By vidiot 2 Comments
Hey everybody. I've neglected this page for too long. More importantly: I've neglected you.
Did that sound too creepy? Don't worry, like all things I say and do: It's intentional.
It was meant to sound creepy.
It's strange writing again in this text box. I've missed it. All the little numbers and do-dads on the top. That message on-top of the text-box that says I should switch over to Parchment v2 formatting but I never will. For no real reason: I'm just that stubborn.
I'm rambling again and I'm missing the point. It's not that I grew tired of talking to you...Talking at you... It's that it's very difficult right now too, and I never gave a concrete answer to why and I think this page should reflect something more than just: "YEAH, I'LL WRITE SOMETHING LATER I GUESS."
So while were on the subject of me saying somewhat creepy construed statements to one-another, let's get personal.
I'm in transition.
My life has dramatically changed the last few months, but the seeds for that changed happened months if not a full year before. I had decided to continue my own personal prime-directive, something I had been admittedly somewhat scared to do. I've had a difficulty with confidence for years. Regardless, I decided I wanted more in my life, probably because even though my self-esteem has always been a bit low, it's always secretly butted-heads with my personal ambition, that's on the level of a fucking super-villain.
For years I've been ignoring my ambition, until it simply became too much. I decided to continue the college thing out-side of an AA, so I set out to go to art school with a future goal to get into the games industry...Or the animation industry...Or any real industry that will hire me: holy-crap-job-market.
I'm in my third quarter now. I'm downtown a bunch, and to continue the theme of being creepy personal: I'm really enjoying it.
It's hard to define, but there's a part of me that feels...good. Just personally "good", like I've fallen into a groove of things that I can tolerate. School is tough, but if this is any indication of my future time here, or my future in general: I'm kinda excited about my future. I'm more confident. I'm fucking broke out of my mind- but I feel happy.
I'm gaming less and less and I miss it. I really do. It will never go away. But I've now gone almost an entire half-a-week without picking up a controller. Go ahead and scoff at that- but we're on the topic of being creepy personal, and this is a personal blog...Aside... From the fact...That this this is being shared with whomever might see this-whatever: That still means a lot to me.
I tweet and do the occasional forum post here-and-there. With all this said: Let this post be a good page for those of you who may wander here and wonder where the hell I am.
In other words: One day more blogs will continue here. Just not yet. Not yet.
...Gladiator was on TV while I typed this.
I know now that I am strange, but I will not apologize! EVER!