You may resume your irrelevant anime comments...now.


Syd of Valis

( Or don't, for I don't care.) You may be asking yourself why I set up a title that I'd shoot down in the first sentence of this blog. Here's the answer: look above the sentence. What do you see? Yes: Syd of Valis. So what's that got to do with anything? First, it's far more chibi than anime, and I don't want to piss off anime fans (do I really need another Halo 3 on my hands?). Second, Syd of Valis sucks, so I imagine there will be more comments about how I'm wrong about this game than there will be comments about the Valis anime.

Actually, that's probably due to the fact that there was no Valis anime. Kinda. From the looks of it, the series tried to establish this huge media empire, but it never panned out. I'm guessing it's the story. I should probably explain that Syd of Valis is probably what happens when somebody misreads "Valis SD" while they're translating a game. Wait, I meant "Syd of Valis is Valis II." It takes place some time after Valis 1, the story of a Japanese youth never shutting the hell up. This time, however, she's learned to shut up (oh, and how to make ice cream swords), although perhaps a bit too well. I've always viewed Valis games as being a bit story heavy, so it's a bit of a surprise to see the utterly small amount of story in this game. You don't get a lot of cutscenes in the game, and the only dialogue the major bosses spew amounts to "Here is my name, you are going to die." Obviously, this creates a lot of confusion, and not just the relation between identity and killing somebody. For example, what the fuck is a Syd? Why did Yuko's friend come back to life for all of one cutscene? Who's this other girl? What the hell is going on? All I know is that there are four generals and an Emperor Megas (I'd make a Megas XLR joke, but I don't know what that is) out to conquer the land of Valis, and that there's a Syd in it. I should probably mention that I've actually played the original Valis, meaning I'm going to understand a good deal of what they're talking about. Imagine what somebody who's never played any previous Valis games would think upon seeing this.

 I don't know how, but I found a translation worse than Devil Survivor's.
I think I know what they'd think: "What's this chibi bullshit? Also, what's a chibi?" It's just way too cute and simple. I could use that to describe the entire game, but then I'd remember the equipment system. Good news: you get to equip different weapons and armor that have immediately noticeable effects, and one of those effects is a different looking sprite for each outfit! Bad news: they get progressively more sexual. If the game was any longer, the hentai games would have arrived sooner. However, it's only five levels of simplicity. You jump through straight levels, shoot at enemies, encounter a boss, get some life, and repeat. I know that I'm making this sound a bit RPG-y, but it really isn't. The closest it gets is when your weapons level up in level 4, for no reason. You battle a mini-boss, Yuko chews out the words "level-up", and they just become more powerful versions of what you already have. So forget anything about this being a grand story about mystical dimensions and sexually exploited Japanese girls; this is a straight-up platformer. As I said before, it's just running right and jumping, but even then, it fucks up at least one of those things. It could be either one, but I only noticed the super-advanced Ice Physics Engine when I was jumping onto nearby platforms. You'd think that this would piss me off a helluva a lot, and while it logically should, there's a good reason why it doesn't.

That's because the game's so easy that Yuko from Valis 1 could beat it. Keep in mind that rain confused this stupid girl. Anyway, this game is totally easy. As I said earlier, your weapons become more powerful in level 4, but even before then, you're pretty much carrying a sword that releases nuclear explosions with each swing. Unfortunately, the bosses are pretty much immune to radiation, so you'll need much more strategy and finesse. Some of the time. OK, a few of the bosses are challenging, but most of them are total pushovers. Two reasons for this: easily spottable patterns and dead spots. Just find the perfect spot, crouch, switch to your three-way weapon, and wait ten years for the bastard to die. Even the final boss falls for this bullshit. It's like they just didn't give a shit about this game. Hell, go back to the ice cream sword link and just look at the game. Look at it. You don't even have to look at it to know that it sucks; close your eyes and just listen to the laziness. Why couldn't they just release Valis II in America without this crap? I'm sure it would have been a decent game. You know, not like this. Just to drive the point home further, I'm giving this game the I'd Totally Video Review This if I Could Shit Work Out Award. I just need to figure out some weird Hypercam/Audacity hook-up before I can tear into this game on video.

Review Synopsis

  • Is it some type of achievement to have little story and make it confusing?
  • Just ignore the RPG elements, because this is a platformer. A very basic platformer.
  • Not even Magic Knight Rayearth was this maddeningly easy. It was just as maddeningly girly, but that's not enough.




OK, I wasted all my anime videos in my other anime blogs, so I'm just gonna post a Japanese video. Close enough, right?
  
  

Mega Man Zero 2

( Only now do I realize that I should have titled this blog "Eerie Similarities.") I'd make that a Renegade Ego spin-off, but given that I stumble upon this shit by accident, there's no chance in hell of this happening. Just look at these two games: they're both story heavy Japanese platformers that are sequels to other story heavy Japanese platformers, and I had to look up the stories to both in order to understand them. They also feature some light RPG elements that never really develop as far as they should. However, I did notice one big difference between these two games; Mega Man Zero 2 is actually pretty good.

Hey, remember when I said that I had to look up the story? I'm not kidding about that; I had to go to the Mega Man Zero article on Wikipedia to fill myself in on the story, because the game does not help you with it at all. Oh, and in case you try to yell at me for being unfair about this, keep in mind that I last touched Mega Man Zero in about the same amount of time it took this game to come out. So what's the story, again? Well, it's been 100 years since Mega Man X whatever, and every Reploid is assumed to be a Maverick, leading to their ultra-oppression under an evil M...wait, that's the story behind Mega Man Zero 1. Let's start over: it's been 101 years since Mega Man X whatever, and Zero's wandering through the desert, for some reason. Eventually, this wandering through the desert leads him to join a resistance force led by a guy (yes, he's a guy) who loves to stroke his hair before saying anything. I'd make a Family Guy joke, but I'm not the Nostalgia Critic, so it doesn't work. If you're looking for more story than that, then go to Mega Man X4 or something, because the story in this game is pretty bare. Some Nazi stuff, something about Baby Elves and a Dark Elf, a cliffhanger ending, and that's about it. It's really surprising, given just how much work Capcom put into so little story (you have a ton of characters that don't do anything, a villain who forgets his motivation, some cool pics, etc.), and it's really obvious how disappointing that is.

 Do you recognize this from anywhere? Me neither.
You know, just like the two equipment system thingies. First up is the Elf system, which makes a bit more sense when you realize that Elves aren't your traditional food-making magical midgets, but computer program fairy things. I said "a bit", OK? You equip them before going into battle, and each one has a unique effect that you'll only find on about half the other Elves. But still, disregarding that, they have a variety of uses, like upgrading health, making your platforming easier, and whatever the shit this is. It sounds innocent enough, but there's one major problem: the game doesn't want you using this cool feature. At all. Use it once, even in the useless pre-level base, and the game deducts it from your score. I've seen negative scores because of shit like this. I feel like I've seen this before, but for whatever reason, I can't name a single case of this happening. Fortunately, I can do just that for the second equipment system: forms. It's like Syd of Valis's armor thing, and it's just as useless. All I did was turn Zero purple. He should never be purple. Just like the chips, it's pretty much a useless visual add-on.

I can sense some confusion among you; looking at both my score for this game and this blog, your head has exploded in an attempt to calculate these numbers. I've exposed you, you fucking robots. No more will you go unnoticed. Now that the fucking robots are gone, let me give you the real reason I find this game to be awesome: really solid platforming. There are also some mission objectives to spice things up, but really, it's all about the platforming. You'll slide and jump through all the levels, and you'll die a few times, but damn it, you'll enjoy it. Part of the reason for this is the introduction of a grapple hook, and while it doesn't go all out Bionic Commando with it, it does get a decent amount of use. Hell, I was able to use it from some tricky wall jump chicanery in some levels, where it looked like Capcom didn't want me getting where I wanted to go. Awesome. At this point, I should mention the other weapons, but the only one worth mentioning is the sword. I know that it's impractical as hell when you're a robot with a gun, but killing things with your sword is actually really oddly satisfying. I'd explain it, but The Joker already did. It's even satisfying to use in the least useful situations. You know, like bosses. Remember how in Syd of Valis, you could find a blind spot and just plug away at a boss? Try that shit here, and you'll get your ass handed to you just so it can fling shit in your face. You need some actual skill to beat these guys, and part of that is because they've adopted the Kingdom Hearts boss strategy of piling health bar upon health bar. Then again, there is an Elf that reduces this to normal levels, so it all balances out. The only major flaw I noticed with them was that most of the time, they didn't have the Mega Man weaknesses. Obviously, this leads me to give the game the How Can You Call Yourself a Mega Man Game Award, and this blog the Most Abrupt Ending Award. Honestly, it came out of nowhere faster than it did in The Violinist of Hameln.

Review Synopsis

  • For such a focus on the story, there isn't a lot to it.
  • You know, if you're gonna put in RPG-esque features, at least make them useful.
  • The platforming just plain rocks. Not much more to say about it, really.
35 Comments
35 Comments
Posted by Video_Game_King

Syd of Valis

( Or don't, for I don't care.) You may be asking yourself why I set up a title that I'd shoot down in the first sentence of this blog. Here's the answer: look above the sentence. What do you see? Yes: Syd of Valis. So what's that got to do with anything? First, it's far more chibi than anime, and I don't want to piss off anime fans (do I really need another Halo 3 on my hands?). Second, Syd of Valis sucks, so I imagine there will be more comments about how I'm wrong about this game than there will be comments about the Valis anime.

Actually, that's probably due to the fact that there was no Valis anime. Kinda. From the looks of it, the series tried to establish this huge media empire, but it never panned out. I'm guessing it's the story. I should probably explain that Syd of Valis is probably what happens when somebody misreads "Valis SD" while they're translating a game. Wait, I meant "Syd of Valis is Valis II." It takes place some time after Valis 1, the story of a Japanese youth never shutting the hell up. This time, however, she's learned to shut up (oh, and how to make ice cream swords), although perhaps a bit too well. I've always viewed Valis games as being a bit story heavy, so it's a bit of a surprise to see the utterly small amount of story in this game. You don't get a lot of cutscenes in the game, and the only dialogue the major bosses spew amounts to "Here is my name, you are going to die." Obviously, this creates a lot of confusion, and not just the relation between identity and killing somebody. For example, what the fuck is a Syd? Why did Yuko's friend come back to life for all of one cutscene? Who's this other girl? What the hell is going on? All I know is that there are four generals and an Emperor Megas (I'd make a Megas XLR joke, but I don't know what that is) out to conquer the land of Valis, and that there's a Syd in it. I should probably mention that I've actually played the original Valis, meaning I'm going to understand a good deal of what they're talking about. Imagine what somebody who's never played any previous Valis games would think upon seeing this.

 I don't know how, but I found a translation worse than Devil Survivor's.
I think I know what they'd think: "What's this chibi bullshit? Also, what's a chibi?" It's just way too cute and simple. I could use that to describe the entire game, but then I'd remember the equipment system. Good news: you get to equip different weapons and armor that have immediately noticeable effects, and one of those effects is a different looking sprite for each outfit! Bad news: they get progressively more sexual. If the game was any longer, the hentai games would have arrived sooner. However, it's only five levels of simplicity. You jump through straight levels, shoot at enemies, encounter a boss, get some life, and repeat. I know that I'm making this sound a bit RPG-y, but it really isn't. The closest it gets is when your weapons level up in level 4, for no reason. You battle a mini-boss, Yuko chews out the words "level-up", and they just become more powerful versions of what you already have. So forget anything about this being a grand story about mystical dimensions and sexually exploited Japanese girls; this is a straight-up platformer. As I said before, it's just running right and jumping, but even then, it fucks up at least one of those things. It could be either one, but I only noticed the super-advanced Ice Physics Engine when I was jumping onto nearby platforms. You'd think that this would piss me off a helluva a lot, and while it logically should, there's a good reason why it doesn't.

That's because the game's so easy that Yuko from Valis 1 could beat it. Keep in mind that rain confused this stupid girl. Anyway, this game is totally easy. As I said earlier, your weapons become more powerful in level 4, but even before then, you're pretty much carrying a sword that releases nuclear explosions with each swing. Unfortunately, the bosses are pretty much immune to radiation, so you'll need much more strategy and finesse. Some of the time. OK, a few of the bosses are challenging, but most of them are total pushovers. Two reasons for this: easily spottable patterns and dead spots. Just find the perfect spot, crouch, switch to your three-way weapon, and wait ten years for the bastard to die. Even the final boss falls for this bullshit. It's like they just didn't give a shit about this game. Hell, go back to the ice cream sword link and just look at the game. Look at it. You don't even have to look at it to know that it sucks; close your eyes and just listen to the laziness. Why couldn't they just release Valis II in America without this crap? I'm sure it would have been a decent game. You know, not like this. Just to drive the point home further, I'm giving this game the I'd Totally Video Review This if I Could Shit Work Out Award. I just need to figure out some weird Hypercam/Audacity hook-up before I can tear into this game on video.

Review Synopsis

  • Is it some type of achievement to have little story and make it confusing?
  • Just ignore the RPG elements, because this is a platformer. A very basic platformer.
  • Not even Magic Knight Rayearth was this maddeningly easy. It was just as maddeningly girly, but that's not enough.




OK, I wasted all my anime videos in my other anime blogs, so I'm just gonna post a Japanese video. Close enough, right?
  
  

Mega Man Zero 2

( Only now do I realize that I should have titled this blog "Eerie Similarities.") I'd make that a Renegade Ego spin-off, but given that I stumble upon this shit by accident, there's no chance in hell of this happening. Just look at these two games: they're both story heavy Japanese platformers that are sequels to other story heavy Japanese platformers, and I had to look up the stories to both in order to understand them. They also feature some light RPG elements that never really develop as far as they should. However, I did notice one big difference between these two games; Mega Man Zero 2 is actually pretty good.

Hey, remember when I said that I had to look up the story? I'm not kidding about that; I had to go to the Mega Man Zero article on Wikipedia to fill myself in on the story, because the game does not help you with it at all. Oh, and in case you try to yell at me for being unfair about this, keep in mind that I last touched Mega Man Zero in about the same amount of time it took this game to come out. So what's the story, again? Well, it's been 100 years since Mega Man X whatever, and every Reploid is assumed to be a Maverick, leading to their ultra-oppression under an evil M...wait, that's the story behind Mega Man Zero 1. Let's start over: it's been 101 years since Mega Man X whatever, and Zero's wandering through the desert, for some reason. Eventually, this wandering through the desert leads him to join a resistance force led by a guy (yes, he's a guy) who loves to stroke his hair before saying anything. I'd make a Family Guy joke, but I'm not the Nostalgia Critic, so it doesn't work. If you're looking for more story than that, then go to Mega Man X4 or something, because the story in this game is pretty bare. Some Nazi stuff, something about Baby Elves and a Dark Elf, a cliffhanger ending, and that's about it. It's really surprising, given just how much work Capcom put into so little story (you have a ton of characters that don't do anything, a villain who forgets his motivation, some cool pics, etc.), and it's really obvious how disappointing that is.

 Do you recognize this from anywhere? Me neither.
You know, just like the two equipment system thingies. First up is the Elf system, which makes a bit more sense when you realize that Elves aren't your traditional food-making magical midgets, but computer program fairy things. I said "a bit", OK? You equip them before going into battle, and each one has a unique effect that you'll only find on about half the other Elves. But still, disregarding that, they have a variety of uses, like upgrading health, making your platforming easier, and whatever the shit this is. It sounds innocent enough, but there's one major problem: the game doesn't want you using this cool feature. At all. Use it once, even in the useless pre-level base, and the game deducts it from your score. I've seen negative scores because of shit like this. I feel like I've seen this before, but for whatever reason, I can't name a single case of this happening. Fortunately, I can do just that for the second equipment system: forms. It's like Syd of Valis's armor thing, and it's just as useless. All I did was turn Zero purple. He should never be purple. Just like the chips, it's pretty much a useless visual add-on.

I can sense some confusion among you; looking at both my score for this game and this blog, your head has exploded in an attempt to calculate these numbers. I've exposed you, you fucking robots. No more will you go unnoticed. Now that the fucking robots are gone, let me give you the real reason I find this game to be awesome: really solid platforming. There are also some mission objectives to spice things up, but really, it's all about the platforming. You'll slide and jump through all the levels, and you'll die a few times, but damn it, you'll enjoy it. Part of the reason for this is the introduction of a grapple hook, and while it doesn't go all out Bionic Commando with it, it does get a decent amount of use. Hell, I was able to use it from some tricky wall jump chicanery in some levels, where it looked like Capcom didn't want me getting where I wanted to go. Awesome. At this point, I should mention the other weapons, but the only one worth mentioning is the sword. I know that it's impractical as hell when you're a robot with a gun, but killing things with your sword is actually really oddly satisfying. I'd explain it, but The Joker already did. It's even satisfying to use in the least useful situations. You know, like bosses. Remember how in Syd of Valis, you could find a blind spot and just plug away at a boss? Try that shit here, and you'll get your ass handed to you just so it can fling shit in your face. You need some actual skill to beat these guys, and part of that is because they've adopted the Kingdom Hearts boss strategy of piling health bar upon health bar. Then again, there is an Elf that reduces this to normal levels, so it all balances out. The only major flaw I noticed with them was that most of the time, they didn't have the Mega Man weaknesses. Obviously, this leads me to give the game the How Can You Call Yourself a Mega Man Game Award, and this blog the Most Abrupt Ending Award. Honestly, it came out of nowhere faster than it did in The Violinist of Hameln.

Review Synopsis

  • For such a focus on the story, there isn't a lot to it.
  • You know, if you're gonna put in RPG-esque features, at least make them useful.
  • The platforming just plain rocks. Not much more to say about it, really.
Posted by WatanabeKazuma

The balance between gameplay and storyline is a tricky prospect, one I'm not entirely sure about from my perspective as a player. 


Maybe I am an odd exception, I was raised on platformers and as you say there is usually no effort to deliver any sort of plot.But still I adore games which treat their plot as lovingly as the gameplay, and am quite happy to sit through it if I find it compelling. I think its just an inevitability of the broadening audience for games in general.    

I am quite fond of the idea of an informed narrative in both films and games, not getting bogged down in exposition can instantly make the game more replayable. From recent experience I know that my experience replaying Yakuza 4 was hindered by the introduction which slows almost to a crawl due to its slavish devotion to the plot. The pacing of this becomes especially apparent when are viewing it all for a second time. I think Final Fantasy XIII is an good example of this trend inverted, you are thrown into the game with dense references to names and concepts you have no prior knowledge of. The game practically relies on your ability to read the in-game glossary in order to get any sort of grip on the plot early on. It was definitely something I had a love-hate relationship with yet I know I would appreciate this approach if I were to find myself facing another playthrough.

It can almost be perceived as a generational thing too, at least from my personal experience. I remember during my formative years of playing 16-bit games it was a surprise when I didn't have to gleam the plot from the instruction manual. My knowledge of Sonic outside what was happening on screen was bare bones, there is absolutely no context behind what is happening but maybe that was the point. Nowadays a lot of games are guilty of trying to cater to multiple crowds, leaving them open to spreading themselves too thin in the process.

Playing through Bayonetta at the moment has made me realise that it is a game which treads between both approaches, it has the sensibilities of older games but yet has cinematic flourishes inserted in-between. I am loving what semblance of plot comes through but from reading reviews on its release I know there was many who felt that the cutscenes are needless and clash with the approach of being a flat out action game.

At least from a personal perspective I certainly find the no plot approach far less prevalent than it once was.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@WatanabeKazuma:

If ever there was a case for the phrase, "tangentially related", it would be this. Yea, the stories of each game were pretty big aspects, but there were a lot of other aspects that I think I focused on a bit more. Then again, I wrote this immediately before the site crashed, and I'm too lazy to go back and look at what I said.
Posted by WatanabeKazuma
@Video_Game_King: 

Yep, you mentioning the lack of any in-game information regarding story just got me onto train of thought. I don't know whether I actually miss those days truth be told.
Posted by JackSukeru
Mega Man Zero 2 just so happens to be the very best Mega Man game ever. Also the following games do not have the bionic laser hookshot so don't even bother with those. Only having borrowed a copy from a friend of a friend I had to get a Japanese copy just to play it again (Before the DS collection came out) which was fine 'cause the story is whatevs and I recalled what most of what the elves did anyway.

Most of the bosses do have weaknesses only it's to elements this time so you'll have to equip the right elemental chip and charge your Buster or Sword to exploit them. Also getting an A or an S rank in a level let's you get the special ability of the next boss that you're facing, so If you want to get all of them you sort of have to keep it up from level to level, while not using any or very few elves of course.

Or you can just aim to get all the forms by doing thing like killing a certain number of enemies with the buster in a level, gets hard to do both though so you'll probably have to new game plus it, and only crazy people, or people who really like the game, will want to do that.

Protip: there's a hidden Elf in the factory level that doubles your life, you'll have to aim some of the homing bombs towards the ceiling to find the path to it though. Now if you get all the life upgrades you will have as much health as the bosses. That's great!

IF IT IS NOT OBVIOUS I REALLY LOVE THIS GAME AND TO PROVE IT I WROTE THIS MESSAGE HOLDING DOWN THE SHIFT KEY BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS FOR LOSERS!
Posted by Video_Game_King

The part about ranking well on bosses sounds good, but why can't I use elves to get through it? That would be like if Castlevania: Lords of Shadow gave you more experience for not using Light/Shadow magic. (The only reason I say this is because at one point, I thought that was the case.)

I'd probably get all the forms if they did something more substantial than "make Zero look less cool."

Really? Shit.

I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR LOVE, AS THIS IS AN AWESOME GAME. I MAY AGREE WITH YOU ON IT BEING THE BEST MEGA MAN GAME, BUT I'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE ABOUT THAT. I MAY HAVE LIKED MEGA MAN 2 MORE, BUT THIS GAME IS STILL AWESOME.

Posted by melcene
Irrelevant anime comment:  Sakura Con was this weekend.  Told the husband that Japanese chicks walking around in anime costumes would have been much more preferable to what we were subjected to.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@melcene:

Irrelevant non-anime comment: I did not know that you were a girl. Might as well add you to the list of GB girls. Let's see: Pepsiman, PixelPrinny, Taliciadragonsong, you...that's about it. We need more girls on the site.
Posted by JazGalaxy

wow. this is some of the worst writing I've seen in a while.

Topic sentences.  Use them. Otherwise I can't have any idea what you're talking about.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@JazGalaxy said:
" wow. this is some of the worst writing I've seen in a while.Topic sentences.  Use them. Otherwise I can't have any idea what you're talking about. "
I think it's pretty good. Granted, I jump around from point to point, but I think I get the message across on all those points. Also, this isn't really one of my best blogs (not the worst, by far), so there's that.
Posted by BigLemon

 I couldn't resist.
Posted by Skald

 This is VALIS
Posted by Video_Game_King
@extremeradical:

It's also a joke that was probably made before, most likely in the comments of my last Valis blog.
Posted by JackSukeru
@BigLemon: Yeah there is a lot of Fuck Anime out there, though most of it is probably Fetish Anime.

@Video_Game_King: Mega Man 2 is definetly up there, and so would Mega Man 3 be if it didn't have that bullshit part where you have to Rush Jet, and if you fail the first time it's pretty much impossible to get through so you have to kill yourself. Also the Copy bot is cheap, sliding is cool though.

And on the subject of Mega Man games, have you tried out Mega Man ZX Advent? It's basically like the Zero games only less fun and mixed with Metroid in a half hearted way that doesn't reallly bring anything to it. It's still kinda cool because you can transform into all the bosses, shown here:
Posted by Video_Game_King
@RockmanBionics:

I'll ignore your stupid anime hate and focus on Mega Man.

No, I haven't touched Mega Man ZX Advent Stupid Title Bullshit Whatever. I've only touched Classic, X, Zero, Legends, and that's about it.
Posted by JackSukeru
@Video_Game_King:  I was actually just making a stupid joke about how most anime porn seem to cater to specific fetishes rather than the broader appeal of just regular sex. Not that I'm an expert, just making assumptions based on experience.

Don't interpret it as hate, I love me some anime.

Seems like you've touched most of the good stuff, I wanna try out the original Legends myself some day. A lot of people seem to have a higher fondness for that game than for MML2 which was a game I really liked.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@RockmanBionics:

A.) Why are you hating on porn? People who are into that already have no sense of shame, so what's the point?
B.) Experience? *raises eyebrow*

Wait, Mega Man Legends 2 is worse than the first one? Shit. The first one wasn't that good to begin with.
Posted by Cheesebob

  
  Couldn't be said any better

Posted by Video_Game_King
@Cheesebob:

I shall tackle your lame, completely overused meme with one of my own. USURA NIGERRIMUS DAEMONIA, CONJURO MAXIME IMPIA SPIRITUUM. SURGE, MAGNA CHICKENHEAD!!


Posted by JackSukeru
@Video_Game_King:
A.) I am not hating on porn, also I have no sense of shame. (I am also a romantic, Paradox!)
B.) As in experience watching anime porn.

You seem to like subjecting yourself to awful crap, y'know with some of the games you've been playing, so why not watch some and write another of these fine blogs about it, eh? It'd be fun (for me).
Oh wait, now I totally am hating on it aren't I? Oh well, consistency monshlistency.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@RockmanBionics:

Wait, watch some bad anime or watch some hentai? What the hell would I say about the latter? How would I even put pictures in it?
Posted by JackSukeru
@Video_Game_King said:
" @RockmanBionics: Wait, watch some bad anime or watch some hentai? What the hell would I say about the latter? How would I even put pictures in it? "
1. Anime Porn, I am anal and refuse to call anime porn "hentai" because a) that doesn't actually mean "anime porn" and b) it doesn't get the point across as well as simply saying "anime porn" does.
2. You could talk about what it was about (a lot of these have half hearted stories that are pretty stupid), and how fucked up parts of it were. It would be sort of like what you do now with videogames. Only with porn. Japanese animated porn.
3. Just grab a screen of some guy's face all like "This is the main character dude, he's the regular brown haired generic anime guy type. He is identical to the last three shows I watched.". Or you could take one of some other hilarious hi-jinks that always goes on in between, y'know, the actual porn.
Posted by JackSukeru

Actually, this seems like kind of a fun idea. If you don't do it, I might.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@RockmanBionics:

A.) Huh? What's the difference between hentai and anime porn? They both communicate the same points, maybe.
B.) Then why wouldn't I just blog about anime?
C.) That's not how I use pictures, though. I kinda use them to spice up my blog, so it isn't just a few paragraphs of pure text.
D.) Go ahead, I don't care. The closest I'll come is if I review a hentai game...which I totally will, as soon as I find some old school hentai games.
Posted by Napalm

Those of you who are saying that anime is dumb need to take off those blinders and see more than just preteens with big boobs and panty-flashing. I know it's fun to jump on memes and bandwagons, but lets try to educate ourselves a little more, eh?

Posted by luce

Megaman Zero is the shit though it pretty much peaked at MZ2. I hope they do another one though. Megaman ZX is just dumb

Posted by ryanwho

Anime Thundercats took out Panthro. Japan is full of racists.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@ryanwho said:
" Anime Thundercats took out Panthro. Japan is full of racists. "
Wait, there's a Thundercats anime? *watches YouTube trailer* Actually, that looks pretty badass. I need to see this. Also, since it's a Cartoon Network original, blame America. (On that note, somebody mind explaining why being made in America makes something not anime? Bandit Keith is in anime, and he's nothing but "in America.")
Posted by Claude

This blog made me look up the Mega Man franchise page. Holy fuck there's a lot of Mega Man games. And I haven't played a single one.

Posted by Video_Game_King
@Claude:

Get on it, because there are some good games in that franchise.
Posted by Claude
@Video_Game_King said:
" @Claude: Get on it, because there are some good games in that franchise. "
I'm too old and feeble to play Mega Man games I believe. I think that time has passed me by.
Posted by Commisar123

wait but anime is for jerks...

Edited by craigbo180
@Video_Game_King said:

" We need more girls on the site. "

*edit: I tried to insert "no girls allowed" sign image. Embarrassingly this did not work.
Posted by pikeplacer

A translation worse than that of Devil Survivor... Sad.

 

 

Just sad...

Posted by Video_Game_King
@pikeplacer:

True. I never thought I'd see the day.