Somehow, this blog is actually relevant.



Metroid: Other M

( How the hell did I beat this in under a week?) I was expecting more than the length of Silent Hill 2 from this game. Granted, I didn't go hunting for every single-power up in the game (mainly because a few of them were one-time deals, and I'm not starting another file just to 100% it), but I wasn't exactly shine-sparking down every hallway in the game. I know that it's been a long time since I've seriously played a Metroid game, but I don't remember Return of Samus being so short that the beginning of the game was also the end.
 
 Oddly enough, the one thing Other M does best is make me want to play every other game in the series, but mostly Super Metroid.
For whatever reason, I suspect that this very thing happened with Other M, since I can still remember the beginning of the game so vividly. Ignoring the Super Metroid/Return of Samus recap parts, Samus is drifting through space when she suddenly gets a "Baby's Cry" signal. "Baby's Cry" is some weird code that indicates that the signal is meant to attract attention, which implies that there are messages out there people send for shits and giggles. But not this one. This one is serious, maybe, so your mission is to find out what the hell it is. You get a hint when you run into the Galactic Federation, or as I like to call them, Space Marine Taint. Why? It's full of space marine dicks, space marine cunts, and space marine assholes. And Adam. Remember how he was mentioned in Fusion? Well, now he's real, and we finally get to find out what Samus was actually like outside all the other Metroid games. Or not. That's one of the main things I don't like about Other M: all the questions it leaves unanswered. Holy shit, does this game introduce a bunch of unanswered questions. You'd think that in the thousands of cutscenes, they'd give me some answers. Wait, they do answer some questions? From what I remember, barely, like how it tells us that Samus left the Federation, but never directly telling us why. Things are going well for her there (other than being called "Lady" and "Princess" and whatever else Mel Gibson feels like calling her), and then she's gone for no reason. WHY, DAMN YOU!?
 
You're supposed to focus on Samus and her past, yet you fail to explain the latter. Notice how I didn't bother touching "Samus." I have two reasons for that: first, she looks like the type of girl with a weaponized ass (probably because she has one); second, because this game actually does a good job of continuing the humanization of Samus that the series' been about. I can sense confusion among you, and that you're writing me off as a pretentious ass, but remember Metroid 2? You know, where she actually showed some compassion, in some form? Or the manga, which gave her the worst puberty ever (regular girl puberty+parents who don't know shit about your biology+combat training+developing pornographic levels of flexibility=AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!)? Well, same thing happens here, this time by reminding players that Samus has a vagina. I know that I mentioned the Space Marine Taint before, but this is Team Ninja; obviously, they've thought of new, more innovative ways to degrade women, like with their emotions. I've heard allegations that Samus delivers as much emotion as a slice of bread. My response. Of course, this argument becomes void later in the game, when Team Ninja kicked up the sexism so much that Samus suddenly grew high heels (why does she need high heels?), but still, the parts before it were well appreciated.
 
 Wait, how the hell can they put Fusion flashbacks in this game? That's the sequel!
I apologize for rambling on about the story for so long, but sometimes, I like to make my blogs mirror the actual games. Unfortunately, I didn't do a good job of that, since the entire blog is written in first person, while the actual game is in the third. Finally, the number of persons matches the dimensions, which I assume pisses people off. (I haven't read any of your opinions, so I'll just assume that you're pissed.) I don't know why, since it's still noticeably Metroid. You still have morph ball, speed boosting, shinesparking (but not in the super-cool form we know), space jumping, gravity suits, a bunch of Metroid baddies from other games (but for whatever reason, still no Kraid)....actually, now that I think about it, Other M is more Metroid than the other 3D Metroid games. I wouldn't be surprised if that Other M was Metroid, since it would mean that this game is twice the Metroid. The only problem I'd see with it is how linear it is. Some of that I'm willing to blame on bigger trends, but then there are the power-ups. You have every single weapon in the game straight from the beginning, and if that sounds good to you, just stop reading right here, since you don't get to use anything unless Adam says so. None of that makes sense. The only I can think of Nintendo doing this is because they were so tired of seeing shit like this.
 
Which is odd, given that they made the game about as non-linear as the other games. I'm aware the I just called the game linear a few sentences ago, which is why I used the word "about." Yes, the game's really story-driven and linear, but you can still take a break from doing whatever the plot's about in Other M to collect some power-ups or whatever, something the game kinda encourages. Sometimes (all the time), you'll see barriers you can't break yet, or power-ups that are simple-yet-impossible to get. Look around all you want, but unless Adam gave you the latest upgrade, you're not getting it. Oh, wait, that reminds me: you can look around. As in "go to first person and blast some shit at shit to make it into Ultra Double Shit" look around. Just point your Wii-mote at the screen, and it switches to the 1st person, maybe. The idea itself works really well, but the controls destroy it, maybe. I keep saying "maybe" because it's a lot like sex: I don't know if I'm the one screwing up, nor why I'm holding a white plastic thing with buttons on it. I had the TV at an odd angle, the batteries went bad near the end (as Other M courteously told me, unlike OTHER games), but like sex with whomever I was fucking, it kept dropping hints that I wasn't fucking up, like how it only seemed to work in certain areas some of the time, and only about half of the times I needed it. Like one of those stupid "look at this obscure part of the screen to continue" parts, or when something was puking fire onto my face.
 
Of course, by mentioning blaze-belching monsters, I easily transition into combat, probably the whole reason why Nintendo got Team Ninja to work on this game. Like Ninja Gaiden, a lot of the combat relies on knowing when to dodge, shoot, reload (more on that in a bit), and perform fatalities. Wait, what's that about reloading? Oh, right, the missiles: instead of getting a limited supply of the damn things throughout the game, you can recharge them (and your health, to a very limited extent) whenever you have a few seconds. I know that it sounds like Nintendo trying to make things easier, but it works oddly well, since you'll almost never have enough time to recharge your missiles/energy mid-battle. Of course, this is assuming that you'll even use missiles in battle, which is only required for the weird boss battles. They're not weird in any sort of thematic way, like Earthbound, but weird in how they feel. Every single boss battle relies of repetition, which I know is as much a revelation as me telling you that this game has Metroids in it, but it's not your typical repetition, where you shoot at a death tumor several times and it dies; no, it's the type of repetition where it's working, but you still feel like you're fucking up somehow. Part of the problem seems to be that their health doesn't come up unless you look at them, so you never know if you're doing the right thing until the battle ends abruptly. You know, sort of like how the game ends. It just comes out of nowhere, leaving a bunch of questions lingering in my mind. I noticed some epilogue thing, and I could not hit the start button any faster, probably because there's no start button. Anyway, cut to me about 20 minutes later, and the only question they answered was "Why wasn't Adam wearing a helmet that one time?". Damn it.
 

Review Synopsis

  • You'd think with all those cutscenes, Other M's storyline would answer questions, not create them. That's why it gets the Christianity Award.
  • Somewhat linear, but it's still noticeably Metroid.
  • Solid combat and freaky boss battles.
 
 
 
 
This is why you don't kill the monarchy. Can you imagine if people continued doing this? The horror...



The Adventures of Batman and Robin

( This one's a bit weird.) A few days ago (I think; my short term memory was destroyed so as to make room for useless shit), I decided that I'd try this game out in order to fill up as many blank games as possible on my list of beaten games. You see, I played this long ago on recommendation from The Nerd, and I soon found out that playing shit games all the time gives you an immunity to turd smell, meaning he couldn't smell this pile of shit when it was right in front of him. Anyway, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided to give the game another chance, but I ran into one major problem: this isn't even close to the same game. Still, I overcame that problem and still don't like the SNES version. I like this one, though.
 
What better way to mock failure than failure itself?
Hey, you know what else is weird? Me transitioning into something I don't like: the set-up. There's not much of a story, probably because it's based on a cartoon that I was supposed to watch. Instead, you fight one villain per part of the game (I can't call them levels, because they go on for-fucking-ever). It's OK, but holy shit, is the arrangement insane. The first guy you fight? The Joker. Usually, you're supposed to build up to your biggest asset, not jam him into the beginning. It'd be like starting sex off with the orgasm, and then realizing halfway through that you're just masturbating. Allow me to explain that last weird joke: The Riddler's missing from the game. Isn't he the second biggest villain in Batman or something? Who the hell could they put in here that could dwarf The Joker's slightly nerdy brother? Two Face, Harley Quinn....Mad...Hatter, and... Ahnold. Even the crappy SNES version had The Riddler, and he was demoted to a maze made up of Greek myth puzzles mixed with guitar solo keyholes. I think. It's been a long time since I've played the game.
 
But you know what the SNES version didn't have? Decent gameplay! Though you wouldn't notice it at first; it starts off as a kinda generic beat-em-up, only with guns. Walk right, wait for the screen to fill up with baddies, and then teach them that you're fucking Batman, and nobody messes with Batman. Of course, you could always play as Robin, but that changes your strategy a bit: press the reset button, you idiot, as Batman's better. Granted, I never played as Robin, but that's not exactly helping his case, is it? Anyway, there is a bit of variety in how you can beat up dudes, but not much: sometimes, they'll drop an instant death orb (why they didn't use this, I've no idea), or maybe a disc that lets you change weapons. There's a green one, a three shooter, and something else; I only used the green one throughout the game, which doesn't help the weapon system that much. I didn't even have to power it up that much; I wasn't even aware that the things could be powered up. The only reason I mention this is because one of the walkthroughs I saw mentioned weapon levels, so I guess they're in there, maybe?
 
Careful readers will note that I gave the game an 8.1, yet spent the last two paragraphs talking shit about it. My explanation: get past the first level, and the game starts kicking some serious ass. Specifically, the SNES's ass, by Mode 7ing the hell out of everything. And it doesn't look like that cheap Arrow Flash Mode 7, where they drew it like that; I mean this type of Mode 7. While I'm on the subject of the Mad Hatter, let me say that the first part of that stage reminds me of a Marilyn Manson song for some reason. That's why it got the .1: random, batshit insane variety. You can transition from beating up thugs to a shmup stage, and you'll just go along with it like that's not the craziest thing about the game. You know, like how I'm writing this blog. Difficulty! I've heard that the game's kinda hard, but I only noticed that in the second half of the game, where somebody decided to put the Battletoads bike section into Mode 7. And throw a boss battle into the mess. Up to that point, everything was super-easy, though; enemies would spit up so many hearts after death that I wouldn't have been surprised if the final level was Kingdom Hearts. But once you hit the third level, things get insane. Why does that sound familiar? *thinks a bit* Dynamite Headdy! That's why I love this game: it's Dynamite Headdy, but with Batman. In fact, let me give the game the Dynamite Headdy with Batman Award.
 

Review Synopsis

  • The villains are a bit weird in this one.
  • Dear god, there's so much going on in this game, that it's hard to keep up...
  • ...or maybe it's just hard in general.
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Posted by Video_Game_King


Metroid: Other M

( How the hell did I beat this in under a week?) I was expecting more than the length of Silent Hill 2 from this game. Granted, I didn't go hunting for every single-power up in the game (mainly because a few of them were one-time deals, and I'm not starting another file just to 100% it), but I wasn't exactly shine-sparking down every hallway in the game. I know that it's been a long time since I've seriously played a Metroid game, but I don't remember Return of Samus being so short that the beginning of the game was also the end.
 
 Oddly enough, the one thing Other M does best is make me want to play every other game in the series, but mostly Super Metroid.
For whatever reason, I suspect that this very thing happened with Other M, since I can still remember the beginning of the game so vividly. Ignoring the Super Metroid/Return of Samus recap parts, Samus is drifting through space when she suddenly gets a "Baby's Cry" signal. "Baby's Cry" is some weird code that indicates that the signal is meant to attract attention, which implies that there are messages out there people send for shits and giggles. But not this one. This one is serious, maybe, so your mission is to find out what the hell it is. You get a hint when you run into the Galactic Federation, or as I like to call them, Space Marine Taint. Why? It's full of space marine dicks, space marine cunts, and space marine assholes. And Adam. Remember how he was mentioned in Fusion? Well, now he's real, and we finally get to find out what Samus was actually like outside all the other Metroid games. Or not. That's one of the main things I don't like about Other M: all the questions it leaves unanswered. Holy shit, does this game introduce a bunch of unanswered questions. You'd think that in the thousands of cutscenes, they'd give me some answers. Wait, they do answer some questions? From what I remember, barely, like how it tells us that Samus left the Federation, but never directly telling us why. Things are going well for her there (other than being called "Lady" and "Princess" and whatever else Mel Gibson feels like calling her), and then she's gone for no reason. WHY, DAMN YOU!?
 
You're supposed to focus on Samus and her past, yet you fail to explain the latter. Notice how I didn't bother touching "Samus." I have two reasons for that: first, she looks like the type of girl with a weaponized ass (probably because she has one); second, because this game actually does a good job of continuing the humanization of Samus that the series' been about. I can sense confusion among you, and that you're writing me off as a pretentious ass, but remember Metroid 2? You know, where she actually showed some compassion, in some form? Or the manga, which gave her the worst puberty ever (regular girl puberty+parents who don't know shit about your biology+combat training+developing pornographic levels of flexibility=AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!)? Well, same thing happens here, this time by reminding players that Samus has a vagina. I know that I mentioned the Space Marine Taint before, but this is Team Ninja; obviously, they've thought of new, more innovative ways to degrade women, like with their emotions. I've heard allegations that Samus delivers as much emotion as a slice of bread. My response. Of course, this argument becomes void later in the game, when Team Ninja kicked up the sexism so much that Samus suddenly grew high heels (why does she need high heels?), but still, the parts before it were well appreciated.
 
 Wait, how the hell can they put Fusion flashbacks in this game? That's the sequel!
I apologize for rambling on about the story for so long, but sometimes, I like to make my blogs mirror the actual games. Unfortunately, I didn't do a good job of that, since the entire blog is written in first person, while the actual game is in the third. Finally, the number of persons matches the dimensions, which I assume pisses people off. (I haven't read any of your opinions, so I'll just assume that you're pissed.) I don't know why, since it's still noticeably Metroid. You still have morph ball, speed boosting, shinesparking (but not in the super-cool form we know), space jumping, gravity suits, a bunch of Metroid baddies from other games (but for whatever reason, still no Kraid)....actually, now that I think about it, Other M is more Metroid than the other 3D Metroid games. I wouldn't be surprised if that Other M was Metroid, since it would mean that this game is twice the Metroid. The only problem I'd see with it is how linear it is. Some of that I'm willing to blame on bigger trends, but then there are the power-ups. You have every single weapon in the game straight from the beginning, and if that sounds good to you, just stop reading right here, since you don't get to use anything unless Adam says so. None of that makes sense. The only I can think of Nintendo doing this is because they were so tired of seeing shit like this.
 
Which is odd, given that they made the game about as non-linear as the other games. I'm aware the I just called the game linear a few sentences ago, which is why I used the word "about." Yes, the game's really story-driven and linear, but you can still take a break from doing whatever the plot's about in Other M to collect some power-ups or whatever, something the game kinda encourages. Sometimes (all the time), you'll see barriers you can't break yet, or power-ups that are simple-yet-impossible to get. Look around all you want, but unless Adam gave you the latest upgrade, you're not getting it. Oh, wait, that reminds me: you can look around. As in "go to first person and blast some shit at shit to make it into Ultra Double Shit" look around. Just point your Wii-mote at the screen, and it switches to the 1st person, maybe. The idea itself works really well, but the controls destroy it, maybe. I keep saying "maybe" because it's a lot like sex: I don't know if I'm the one screwing up, nor why I'm holding a white plastic thing with buttons on it. I had the TV at an odd angle, the batteries went bad near the end (as Other M courteously told me, unlike OTHER games), but like sex with whomever I was fucking, it kept dropping hints that I wasn't fucking up, like how it only seemed to work in certain areas some of the time, and only about half of the times I needed it. Like one of those stupid "look at this obscure part of the screen to continue" parts, or when something was puking fire onto my face.
 
Of course, by mentioning blaze-belching monsters, I easily transition into combat, probably the whole reason why Nintendo got Team Ninja to work on this game. Like Ninja Gaiden, a lot of the combat relies on knowing when to dodge, shoot, reload (more on that in a bit), and perform fatalities. Wait, what's that about reloading? Oh, right, the missiles: instead of getting a limited supply of the damn things throughout the game, you can recharge them (and your health, to a very limited extent) whenever you have a few seconds. I know that it sounds like Nintendo trying to make things easier, but it works oddly well, since you'll almost never have enough time to recharge your missiles/energy mid-battle. Of course, this is assuming that you'll even use missiles in battle, which is only required for the weird boss battles. They're not weird in any sort of thematic way, like Earthbound, but weird in how they feel. Every single boss battle relies of repetition, which I know is as much a revelation as me telling you that this game has Metroids in it, but it's not your typical repetition, where you shoot at a death tumor several times and it dies; no, it's the type of repetition where it's working, but you still feel like you're fucking up somehow. Part of the problem seems to be that their health doesn't come up unless you look at them, so you never know if you're doing the right thing until the battle ends abruptly. You know, sort of like how the game ends. It just comes out of nowhere, leaving a bunch of questions lingering in my mind. I noticed some epilogue thing, and I could not hit the start button any faster, probably because there's no start button. Anyway, cut to me about 20 minutes later, and the only question they answered was "Why wasn't Adam wearing a helmet that one time?". Damn it.
 

Review Synopsis

  • You'd think with all those cutscenes, Other M's storyline would answer questions, not create them. That's why it gets the Christianity Award.
  • Somewhat linear, but it's still noticeably Metroid.
  • Solid combat and freaky boss battles.
 
 
 
 
This is why you don't kill the monarchy. Can you imagine if people continued doing this? The horror...



The Adventures of Batman and Robin

( This one's a bit weird.) A few days ago (I think; my short term memory was destroyed so as to make room for useless shit), I decided that I'd try this game out in order to fill up as many blank games as possible on my list of beaten games. You see, I played this long ago on recommendation from The Nerd, and I soon found out that playing shit games all the time gives you an immunity to turd smell, meaning he couldn't smell this pile of shit when it was right in front of him. Anyway, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided to give the game another chance, but I ran into one major problem: this isn't even close to the same game. Still, I overcame that problem and still don't like the SNES version. I like this one, though.
 
What better way to mock failure than failure itself?
Hey, you know what else is weird? Me transitioning into something I don't like: the set-up. There's not much of a story, probably because it's based on a cartoon that I was supposed to watch. Instead, you fight one villain per part of the game (I can't call them levels, because they go on for-fucking-ever). It's OK, but holy shit, is the arrangement insane. The first guy you fight? The Joker. Usually, you're supposed to build up to your biggest asset, not jam him into the beginning. It'd be like starting sex off with the orgasm, and then realizing halfway through that you're just masturbating. Allow me to explain that last weird joke: The Riddler's missing from the game. Isn't he the second biggest villain in Batman or something? Who the hell could they put in here that could dwarf The Joker's slightly nerdy brother? Two Face, Harley Quinn....Mad...Hatter, and... Ahnold. Even the crappy SNES version had The Riddler, and he was demoted to a maze made up of Greek myth puzzles mixed with guitar solo keyholes. I think. It's been a long time since I've played the game.
 
But you know what the SNES version didn't have? Decent gameplay! Though you wouldn't notice it at first; it starts off as a kinda generic beat-em-up, only with guns. Walk right, wait for the screen to fill up with baddies, and then teach them that you're fucking Batman, and nobody messes with Batman. Of course, you could always play as Robin, but that changes your strategy a bit: press the reset button, you idiot, as Batman's better. Granted, I never played as Robin, but that's not exactly helping his case, is it? Anyway, there is a bit of variety in how you can beat up dudes, but not much: sometimes, they'll drop an instant death orb (why they didn't use this, I've no idea), or maybe a disc that lets you change weapons. There's a green one, a three shooter, and something else; I only used the green one throughout the game, which doesn't help the weapon system that much. I didn't even have to power it up that much; I wasn't even aware that the things could be powered up. The only reason I mention this is because one of the walkthroughs I saw mentioned weapon levels, so I guess they're in there, maybe?
 
Careful readers will note that I gave the game an 8.1, yet spent the last two paragraphs talking shit about it. My explanation: get past the first level, and the game starts kicking some serious ass. Specifically, the SNES's ass, by Mode 7ing the hell out of everything. And it doesn't look like that cheap Arrow Flash Mode 7, where they drew it like that; I mean this type of Mode 7. While I'm on the subject of the Mad Hatter, let me say that the first part of that stage reminds me of a Marilyn Manson song for some reason. That's why it got the .1: random, batshit insane variety. You can transition from beating up thugs to a shmup stage, and you'll just go along with it like that's not the craziest thing about the game. You know, like how I'm writing this blog. Difficulty! I've heard that the game's kinda hard, but I only noticed that in the second half of the game, where somebody decided to put the Battletoads bike section into Mode 7. And throw a boss battle into the mess. Up to that point, everything was super-easy, though; enemies would spit up so many hearts after death that I wouldn't have been surprised if the final level was Kingdom Hearts. But once you hit the third level, things get insane. Why does that sound familiar? *thinks a bit* Dynamite Headdy! That's why I love this game: it's Dynamite Headdy, but with Batman. In fact, let me give the game the Dynamite Headdy with Batman Award.
 

Review Synopsis

  • The villains are a bit weird in this one.
  • Dear god, there's so much going on in this game, that it's hard to keep up...
  • ...or maybe it's just hard in general.
Posted by ShockD

What a cool Russian copy! Also, quit bashing communism, it ain't cool.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@antikorper: 
 
Huh? If communism isn't cool, then why do you want me to stop bashing it?
Posted by ShockD

I said it ain't cool bashing it. "United people and army" sounds like anything else but horror to me...
 
Back on-topic. I agree on Metroid: Other M. No matter what people say, I think I prefer the FPS Metroids better.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@antikorper: 
 
Huh? I actually kinda liked Other M. It may not be perfect, but it's still pretty good.
Posted by Hailinel
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Hailinel: 
 
I didn't get the feeling that that was the reason. They just kinda said "Adam's brother died" without saying anything else about it, as I remember. Also, a ton of other questions, like:
 

Posted by ShockD

No doubt, it's a great game. Yet I feel I kinda liked the previous games more.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@antikorper: 
 
It's been a long time since I've played the Primes, but I feel like it's an unfair comparison, since they're such radically different takes on Metroid.
Posted by Hailinel
@Video_Game_King said:
" @Hailinel: 
 
I didn't get the feeling that that was the reason. They just kinda said "Adam's brother died" without saying anything else about it, as I remember. Also, a ton of other questions, like:
 
"
Adam's brother died while under Adam's own command.  Samus tried to convince Adam to let her rescue him, but he wouldn't let her.  He knew that there wasn't enough time for such a rescue to succeed.
 
Also,
 
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Hailinel: 
 
But they blew it up. How would they get it if they blew the whole thing up?
Posted by Hailinel
@Video_Game_King said:
" @Hailinel:   But they blew it up. How would they get it if they blew the whole thing up? "

Posted by Video_Game_King
Posted by Hailinel
@Video_Game_King said:
" @Hailinel: 
 
"
That's still more than enough time.  And I do believe that Nightmare was also recovered.
Posted by Cube

Christianity Award. LOL.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@Cube: 
 
Oh, that reminds me: for answering my questions, Halinel doesn't get an award until Christianity comes up with some decent answers.
Posted by Hailinel
@Video_Game_King:   Well, damn.  Looks like I'm screwed until the rapture.  (Don't worry, I'm pretty sure I'll be hanging around afterward.)
Edited by Oni

How the hell was Metroid ever "about" humanising Samus? Only if you're desperately looking for that will you find some of it, but it's so minor. I still have no interest in what Other M is peddling. I don't mind a Metroid game with more story, but Team Ninja are not the fucking guys that know how to tell a good story, so that's a serious misstep. Making Samus break down all of a sudden when facing Ridley (for like the second or third time) is the laziest, shittiest attempt at character development I've ever seen.

Posted by Hailinel
@Oni said:
" How the hell was Metroid ever "about" humanising Samus? Only if you're desperately looking for that will you find some of it, but it's so minor. I still have no interest in what Other M is peddling. I don't mind a Metroid game with more story, but Team Ninja are not the fucking guys that know how to tell a good story, so that's a serious misstep. Making Samus break down all of a sudden when facing Ridley (for like the second or third time) is the laziest, shittiest attempt at character development I've ever seen. "
Team Ninja had nothing to do with the story.  That was all Nintendo.
 
And there was nothing lazy about Samus's breakdown.  Samus had fought Ridley before, but he never died until Super Metroid.  To see him, the creature that had killed Samus's parents when she was a child, the monster that she had finally laid to waste on Zebes come back, is something worth freaking out about.  She killed him.  The planet exploded and destroyed his corpse.  For Samus, his return is like something out of a nightmare.
Edited by Oni

Oh my god that is like, so deep. No seriously, that's terrible. Their idea of character development is "she's actually fragile underneath the armor!", that's the laziest, shittiest thing ever. That does nothing to make her more interesting, and it's only done because she's a woman. Imagine if Master Chief suddenly freaked out and started blubbering if he saw the Gravemind again in Halo 4 or whatever, how shitty would that be? It's completely contrived and cliché.
 
Samus is a woman, so they sexed her up and made her vulnerable 'underneath it all'. GG Nintendo/Team Ninja. Way to ruin a character.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@Oni: 
 
I noticed some pretty big parts of humanizing her in the games. I'd point out examples, but I already did.
 
Yea, that Ridley breakdown pissed me off, too. How many times did she fight Ridley before? I think it was four, and only one of those I can remember her being a bit scared of it (Corruption, although that might be me). I also can't understand why Samus took off her armor at the end.
 
Laziest, shittiest? No, that sounds fairly reasonable. Wasn't that the whole idea of making her a girl in the first place, as sexist as that may sound? After all, it wouldn't have been much of a twist if we expected her to be a girl, would it?
 
If Halo 4 even existed, I'd make a list of people who don't need their testicles anymore.
Posted by Symphony

Since you brought up the Metroid manga as canonical reference, I couldn't help but be reminded of the Nintendo Power comics that ran for a few issues and did, what I felt, was a great job of giving her a back story, personality and emotion (and purple hair for some reason o.O). Sure, there were some silly characters that were made just for the comic, but her personality is really what I think most of us have always imagined her as being -- strong-willed and independent, but empathic and selfless.  

Posted by Video_Game_King
@Symphony said:
giving her a back story, personality and emotion "
See, Oni? Humanization. Also, Other M captures a lot of what @Symphony:  said at the end of her post.
Edited by ArbitraryWater

Even though I have no real interest in Metroid Other M, I figure that making Samus emotionally fragile is either a back track or the logical next step after putting her into a skintight catsuit in terms of general female degredation. But of course, she still wears it, and this game was developed by Team Ninja (Kings of objectifying women since 1999 or whenever DOA came out), so it's probably the second one.  But I'm probably wrong, and if I am, I really don't care.
 
But as a game, I'm sure it's fine. I just would rather have my Metroid consist of wandering aimlessly around 2D environments looking for the equipment I need to progress.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@ArbitraryWater: 
 
Surprisingly, even with boob bounce, the original DOA isn't as sexist as a lot of people think. Once volleyball got involved, however...
 
That's pretty much Other M.
Posted by Oni
@Video_Game_King said:
" @Oni:   Laziest, shittiest? No, that sounds fairly reasonable. Wasn't that the whole idea of making her a girl in the first place, as sexist as that may sound?
So do you agree with me? What do you mean by that second statement? The idea of making her a woman originally was just kind of a gag. But if you're gonna develop her character, do something more interesting than making her hard exterior be a cover of fragility, that is so cliché. The Zero suit  fine, whatever, but come on, guys.
Posted by JJWeatherman

A relevant blog?? Against all odds! 
 
I'm preeeeety sure I played that Batman and Robin game on Genesis back in the day. It's hard for me to remember all the Genesis games I've played. I definitely need to get another one off of ebay and relive the magic.

Edited by Video_Game_King
@Oni: 
 
I feel like I'm agreeing with you on the cliche part, but I can't think of any good examples, so probably not. I've seen WAY lazier characterization. MUCH. LAZIER.
 
Also, another example of the humanization thing: making Samus a mommy. Why else do people consider that a good plot point for the series? Also, not the first time they went for the "she's vulnerable underneath that suit" thing. Remember Zero Mission?
Posted by FreakAche
@Video_Game_King: It wasn't actually Ridley in Fusion. It was an X-Parasite imitation of him.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@FreakAche: 
 
He was still in Fusion, though; he was a frozen shell in that early part of the game you can't enter, and then the X got to him.
 
@JJWeatherman:
 
I know that feeling; I've beaten 956 games, and I can't be expected to remember them all, can I?
Posted by JJWeatherman
@Video_Game_King said:
" @JJWeatherman:  ...I've beaten 956 games... "



That's a lot of games. 
Posted by Video_Game_King
@JJWeatherman: 
 
I know; that's why there's been a countdown in my banner for a LONG time.
Posted by Oni
@Video_Game_King said:
" @Oni: 
 
I feel like I'm agreeing with you on the cliche part, but I can't think of any good examples, so probably not. I've seen WAY lazier characterization. MUCH. LAZIER.  Also, another example of the humanization thing: making Samus a mommy. Why else do people consider that a good plot point for the series? Also, not the first time they went for the "she's vulnerable underneath that suit" thing. Remember Zero Mission? "
Yeah but Zero Mission did it in much less of a horribly clichéd way, she didn't break down and practically start crying in that. RE: the mommy thing, again, she's a woman, so what's an easy way to exploit that fact in an attempt at humanizing her?
 
And Squall was at least consistent in his awkward jerkiness and angst. What bothers me about Other M is that they take Samus, a character decidedly NOT known for being a fragile little girl, and turned her into just that, because it's the best thing they could think of apparently. 
 
Okay, I'll give you the orphanage bit from FF8, however.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Oni: 
 
Oh, we're talking about that one boss battle? Fuck that and her breakdown; other important parts, though, are actually well-executed moments of humanization.
 
What?
 
Exactly; they're taking a character not known as vulnerable and putting her in a situation or two where she is vulnerable/weak, whether physically or emotionally, making her a much more 3D, human character.
 
Really? That's the ONLY thing? What about all other parts of FF8? Or the fact that the game could end on Disc 2, but goes on for two agonizing discs after that?
Edited by Symphony
@Video_Game_King said:

" @Symphony said:

giving her a back story, personality and emotion "
See, Oni? Humanization. Also, Other M captures a lot of what @Symphony:  said at the end of her post. "
Cept that it does it in a completely counter-intuitive way that came off as pretty weak to many of us... =/ 
 
I think I'm gonna stick with the comic version of her, myself.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Symphony: 
 
What the "piss her pants at the sight of Ridley" thing? I agree, that sucks; that's why I mention most of the OTHER parts as being good examples of humanizing her.
Posted by animateria

Why can't just we have a bad ass female lead?
 
Is vulnerability a requirement? I just don't think that is a necessary element in creating an interesting (female) character.
 
I kinda hoped Samus would stay more akin to Master Chief.. We don't know much about his overall (personal) personal history, but we know he's reliable, caring and fucking badass.
 
I'd like to think Samus is like that rather than the mess they made in Other M (Which makes me not want to play the fucking game at all).
 
Sometimes a mysterious and unknown past is the best thing for a character, details can ruin the character. Just ask Darth Vader.

Posted by Claude

I'm not that interested in Metroid: Other M. Maybe I'm not the Wii lover I thought I was. What's the word... pseudo Wii lover... no can't be.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@Claude: 
 
A wiidophile? A wiidhead?
 
@animateria:
 
Holy shit, I didn't realize how divisive this game was. Let me try to navigate this minefield, where the dirt is made of mines.
 
For the same reason we can't have a Hitler-esque villain: it's not very believable. You have to expand a character past a single trait to make them somebody; otherwise, you end up with any of Fox's animated series.
 
NO. FUCKING. NO. Do NOT turn Samus into Master Chief. Who the hell wants that?
 
Wait, you don't want to play the game? That means you haven't played it, right? Then how can you talk shit about it?
 
OK, I'll give you that, but consider this: when did Samus last have mystery? Check this shit out and point toward any ambiguity.
Posted by Hailinel
@Symphony said:
" @Video_Game_King said:

" @Symphony said:

giving her a back story, personality and emotion "
See, Oni? Humanization. Also, Other M captures a lot of what @Symphony:  said at the end of her post. "
Cept that it does it in a completely counter-intuitive way that came off as pretty weak to many of us... =/  I think I'm gonna stick with the comic version of her, myself. "
In retrospect, I find that old Nintendo Power comic actually pretty bad.  It does follow some of the established story concepts (Samus being raised by the Chozo), but ultimately, she isn't an interesting character.  Does the canon Samus have weaknesses?  Yes, but emotional frailties and trauma aren't a sexist trait.  James Sunderland of Silent Hill 2 is a male, yet is of such a confused, emotionally ravaged mindset that it's possible for the game to end with his suicide.  And the Harry Mason of Silent Hill:  Shattered Memories has a whole host of issues, not the least of which being that it's impossible to fight back against the monsters that are after him.  He is infinitely a much more compelling, interesting character than that toolbox of a combat veteran that was the protagonist of Silent Hill:  Homecoming.
 
I don't want Samus to be a Master Chief-esque badass that's in control of every situation she enters.  That's not interesting.  That's one-dimensional and painfully Mary Sue-ish, like Dan Brown living out his fantasies as Robert Langdon in his novels (not the Tom Hanks movie character, the original novel incarnation).  That Samus has people she cares about, that she becomes frustrated, scared, angry and happy when confronted with different situations, that's characterization.  The construction of a three-dimensional character that's more than simply a woman that is also a badass.  Samus is badass as well; she just isn't badass in every situation she finds herself.  It's frustrating to think that people don't want complex characterization.  That they don't want characters that are more than just guns with legs.
 
Characters like Master Chief and Gordon Freeman are little more than ciphers for the player.  Master Chief may have a voice, but he's portrayed as this ridiculous, nigh-unstoppable one man army that the Covenant pisses their pants at.  Gordon Freeman has no personality at all.  He just does what he's told.  No dialogue, no voice, no thinking of any sort.  As a male, these are not characters that I want representing me.  Nor do I want the testosterone-fueled meatheads of Gears of War.
 
For all of the shit that gets slung in his direction, Squall is a remarkable character.  Yes, it is a simple characterization of a loner teenager growing out of his shell, but up to that point, how many games had actually tried portraying teenagers with any sense of growth in their maturity?  Sure, there are plenty of RPGs with idealistic, dopey teenagers with never-say-die attitudes; most characters of this sort are about as interesting and worthwhile as Master Chief.  They're not proper characters so much as they are heroic, idealistic ciphers.  Squall had weaknesses; he wasn't some spikey-haired badass.  He could be a jerk, a self-centered brat, a fucking asshole.  He wasn't the heroic type, yet he was our protagonist.  One that grew and matured over the course of the game.
 
And who did Square follow Squall up with?  Zidane.  God damn it.
 
But god forbid that a female action game protagonist show any sign of emotional weakness.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Hailinel: 
 
Sounds like you repeated one of my responses :P.
 
This is where we split. I don't like Squall, mainly because he and Rinoa pave the path for a predictable "p-word for story." He's this gruff loner who doesn't care for anybody, but by the end of the story, aw, how cute, he's learned to love, and to care about people other than himself! Your description of him as a "jerk, a self-centered brat, a fucking asshole" doesn't exactly persuade me, especially since that describes me so damn well.
 
I don't have any major problems with Zidane.
 
Unless she grows high heels and flips the fuck out :P.
Posted by animateria
@Video_Game_King said:

" @Claude: 
 
A wiidophile? A wiidhead?
 
@animateria:
 
Holy shit, I didn't realize how divisive this game was. Let me try to navigate this minefield, where the dirt is made of mines.
 
For the same reason we can't have a Hitler-esque villain: it's not very believable. You have to expand a character past a single trait to make them somebody; otherwise, you end up with any of Fox's animated series.
 
NO. FUCKING. NO. Do NOT turn Samus into Master Chief. Who the hell wants that?
 
Wait, you don't want to play the game? That means you haven't played it, right? Then how can you talk shit about it?
 
OK, I'll give you that, but consider this: when did Samus last have mystery? Check this shit out and point toward any ambiguity. "

 
Well, I don't want her to be Master Chief but I also don't think vulnerabilities are a necessary trait. That's the part of Master Chief I'm talking about.
 
And I'm not bashing the game play you know? Just certain story elements that people constantly bring up just don't appeal to me.
 
And anyways I know she has a extensive history but I'd like to keep it like a case file rather than going deep down into her emotional garbage (that's not quite at the mystery level but yeah I'd rather not know about that). Admittingly I didn't know about the comics so I'll take that hit.
 
Anyways from that link I got..
 

 Samus's personality has never been detailed in-depth within the context of the games, a conscious decision by Nintendo to help the player imagine themselves better as the in-game character, as well as allowing them to imagine Samus's personality and backstory in any way they wish. 
 
--------------------------------

In licensed Metroid material outside of the games, Samus’s personality is largely left up to the writer in question. As a result, her personality has varied considerably between major publications.
 
--------------------------------

Samus’s lack of defined personality is largely due to the fact that, aside from opening narrations, she has never had a speaking role except in Metroid: Other M. Prior to Metroid: Other M her voice would be represented by text at the beginning narration, as well as throughout Metroid Fusion. Her character depicted in Metroid Fusion, though mostly well received, did garner some criticism from gamers for its depiction of Samus, who they felt should have been better left to their imagination.
 
I guess I'm just in the school of, "leave it to my imagination".
Edited by Video_Game_King
@animateria: 
 
Vulnerability is a huge part of establishing character. Why do you think every mythical figure has some stupid weakness (Sampson's hair, Achilles' heel, Hercules not being a full god, etc.)? Because making them tanks would be really boring.
 
I'd still suggest actually playing the game, since it's not fair to criticize a game you haven't played.
 
Wait, that last quote: never had a speaking role? Then what the hell is Fusion? OH, text? I guess Samus just happened to carry a bunch of sticky notes, and her helmet doubled as a text messenger, then.
 
And as long as we're speaking of schools, I guess I'm in the school of "her personality in Other M is consistent with past characterizations, so I don't see what the problem is."
Posted by animateria
@Video_Game_King:  

I don't know, Nathan Drake didn't need to show a whole lot of emotional baggage (in terms of vulnerabilities) and he worked out fine. I like his character a lot with all it's flaws  and what not. Of course he was more physically vulnerable and barely scraped by through both games (Like all your examples...). But yeah girl with emotional baggage seems...... Well... I don't want to know that part of Samus.

Anyways, mechanically it seems fine so I'm thinking of picking it up down the road (hell, haven't picked up Mario Galaxy after I bought a Wii this year!). But I guess I'm rather turned off of all these dirt being kicked up over how she is represented as a character.
 
Oh, and I totally don't mind that's she's physically attractive or in a 'wetsuit'. I think people who think that's a overtly sexual depiction are being extreme. I mean I don't particularly think a wetsuit is that hot anyways (Though from what I've read Team Ninja is up to it's usual shenanigans?).
Posted by Video_Game_King
@animateria: 
 
I haven't exactly played Uncharted, but isn't that more of an action movie-esque game? Character depth isn't exactly a priority in those things.
 
Why not? It's kind of a big part of her personality, considering that humans are largely defined by their emotions, in a sense.
 
Here's a good hint: never trust what other people say. People suck in general, so why listen to them? They don't know you, so how can they know what you'd like? Don't simply absorb their opinions and make them your own; develop opinions through firsthand experience.
 
I agree with you on that (there's reasonable justification for it (you can't exactly wear a military uniform in a mech suit, can you?)), but isn't it a bit hypocritical to complain about Samus being sexualized through her emotions, yet glance over the wetsuit? The wetsuit that Nintendo made, but Team Ninja put high heels on?
Posted by animateria
@Video_Game_King said: 
 
She didn't half unzip her suit down to her navel or anything did she? 
 
I mean Snake in MGS4 had a suit that... Well, when he's crawling (humping) on the floor you can tell how much care they put into modeling his ass. If that was a girl, would that be overtly sexual? (To be fair, that whole Beauty thing with goo over them and slithering around is a bit too sexual).
 
But knowing Team Ninja (and that high heel example...), they make everything over sexualized.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@animateria: 
 
No, but what did I say that triggered that response?
 
Again, there's justification for her having the suit, but isn't it hypocritical to call out emotional sexualization but not physical sexualization?
Posted by animateria
@Video_Game_King: 
  
I don't think I actually said their emotional depiction of Samus was some sort of sexualization outright (Though I think I did have the tone). It's just a bit stereo-typical to create such vulnerabilities in female characters and that's not exactly why I'm interested in Samus as a character. In my personal (ideal?) view, she's a great bounty hunter in her universe. She has an impressive history in surviving through the most difficult of circumstances and getting her missions done. I don't need much more to respect and admire her.
 
She isn't perfect  though(Needing to be saved by a baby Metroid is one of numerous examples), and having her fail miserably and on the run from Pirates or whatever would make for an interesting plot (and adds a rather cool vulnerability, though I guess Fusion does have elements of this with the X Samus clone whatever thing if my memory serves correctly?)
 

Well, anyways back to the suit thing. I guess I'm saying a 'wetsuit' itself doesn't come off as sexual to me.  That ocean exploring game QL had girls in wetsuits, and I don't think any of that felt sexual at all. It's a suit that's built for a purpose. But really I haven't seen much of what Team Ninja did to Samus in this regard... Maybe I should be more scared of that (They didn't make her like those MGS4 beauties did they? God I'd hate it).
Posted by Dalai

The story made just enough sense for me to accept the whole thing. Honestly, the story is pretty secondary for me. My problem is with the controls which simply are too awkward for a 3D game. It needed that Nunchuk more than anything else.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@animateria: 
 
The vulnerabilities make her a human character who could actually exist. Without them, she just comes off as cliche. It's not really stereotyping to give her emotions or make her vulnerable, since these are defining traits in pretty much everybody.
 
Why would she need to run from the Pirates? She kicks their ass time and time again, and nobody's pissed about it.
 
I didn't see that Quick Look, but if you're saying that it's somewhat sexual...:P
 
I haven't played Guns of the Patriots, so allow me to stick my fingers in my ears and yell really loudly.
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