get stuck, however, as by touching any random object nearby, you'll be flashed away to a random location by a color with some type of hidden meaning. Hell, it doesn't even have to be an object, it just has to be something you can touch. Now repeat this until your dream is over next decade, and you get a graph corresponding to your experience. Here's mine from the final day. Notice how all the days seemed to gravitate toward the center. That's because these stats don't mean shit. That dream I mentioned earlier, where the only other people I found were dead? Turns out the game considers that an upper dream, since we all know the greatest cure for depression is a dead body. The only constant I found was that the man in black is a major bummer. You can't do anything with him, as he flashes away when you approach. Just who the hell is this mystery man?
 
Of course, the game had me asking a lot more questions than that. Why is everything coated in Japanese? Why do some dreams consist merely of weird-ass videos? What the hell is the flashback option, and why does it go away when I jump off cliffs in my dreams? Most importantly, why the hell isn't anything happening? Once you get used to the weird nature of this game, you slowly start to realize just how much nothing there is in this game. You can only interact with things by walking straight into them, so your first instinct in each area will be to run face first into the nearest object, which, now that I think about it, is my approach to dating. The only difference is the amount of success here, in that there's a little bit. Some objects unlock neat little movies, others warp you to places, but the only way you can find out is through trial, error, and more error. Error results in being warped to a random location, although things get less random when you realize that levels repeat A LOT. It'll try to hid this by covering the levels in Japanese or using other weird textures, but you'll catch on quick. There was this one area the game repeated a lot: it was a large square with two exits and a giant hole. My first instinct upon seeing this area was to run into the nearest object just to get the hell out of there. Of course, the game gets weird with the warping, sometimes sending you to the same place where you just were, or launching you into the sky, but I needed ANYTHING to get away from that damn square room! GRR!!! Why couldn't you have more variety, LSD? I expected more from a game named after a drug. That's why I'm giving you the Cough Drop Overdose Award for Being Crap in Terms of Druggery.
 

Review Synopsis

  • Weird as shit, impossible to lose.
  • Runs out of steam pretty damn fast.
  • 日本語の多く。
 
 
 
 
As long as we're on the subject of dreams and things that are as confusing as shit...
 
 

Mario Party 3

( Come on, I just had to do this game.) Look at that number I've been awkwardly inserting into my headers for the past 18 blogs: 64. How could I not do an N64 game? That'd be like blogging about parody films without mentioning how shit they are. Besides, it's a decent game, and isn't that enough reason to blog about it? No, it isn't? Well, how about this: it has a dildo joke buried in there at some point. Happy now?
 
Anyway, Mario Party 3: every 1000 years, a Millennium Star is born with a full mustache and bushy eyebrows. Like just about everything in the Mario Party universe, it grants a wish...under certain circumstances, of course. Before he'll do anything for you, you need to fill out a stamp card, like you're doing some weird Disneyland family activity or some shit. After you fill out each stamp, you'll see Bowser come onto the scene for the Douche Dance before everybody walks away out of some deep sense of shame. This may not sound like much, since the story's so formulaic that it's taught in calculus classes across the world, but unlike the other Mario Party games, there's a good reason for the story: it has a story mode. You know, for the poor bastards who want to party alone before drowning their sorrows in lukewarm beer and salty tears. Wow, your sadness is poetic.
 
 That explains all those images I found on Google.
Of course, for those of us who...OK, I wasn't playing this game multiplayer, but only because I gave the multiplayer love to Melee. I could at least transfer that easily into beating up the computers in the new duel mode, what's your excuse? Oh, you don't know what duel mode is? That's not even not an excuse; that's, like, the opposite of an excuse, whatever that is! I think it's duel mode, maybe, since I can't think of anything opposite "excuse." Anyway, duel mode's pretty much like a downgraded version of the regular game (no items, only 2 players, about 3 space types, etc.), but with one redeeming feature: combat. You and your opponent each get one partner (and another one later) who will beat the shit out of the opposition until the game ends. It sounds simple, and while it definitely is, and while it isn't the most balanced thing out there (land on a reverse space, and your opponent is SCREWED), I always found something satisfying about pairing Piranha Plants with Snipits to get Super Mega Death Team. That probably explains why nobody would play multiplayer with me: nobody else ever loved that mode as much as I did. "Screw them", I would say, shaking my fist at them, "I can still get it in single player!"
 
Meanwhile, they'd be playing some random mini-game, not even aware that I was shaking my fist. We all know how it works: collect stars, play some mini-games, collect more stars, somehow don't get the prediction to win (I guess you can buy more stars with half a coin) and at the end of it all, the Millenium Star furiously vibrates like a rampaging dildo in a ceremony to announce the winner. That hasn't really changed, as should be obvious to anybody not stuck on the picture of Cockzilla. What isn't obvious is that Cockzilla is on his way to your house. Also, the gameplay's been pretty damn refined, like how Bowser now gives out coins to those in last place (apparently the Bowser Revolution didn't piss off Republicans enough), or how you can carry multiple items. Yes, multiple items. You're still limited to one per turn, but that means you can begin one turn with a genie lamp, another with a Boo bell, and the third with a boot up your ass. That's what strategy gets you.
 
Oh, wait, that's the one thing Nintendo forgot to improve when making this game: the balance issues. Baby Bowser stars are gone, but that's about it, and it isn't even much when you consider what they've added. Specifically, that asshole Shy Guy, who steals your money, forces you into his casino, screwing you up the ass harder than that boot from the last paragraph. I guess in order to balance this out, Nintendo made computer AI so stupid that it'll call Bowser on itself. (The lesson to take away from that sentence is that communists are stupid.) I guess to balance that out, they added a shitton of games (good) that usually tend to favor one side (bad). OK, I'm probably exaggerating on that, especially since the game's still pretty damn fun as it is, but it's still hard to keep a controller out of somebody's throat when you find yourself paired up with the computer in the two vs two mini-games. That certainly explains why I gave this game the Melee Award for Most Violent Game with No Actual Violence.
 

Review Synopsis

  • Finally, Nintendo threw a bone to those without friends! And another, in the form of duel mode!
  • Mostly the same, but that's not a bad thing.
  • No, that comes up when you lose all your coins to that damn Shy Guy, only to watch the computer waste a magic lamp you would've stolen from them had you landed a few spaces further.

Posted by ZeForgotten

Hey, I'm happy to see that I am not the only one who knows about LSD. 
One thing in that random piece of shit-"game" would usually freak me out.  
Stalker guy with a hat and a knife....  
 
now I just enjoy popping it in for a random "dream" now and again.  
Sad to see I'm one of the only ones who enjoy the total randomness of it though, but glad that someone else knows about it =D 
 
I could not care less about Mario Party 3 though. 
Or any of the other 10.000 Mario Party games

Posted by ClaritySam

Just had a mental image of every mod on the site rushing in here to lock this and going "oh its a game....." ;-)

Edited by FirePrince

  

  LSD scares me.Is that normal?  

Posted by PaulM

I'v done lsd and it's not as crazy as this game your talking about.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@ZeForgotten: 
 
Stalker with a knife? All I got was a guy who shot me when I entered a building.
 
Come on, Mario Party 3 was the height of Mario Parties. That's where Peach and Daisy totally whipped theirs' out.
 
@ClaritySam:
 
That's what I get for thinking of a title after writing the blog.
 
@FirePrince:
 
Wait, Violence District? That's just the regular ass building you start out in. The most violent thing I've seen in that area is a guy sleeping underneath a blanket.
Posted by InfiniteStateMachine

Whoa that's kind of awesome

Posted by TwoLines

Looking at the youtube videos, this is more of an experiment than a game.
But to emulate the dreams fully, the game- or emulation- would need to randomly generate more than desolate locations.
Dreams have plot and characters. I don't know what the guys that made this were thinking. 

Just throw a bunch of objects together, and let's call it a night boys!
Party at Jim's house woohoo!

Posted by ArbitraryWater

So...is LSD meant to replicate the effects of getting blazed on acid? Because it kind of scares me. And also reminds me of Daggerfall with that primitive 3D, but that game is messed up in its own special way. 
 
As for Mario Party 3, that is one of the ones I used to own. I remember playing Duel against the computer a lot, even though there's not exactly much depth to be found there. But that's what happens when you don't have many friends...

Posted by Video_Game_King
@TwoLines: 
 
Yea, that's the main problem with the game: it gets old FAST. Coating everything in Japanese doesn't help.
 
@ArbitraryWater:
 
If it is, it's not very strong acid. I imagine an acid trip that consists of looking at grainy footage of gears would suck the balls you should be tripping.
 
I had the friends to play Mario Party 3, but apparently, not enough to play Duel Mode. I remember loving that a bit more than the actual party part.
Posted by AjayRaz

i was waiting a long time for that LSD review. man, what kind of human being designed that sort of game?  
also, mario party is still the shit. the N64 ones, anyway. say, speaking of N64...

Posted by Video_Game_King
@AjayRaz: 
 
I still have other N64 games out there, like Custom Robo (if I can ever figure out how to get to the game parts of it) and StarCraft (if I can ever get around to finishing Fallout first).
Posted by AjayRaz
Posted by Video_Game_King
@AjayRaz: 
 
That reminds me....*fiddles around with little wrinkly part of elbow*....Nobody else gets that damn Clone High reference?
Posted by AjayRaz
@Video_Game_King: i think we're the only people on the entire site that have seen Clone High 
Posted by Crono11
@AjayRaz said:
" @Video_Game_King: i think we're the only people on the entire site that have seen Clone High  "
I love Clone High. Up here in Canada it went on for a little longer then it did in the States.
Posted by AjayRaz
@crono11 said:
" @AjayRaz said:
" @Video_Game_King: i think we're the only people on the entire site that have seen Clone High  "
I love Clone High. Up here in Canada it went on for a little longer then it did in the States. "
i'm in Canada, too :P glad to see that someone else saw it 
Posted by Video_Game_King
@AjayRaz said:
" @Video_Game_King: i think we're the only people on the entire site that have seen Clone High  "
And I had to be reminded that the damn show even existed.
Posted by Pepsiman

Your Japanese is off on that third bullet. There are a lot of ways to say, "lots of Japanese," which include, depending on how much context you wanna give:
 

  • ゲームには日本語が多く書かれている。
  • 日本語が多い。
  • 日本語での言葉が多い。
  • いい翻訳を調べると、グーグルで言葉を引かないようにしろう。1年生の習っている学生でも、これほど訳し方を知らないにちがいない。
 
For the record, that text in the screenshot is about an underwear shop and underwear in general. Oh, and dobermans, towards the end. Yep.
 
@ZeForgotten: I've known about LSD for years and also like to play it every now and again for my own amusement and sometimes for others' as well. The randomness is certainly a hit-or-miss thing with people, but I personally enjoy it when I'm in the right mood.
Posted by Damien

I thought you were talking about drugs.

Posted by Bigandtasty

Mushroom Genie makes me laugh. I just imagine him as a character in a stoner cartoon.

Posted by buzz_killington

I thought you actually tried LSD... and I should share my own experiences... oh well.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@Pepsiman: 
 
The original message I wanted was "This game is COATED in Japanese", but Google Translator turned it into something that would make you think the whole game is drenched in the bodies of the Japanese. I wouldn't be surprised if that was true, but not the message I wanted. I kept fiddling around until I found something close to what I wanted. Unfortunately, I could never get it to talk about the language, so I said "Fuck it" and took one that translated well and replaced 人 with 語.
 
@Bigandtasty:
 
While a lot about this game comes across as fucked up, oddly enough, that one isn't the stoner one. Just look.
Posted by mylifeforAiur

Great stuff!! It's also good to see that you've reviewed the most random game in the world 0_O-- Also, someone likes his Mario party games ;)

Posted by Video_Game_King
@mylifeforAiur: 
 
That's the disappointing part, though: it's not the most random game in the world. It gets REALLY predictable quite fast.
Posted by Red12b

I came here expecting something very different to what was posted,  
I walked away with a grin, that dora trailer is fantastic, 

Posted by Jeust

Awesome blog. I loved the spoof :D