Nothing can stop my ego. NOTHING!

Devil May Cry 4

(Even without a computer, I'm still blogging!) There's no taming this ego! OK, self-congratulation aside, let's get into the actual game. Now remember when you were a kid, and you had a friend who wanted to be a firetruck when they grew up? Not a fireman, but a firetruck? Well, that kid probably grew up to become Devil May Cry 4, because this is the stupidest goddamn game I've played in a while.

Fortunately, the game is more than happy to remind you of this every few minutes. Action-y cutscenes just ooze throughout the experience, and each one is more laughably idiotic than the last. How do you top two white-haired demon dudes having a gun fight with bullets slower than the game's intelligence? By having these two incredibly similar characters hug it out with their legs, of course! Or how about riding an enemy like a Newton-enraging sled? Throw in Hollywood hardcore rock (that's the best term I could think of to describe it) and enough cleavage to set women's rights back about half a millennium, and you have a dumb action movie where you press buttons, sometimes....which I guess is kind of the point. When you see shit like this, that's your cue to turn your brain off and just enjoy how effing silly the experience is. If you're into that sort of thing, then more power to you, I guess.

And in the end...we are all satisfied.

But even ignoring that, the story isn't particularly well written. It's set in a small religious town where only the important characters can afford a fleshed-out wardrobe; everybody else dresses like they're about to bash some Templar skull in, for some reason. Then demons show up, and the oddly likeable Nero fights them while trying to figure out another motive. A common problem in games, I know, but I still don't like when characters don't have a clear motivation. Why is Nero exploring this huge night castle? Is it ever explained? True, it becomes relevant later, but until then, it doesn't make a ton of sense. Meanwhile, Dante's busy exerting no major influence on the plot and generally being that guy in his mid- to-late 30s who still thinks he's in his early 20s. You're not cool anymore, Dante. You're somebody's dad, now.

Speaking of wand-wait, that wasn't what I ended on. Well, remember how I said Nero likes bumbling around a huge castle for no real reason? Well, that's a lot of what the game is: environments that exist only to fill space. I don't know, but it just feels like the environments don't serve much of a purpose to the overall game. They delay the fights instead of continue the game. Sure, you get a couple of cool areas, like the midnight snow castle that opens into the mid-day forest just a few feet away (so Chickenhead can't be far behind, although in demon presence, it goes without saying), but the fights are just so much better (more on that in a bit, though). I can't blame it for not trying, though, given all the ideas it throws in your face. Demon grapples! Board games! Time lasers! Shouting secrets! Oh dear god! When will it all end!?

"I fail to see the logic here." Actual fucking quote from the game.

When I get to the combat, because as it turns out, Devil May Cry 4 really knows how to craft a competent combat system. In fact, let me walk you through it. Start off with a pair of guns. Ignore those guns, because they are worthless. Now add in a couple of other weapons, a shitload of moves, and have at it. It may not sound like much, but DMC4 manages to do a lot with it. You'll always have a ton of flexibility in how you build your combos and how you devil-fist an ice monster, even mid-combo. (Granted, a lot of them are merely variations on "press this button a lot" or "press this button while moving the stick this way, but the point is that you still have a lot of options at any given time.) This may not sound like much, but trust me: it's pretty damn fun when you're in the groove of things, effortlessly slashing from enemy to enemy while juggling nine others.

Wait, did I say "effortlessly"? I probably shouldn't have, because this isn't the easiest game in the world. Maybe I just suck at it (OK, I do suck at it), but I seem to remember far more deaths in this game than I care to mention. It doesn't help that the game insults you for these types of things, handing out handicaps against your will and whatnot. But I can't complain about it too much, since it's the difficulty that can make the game awesome a lot of the time. Nowhere is this made clearer than the Credo fight. It represents everything I could ever love about the game: it's challenging, flows nicely, and requires lightning-quick reflexes that make you feel like a goddamn god when you slash his smug face in two. Hell, his fight is so good it easily manages to eclipse the annoying Dante fight a couple of missions later. Speaking of, I guess my only complaint would be that Dante isn't as fun as Nero, since he trades in the grapple for switching out styles (a single move, really) mid-fight. Not the best way to handle things, but whatever. Minor complaint. So maybe this game isn't so much catatonically stupid and more just an idiot savant. It's the Rain Man of the video game world, is what I'm saying.

Review Synopsis

  • Man, this game's story is stupid.
  • And the environments sure are pointless.
  • But then the combat brings it all together.

And somehow, I still manage to find the strangest Japanese trends on YouTube.

Where do these even come from?

Super Mario 64 DS

(Now what we have here is an interesting project for this blog....sort of.) I'm sure you all know how important this game is to gaming history. It shaped not only an entire genre, but also a lot of how developers approach 3D games, at least early in the history of that technology. So will it be possible for me to put all this context aside (since I'm not too big a fan of context) and judge it for what it is (or something close to that)? Seems like it.....OK, that doesn't tell you much about my actual opinion regarding the game, so allow me to say it more bluntly: it's pretty cool.

Wait, this is the DS version. I'm gonna have to explain a few things. The controls are cramped and a bit iffy (Mario can turn on a dime, provided said dime is a mile wide), and the touch screen sucks, but on the whole, they get the job done. Let us contrast this with the new characters, who might as well not exist. Remember how this is a remake of an N64 game that originally had only one character? Meaning it was designed to use that one character? Guess what happens over the course of the game? That's right: you'll completely ignore every new character you get. I wanted to make a joke about Luigi being Jesus if he was cast into the Lake of the Dead, but why bother? It's not like you'll ever use him and get what the hell I'm saying. Sure, there are a few stars only they can get, but that justification fell apart at the word "few". Mario's gonna be getting them all, and when he needs another character, why bother switching? Just grab one of their hats (Yoshi's bloody scalp not included for whatever reason), assume their identity, and laugh in their dumb faces for ever thinking that they could be of use in Super Mario 64 DS. (Yoshi gets some importance in the ending, oddly enough, but that's about it.)

Remember the good old days, when this game still had a Persona 4 subplot?....Yea, me neither.

Although that Majora's Mask "I can become them with this hat" thing is certainly going in the right direction. I mean, the dreamy portions are what make the game so awesome in the first place. I know that sounds weird, but hear me out: what are the most memorable levels in the game? That penguin race? Get out of here with that fucking shit. Swimming around in a giant skybox full of water is what makes the game so good. You know, freaky shit like that, which makes almost no sense. Of course, it doesn't always work in its favor, power-ups being the most obvious place. I could say something about how broken they are (why shoot for that star when you can lazily float over their with your fat ass?), but instead, I wish to call out the flying cap. I can understand the appeal of it, but why does flying have to be so hard. It's far too physics based, and I'm not sure you can ever really gain altitude (or at least I was never able to). What, pray tell, is so fun about merely gliding? Nothing, that's what. Still, it's the thought that counts.

If you want more boring, pedestrian reasons for why I like the levels, though, I still have those. For instance, there's usually a lot to do in each level. Most of them are open world (at least the ones that know what they're doing), giving you a lot of room to explore and mess around with whatever you find. No, I mean it: there's a lot to do in these levels. 150 stars, about 8-ish per level, and it manages to get a lot of mileage outta these ideas. Normally, this would be where I just rattle off a few examples, but all I need to say is that you'll be collecting 8 red coins all the goddamn time and no two instances will feel exactly the same, even though it is essentially the exact same goal each time. Granted, a few of these stars are pretty lazily designed (Toad will literally just hand you a couple of stars from time to time), but dude! You get to drown caterpillars and then curb stomp them. Do I need to say more?

Well, yes, I do. If I had to complain about the ga....OK, I have, but let's pretend that I've mindlessly praised it up until now. Anyway, if I had to register one major complaint against the game, I guess I'd have to go with how easy it is. It's not exactly hard to figure out how to get a star, and that's pretty much all there is to getting the star. Obviously, this means you're gonna blow through the campaign in a couple of days before moving onto something more challenging (link to next blog). The boss battle is also not challenging. I know what I said; there's really only one boss battle in the game, and it's repeated a lot. You just throw the guy or generally knock them out of the ring. That's it. Repeat it a ton, and you have Super Mario 64 DS. Or just tag alongside a penguin so a snowman doesn't blow you off his chin, because that's Super Mario 64 DS, too.

Review Synopsis

  • Are the remake portions really needed?
  • Because the base game stands well enough on its own.
  • Mysterious Mountainside is still everything I could love about this game.
73 Comments
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Posted by Video_Game_King

Devil May Cry 4

(Even without a computer, I'm still blogging!) There's no taming this ego! OK, self-congratulation aside, let's get into the actual game. Now remember when you were a kid, and you had a friend who wanted to be a firetruck when they grew up? Not a fireman, but a firetruck? Well, that kid probably grew up to become Devil May Cry 4, because this is the stupidest goddamn game I've played in a while.

Fortunately, the game is more than happy to remind you of this every few minutes. Action-y cutscenes just ooze throughout the experience, and each one is more laughably idiotic than the last. How do you top two white-haired demon dudes having a gun fight with bullets slower than the game's intelligence? By having these two incredibly similar characters hug it out with their legs, of course! Or how about riding an enemy like a Newton-enraging sled? Throw in Hollywood hardcore rock (that's the best term I could think of to describe it) and enough cleavage to set women's rights back about half a millennium, and you have a dumb action movie where you press buttons, sometimes....which I guess is kind of the point. When you see shit like this, that's your cue to turn your brain off and just enjoy how effing silly the experience is. If you're into that sort of thing, then more power to you, I guess.

And in the end...we are all satisfied.

But even ignoring that, the story isn't particularly well written. It's set in a small religious town where only the important characters can afford a fleshed-out wardrobe; everybody else dresses like they're about to bash some Templar skull in, for some reason. Then demons show up, and the oddly likeable Nero fights them while trying to figure out another motive. A common problem in games, I know, but I still don't like when characters don't have a clear motivation. Why is Nero exploring this huge night castle? Is it ever explained? True, it becomes relevant later, but until then, it doesn't make a ton of sense. Meanwhile, Dante's busy exerting no major influence on the plot and generally being that guy in his mid- to-late 30s who still thinks he's in his early 20s. You're not cool anymore, Dante. You're somebody's dad, now.

Speaking of wand-wait, that wasn't what I ended on. Well, remember how I said Nero likes bumbling around a huge castle for no real reason? Well, that's a lot of what the game is: environments that exist only to fill space. I don't know, but it just feels like the environments don't serve much of a purpose to the overall game. They delay the fights instead of continue the game. Sure, you get a couple of cool areas, like the midnight snow castle that opens into the mid-day forest just a few feet away (so Chickenhead can't be far behind, although in demon presence, it goes without saying), but the fights are just so much better (more on that in a bit, though). I can't blame it for not trying, though, given all the ideas it throws in your face. Demon grapples! Board games! Time lasers! Shouting secrets! Oh dear god! When will it all end!?

"I fail to see the logic here." Actual fucking quote from the game.

When I get to the combat, because as it turns out, Devil May Cry 4 really knows how to craft a competent combat system. In fact, let me walk you through it. Start off with a pair of guns. Ignore those guns, because they are worthless. Now add in a couple of other weapons, a shitload of moves, and have at it. It may not sound like much, but DMC4 manages to do a lot with it. You'll always have a ton of flexibility in how you build your combos and how you devil-fist an ice monster, even mid-combo. (Granted, a lot of them are merely variations on "press this button a lot" or "press this button while moving the stick this way, but the point is that you still have a lot of options at any given time.) This may not sound like much, but trust me: it's pretty damn fun when you're in the groove of things, effortlessly slashing from enemy to enemy while juggling nine others.

Wait, did I say "effortlessly"? I probably shouldn't have, because this isn't the easiest game in the world. Maybe I just suck at it (OK, I do suck at it), but I seem to remember far more deaths in this game than I care to mention. It doesn't help that the game insults you for these types of things, handing out handicaps against your will and whatnot. But I can't complain about it too much, since it's the difficulty that can make the game awesome a lot of the time. Nowhere is this made clearer than the Credo fight. It represents everything I could ever love about the game: it's challenging, flows nicely, and requires lightning-quick reflexes that make you feel like a goddamn god when you slash his smug face in two. Hell, his fight is so good it easily manages to eclipse the annoying Dante fight a couple of missions later. Speaking of, I guess my only complaint would be that Dante isn't as fun as Nero, since he trades in the grapple for switching out styles (a single move, really) mid-fight. Not the best way to handle things, but whatever. Minor complaint. So maybe this game isn't so much catatonically stupid and more just an idiot savant. It's the Rain Man of the video game world, is what I'm saying.

Review Synopsis

  • Man, this game's story is stupid.
  • And the environments sure are pointless.
  • But then the combat brings it all together.

And somehow, I still manage to find the strangest Japanese trends on YouTube.

Where do these even come from?

Super Mario 64 DS

(Now what we have here is an interesting project for this blog....sort of.) I'm sure you all know how important this game is to gaming history. It shaped not only an entire genre, but also a lot of how developers approach 3D games, at least early in the history of that technology. So will it be possible for me to put all this context aside (since I'm not too big a fan of context) and judge it for what it is (or something close to that)? Seems like it.....OK, that doesn't tell you much about my actual opinion regarding the game, so allow me to say it more bluntly: it's pretty cool.

Wait, this is the DS version. I'm gonna have to explain a few things. The controls are cramped and a bit iffy (Mario can turn on a dime, provided said dime is a mile wide), and the touch screen sucks, but on the whole, they get the job done. Let us contrast this with the new characters, who might as well not exist. Remember how this is a remake of an N64 game that originally had only one character? Meaning it was designed to use that one character? Guess what happens over the course of the game? That's right: you'll completely ignore every new character you get. I wanted to make a joke about Luigi being Jesus if he was cast into the Lake of the Dead, but why bother? It's not like you'll ever use him and get what the hell I'm saying. Sure, there are a few stars only they can get, but that justification fell apart at the word "few". Mario's gonna be getting them all, and when he needs another character, why bother switching? Just grab one of their hats (Yoshi's bloody scalp not included for whatever reason), assume their identity, and laugh in their dumb faces for ever thinking that they could be of use in Super Mario 64 DS. (Yoshi gets some importance in the ending, oddly enough, but that's about it.)

Remember the good old days, when this game still had a Persona 4 subplot?....Yea, me neither.

Although that Majora's Mask "I can become them with this hat" thing is certainly going in the right direction. I mean, the dreamy portions are what make the game so awesome in the first place. I know that sounds weird, but hear me out: what are the most memorable levels in the game? That penguin race? Get out of here with that fucking shit. Swimming around in a giant skybox full of water is what makes the game so good. You know, freaky shit like that, which makes almost no sense. Of course, it doesn't always work in its favor, power-ups being the most obvious place. I could say something about how broken they are (why shoot for that star when you can lazily float over their with your fat ass?), but instead, I wish to call out the flying cap. I can understand the appeal of it, but why does flying have to be so hard. It's far too physics based, and I'm not sure you can ever really gain altitude (or at least I was never able to). What, pray tell, is so fun about merely gliding? Nothing, that's what. Still, it's the thought that counts.

If you want more boring, pedestrian reasons for why I like the levels, though, I still have those. For instance, there's usually a lot to do in each level. Most of them are open world (at least the ones that know what they're doing), giving you a lot of room to explore and mess around with whatever you find. No, I mean it: there's a lot to do in these levels. 150 stars, about 8-ish per level, and it manages to get a lot of mileage outta these ideas. Normally, this would be where I just rattle off a few examples, but all I need to say is that you'll be collecting 8 red coins all the goddamn time and no two instances will feel exactly the same, even though it is essentially the exact same goal each time. Granted, a few of these stars are pretty lazily designed (Toad will literally just hand you a couple of stars from time to time), but dude! You get to drown caterpillars and then curb stomp them. Do I need to say more?

Well, yes, I do. If I had to complain about the ga....OK, I have, but let's pretend that I've mindlessly praised it up until now. Anyway, if I had to register one major complaint against the game, I guess I'd have to go with how easy it is. It's not exactly hard to figure out how to get a star, and that's pretty much all there is to getting the star. Obviously, this means you're gonna blow through the campaign in a couple of days before moving onto something more challenging (link to next blog). The boss battle is also not challenging. I know what I said; there's really only one boss battle in the game, and it's repeated a lot. You just throw the guy or generally knock them out of the ring. That's it. Repeat it a ton, and you have Super Mario 64 DS. Or just tag alongside a penguin so a snowman doesn't blow you off his chin, because that's Super Mario 64 DS, too.

Review Synopsis

  • Are the remake portions really needed?
  • Because the base game stands well enough on its own.
  • Mysterious Mountainside is still everything I could love about this game.
Posted by believer258

I played a bit of DMC4. The combat is really the only thing that holds that game together, and the stupid story if you like to laugh at extremely dumb stuff. The puzzles killed that game for me. STOP MAKING ME HIT DICE, I JUST WANT TO HIT MONSTERS.

As for Super Mario 64, couldn't someone play that on the 3DS with its analog nub and pretty much negate the argument about the D-Pad being hard to use? I remember playing it on the DS a long, long, long time ago and thinking that the D-Pad was good enough, so it's not a big complaint for me.

Posted by Video_Game_King

@believer258:

I didn't have too much of a problem with the first dice game, but that last one....god, I just wanted it to end. I'm certain there's some skill to it (why else would they let me juggle it like crazy?), but far too much luck for my tastes. Fortunately, it only happens, what, twice over the course of the game?

Can they? I don't own a 3DS (I still have a DS Phat), so I'm not sure if you can use the analog stick for DS games like that. The D-pad does take a bit of getting used to, though.

Posted by Ravenlight
Posted by Video_Game_King

@Ravenlight:

I plan on stopping that bastard, even if it means my life.

Posted by asian_pride

Ohhh yeah, is the story in Devil May Cry 4 fucking dumb. The combat is indeed fun, and the only redeeming quality of an overall mediocre game. Also, fuck that little bitch, Nero.

Loved Super Mario 64 back in the day. I think we can all agree on how relevant it is to games in general and the fact that it's a damn good game. Also yeah, that penguin race was a real dick. Haven't played the DS version though; kinda not feeling playing the game with just the directional buttons.

Posted by Demoskinos

@believer258: You can easily manipulate the dice to get what roll you want every time.

Posted by believer258

@Demoskinos said:

@believer258: You can easily manipulate the dice to get what roll you want every time.

I know, but that wasn't what I meant. I meant that it's a pointless delay, it's a mediocre part of a game whose best (and pretty much only) point is killing things. It's a big thing between me and the fun bits, and there's a fair amount of things that get between me and the fun bits in that game.

Posted by Demoskinos

@believer258: Well the fun bits IS killing stuff....unless you weirdly come to DMC for the story instead of the combat or something. I agree that it kills the pacing a bit but you can breeze through it with minimal encounters once you get good.

Posted by LikeaSsur

Has Devil May Cry ever had a good story? No. Does this excuse 4? No, but I thought I'd at least five you context. People don't like the series because of the emotionally invested story.

Posted by Video_Game_King

@asian_pride:

Mediocre? I'd say the combat is strong and frequent enough to make it decent.

@Demoskinos said:

unless you weirdly come to DMC for the story instead of the combat or something.

I think I said it in the blog: I can understand people who would do that, but they're still fucking weird.

@Demoskinos said:

I agree that it kills the pacing a bit but you can breeze through it with minimal encounters once you get good.

Woah woah woah woah woah. Why would you have to get good for such an incredibly minor part of the game? Isn't that making excuses for the game?

@LikeaSsur said:

People don't like the series because of the emotionally invested story.

Emotionally invested? But I wasn't particularly invested in the story. Kinda hard to feel for Kyrie when her major character trait is "has a vagina". I just thought it was dumb in every possible way.

Posted by Demoskinos
@Video_Game_King I just mean again learning how to manipulate the dice. I never said it was a good design decision. I'd rather be smashing stuff than rolling dice myself but for people like me who usually played through the missions multiple times to S-Rank them learning the dice trick can expedite the whole thing again...not saying that makes that part okay just saying ya gotta play with the cards dealt so might as well make thr best of it.
Posted by LikeaSsur

@Video_Game_King said:

Emotionally invested? But I wasn't particularly invested in the story.

That's the joke.

Posted by Video_Game_King
Posted by LikeaSsur

@Video_Game_King: If I took No More Heroes and tried to find a gripping tale of the underdog coming out on top, I'd find a lot of problems with it too.

Point being, I think you're trying to look at Devil May Cry the wrong way. The action and gameplay is top priority, the story is just an afterthought. You should have noticed this after the first one.

Posted by Video_Game_King

@LikeaSsur said:

The action and gameplay is top priority, the story is just an afterthought. You should have noticed this after the first one.

Wait, I thought I said that somewhere in the actual blog. Am I getting confused in my own damn comments? Anyway, it's hard to say that I'd have noticed it after the first one, since this was my second DMC game, and the first I've played in a while. (I went from 3 to 4 to 1, waited a few years, and came back here.)

(Also, I've just now noticed that there's a typo in your name. It's supposed to be LikeaSaur, right? Or is it referencing something else?)

Edited by GunstarRed

I always quite liked DMC4... up to the point where you start playing as Dante. I really missed the revving up and the grappling hook. Maybe I'm just quite good at these games, but I found that game to be the easiest of those games by far.

I really disliked the final boss, it's just really bad at telling you how to hit it. I remember a lot of restarts on it. I'm a little hazy on it but I think it required you to hit it in the hands and grapple to it, but the grapple didn't work all the time.

Posted by Video_Game_King

@GunstarRed:

Posted by LikeaSsur

@Video_Game_King: No, there's a subcategory of the "Like a Boss" meme that's "Like a Sir," and the first word in my gamertag/PSN name/Steam account is "Ssur," which is pronounced "Sir." So it's a play on "Like a Sir," "LikeaSsur"

Wow, that required a lot more explanation than I thought. I'm sort of embarrassed about it now.

Posted by MikkaQ

Hehe I remember Mario 64 DS when they wanted you use the fucking touchscreen with that little nub-strap as an analog-stick analogue. That was insane then, and comes off as twice as insane now.

I'm actually kinda surprised they used two-screens on the 3DS still, no developer has ever really made good on the dual-screen gimmick in like 8 years now. It's always just some shitty map screen or something.

Posted by Icemo

Poka poka! That was weird...

Posted by Video_Game_King

@LikeaSsur:

I always thought it was supposed to be, like, a dinosaur that's part fungus. Somehow, my explanation is stupider.

@MikkaQ:

I'd say that the camera control on the touch screen works nicely, since the only other option is centering on your back, but then you get to spinning Bowser around, and it becomes so fun to hold the L button that you want to puke from dizziness.

I can take it or leave it.

Posted by TooWalrus

Super Mario 64 DS holds the same sad place in my heart that Persona 3 Portable shares. These are both games that I loved, and I'm glad they decided to re-make these games for portable platforms, but I wish they'd waited until the technology was such that they could surpass the original. In SM64, I feel like it was gimped in both the graphics and especially the controls, I'd much rather have seen a 3D, wide-screen, higher-res version on the 3DS. I thought the re-make of Ocarina of Time was just about a perfect re-release, especially since they added Master Quest into the mix. The same goes for Persona 3. They're doing it perfectly with P4: Golden, it's not held back in any way- in fact, it's been improved upon. I really do feel like a lot of the personality P3 had to offer was stripped away alongside the anime cut-scenes and polygonal models in P3P.

Posted by Video_Game_King

@TooWalrus said:

I wish they'd waited until the technology was such that they could surpass the original. In SM64, I feel like it was gimped in the graphics

You say when the only picture I used in my blog for the game illustrates the opposite.

My response to the rest: I should really play Persona 3, one of these days.

Posted by TooWalrus
@Video_Game_King said:

@TooWalrus said:

I wish they'd waited until the technology was such that they could surpass the original. In SM64, I feel like it was gimped in the graphics

You say when the only picture I used in my blog for the game illustrates the opposite.

My response to the rest: I should really play Persona 3, one of these days.

I didn't really study the picture, though I've played both to completion several times and what I remember is that the only thing that looked better on the 3DS was Mario's character model. Even in your screenshot comparison though, I think I don't exactly think that adding washed-out effects to the mirror is really an improvement. Maybe I should go back and check it out. (Also, yeah, you should really play Persona 3).
Posted by Video_Game_King

@TooWalrus:

Models are improved and textures are generally of a higher quality.

Posted by jakob187

Nothing can stop your ego?

You're adopted.

*ego stopped*

Posted by Video_Game_King

@jakob187:

My ego's just fine.

Posted by csl316

I beat DMC 4 six times. I couldn't get away!

Online
Posted by Video_Game_King

@csl316:

For each and every difficulty, or because you REALLY loved the catharsis in Dante slicing that giant goddamn die?

Posted by MikeGosot
@Video_Game_King: What if your ego, The Endurance Run and Mr. Domino faced each other?
Posted by csl316
@Video_Game_King

@csl316:

For each and every difficulty, or because you REALLY loved the catharsis in Dante slicing that giant goddamn die?

That die needed to DIE!!
Online
Posted by Video_Game_King

@MikeGosot:

Well, I can become Mr. Domino, so that'd double my odds. Therefore, I still win.

Posted by frankfartmouth

@Video_Game_King said:

Can they? I don't own a 3DS (I still have a DS Phat), so I'm not sure if you can use the analog stick for DS games like that. The D-pad does take a bit of getting used to, though.

You can, but I think it's similar to using xpadder or similar control emulation in that the dpad axes are just being mapped to the analog axes, i.e., still no pressure sensitivity.

Posted by TooWalrus
@Video_Game_King

@TooWalrus:

Models are improved and textures are generally of a higher quality.

No no no, you're crazy! I just loaded it up and the resolution on the original DS is so low that you can see every individual pixel and I HATE IT! Ths whole thing looks too... flat, too. Even if it is technically an improvement, the Zelda remake was exponentially better, I still think they should have waited.
Posted by Phatmac

Ugh, DMC4 was such a bummer when it came out. :(

Posted by Video_Game_King

@Phatmac:

I'd say time heals all wounds, but it turns out I remembered quite a bit about this game while playing it. It's hard to forget...well, a lot of the stuff I pointed out, really.

@TooWalrus said:

I just loaded it up and the resolution on the original DS is so low that you can see every individual pixel and I HATE IT!

Compared against the original, where the textures were all completely flat, and the final boss was Rainbow (or Just Generally Strangely Lit) Bowser, for some reason. (Kinda wish they kept that strange detail.)

Posted by MikeGosot
@Video_Game_King said:

@MikeGosot:

Well, I can become Mr. Domino, so that'd double my odds. Therefore, I still win.

Nah, you're just fake Mr. Domino.
Posted by Video_Game_King

@MikeGosot:

What exactly makes me fake? What exactly would make the other real?

Posted by MikeGosot
@Video_Game_King said:

@MikeGosot:

What exactly makes me fake? What exactly would make the other real?

The crown.
Posted by Video_Game_King

@MikeGosot:

Even though that would be the only difference?

Posted by MikeGosot
@Video_Game_King said:

@MikeGosot:

Even though that would be the only difference?

Well, yeah. If you could choose between a girl and the EXACT SAME GIRL but with a dick, which one would you choose?
Posted by Video_Game_King

@MikeGosot:

You mean she's, like, holding my dick for me? I'd still choose her. Girl's a girl, even if she has a dick.

Posted by Ravenlight

@Video_Game_King said:

(Also, I've just now noticed that there's a typo in your name. It's supposed to be LikeaSaur, right? Or is it referencing something else?)

I'm glad somebody asked, because that's what I thought, too.

@LikeaSsur said:

No, there's a subcategory of the "Like a Boss" meme that's "Like a Sir," and the first word in my gamertag/PSN name/Steam account is "Ssur," which is pronounced "Sir." So it's a play on "Like a Sir," "LikeaSsur"

Wow, that required a lot more explanation than I thought. I'm sort of embarrassed about it now.

And that answers that mystery. You get a follow for explaining your handle. If you know what I'm sayin'

Posted by MikeGosot
@Video_Game_King said:

@MikeGosot:

You mean she's, like, holding my dick for me? I'd still choose her. Girl's a girl, even if she has a dick.

No. She has a dick, she doesn't hold your dick. Also, if you choose the girl with a dick, does that mean you prefer dicks to vaginas?
Posted by Video_Game_King

@Ravenlight:

Because I can't just post the pic.

@MikeGosot:

I'd still go for her, because technically, she still has a vagina. Still a girl.

@MikeGosot said:

Also, if you choose the girl with a dick, does that mean you prefer dicks to vaginas?

Not necessarily. I'd just want my options open.

Posted by MikeGosot
@Video_Game_King: And you like to have dick as an option?
Posted by Video_Game_King
Posted by jakob187

@Video_Game_King said:

@jakob187:

My ego's just fine.

Oh yeah?

Why are you crying in that moon corner then?

Posted by Video_Game_King

@jakob187:

I'm rather confused as to how you can see my face, given the various obscurities blocking it from your view.

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