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Video_Game_King

So is my status going to update soon, or will it pretend that my Twitter account hasn't existed for about a month?

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This is why I can't sleep at night.

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Why, Quintet? Why? After

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And

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And especially

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Why this, of ALL things!? For those of you who do not know what I'm talking about, then congratulations! The nightmares have yet to reach you. I am talking, of course, of Planet Laika, Quintet's last credited game. Oh, you'll understand why when you see the terror that is Planet Laika.

Now two things to warn you about before I begin this nightmare. First, because of the special situation this game occupies, updates may not be daily. It's not like Persona 3, where I have WAY too many screenshots and I don't have to worry about missing a day, or Belle's Quest, where I'm already done with the game. I only play this a couple hours a day, and a lot of that is spent trying to understand what is being said. Oh, that reminds me of the second warning: all of this is in Japanese. Now I will translate all the text to the best of my abilities, but given my skill with the language (proficient), expect my translations to be kinda loose. Hopefully, nothing drastic, but not a 1:1 literal translation. If any of you notice anything REALLY wrong, feel free to bitch at me in the comments.

Be grateful that I put this all behind a spoiler block. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Trust me, a plastic Oddjob is the least unsettling thing to be found in this game.
Trust me, a plastic Oddjob is the least unsettling thing to be found in this game.
(The face...What is the face...Shit! Martian bastards!) Just in case you thought this made sense in Japanese. And this is the first line in the game.
(The face...What is the face...Shit! Martian bastards!) Just in case you thought this made sense in Japanese. And this is the first line in the game.
(They took human faces, and then the martians died off...What a strange feeling.) なんか妙な感じ, indeed.
(They took human faces, and then the martians died off...What a strange feeling.) なんか妙な感じ, indeed.
(Human faces brought about a calamity. That's the current theory.) Do I even need to caption these? My crappy translations are enough.
(Human faces brought about a calamity. That's the current theory.) Do I even need to caption these? My crappy translations are enough.
(It's you, Laika... I am October, serving as your current commanding officer.) Did somebody cross Sephiroth and Bane together into one unholy mess?
(It's you, Laika... I am October, serving as your current commanding officer.) Did somebody cross Sephiroth and Bane together into one unholy mess?
(There's a strange rumor floating around that some face-shaped monsters have appeared and hastened the end of the world.)
(There's a strange rumor floating around that some face-shaped monsters have appeared and hastened the end of the world.)
(You know this man, don't you, Laika?) Face-shaped monster, indeed.
(You know this man, don't you, Laika?) Face-shaped monster, indeed.
(God has died, my light...) This is a recurring theme in the game. No, it never makes any damn sense.
(God has died, my light...) This is a recurring theme in the game. No, it never makes any damn sense.
(But how did that Galir__(I got no clue)___?) THE POWER OF THE PLAYSTATION!
(But how did that Galir__(I got no clue)___?) THE POWER OF THE PLAYSTATION!
(We can't go on Martian soil, according to Officer October.) So remind me: where are the humans here, again?
(We can't go on Martian soil, according to Officer October.) So remind me: where are the humans here, again?
(Huh? My light? What's this
(Huh? My light? What's this "my light" business?) I'd have posted the explanation, but I don't remember it making a lot of sense. Is that any surprise?
I'd explain the joke, but the game just refers to him as Laika, anyway. I guess that's the joke?
I'd explain the joke, but the game just refers to him as Laika, anyway. I guess that's the joke?
(Chewbacca Nof? It's a prestigious name.) Indeed. (I have no clue what the ノフ is doing there.)
(Chewbacca Nof? It's a prestigious name.) Indeed. (I have no clue what the ノフ is doing there.)
Oh, don't worry. It's SUPPOSED to look like that.
Oh, don't worry. It's SUPPOSED to look like that.
It gets worse.
It gets worse.
IT GETS WORSE.
IT GETS WORSE.
(Mama...I was bad, Mama...Aaaa, no! That's not Mama! It's a lie!) A peek into Yukari Takeba's mind.
(Mama...I was bad, Mama...Aaaa, no! That's not Mama! It's a lie!) A peek into Yukari Takeba's mind.
I'm pretty sure this isn't the worst of it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't the worst of it.
It's like somebody put Giygas into video game form.
It's like somebody put Giygas into video game form.
And at the center of it all is Chewbacca and his vapid stare.
And at the center of it all is Chewbacca and his vapid stare.

Have you survived this? I doubt it.

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